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WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
WLIIA Chat Games
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NARRATE
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Game: Narrate
Players: _Daniel_, Mochrie
Scene: Ordering fast food
(Token Narrate music playing in the background)
"HE WAS AS TALL AS A RED CEDAR, AND TWICE AS THICK. I HAD BEEN
DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD THAT DAY, WHEN I HAD SUDDENLY HAD A CRAVING
FOR A HAMBURGER. I THOUGHT I'D GO INTO THAT McDONALD'S OVER THERE.
I STEPPED IN, AND THERE SAW THE MAN BEHIND THE COUNTER."
<_Daniel_> MAY I HELP YOU? "I ASKED IF HE NEEDED HELP, BUT I KNEW HE DIDN'T.
HE WASN'T A BUSINESS, 'I CAN RULE THE WORLD' TYPE OF MAN, MORE OF
A CROSS BETWEEN A BLOATED HYENA AND A HORNY CHIMP. AND THRICE AS
TASTY."
YA, YOU COULD HELP ME. I'M IN NEED OF NOURISHMENT, AND I THOUGHT
THAT, WELL, YOU, COULD HELP ME DECIDE WHAT TO ORDER. "I KNEW WHAT
I WANTED TO ORDER, I JUST WANTED TO SEE HIM SQUIRM."
<_Daniel_> WHY DON'T YOU GO OVER TO THE FRYER AND SEE WHAT'S COOKING? "HE
SEEMED A BIT TOO CONFIDENT KNOWING HE WOULD MAKE A FIVE-YEAR-OLD
KID VERY FULL ONE DAY. I DECIDED TO KEEP MY EYE ON HIM, BUT I
COULDN'T BECAUSE IT WAS ON THE TABLE."
FINE, I'LL GO OVER TO THE FRYER. "I WANDERED BACK BEHIND THE
COUNTER TO THE FRYER. I FOUND IT ODD, SEEING AS THAT I DIDN'T
WORK THERE, I'M JUST A CUSTOMER. BUT I WENT ALONG WITH HIM." HEY,
WHAT'S IN THE FRYER?
<_Daniel_> OH, NOTHING, JUST SOME FRENCH FRIES. "I WAS GOING TO PUSH HIM IN.
I THOUGHT I COULD FRY HIM, TAKE THE ENCYCLOPEDIAS AND RUN. THEN I
FORGOT, I WASN'T A SALESMAN." TAKE A COUPLE - THEY'RE...TASTY.
"I REACHED INTO THE DEEP-FAT FRYER, AND GRABBED A FEW FRIES. IT
WAS THEN I REALIZED THAT THE FRYER WAS IN FACT FILLED WITH DEEP
FAT...A DIM BULB BRIGHTENED IN MY HEAD..." SAY, THIS IS REALLY
HOT! YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO FRY ME, ARE YOU?
<_Daniel_> "HE KNEW TOO MUCH. THERE WAS ONLY ONE OPTION." FORGET THIS EVER
HAPPENED AND YOU'LL GET A TELETUBBIES HAPPY MEAL TOY!
"IT WAS THEN I GLANCED AT THE TELETUBBY TOY THAT THE MAN HELD IN
HIS HAND. IT LOOKED LIKE NOTHING I'D EVER SEEN BEFORE. ESPECIALLY
SINCE I HAD NO IDEA WHAT A TELETUBBY IS. BUT IT INTRIGUED ME."
YEAH, SURE, I'LL TAKE THAT TELETUBBY TOY.
<_Daniel_> GOOD. NOW, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO EAT? "I HAD JUST REALIZED HE
WASN'T WEARING A SHIRT OR SHOES AND HAD A SQUID WRAPPED AROUND
HIS WAIST. I WASN'T SUPPOSED TO SERVE HIM. IT'S AGAINST THE RULES.
AND IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE RULES, THERE WOULD BE CHAOS, AND ANARCHY
AND... OH, I'M BABBLING, AREN'T I? NEVER MIND."
"ACTUALLY, THAT TELETUBBY TOY LOOKED MIGHTY TASTY TO ME." MIND IF
I EAT THE TOY INSTEAD? I'LL PAY FOR IT. "I WAS BLUFFING, OF
COURSE, I HAD NO MONEY."
<_Daniel_> "I WAS TELEPATHIC AND COULD HEAR EVERYTHING HE WAS SAYING. HIS
THOUGHTS WERE ANNOYING. IT GAVE ME A HEADACHE." YOU DON'T HAVE TO
PAY ME ANYTHING. JUST STOP THINKING.
"IN FACT, I HAVEN'T HAD A THOUGHT SINCE 1982. THE MERE THOUGHT OF
ME HAVING A THOUGHT...OH WAIT, THAT'S A THOUGHT ISN'T IT? OR IS
IT...WELL, IF I'M THINKING OF A THOUGHT WHEN I HAVEN'T HAD A
THOUGHT FOR 16 YEARS, THAT MEANS ... MY HEAD HURTS." I'LL JUST
TAKE THE TOY TO GO, PLEASE.
<_Daniel_> "IT WAS ENOUGH. I DECIDED TO JUST FRY HIM."
* _Daniel_ pushes Mochrie into the fryer.
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