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                           WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
                               WLIIA Chat Games
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                                 PARTY QUIRKS
                                  (Part Two)
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Game:    Party Quirks
Players: BSherwood, Josie, PartyHost, RyDad, SFry
Quirks:  BSherwood is Richard Vranch's mother, Josie is receiving an Oscar,
         RyDad is a pregnant cow and SFry is Marge Simpson.

 OH DEAR, I'M TERRIBLY NERVOUS. I'VE NEVER ORGANIZED A COME AS
            "ADORING FLUORESCENT POULTRY" PARTY...

     LOL!
     LOL!
 LOL Emile!

 LET SEE, SOME S'MORES, TWIGLETS, BEER, SODA, ALL WE NEED NOW
            ARE SOME GUESTS!

* BSherwood knocks at the door.

 HEY BRAD! WELCOME TO MY PARTY!
 SO! YOU'RE THE ONE! 
 I AM? WELL, I'M HONOURED....I THINK.
 I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO MY LITTLE BOY! HE SPENT TEN
            YEARS WORKING FOR YOU AND YOU DO THIS!
 I'M SORRY, I HAD TO LAY HIM OFF.
 SOMETIMES HE CAME HOME WITH BLISTERS ON HIS FINGERS!

     LOL!

 AND HE'S DUMPED LIKE YESTERDAY'S NEWS!
 WELL, WHEN YOU'RE ONE OF SANTA'S ELVES, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE!
 HE'S SPENT THE PAST SIX MONTHS IN HIS ROOM CRYING BECAUSE OF
            YOU! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!
 WELL, ANYWAY, CAN I GET YOU A DRINK OF SOME KIND?

     LOL!

 ARE YOU THAT MEAN? CAN'T AFFORD ONE PLANE TICKET? YOU SHOULD
            BE ASHAMED! 
 OH, BELIEVE ME I AM....I HAVEN'T GOT A BLOODY CLUE WHO I AM,
            BUT I AM ASHAMED.
 MY LITTLE BOY....HE'S RIPPED UP THE HOEDOWN MUSIC!
 ARE YOU RICHARD'S FATHER?

 WOOOOHOOOOOO! Well, Mum actually. :) And yr Dan Patterson. :)
     Hehehehe! Wow!!!
     LOL!
 Close enough!
 Well done Emile!
 Thanks!

* Josie is knocking on the door!

 WELCOME JOSIE!  COME RIGHT IN!
     HELLO...PLEASE, HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE...UM, DON'T I GET TO HOLD
            THE LITTLE GUY WHILE I TALK?

     LOL Jo!

     ISN'T THAT THE USUAL ROUTINE?
 I'M SORRY, I WASN'T EXPECTING A VENTRILOQUIST AT MY PARTY.
     THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE I NEED TO THANK...THE WHOSERS, FOR
            THE INSPIRATION. I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT THEM. CAN I
            HAVE A DRINK OF WATER, PLEASE?

     LOL Jo!
     LOL!

 UM, MIGHT I SUGGEST HOLLYWOOD? YOU'LL PROBABLY FIND YOUR OSCAR
            WAITING FOR YOU THERE.

     Wooooo!
 Yay!
    Well done Emile! :)

 SOMEONE ELSE SHOULD BE COMING SOON, I HOPE.

* RyDad knocks at door.

 WELCOME TIM! HELP YOURSELF TO SOME SNACKS.
     MOOOOVE OUTTA MY WAY!

     LOL!
    Hehehe!

 HEY, DON'T BE PUSHY!
     LISTEN, I HAVE A BEEF WITH MEN RIGHT NOW!
 I'D STAY AWAY FROM THE TRAY OF MEATBALLS, YOU OLD COW YOU.

     ROFL!
    LOL!

     UDDERLY DISGUSTED TO SAY THE LEAST! OOOOO!
 AND THAT'S NO BULL! :)
     BREATHE, BREATHE, PUSH! BREATHE, BREATHE, GRUNT!
 ARE YOU CALFING? 

    *g*
     Hehehe, too good Mocha!
      LOL!
     LOL!
     A pregnant cow! :)
    Yaaaaay!
     Yayyay!

* SFry knocks on the door.

 WELCOME STEPHEN! GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT!
      OH LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT MY HAIR!

     LOL! Bad hair day, Moll? :)

 YES, VERY LOVELY HAIR YOU HAVE. MIGHT I INTEREST YOU IN SOME
            HADDOCK GEL?
      THERE'S TOO MUCH VIOLENCE. LOOK AT THE ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SHOW
            FOR INSTANCE.
 OH MARGE, HOW LOVELY OF YOU TO COME TO MY PARTY!

      Good! :)
    Wooohoooo!
     Aw Emile, you're too good at that game! :)
     Wooohoo!

* PartyHost hands out s'mores to everyone for a great game!
* Deano snatches the twiglets from Emile's clutches.

      Wow!
     Hehe, you were very funny Jo!
    Thanks :) I'm so nervous when I play!
 Joanne: you shouldn't be. You're a natural!
    Awww, you're way too kind, guys!
       You did fine Jo!
     Emile, I did the same quirk last night, but Will was host and
            he had never seen Richard Vranch! :(
    That was fun :)
 You were all great!
    You guys are so much fun :)
       Wooohoo!
     Hope you can find room for that one on yr site Emile!
   You betcha!
    Dean: there's always room for chat transcripts! That and Jell-O!

    LOL!

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Game:    Party Quirks
Players: HLaurie, Merts, Mesk, Mochrie, TonySlats
Quirks:  HLaurie is Dr. Who, Merts is a fireman, Mesk is all 6 Brady kids
         from "The Brady Bunch" and Mochrie thinks he's come to a WLiiA
         convention.

* TonySlats has been blowing up balloons for hours.

 OK, I'VE GOT CAKE, CONFETTI AND LOTS OF BOOZE!

* HLaurie knocks on the door.
* TonySlats opens the door.

   HELLO, DEAN! BOY I'M TIRED THAT TRIP TO THE 1800'S WAS HARD.
 YOU LOOK WORN OUT, HOW ABOUT A TWIGLET?
   OKAY.

* HLaurie screams!

   LOOK OUT! DOCTOR!!!!
 LOOK OUT FOR WHAT?
   THERE'S AN ALIEN BEING ATTACKING YOU!!!! OH DOCTOR!!!!
 OH GET BACK IN YR TIME MACHINE!

   Close!

 YOU DR. WHO ASSISTANT!

   Yup!
     Wow!
   Woo!!
  BUZZZY, very good!

 I HOPE IT WAS SARAH JANE...I ALWAYS LIKED HER!
     

* TonySlats opens the door.

     ALL RIGHT, BEDFORD, LET'S MOVE IT, NO TIME TO WASTE! GO GET THAT
            INCH AND A HALF ON THE DOUBLE!
 MORE LIKE EIGHT INCHES...

* Clivette groans

     COME ON, MAN, GET UP THAT LADDER NOW {ARF} HOW DID THAT DALMATION
            GET IN HERE?
 WELL LADIES FIRST! CAN I OFFER YOU A DRINK AT ALL? 
     DON'T FORGET YOUR OXYGEN TANK AND AXE, YOU'LL NEED 'EM. LOOKS
            PRETTY BAD FROM HERE. WELL, WE GOT PLENTY OF WATER HERE. DON'T
            NEED A DRINK, I GUESS.
 YOU'RE A FIREFIGHTER? NO FIRE HERE...

     Yes! :)
   Woo! Woo! Woo!
  Yes, yes! Excellent! *BUZZ*

* Mesk rings doorbell.
* TonySlats opens the door.

 JIM GOOD TO SEE U! COME IN MAN!
      HEY! SORRY I'M LATE BUT I HAD A DATE WITH THIS GROOVY CHICK WHO
            MESSED UP MY PERM!

     LOL!
 Hehehe!

 HEY NO PROBLEM CAN I GET YOU A DRINK? DO YOU LIKE TO DANCE, I
            HAVE NANA MOUSKOURI'S GREATEST HIT?

   LOL!
   ROTFL!
     :)

      DO YOU HAVE ANY DAVY JONES?
 YEP... AT THE BOTTOM OF THE BUDGIE CAGE

     Hey! :)
   Dean!

      AND WHAT'S TO  EAT? PORK CHOPS AND APPLESAUCE? THAT
            WOULD BE SWELL!

   LOLOL!
     ROTFL!
   Oh man!

 YOURE A 60'S TEENAGER?
      OH NO IT'S TWIGLETS! ALL I EVER HEAR ABOUT IS HOW GREAT TWIGLETS
            ARE! TWIGLETS, TWIGLETS, TWIGLETS!

     OMG, this is great!
  LOL!!!!
   You are too good!
   :)

      HEY, THESE TWIGLETS AREN'T IN A BOWL! I'LL HAVE TO PUT YOU ON
            REPORT!
 WELL, DONT WORRY, ALL I HEAR IS HOW BAD THEY ARE! YOU'RE A SITCOM
            TEENAGER?

     Oooh so close!
   Very close!
   Close!
  What sitcom??

 RONNY HOWARD?
      CLOTHE. AND THITH ITH THE BETHT PARTY I'VE EVER BEEN TO!

  Oooooo!

 OH GOD! YOU'RE IN THE BRADY BUNCH?

     Hehehehehe!
  That's it! *BUZZZZZZ!*
   LOL! he's all 6 Brady kids!
   Yay!
  Woooooooo!!!!
      Stole your idea!

* Mochrie rings the doorbell.
* TonySlats opens the door.

   OH MY GOD! ARE YOU DEAN?
 MY CLOTHES AREN'T THAT BAD! AND I HAVE HOSTED 28 PARTIES...

     LOL!
   ;o)

   OH WOW! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. IT'S SO GREAT TO MEET YOU!
 WELL, ITS GREAT TO MEET YOU!
   OH, I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR SO LONG! PLEASE TELL
            ME YOU HAVE TWIGLETS!
 HAVE A TWIGLET!
   OH....MY.....GOD! TWIGLETS!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! 
 HERE THEY ARE.
   I FINALLY GET TO TRY ONE! OH, MY WILDEST DREAM HAS COME TRUE!

* Mochrie takes a twiglet and devours it!

     ROTFL!

   WOAH! WHAT A RUSH!! SAY, WHERE'S EVERYONE ELSE?
 YOU'RE JUST AMAZINGLY ENTHUSIASTIC!
   ARE WE GOING TO PLAY GAMES? CAN I TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU? CAN I?
            CAN I?
 WELL I DID HAVE A FIREMAN HERE, BUT SHE WENT OFF IN A PHONE BOX
            WITH SARAH JANE!

     LOL!
      LOL!

   WHERE'S EVERYONE THAT I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT? TASHIA, CLAUDIA,
            NESS, NAT, MICHELLE, MARK?
 YOU'RE A WHOSER ARENT YOU?

   LOL!

   WHY I AM! SO, WHAT'S ON THE AGENDA?

     Yay!
   Not totally there! :)
     But nearly. :)
   Getting close!

 A WHOSER STALKING ME?
   PLEASE TELL ME WE'RE GOING TO SEE COLIN PERFORM! 
 YOU ARE ME????????????
   OR GREG, OR RYAN, OR BRAD....
 YOU'RE ASHLEY?
   NO, BUT I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT HER! I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HER!
 HMMMMM!
   DO YOU THINK THERE'LL BE ANOTHER ONE NEXT YEAR?

     Good one! :)
   Good clue!
   Hehe thanks!

 WELL YOU'RE .............
   AND WILL IT BE AT YOUR HOUSE AGAIN? I HAD SO MUCH FUN SWIMMING
            ACROSS THE OCEAN TO VISIT YOU!
 OH I DONT KNOW... SORRY...

   LOL!

 WHO IS IT?
   AND MAYBE NEXT TIME WE'LL GO SEE A TAPING OF WLiiA!

     You've got the Whoser part right... but where is the Whoser?

 AT THE CONVENTION?

   YES!!!!!!
     Yep! :)
   Yay!
   Woo! Woo!
 Whew! Very good game! :) You were all good! Especially Jeff! :)
     Jeff was great!
   So were you! :) WTG Jeff!
        Well, I stole a good idea! :)

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Game:    Party Quirks
Players: BSherwood, Meskimen, PartyHost, RyDad, Will
Quirks:  BSherwood is ABBA, Meskimen is an ABC censor, RyDad is suffering
         from Mad Cow Disease, and Will is Blitzen. (Y'know, the reindeer!)

 OH DEAR, I'M SO NERVOUS. I'VE NEVER ORGANIZED A "WHOSE LINE
            ON ICE" PARTY. GOT SOME TWIGLETS OVER THERE, AND LOTS OF ALCOHOL
            OVER HERE. JUST NEED SOME GUESTS!

      Hehe!

* BSherwood knocks at the door.

 HEY BRAD! COME ON IN! YOU'RE MY FIRST GUEST! WELCOME!
 PITY THERE WASN'T A BELL I COULD RING RING.
 SORRY, I JUST HAVE A DOOR-KNOCKER, BUT ANYWAY, HELP YOURSELF TO
            AN HORS D'OEUVRES.
 WOW THEY MUST HAVE COST PLENTY OF MONEY MONEY MONEY. HEY, CAN
            YOU SHOW ME TO THE WATERLOO?
 BUT OF COURSE! ONLY THE BEST FOR YOU GUYS! IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO
            SEE YOU BENNY, BJORN, AGNETHA AND FRIDA! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED YOU
            GUYS TO VISIT ME!

 Yep!

* BSherwood exits.
* Meskimen knocks on door.

 HEY JIM! COME ON IN! YOU JUST MISSED ABBA! I WAS ABOUT TO OFFER
            THEM A SWEDISH MEATBALL! I CALL THEM ACE OF BASE SURPRISE.
  GOOD, THEY GOT RID OF THE DOORBELL LIKE I TOLD THEM TO. I MEAN
            REALLY, "DING DONG"? SOMEONE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN MAD..

      LOL!

 YEAH, THE NEIGHBOURS HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING LATELY. THEY'RE JUST
            NEVER HAPPY!

      LOL!

  ACE OF BASE? AREN'T THEIR LYRICS A BIT... RISQUE?
 ACTUALLY, THEY'RE ABOUT AS BLAND AS JOHN DENVER!
  WELL, WE TOOK CARE OF HIM...

 Ouch!

 I'M SORRY, THE MOB PARTY IS NEXT DOOR.
  THESE TWIGLETS WILL HAVE TO GO, TOO, OF COURSE...TOO PHALLIC IN
            APPEARANCE!

  LOL!
      No!

 WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE PROTESTERS AT MY PARTIES! CAN'T A GUY HAVE
            A LITTLE SIMPLE EXTRAVAGANT PARTY ONCE IN A WHILE?
  CAN A STAGEHAND TAKE THESE AWAY... WHOOPS I SAID THE "H" WORD!
 DAMN YOU! I WILL NOT HAVE ABC CENSORS IN MY HOUSE!
  THEN YOU'RE CANCELLED!

 LOL!
  Wooo! Buzz!
      Hehe! You almost had him foxed!

* Meskimen leaves.
* RyDad knocks/rings the doorbell.

 You knock the doorbell? Wierdo! =o)

 COME IN TIM! THE FUN'S ABOUT TO START!
     HEY ARE THOSE MEATBALLS?
 YES, SWEDISH OF COURSE.
     MMMMMMM.....
 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MORE? I COULD GET SOME FROM THE KITCHEN.
     ARGHHHH!!!!!
 OH DEAR, I GUESS YOU'VE NEVER MET MY ROTTWEILER BEFORE. SAY
            HELLO, CRUSHER, SAY HELLO!
     HELP ME!!!! MY BRAIN, OHH MY BRAIN!
 DOES YOUR BRAIN HURT? I KNOW A SPECIALIST DOWN THE STREET. DR.
            GUMBY, HE IS.

 LOL!

     DID YOU COOK THE MEATBALLS?
 NO, THEY WERE CATERED BY "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT SWEDISH
            MEATBALLS!"
     ARGHHHH!! MOOOOOOO!!

  LOL!

 OH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS YOUR FATHER!
            YOU OLD COW YOU!
     SNORT!
 I FEEL TERRI-BULL! GUESS I'D BETTER MOVE THE RED TABLECLOTH...

  What's the cow's problem, Emile?

 I'M SORRY, I'M NOT USED TO HAVING A COW BEING SLAUGHTERED IN MY
            HOUSE. USUALLY, I DO IT AT WORK...
     GRASS, I NEED GRASS! GOT SOME GRASS? E+MC2....
 SORRY, BUT MAY I SUGGEST COW DRUG REHAB. IT'S JUST TWO DOORS
            DOWN.

  No...this problem was a problem in England...UK, if you will!

 YOU KNOW, I HAVE A DOCTOR WHO TREATS MAD COW DISEASE.

  Woohoo!
      Yes! Very good Tim!

* Will flies in through the door, jingling.

 GO BACK TO NEVER-NEVER, TINKERBELL!!
      I HOPE THAT OLD LADY OUT THERE ISN'T ONE OF YOUR RELATIVES. I
            THINK I HIT HER PRETTY HARD. PRETTY EMPTY HERE, EH?
 NO, THAT WAS MY NEIGHBOUR BERNICE. SHE ALWAYS SITS THERE ON THE
            LAWN. SHE'S PRACTICING FOR A CAREER AS A LAWN ORNAMENT.
      THAT'S GOOD, I GET TIRED OF BEING AROUND ALL THOSE OTHERS WHERE
            I LIVE. THOSE 7 OTHERS REALLY ANNOY ME. WELL, 8 COUNTING THAT
            JERK!
 WOULD YOU LIKE A SNACK OF SOME KIND?
      OAT FLAVORED TWIGLETS PERHAPS?
 YOU MEAN GANGLY?
      NO NOT HIM. JUST BECAUSE I SHOVED A SNOWBALL UP HIS NOSE, HE
            THINKS HE'S ALL SPECIAL! AND NOW BECAUSE THE DANG THING GLOWS,
            HE'S FAMOUS! DOES HE EVER GIVE ME CREDIT FOR CAUSING HIS SINUS
            PROBLEMS? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

  LOL!

 WELL, YOU KNOW, RUDOLPH GETS THAT RED NOSE FROM DRINKING A
            LITTLE TOO MUCH REINDEER ALE.
      NO KIDDING, HE'S A JERK! ALL THE OTHERS ARE JERKS TOO! I SWEAR
            I'M GONNA SUE FOR BEING LAST IN THE SONG! WHAT A DISGRACE!
            ALMOST NO ONE REMEMBERS ME! AND BEING PAIRED WITH THAT DONNER
            JERK! HE DOESN'T KNOW HIS ANTLERS FROM A LIMB ON A TREE!
 WELL, HELP YOURSELF TO THE FOOD TRAY, BLITZEN.
      DON'T MIND IF I DO....

* Will exists.

 
  LOL!
  Yay!!
      Er...exits...
 Yay! this game lasted longer than 2 seconds! A new record for me!
 You exist, Will? Is this like a Karma thing?
       Very philosophical of you Will!
        Pretty good, guys :)
 Oh don't get into this existentialism junk! :)
      Hehe!
      Very good Will! :) Emile you were good too! :)

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Game:    Party Quirks
Players: BSherwood, DrewCarey, Mochrie, SFrost, TSlattery
Quirks:  BSherwood is a drunk footballer who wants to trash the party,
         DrewCarey is a gangsta rapper mourning the death of his pig
         "Squealer", Mochrie is someone obsessed with trivial things,
         and TSlattery is a leprechaun

    OH...I'M SO NERVOUS....WHAT AM I MISSING....OH YEAH....FOOD AND
            DRINK. DAMN. BUT I DO HAVE TWIGLETS...

* BSherwood -- knock knock!
* SFrost opens door.

    HELLO! COME ON IN!
 HEY WHERE'S THE BEER TANKER, I WANNA DIVE RIGHT IN!
    WHY RIGHT NEXT TO THE POOL TABLE..COME ON IN!

* BSherwood pinches Brocko's butt.

 HOW ABOUT IT, BABE?
    WHY YOU FRESH THING!! I SHOULD INVITE YOU MORE OFTEN!
 HAVE YOU EVER CRAPPED IN A PUNCHBOWL?
    NOT SINCE DECEMBER.

   Ewww!
   LOL!

* BSherwood pushes the couch over.
* TSlattery puts down her punch.
* Watcher is laughing.

 *DING DONG*

* SFrost opens door.

    HELLO!
 *DING DONG* AGAIN :) MAN.. MAN....SQUEALER..MAN... *looks up*
            WOMAN.. WOMAN.. WOMAN... SQUEALER... WAS... A GOOD PIG 'G'...
            HOMEY KNOCK DOWN THOSE TWIG THANGS LIKE A BEANSHOOTER WITH A
            APTITUDE...HE WAS THE BEST G!!!!!!!!!

* DrewCarey sniffles.

    WHY IT'S BEEN FOREVER SINCE I'VE HAD A GANGSTA RAPPER HERE!
 HEY YOU... I WANT TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU!
    CALM DOWM DEAR!! I HATE YOUR POSSESSIVE STREAK!

* BSherwood punches Drew in the gut.
* Watcher loves this!

 MAN.. *looks up* WOM---A-- FOR SQUEALER!!!

* DrewCarey falls down, in the doorway.
* DrewCarey is unconscious. :)
* BSherwood throws the dip at a wall.
* DrewCarey gets thrown at the wall.

    GATECRASHING AGAIN?
 AGEDRIAN!!!!!!
 HEY LETS BRIGHTEN UP THIS PLACE, I'LL SPRAY KETCHUP ON THE
            CURTAINS!

* DrewCarey gets up.

 MAN, WE GOTTA MOURN SQUEALER....

* SFrost is lost.

 I JUST WANNA TRASH THIS PLACE (Big hint! :))
 GOTTA 'PLIMENTARY RAP 'G'.
    THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE! I'VE GOT A HOOLIGAN HERE! AND SNOOP
            DOGGY DOGG!

* BSherwood leaves.
* Mochrie rings the doorbell. And again. And again. And titters.
* SFrost opens the door.

   HI SAM!
    HI EMILE!
   I WAS JUST ADMIRING YOUR DOORBELL! DID YOU KNOW WHEN YOU PRESS
            IT IT MAKES A NOISE? 
    THAT'S THE WAY DOORBELLS WORK....
 SQUEALER, MAN YO G IN HOUSE, TWIGGLY TAIL IN THE MUD POOL OF
            DOUBT!

* DrewCarey falls down from migraines.

    DREW IS A RAPPER WITH A BRAIN TUMOUR...

   LOL!
 LOL!
 LOL. Close enough.

   DO YOU HAVE ANY SNACKS?
    I HAVE TWIGLETS....
   AREN'T THOSE THINGS THAT ARE ATTACHED TO A TREE? DID YOU KNOW A
            TREE IS A BIG BIG PLANT WITH LEAVES AND A TALL TRUNK...DID YOU
            KNOW A TRUNK IS THE NAME OF THE BACK OF A CAR, AND ALSO A BOX
            THAT HOLDS STUFF?
    ARE YOU...SYNONYM BOY? SO EMILE....HOW ARE YOU?
   I'M FINE SAM.
    I WAS AWARE OF THOSE THINGS.....

   LOL!

* Mochrie walks to the light switch, flips it on and off and on and off
  again, and titters.
* DrewCarey just sits on the floor...shaking...
* TSlattery rings bell.
* SFrost opens the door.
* TSlattery dashes into the room and hides.

    HELLO! HEY FLIP THE LIGHTS AGAIN....DISCO INFERNO!!
   ISN'T IT GREAT, YOU FLIP IT ON AND THE LIGHTS GO ON, YOU FLIP IT
            OFF AND THE LIGHTS GO OFF! ON! OFF! ON OFF! ON OFF!
    YOU'RE FASCINATED WITH TECHNOLOGY....
   SEE, WHEN YOU TURN IT ON, IT CREATES A CIRCUIT WHEREBY THE
            ELECTRICITY FLOWS THROUGH THE WIRE AND INTO THE BULB, THEREBY
            TURNING IT ON. AND WHEN YOU TURN IT OFF, THE OPPOSITE HAPPENS.
            GOSH, ISN'T IT FASCINATING?
    YOU'RE A SCIENTIST WHO MUST EXPLAIN HOW THINGS WORK...

 Close.........

    WHAT UP, JULES?
 YOU CAN'T CATCH ME, YOU LITTLE BUGGER! AND IF YOU DID, I'D NEVER
            TELL YOU WHERE IT WAS! 'FOLLOW THE RAINBOW' THEY SAY. BUT THE
            RAINBOW IS IN A CIRCLE! I'VE GOT 'EM FOOLED!
    YOU'RE NOT HIDING YOUR POT O' GOLD HERE YOU LEPRECHAUN YOU!

* TSlattery sits
* DrewCarey falls to his side.
* Mochrie looks at his feet as he walks and titters.

   ISN'T WALKING FASCINATING?
    EMILE....COME HERE.
   I MEAN, YOU MOVE ONE FOOT AND THEN THE OTHER, AND THAT GIVES YOU
            FORWARD MOMENTUM. AND IF YOU MOVE THEM THE OTHER WAY, THEY GIVE
            YOU BACKWARDS MOMENTUM.
    WHY MUST YOU EXPLAIN EVERYTHING?

* DrewCarey screams.

 SQUEALERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
    DREW....ARE YOU A GANGSTA INFORMANT....

 Hmmm... Should I tell u?
    Didn't I guess you already?
 Yeah.
 Then sit down, silly! Nice job for your first time, BTW
 What were u again drew?
 Oh thanks! :)  I was a Gangster mourning over the death of his
            pig, 'Squealer' The Rap Gangster type.
 A bit intricate, but sounds like a Colin quirk.
 Ah! :) Very good, very funny! :)

* Mochrie pours himself a glass of water.

   LOOK SAM! DID YOU KNOW WATER IS CLEAR! YOU CAN JUST SEE RIGHT
            THROUGH IT! ISN'T THAT COOL? AND IF IT GETS COOL ENOUGH, WATER
            TURNS INTO ICE!
    YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH MUNDANE FACTS!

   Sounds good to me! :)
 Yes! :)
        Yes!
 Wooohoooo.
 Well done Brocko :)
 Good Jobbie!
   Great game! :)
 Fun! :)
    Steve has never hosted a good party...I carried on that
            tradition with evening LAG.

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Game:    Party Quirks
Players: Mochrie, SFrost, SFry, TSlattery
Quirks:  Mochrie is SFry's high-school rival, SFrost is one of the Two
         Fat Ladies (a host of a cookery show), and TSlattery is Stephen
         Fry.

      WELL LET'S SEE I GOT EVERYTHING READY. OKAY, I HAVE THE OSCAR
            WILDE BOOKS AND MY VIDEO READY. HMM, DO I HAVE ENOUGH TWIGLETS
            TO GO AROUND?

* Mochrie rings the doorbell purposefully.
* SFry opens the door.
* Mochrie glares at Stephen and enters the house.

      HELLO, COLIN! HOW ARE YOU?
   BETTER THEN YOU, FRY!
      HEY!
   THANKS *SOOOOOOOO* MUCH FOR INVITING ME TO YOUR "PARTY".
      OH NO PROBLEM, DO YOU WANT ANY TWIGLETS?
   I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I CAME. I COULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING
            "BOWLING FOR DOLLARS". BUT NOOOOOOOO!
      WELL I DIDN'T FORCE YOU TO COME! 
   SURE, I'LL TRY ONE OF YOUR CRAPPY TWIGLETS.....WILL THAT MAKE
            YOU HAPPY?
      HEY, DON'T YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!
   I CAN TALK TO YOU ANY DAMN WAY I WANT. I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU
            FOR THIS!
      COLIN, YOU MUST HAVE A MAJOR GRUDGE AGAINST ME?

     Close!

* SFrost rings bell.
* SFry walks to the door and opens it.

      HELLO STEVE!
    HELLO!! HOW ARE YOU? OH DEAR...IS THAT ALL YOU'RE GOING TO BE
            SERVING?
      NO, I HAVE MORE IN THE KITCHEN.
    THIS WON'T DO AT ALL....WHERE'S YOUR KITCHEN?
      OVER THERE. 
    COME WITH ME...I'LL WHIP UP SOMETHING DELIGHTFUL....HAVE YOU GOT
            ANY LARD?

 LOL!
     LOL!

      YES.
    OH GOOD...I'LL JUST SET YOUR OVEN TO 350 DEGREES.
   LOOK AT YOU. I SHOULD HAVE HAD THIS HOUSE! I SHOULD HAVE HAD
            YOUR WIFE! I SHOULD HAVE HAD EVERYTHING YOU HAVE! THIS SHOULD
            ALL BE MINE!!!
      COLIN, QUIT BEING SO JEALOUS OF ME! AND STEVE YOU'RE A GREAT
            CHEF.

     Not quite!

   ALL BECAUSE YOU SUCKED UP TO MR. WEST! FIRST CLASS HONOURS MY
            ASS!

* SFry has no idea who Colin is!

    WHILE WE WERE AT COMMERCIAL, I CHOPPED THE VEGATABLES AND GOT
            THE CHICKEN FROM THE FRIDGE. DOESN'T THIS SMELL GOOD, LADIES
            AND GENTS?
      OH STEVE, YOU'RE EMERIL! COLIN, ARE YOU UPSET WITH ME BECAUSE
            I STOLE YOUR FAME?
   YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE A BIG HOT-SHOT DIDN'T YOU. ALL THE
            CHEERLEADERS ON YOUR ARMS...AND WHO DID I GET? THE CHESS TEAM!
            I'LL NEVER GET OVER IT!

        LOL Emile!
    Close enough.

      OR ANY COOKING SHOW HOST.

* SFrost goes and makes bubble and squeak.

        Yay!
       LOL!

* Mochrie gets a beer and guzzles it down.
* TSlattery rings the bell.
* SFry opens the door.

      WELCOME TONY!
 WELL, HELLO THERE! AH, I LOVE THIS MOVIE!
      COLIN, YOU MUST BE A HIGH SCHOOL ENEMY OF MINE!
   DAMN RIGHT!

* Mochrie storms the house in a huff.

     Great!
      Oh thank you!
    Come here..have some of this loevly broth.

* Mochrie hugs Mol....do you forgive me? ;-)
* TSlattery reminds everyone it's only a lovely game.

 PERHAPS...I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT NOMINATION...BUT MR. CARREY
            SURELY DID DESERVE ONE AS WELL, AND HE DIDN'T GET ONE...
      TONY! YOU'RE ME! OR STEPHEN FRY!
 ZOUNDS!

* TSlattery sits down at the Golden Globes.

      Well that was easy!
     OK! Great job Molly!
      Thanks!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Game:    Party Quirks
Players: GregP, Mochrie, SFry, Wayne 
Quirks:  GregP is a radio DJ, Mochrie is someone who speaks in haikus,
         and SFry is Bart Simpson.

    OK, WE HAVE TWIGLETS HERE AND SOME MUSIC AND SOME PUNCH, WHEN ARE
           MY GUESTS GOING TO GET HERE?

* GregP rings bell.
           
    (opens door) HI, COME ON IN!
    WELL, HEY THERE! IT'S THE NINE O-CLOCK HOUR AND WE ARE READY TO
           ROCK!
    YES WE ARE!

* GregP goes over to stereo.
          
    ARE YOU A ROCK AND ROLL SINGER?
    WE'RE GONNA SPIN SOME BRIAN SETZER FOR YOU THIS HOUR, FOLLOWED
           BY PRESIDENTS OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND HOT CHOCOLATE!
    ARE YOU A RADIO DJ?

    *BUZZ*

* GregP sits.
* Mochrie rings the doorbell.
* Wayne opens door.

    COME ON IN!
  HELLO THERE DAVID! THIS IS SUCH A GREAT PARTY! I'M SURE I'LL
           HAVE FUN!
    HAVE SOME TWIGLETS, I'M SURE YOU WILL TO.
  I LOVE THOSE TWIGLETS! I KNOW I CAN'T GET ENOUGH, OF THOSE
           TWIGLETS!
    DID YOU HAVE SOME COFFEE ON YOUR WAY OVER?
  I DON'T DRINK COFFEE. CAFFEINE IS NOT GOOD FOR YOU. MAKES YOU
           STAY UP LATE.
    OK, I KNOW...
  LOOK AT ME DAVID. LOOK AT THE WORDS I AM SPEAKING. I MEAN REALLY
           LOOK! :)
    OK, WHEN IS MY NEXT GUEST COMMING? (HINT HINT)

* SFry rings doorbell.
* Wayne opens door.
          
  OH THERE'S ANOTHER GUEST? ANOTHER PERSON TO TALK TO? OH GREAT
           JOY OF JOYS!
    COME IN !

  Damn!! I'm not doing it right!!!
          
     HELLO, WAYNE.  
    YOU'RE HYPER MOCHRIE! HEY PUT THAT DOWN!
  I'M SORRY, DAVID. I'M NOT A REAL GOOD GUEST. I ONLY SPEAK CRAP! :)
    HEY YOU ONLY SPEEK CRAP?
     OH I HAD TO GET AWAY MY SISTERS WERE REALLY GETTING BOTHERSOME!
  YES THAT IS SO TRUE, I DON'T KNOW WHY I SPEAK SO, IT'S REALLY A
           PAIN.....
    ARE YOU SOME KIND OF KID?
  I AM BUT A BOY, A SIMPLE BOY OUT OF TIME, A BOY NOT LIKE YOU....
     WELL LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FRIEND, MILHOUSE.
    OH YOU'RE BART SIMPSON!

     Yup!
            
* SFry leaves.
           
  THE DEER AND THE DOE - THEY LEAP OVER THE TREE STUMP, DEEP IN
           THE FOREST....DO YOU UNDERSTAND - LOOK AT WHAT I AM SAYING - IN
           IT IS A CLUE! :)

     :)
    We can always count on your words, Emile!

  YEA, I AM NOT ME - AND YOU ARE NOT YOU EITHER, WE ARE OUT OF TIME.
    ARE YOU SOME KIND OF LUNITIC?
  I SIT IN THE ROOM - READING POETRY ALL DAY - JAPANESE POEMS.
    I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!
           
    Emile - that was a high coo!
           
  THERE IS A CLUE THERE - IN THE LAST THING I'VE SPOKEN, IT IS A
           HAIKU!
  :)
           
  I'm guessing you don't know what a haiku is, eh David?
      Wow, that was hard Emile
     Emile you could have been John Sessions :)
    Nope.
  And I messed up several times! :)
      I know what a Haiku is and it never occurred to me :)
    I would have gotten that in 3 seconds
 Stephen loses all his points for being too polite as Bart! ;-)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Game:    Party Quirks
Players: Denny, GaryGary, McShaneM, Meskimen, Mochrie, SFry
Quirks:  Denny can't stop quoting WLiiA, McShaneM mentions tv show titles
         in every sentence, Meskimen thinks he and Donna are the last two
         people on earth, Mochrie is a rap artist, and SFry is a fan of
         80's music.         

 WELL, I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS COME AS YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER
           FROM THE SECRET LIVES OF MEN PARTY. WHERE'S MY FIRST GUEST?

* Denny rings bell.

 THERE YOU ARE! COME IN!
    EVER BEEN TO SAN FRANCISCO?
 WELL, NOT RECENTLY. TOO HILLY FOR ME.
    THAT'LL NEVER GO OUT, WILL IT?  I'M DICK, CALL ME DICK.
 ARE YOU SOMEONE WHO CAN'T STOP QUOTING WL?

* Denny sits down!

    BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
 Great :-)
 Yay!
    That was fun while it lasted!
    LOL!
     LOL!

 
 OH SHE LEFT EARLY. I WONDER IF IT WAS ME.

  Hehe!

 OH GOOD. HERE'S SOMEONE ELSE. COME IN!
 HEY!  GLAD TO BE HERE, I'M LOOKING TO HAVE SOME GOOD TIMES
           TONIGHT!
 WELL, I DON'T SEE THAT HAPPENING SINCE IT'S YOU!

 LOL!
     :)
  Hehe!

 HA HA, I CAN SEE THIS IS GOING TO BE A REAL LAUGH-IN TONIGHT!
 OK, SOCK IT TO ME!
 IS BENSON HERE YET?
 ARE YOU SOMEONE WHO MENTIONS AN OLD TV SHOW IN EVERY SENTENCE?
 THAT'S INCREDIBLE!

    BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
  You got it, Lassie! ;-)

 OK HOW COOL! NOW LEAVE

* Meskimen rings doorbell.

 GOODNESS, I HOPE SOME MORE INTERESTING GUESTS ARRIVE. THAT LAST
           ONE WAS SUCH A BORE. HI! WELCOME!

     LOL!
 HI! I BROUGHT THE CANNED GOODS...

 Hehehe!
    Yep!

 OH WELL OPEN THEM UP AND PUT THEM BY THE TWIGLETS! (Obligatory
           twiglet reference!)
 OKAY. SORRY, THIS WAS ALL I COULD FIND. AT LEAST THEY WON'T BE
           MAKING ANY MORE TWIGLETS...
 ER UM, ARE YOU A REALLY BAD PARTY GUEST? TELL ME MORE :)
 SO... HEH HEH... YOU ALWAYS SAID YOU'D GO OUT WITH ME IF THIS
           EVER HAPPENED!

 LOL!

 OH IS IT THE END OF THE WORLD? A PARTY AFTER THE BOMB DROPPED?
           AND NO, I STILL WON'T GO OUT WITH YOU ;)

    BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

* Meskimen SITS DOWN

 BETTER LUCK AFTER THE NEXT END OF THE WORLD PARTY!
  
 OOO, MORE PEOPLE! HI!
  HEY DONNA, HEY HEY DONNA!
 WELL AREN'T YOU FRIENDLY?
  I'D LIKE TO SAY, I'M GLAD TO BE HERE, THIS PARTY'S PHAT, AND I'VE
           BROUGHT THE BEER! GOT SOME SNACKS, CAUSE THEY'D BE ILLIN', GROOVE
           WITH ME BY THE FIRE, CAUSE I'M SO CHILLIN'....
 AREN'T YOU THAT FAMOUS RAPPER?

    BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
 Oh, I was worried for a minute there :)
  That was too easy! A wicki wicki wicki wick!
 LOL!

* Mochrie raps into the sunset.
* SFry knocks on the door.

 WOW THIS PARTY IS WINDING DOWN! LOOK SOMEONE WHO HAS ARRIVED
           FASHIONABLY LATE.
     HELLO THERE.  OH WOW, I SEE YOU LIKE TALK TALK.
 GOOD CONVERSATION IS A DYING ART.
     OH WOW! YOU HAVE DURAN DURAN, THEY'RE REALLY WONDERFUL.
 HMM, ARE YOU AWARE THAT YOU ARE REPEATING YOURSELF IN EVERY
           SENTENCE?
     DO YOU LIKE MY NEW T-SHIRT, IT HAS BANANARMA, ONE OF MY FAVORITE
           FEMALE GROUPS.

    You are right there, but that is not her quirk.

     I JUST SAW THE HUMAN LEAGUE AND GARY NUMAN IN CONCERT.
 YOU LIKE GROUPS WITH DOUBLE NAMES?

     Nope!

 YOU ARE A FAN OF 80S MUSIC?

    BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
  
     Hehehehe!
 WOO!
    Great game Donna!
  Good hosting Donna!
     That was good!
 OK, that was hard!
 V. well done, Donna!
 But it was fun!
 You did well, Donna
 You were too abusive :-) No wonder everyone left!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Game:    Party Quirks
Players: Bremner, EmileJ, Jeffy, Katherine, Ryan
Quirks:  Bremner is obsessed with germs, EmileJ thinks the host is trying
         to kill him, Jeffy works at an amusement park, and Katherine is
         a flirty saleswoman.

      HMMM.... I GOT TWIGLETS AND CHIPS. BETTER GET SOME DRINKS.

* Ryan looks for good music

      DOES ANYONE KNOW ANY GOOD MUSIC? OH WAIT I'M THE ONLY ONE HERE.
   

* Ryan opens door.

      HI BREM!
   HI, DAVID, NICE PARTY YOU GOT HERE, WHERE ARE THE TWIGLETS?
      RIGHT HERE  WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COKE?
   OH, GET YOUR HANDS OFF THOSE THINGS! YOUR HANDS ARE CRAWLING
            WITH THEM! OH NO, I HEAR THAT COKE COMES FROM THE SEWER! I HOPE
            YOU WASHED THE TWIGLETS!
      ARE YOU A CLEAN FREAK?
   YES!
    

* Ryan opens door.

      HI EMILE!
    HI RY......WHAT'RE YA LOOKIN' AT ME LIKE THAT FOR?
      I'M NOT! COME ON IN!
    YOU GOT ANY SNACKS?
      YEP. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TWIGLETS?

* EmileJ takes a twiglet daintily and looks at it.

    THANKS RYA......WAAAAAIT A MINUTE!!
      WHAT?
    I'M NOT FALLING FOR THIS. I CAN SEE THIS COMING A MILE AWAY! YOU
            THINK I'M GONNA EAT THIS TWIGLET? YOU CAN THINK AGAIN!

* EmileJ takes the twiglet and hurls it across the room.
           
     

* Ryan opens door.
* EmileJ approaches Jeffy.

     HEY RYAN!  OH GOOD. YOU'RE THE RIGHT HEIGHT.
     CALL 911! CALL 911!
      DO YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO KILL YOU?
    YES!!!

* EmileJ runs out the door in a panic

      RIGHT HEIGHT FOR WHAT?
     GREAT PARTY. MAKE SURE YOU'RE STRAPPED IN PROPERLY. ARE THOSE
            TWIGLETS?
      DO YOU WORK AT AN AMUSEMENT PARK? ON THE ROLLER COASTER?
     YES!!!
 

* Ryan opens door.

      HI KATHERINE!
 HI!! WOW, YOU'RE SO, TALL, AND...WOW!
      WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TWIGLETS?
 SURE! HERE, THIS COAT WOULD LOOK *SO* GOOD ON YOU!
      WOULD YOU LIKE A COKE?
 SURE! THANK *YOU*!
      DO YOU WORK AT A CLOTHING STORE? CLOTHES FITTER?

 Is that close enough?
   Let's keep going with it.
    There's a bit more to it.
     Yeah.

 OH, YOU'RE SO SMART! I LOVE THE WAY YOU THINK! MAYBE THIS
            DICTIONARY WOULD BE BETTER FOR YOU!

* Katherine drapes herself across Ryan.
* Katherine hugs him as she gets out the dictionary behind his back.
* Ryan doesn't want to know / is she in love with me?

   Not quite, David

* Ryan is really stumped.

 WELL, MY BOYFRIEND HAS ONE JUST LIKE IT! OR IS THAT MY OTHER
            BOYFRIEND?

* Katherine giggles

   Let's make him pull a Tony!
     What..split his pants?
    No, swear at Clive :)
      @#$%$@#%%#!%$#!#%#$#!!$#%^%

* Katherine bats her eyelashes, and gets out something else

      FLIRTING WITH ME?
 YES!!

     Yay!!
    Woo!!
   Yes!
      Nice quirk Katherine!
 I didn't come up with it, actually.
      I congragulate whoever did.

* Bremner came up with it!

    Great job David :) And very good Katherine!
      Nice quirk Brem!
   He guessed our quirks!
 Thanks, Emile.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Game:    Party Quirks
Players: D_Siegel, Julian, Mochrie, Wayne
Quirks:  D_Siegel is a nervous tennis player, Julian is a person with a
         bad cell phone connection, and Mochrie is a bus driver.

    OK, GOT LOTS OF GUESTS COMING - OOOPS I FORGOT THE FOOD AND
           DRINKS, THIS SHOULD BE VERY DULL. I WONDER WHEN MY GUESTS WILL
           BE COMING.

* D_Siegel rings and then realizes there's no bell.

  Hehe!

    HI DENNY!
 OHMIGOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALREADY GOT MY FIRST ROUND DRAW, AND
           OH HI!
    WANT SOME DRIN... WAIT OR SOME FOO... WAIT WE HAVE NOTHING
 OK, DO I HAVE EVERYTHING? RAQUET, FANCY PANTS, AND...MY LUCKY
           TWIGLET! (I NEVER PLAY W/O IT!)
    TENNIS PLAYER?

 What do we say? Take it?
   Great job, Locknestra! You too, David!
 Way to go david!

* Julian rings non-existent bell.
* Wayne opens door.

    HI JULIAN!
   HEY WAYNE, HOW'S IT BUZZZZZZZZ.....SORRY..TUNNEL.

 LOL

    WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT DOWN?
   WHAT....I COULDN'T...BUZZZZZZZZ..YOU WAIT TILL I GET ON TOP OF
           THE TABLE...

* Wayne is really stumped.

    CLIVE?
   CLIVE'S NOT BUZZZZZZZ HERE...UHOH...ANOTHER TUNNEL....BUZZZZZ
    ON TOP OF A TRAIN?

 Close!

   IT'S GOING TO RAIN?? NOT WHERE I AM....BUZZZZZ...
    CLIVE ON TOP OF A TRAIN?

   Emile, maybe you were right.
  Hehe!

    I SHOULD HAVE ANOTHER GUEST SOON 

* Mochrie knocks on the door, and surprisingly, the doorbell rings.

 LOL!
   BUZZZZZZ...DAMN THIS PAY AS YOU GO...
    ON TOP OF A SUBWAY?
   I HAVE TO GO TO A RADIO SHACK SOON....BUZZZZZ ...TO RECHARGE.

* Mochrie knocks on the door a second time, and the sound of a shriek is
  heard.
* Wayne opens door.

    HI COLIN
  GOOD DAY, MR. BRADY.

* Mochrie walks to the chair, and sits down.

  I BELIEVE YOU OWE ME $1.50, MR. BRADY. IT MUST BE IN EXACT CHANGE.

* Wayne pulls out wallet.

   PLEASE SIR, IF YOU'RE GOING TO SMOKE, PLEASE STEP TO
           THE REAR.

 LOL!

   ....BUZZZZZ.....SORRY, I DON'T DRINK COKE....BUZZZ
    YOU TAKE MONEY ON A TRAIN? I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY WITH ME RIGHT
           NOW.
  THEN I'LL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO THROW YOU OFF AT THE NEXT STOP.
           NEXT DESTINATIONS: THE DINING ROOM, THE KITCHEN, THE BEDROOM, THE
           BATHROOM...
   WELL..AT LEAST I CAN...CALL...BUZZZZ...SOMEONE VERY EASILY!!!
    DO YOU TAKE MONEY ON A TRAIN, EMILE?
   SIR, WOULD YOU MIND MOVING TO THE SEAT NEXT TO
           YOU, THIS ONE IS FOR THE PHYSICALLY CHALLENGED. NOW LOOK, MR.
           BRADY, IF YOU WANT TO GET TO THE ATTIC, YOU'LL NEED TO GET A
           TRANSFER, AND THEN TAKE THE 11:45 FROM THE BEDROOM. THAT'S THE #5
           IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN.
    A CONDUCTER?
   BUT...BUZZZ....I'M MENTALLY CHALLENGED.

 LOL!

    BUS DRIVER? (EMILE)

* D_Siegel claps wildly!

  Yes David! :) 
   Have you the slightest idea for me?
    Now Jeffy.not a clue
   Emile? Continue or reveal?
 Hmmmm, he's kinda close!
  I think he's suffered enough :)
 OK! Go for it!
    What are you?
   Person with a bad cell phone connection.
    Good one!
 it's kinda a hard one!
    Now I get it!
   Maybe if I added action it would have been easier
  You did very well David :)
   Yes you did :-)
 Way to go!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Game:    Party Quirks
Players: Bremner, D_Siegel, JoeIsham, Meskimen, Mochrie, MsBrady, Proopsie
Quirks:  Bremner is an American political candidate, JoeIsham is a health
         inspector, Meskimen is everyone in IRC at the moment (nearly),
         Mochrie is the Two Fat Ladies, MsBrady is auditioning for a
         commercial, and Proopsie thinks it is a Xena convention

 OH MY OH MY!  SO MANY GUESTS SO LITTLE TIME, OK, JEFF PIE
           CATAPULT AIMED AND READY, LETS SEE, LISA'S CHANGING SCREEN W/JOE
           COSTUME, EMILE'S DEALING TABLE WET BAR, TWIGLETS, I SHOULD BE ALL
           READY!!! HOPE I HEAR A DOOR BELL SOON! =)

  ROTFL!

 ANYTIME NOW! =)
  *DING DONG*

* D_Siegel opens door.

  HELLO, YOUNG AMERICAN!
 YES, PLEASE SIT DOWN!
  HERE, HAVE A BUTTON. WHERE'S YOUR BABY? I WANT TO KISS IT FOR A
           NEWSPAPER PHOTO.

* Bremner plasters Linz's living room with signs.

 I'M SORRY MR.POLITION, BUT THIS IS NOT A PHOTO OP!
  AND I WANT TO SHOW YOU, THE YOUNG AMERICANS, THAT THIS COUNTRY
           NEEDS STRONG LEADERSHIP!
 YES I SAW YOU ON CNN, THE CLINTON NEWS NETWORK! 

* Bremner stands up on Linz's dining room table.

  NOW LET ME KISS THAT BABY! COME ON, WHERE IS HE? I NEED THE
           POINTS...
 UM, BE CAREFUL! IT COULD BREAK ANY SECOND!
 *DING DONG*

* D_Siegel opens door.

 *POUND POUND POUND* GOOD EVENING! MAY I COME IN?
 YES JOE! PLEASE DO!
 THANK YOU! OH, I SEE YOU HAVE TWIGLETS!
  HELLO, GOOD CITIZEN. LET ME SHAKE YOUR HAND FOR ANOTHER PHOTO.

* Bremner gets up on the table again.

  AND AS FOR TWIGLETS, AMERICA NEEDS MORE TWIGLET-FUNDED PUBLIC
           EDUCATION!!
 UM, SIR, NOT NEAR THE CHEESE, PLEASE
 UH, JOE HAVE YOU MET MR GORE?
 *DING DONG*

* JoeIsham feels D_Siegel'S forehead.
* D_Siegel opens door.

 YOU JUST LIKE USING YOUR HANDS JOE?
 HI LINZ. THE TRAFFIC OUTSIDE IS TERRIBLE!
 REALLY? HOW BAD IS IT?
 VERY, VERY BAD. ALMOST AS BAD AS MY FRENCH!
 YOU'VE COME AS JOE!!

* Bremner turns red in the face.

 WHERE'S THE POUTINE?
 AS IRC WHOSERS?
 I'M SORRY, I'VE HAD TO CONFISCATE THE POUTINE.
 NEVER MIND, I BROUGHT THE GAMES. HERE'S THE CARDS, THE DICE...  
 THE WHOSERS IN GAMES?  (UNTIL EM LEFT!)

 Drat!
  He never got to do me! :P

 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE THE TWIGLETS AS WELL. HERE'S A FORM FOR
           YOU TO SIGN.
 YOU'RE A SNACK FOOD TAX GUY . . .?
 AND YOU'LL HAVE TO PROVE YOU'VE REPAIRED THE REFRIGERATION, TOO.
 WHO ARE YOU?!?!?
 THANK GOODNESS THERE WERE NO ROACHES IN THE KITCHEN, OR I WOULD
           HAVE HAD TO SHUT YOUR PARTY DOWN.
 YOU'VE COME AS A GIT?????
 NOW...(looking at bare table)...I THINK I HAVE EVERYTHING.
 YOU'RE A INSPECTOR OF SOME SORT? ABC CENSOR?
 I THINK I GOT THE POUTINE JUST IN TIME, OR THE POLITICIAN WOULD
           HAVE GOTTEN ILL!

 A specific inspector-type?
 Getting warmer. Scroll back and think about it
 Joe, I need huge clue, for I have none because I am clueless =)

 OH NO! A ROACH! THAT'S A VIOLATION FOR SURE!
 FOOD AND DRUG ADMIN GUY?

 Close enough! Health inspector.

 SO I JUST NEED MORE GUESTS NOW! =)
 *DING DONG*

* D_Siegel opens door.

 HI!
  GREETINGS DENNY. WHAT A LOVELY, WARM WELCOME!
 THANKS! WANT A TWIGLET?
  I SAY, HAVE YOU NO FOOD OR DRINKS HERE? I SEE NONE ON THE TABLE!
 UM, JOE TOOK EM...UM, BUT PLEASE SIT DOWN AND CHAT!
  I HAVE A SPLENDID IDEA. I CAN ASSIST YOU IN MAKING SOME MORE
           DAINTY SNACKS FOR YOUR PARTY!
 ARE YOU MR. SESSIONS?
  BE A DEAR AND FETCH ME SOME LARD AND SOME THICK DOUBLE CREAM? WE
           CAN MAKE SOME SPLENDID MORSELS, VERY TASTY THEY ARE.
 NO. I JUST CALL EVERYONE THAT!  UM, WHIPPING OR HALF AND HALF?
  WAIT...WE NEED SOME FLOUR. LET US GO DOWN TO THE MILL AND GET SOME
           OURSELVES. YOU CAN HOP ON MY MOTORBIKE! JUST SQUEEZE INTO THE
           SIDECAR WITH CLARISSA.
 ARE YOU PAUL?

 Can you tell I'm confused? =)
  Just pull a Tony and say "well f--- off!"

  SILLY GIRL, OF COURSE NOT! *BEGINS SINGING IN RICH BARITONE
           OPERATIC VOICE* I SAY! YOU MUST TRY SOME BUBBLE AND SQUEAK. WE
           CAN ZIP AROUND TO MY FRIEND'S GARDEN, WHERE WE CAN CHOOSE AN
           ASSORTMENT OF GREENS THAT WILL BE MORE THAN ADEQUATE! TURNIP TOPS
           ARE ESPECIALLY DELICIOUS! ARE YOU COMFY IN THE SIDECAR, DEAR?
           SNUG AS A BUG IN A RUG?
 UH YES, BUT SHOULDN'T I BE AT HOME? WHAT IF SOMEONE COMES?
  WELL, WE'VE GOT WHAT WE NEED ANYWAY, LET'S WEND OUR WAY BACK NOW.

* Mochrie drives the motorbike back to Denny's residence.

 ARE YOU SOME BRIT ASSOSIATED W/WL?
  I SAY, I DO ENJOY THAT SHOW. DO YOU, CLARISSA? I CERTAINLY DO,
           JENNIFER!
 NEIGHBORS?
  WE EVEN APPEARED ON CLIVE ANDERSON'S SHOW!
 FRY AND LAURIE?

  They didn't mention painted-on eyebrows...

  CERTAINLY NOT! WE'RE FUN, WE'RE FAT, AND WE'RE FEMALE!
 2 FAT LADIES COOKING SHOW?

  You got it!
  Cool!
 Oy!

* Mochrie dashes off with Clarissa in search of more lard.

  *DING DONG!*

* D_Siegel opens door.

 PLEASE COME IN! IF YOU DARE!
  IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU...I THINK I'M READY TO BEGIN.
 THEN GO AHEAD . . .

* MsBrady clears throat.

  TWIGLETS - A PARTY JUST ISN'T A PARTY WITHOUT THEM!
 YOU'RE IN AN ADVERT?
  WONDER IF THAT WAS ENTHUSIASTIC ENOUGH...

  Close...
  That was quick! :) Not all the way though.

 CHEERLEADING TRYOUTS ARE NEXT WEEK! ... TRYOUTS FOR MY COMMERCIAL
           ARE NEXT WEEK!

  That'll work! :)
 =) Ay yi yi!

 *DING DONG*

* D_Siegel opens door.
* Proopsie somersaults thru the door, but trips horribly.

 HI! YOU OK?
 HEY, IS ADMISSION FEE HALF OFF CUZ I CAME DRESSED UP?
 UM, I'M NOT CHARGING, SO YEAH, FOR YOU $20. ACCIDENT PRONE
           GYMNAST?
 GREAT!! LIKE THE LEATHER BUSTIER? I'M HOPING TO GET LUCY LAWLESS
           TO SIGN IT FOR ME!!
 XENA WANNABE? AT A XENA CON?
 OOOH! HAS ANYONE BID ON THE LEATHER BOOTS YET? XENA AUCTION?

 *ding ding ding* :) You got it! :)
 Yay!
  Way to go Linz!
 Oy! that is much more stressful online!!
 LOL! That was fun! :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Game:    Party Quirks
Players: BE3T, Bremner, JenGurl, JoeIsham, Meskimen, PartyHost
Quirks:  BE3T is a policeman who takes bribes, Bremner is a Sim, JenGirl
         is a nymphomaniac, JoeIsham is a donkey and Meskimen is Gilligan.
         
 OH DEAR, I'M TERRIBLY NERVOUS...I'VE NEVER ORGANIZED AN "ON A
            STICK" PARTY...LET'S SEE SOME TWIGLETS ON A STICK, JALAPENO
            PEPPERS ON A STICK...A JAR OF ALMONDS....ON A STICK...BEER AND
            WINE...ON A STICK.....ALL I NEED ARE SOME GUESTS ON A STICK, AND
            I'LL BE READY.

 *DOORBELL* BE3T.

 COME IN, COME IN! WELCOME! WELCOME TO MY PARTY BE3T. HELP
            YOURSELF TO MY SNACKS ON A STICK.
      HERE I AM, WITH MY STICK! LET'S SEE...............HMMMMMMMM,
            LOOKS FAIR, SNACKS, DRINKS....ARE THESE *LEGAL* BEVERAGES?????
 UM..I CHECKED WITH THE LIQUOR BOARD ON A STICK, THEY ARE ALL
            LEGAL.
      PERMITS? DRINK PERMITS, PLEASE?

* BE3T slides up to the host.........

 OH, YOU'RE FRESH AREN'T YOU? :)
      CAUSE I *COULD* GET YOU IN SOME TROUBLE WITH THIS LIQUOR HERE...
 ARE YOU A HEALTH INSPECTOR?
      COULD, YES I *COULD*........

* BE3T fidgets with her pocket

 HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT POCKET...
      OH! THAT'S ASSAULT, THAT IS, I COULD GET YOU FOR THAT!
 ARE YOU LOOKING TO ARREST ME FOR PETTY LITTLE THINGS?

 *DOORBELL* Bremner.

 AH, ANOTHER GUEST IS HERE, EXCUSE ME.
   HALLO! I'M HERE TO BOOST YOUR RELATIONSHIP SCORE!
 WELCOME EVAN! COME RIGHT IN!
   MAY I TELL YOU A JOKE?
 FINE. HUMOUR ME.
   KAP LADA SHNIMAR ES CHOODUM RAH ENEME TOMELE KI! HA HA HA!
      WAIT, WAIT, WAIT......WAY TOO LOUD IN HERE, DISTURBING THE PEACE!
   SHOULD I CALL THE ROOMIES AND INVITE THEM OVER?
 THAT'S SO FUNNY....I HEARD THE EXACT SAME THING IN A BAR LAST
            NIGHT...OR WAS IT AT THE FRATERNITY?
   FRATERNITY? NONE OF THOSE ON MY STREET...THOUGH ALL THE GIRLS AT
            THE NEWBIES' HOUSE...

* BE3T comes up to the host and rubs her palm in his direction....

      I *COULD* FORGET ALL ABOUT IT THOUGH.....
 I DON'T TAKE BRIBES, BE3T.

      Woooooooooooo!
 *BUZZZZZ*
  Good job, Be3t!
 Well done, policeman who takes bribes, that'll do. :)

* Bremner tries to kiss the host, but sees that he doesn't have the little
  heart by his name.

 SORRY YOU CAN'T STAY TOO LONG EV, I KNOW YOU HAVE TO GET GOING
            BACK TO YOUR LITTLE SIM WORLD.

 *BUZZZZ* Yep, good work. :)
   Got it!
 *DOORBELL* JenGurl.

 COME ON IN JEN! HELP YOURSELF TO THE SNACKS.
   HEY THERE SUGAR.....THOSE STICK SNACKS ARE GIVING ME SOME NASTY
            IDEAS...
 HEY, A LITTLE INNUENDO'S A GOOD THING. DID YOU KNOW ALMONDS ARE
            AN AFRODISIAC?
   LOOKS AS THO WE ARE THE ONLY ONES LEFT. HHMMMMMM...WHY DON'T YOU
            INVITE SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS BACK.

 *DOORBELL* JoeIsham.

   ALRIGHT....
 I THINK IT'S TIME FOR MORE GUESTS. COME ON IN JOE!
  EEEEVENING, EMIIIIIILE!
   HELLO...JOE.
 OH I'M SO EXCITED TO BE ON YOUR GAME SHOW JOE!!

 *nope*

* JenGurl twirls Joe's hair.

  EEEEEEVENING! WOULD YOU MIND HELPIIIING MEEEEE LOOSEN MY CART?

* Meskimen is dying laughing at this scene!

   I'LL LOOSEN YOUR CART BABY... WINK.
  GOT A CARROT?

  ROTFLMAO!!!
 LMAO!

   ALWAYS CARRY ONE...MIND IF A MIGHT?
 HEY! I THOUGHT I WAS THE HOST HERE! :)
  HEEEEEEERE, PUT IT AT THE END OF THIS STICK...
   I MEAN BITE. YOU CAN WATCH...
  YOU COULD REEEEEEEALLY LEEEEEEEAD MEEEEEE ON
 JEN, YOU VOYEUR YOU.
   IS I GETTING HOT IN HERE?

 Not quite Emile. *DOORBELL* Meskimen.

 I'M GONNA BE OUT HERE FOR WEEKS....COME ON IN JIM!
  UH OH, LOOKS LIKE I BROKE YOUR DOORBELL! I'M SORRY!
 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, IT'S IT'S TIME OF THE MONTH.
   ANOTHER MAN?  MY LUCKY NIGHT....HI JIM....SHALL WE SHAG NOW OR
            SHAG LATER?
 ARE YOU TRYING TO SEDUCE EVERY GUY AT THIS PARTY JEN?
   YOU'RE CATCHING ON....SO?

 *BUZZZZ* That'll do - nymphomaniac. :)
   LOL! Phew!

  I'M NOT WORRIED, I KNOW A GUY WHO CAN FIX IT. HE CAN FIX *ALMOST*
            ANYTHING!
 SURELY YOU DON'T MEAN TIM THE TOOLMAN TAYLOR?
  SHEEEEEEE WAS ABOUT TO FEEEEEEEED ME A SUGAR CUBE...

* Clive_And is corpsing at Joe.

 YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS, AREN'T YOU JOE? :)
  I'D BETTER BEEEEEEEEE GOING...

* PartyHost pins the tail on Eeyore.

  OUCH!

 LOL! *BUZZZZZZ* Well done, Joe was typecast there... :)

  A SUGAR CUBE??? FOOD!!! I HAVEN'T SEEN SO MUCH FOOD IN SO
            LONG!!! AND A RADIO! WATCH THIS...I'LL TURN ON THE RADIO AND THE
            NEWS WILL BE ALL ABOUT ME AND MY FRIENDS! IT ALWAYS HAPPENS THAT
            WAY! OOPS, I BROKE YOUR RADIO!!!
 GOOD GOD MAN, YOU'RE PRETTY ACCIDENT PRONE AREN'T YOU?
  PLEASE DON'T HIT ME WITH YOUR HAT, I HATE IT!

 *nope*

* PartyHost fiddles with his moustache.

 OLLIE, OLLIE, OLLIE, WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH YOU...
  DON'T WORRY, MY FRIEND CAN FIX YOUR RADIO... HE CAN FIX ANYTHING
            EXCEPT A BOAT...
 GILLIGAN!!!!!!!!!!!
  SKIPPER!!!!!

 *BUZZZZZZZZ* Well done Emile - all the points for getting the
            quirks, though i'm taking some away as you guessed JenGurl too
            quickly before she had to get her kit off :)

* PartyHost cracks open a bottle of champagne!

 WD!
   LOL!
 Well done Emile - those were tough
 Definitely! :)
 And Joe - your donkey was fantastic :)
   Heh heh!

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    Source: geocities.com/ejumean/IRCGames

               ( geocities.com/ejumean)