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WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
WLIIA Chat Games
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SCENES FROM A HAT
(Part One)
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Game: Scenes From A Hat
Players: Bremner, Clive, Dean, jk, Mochrie, SSteen
Scenes: Baby's first words, A day in Ottawa, Trapped in a computer game,
WLiiA? The Musical, Breakfast cereals that never caught on, The
next Godzilla movie, Stalking someone, Odd cereal prizes, Poutine
enthusiasts convention, Bad fortune cookies, Faux pas at a funeral.
* Clive shakes up the scenes in the hat.
LET'S START WITH "BABY'S FIRST WORDS".
I WANT TO WATCH WHOSE LINE!
MAMA, DADA, CLIVY!
BREAST!
LOL!
:)
LOL!
OKILY-DOKILY!
ME WANNA BE LIKE CLIVE!
TINKY WINKY WEIRDY!
OK MOM, LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT. YOUR MONEY BUYS ME NOT NEW
CLOTHES FOR YOU, BUT TOYS FOR ME. CAPEESH?
OK, NEXT IS "A DAY IN OTTAWA".
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.....
YOU WANNA SEE QUEBEC? GO TO HULL!!!
SHOULD WE GO TO TIM HORTONS OR TIM HORTONS?
I BLINKED AND MISSED THE EXCITEMENT!
LET'S SEE...LET'S GO TO SEE THE WONDERFUL CANADIAN GOVERNMENT!
HELLO, TOM GREEN.
LOL! OK, NEXT IS "TRAPPED IN A COMPUTER GAME".
HELP MARIO'S CHASING ME!!!
HELP! THE NET IS SPLITTING UNDER ME! HELP!!!
IF YOU DON'T GET ME OUT, YOU'LL BE SORRY....NO ONE WANTS TO SEE
'TELETUBBIES, THE COMPUTER GAME'!
LOL! HOW ABOUT "WLIIA? THE MUSICAL".
AWW, DO WE HAVE TO SING IT ALL IN HOEDOWN FORM?
WELCOME TO THE SHOW
WHERE THE POINTS DON'T MATTER
I'M DREW CAREY, THE HOST
AND DESPITE WHAT YOU THINK, I'M NOT GETTING FATTER.....
LOL!
HELLO MY NAME IS JOHN SESSIONS AND I'M HERE TO SING
A FOLK SONG FOR YOU.
MY NAME'S CLIVE A, I'M QUITE A SIGHT, NOW I'LL SAY GOOD NIGHT,
GOOD NIGHT!
AND NOW, COLIN DOES DINOSAUR LAKE!
MY NAME'S COLIN. I HAVE TO SING?
SING A SONG OF SECRET, A COLIN AND A RY...
LOL!
LOL!
I'M STEPHEN, AND I'M HERE TO DO A HOEDOWN FOR YOU.
THIS ONE IS GOOD..."BREAKFAST CEREALS THAT NEVER
CAUGHT ON".
COLON BLOW!
TRY NEW TONY SLATTERY'S NAUGHTY BITS!
LOL!
Oh Brem!
HAVE YOU TRIED THE DELICIOUS, NUTRITIOUS, SCRUM-DIDDLY-ICIOUS
PORK FLAKES?
TRY THE NEW AND IMPROVED JOSIE LAWRENCE FLAKES...IT MAKES YOU
SING WONDERFULLY.
IT'S BITS O' BRAD. GREAT WITH A HOT STUDMUFFIN AND MILK!
Oh, Ash would love that one!
NEW VOMIT FLAVOURED MUESLI!
Eww!! Yuck!
Ewwww!!!
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!
Okay, I'm getting sick!
TRY NEW MELTED WAX AND TEA!
IT'S HELPING HANDS CEREAL! NOW WITH 50% MORE BRIE AND PEANUTS!
HAVE YOU TRIED QUIK WITZ BEST BITS? GOES DOWN AND COMES BACK UP
AGAIN! GUARANTEED!
HOW ABOUT "THE NEXT GODZILLA MOVIE".
I'M HIS LITTLE BROTHER, MAGILLA GODZILLA!
OH NO!!! GODZILLA ATE JOHN SESSIONS.
LOLOL, I'll pay to see that one!
IT'S THE GODZILLA BUNCH!
IT'S RYAN AND COLIN, COME TO CHALLENGE GODZILLA TO A GAME OF
"NARRATE"!
GODZILLA VERSUS MOCHRIE: WHO'S THE *REAL* DINOSAUR?
LOL!
LOL!
LOL Emile!
GODZILLA MEETS HIS MATCH, AN 80-FOOT TALL STRIP OF BACON IN
"GODZILLA 2: JURASSIC PORK!"
(groans)
LOL! THOSE WERE GREAT, BUT HOW ABOUT "STALKING
SOMEONE".
HELP! THERE'S CORN FOLLOWING ME!
OH NO, JESSIE'S FOLLOWING ME!!!!
HI COLIN, WE'RE THE WHOSERS!
HELLO, WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY ON THESE L'EGGS PANTY HOSE? OH....
YOU DON'T MEAN "STOCKING" SOMEONE?
OH BRAD, MY NAME IS ASH!
HELLO MR. PARTRIDGE MY NAME IS MOLLY.
HI MR. FRY! I'M MOLLY!
Argh!
LOL! NEXT IS BACK TO CEREAL..."ODD CEREAL PRIZES".
......THING?
WOW! AN EXPERT TRANSLATION DECODER RING!
I NEVER EXPECTED TO FIND YOU IN MY CEREAL, EMILE!
JEREMY BEADLE?!
FREE INSIDE....THE BEST OF QUIK WITZ -- IT'S A BLANK TAPE!
Hey don't knock Quick Witz!
Sorry! :)
OH, THE NEW STEPHEN FRY READS HOEDOWNS CASSETTE!
WOW! FREE INSIDE... CELINE DION! "MOM, I CAN'T FIND THE PRIZE!"
WOW THIS IS A SMALL CARD, IT LISTS ALL THE WITTY REMARKS OF
ARCHIE HAHN.
FREE INSIDE: A DO IT YOURSELF WHOSE LINE SET, COMES WITH DAN
PATTERSON, SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED...
HEY THAT'S UNUSUAL, THE PRIZE IS A CEREAL THAT TASTES GOOD!
LOL! "POUTINE ENTHUSIASTS CONVENTION".
Let me guess....Brem's?
Yes!
Yep!
WHAT'S POUTINE?
HI BREM, WELCOME TO OUR CONVENTION! OH, AND YOU MUST BE BREM,
BREM, BREM, AND BREM!
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
DOWN WITH ENGLISH!!! UP WITH FRENCH!!!! (Sorry!)
* SSteen ducks the trout.
* Bremner shakes Molly's hand.
HOW ABOUT "BAD FORTUNE COOKIES".
"YOU WILL KILL YOUR FATHER, MARRY YOUR MOTHER, AND POKE YOUR
EYES OUT IN THEBES."
"YOU WILL HAVE A SUCCESSFUL SHOW ON THE FOX NETWORK..."
LOL! I didn't say fortune cookies that lie!
"YOUR LIFE WILL BE PUT ON HOLD IN LIEU OF A LIEU-WINSKI...."
"YOU WILL HAVE TO COME TO #WLIIA EVERY NIGHT AND LISTEN TO A
LIFELESS FOURTEEN YEAR OLD SPEAK FRENCH."
"YOU WILL WIN THE OSCAR." (to Stephen Fry)
AND LAST..."FAUX PAS AT A FUNERAL".
HELLO, I'M RICHARD SIMMONS.
OH NO, HE'S NOT QUITE DEAD!!!!
ASHES TO ASHES, DUST TO DUST, WHY NOT BUY A CAR, FREE OF RUST,
RUST, AND IT'S ON SALE THIS WEEK FOR 500 POUNDS....
LOL!
LOL!
SO, WHO'S UP FOR SOME COMMUNION WAFERS?
ASHES TO ASHES, FUNK TO FUNKY MAJOR TOM....OH THIS ISN'T DAVID
BOWIE'S FUNERAL. (Sorry!)
HE WAS A GOOD MAN, KIND.... I'M SORRY I CANT KEEP IT UP, LOL!
I ONLY DO FUNERALS WHEN I'M HAMMERED....
I'M SORRY FREDERICK THE TRAMPOLINIST HAD TO LEAVE US...
AUNT AGATHA! GET OUT OF THE COFFIN!!!!!
LOL!!
DEARLY BELOVED, WE ARE GATHERED HERE TODAY...
(groans)
(puts on hat) Great job all!!
Wooo! I thought it turned out great! What do you think?
Yeah!
I liked the game!
I thought it turned out good!
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Game: Scenes From A Hat
Players: Brady, Bremner, Clive, JoeIsham, Meskimen, Mochrie, SFry,
Tim, Wayne
Scenes: Pointless things to bring on an African safari, Bad greeting cards,
Punchlines no one understands, Conversations you don't want to
overhear, The truth about men, A John Sessions convention, Bad
first impressions, If Bill Gates were president, Odd trading card
series.
"POINTLESS THINGS TO BRING ON AN AFRICAN SAFARI".
* Brady walks in with a winter jacket.
I GOT THE BAG OF SAND!
I'VE BROUGHT MY LITTLE WOOLY THONG!
HEY! HERE IS SOME OF MY MITTENS!
ANYONE WANT SOME ESSENCE OF CHICKEN TO GET THE ANIMALS TO VISIT?
HEY, WHERE'S MY MEAT FLAVORED UNDERWEAR?
ANYONE UP FOR A SNOWBALL FIGH... UH, ANYONE UP FOR A WATER FIGHT?
MMMM, MY VERY OWN CARRION...
"BAD GREETING CARDS".
"DIE AND LEAVE ME YOUR MONEY."
(That's a get well card *L*)
LOL!
"THANK YOU FOR THE GIANT SEA TORTOISE."
"HAPPY GREY POUPON MUSTARD DAY."
LOL!
"ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, I FOUND ANOTHER MAN AND NOW
LEFT YOU."
"MY CONDOLENCES .... (inside) ON THE DAY YOU WERE BORN."
"ON THE DAY OF YOUR CIRCUMCISION....LET ME GIVE YOU A TIP..."
LOL!
"DEEPEST SYMPATHIES ON THE DEATH OF THE RABBIT."
"YOU HAVE TURNED 20, NOW IT'S DOWNHILL ALL THE WAY."
LOL!
LOL!
"TO A VERY SPECIAL WATERFOWL"....No no no! :)
LOL!
LOL!
"PUNCHLINES NO ONE UNDERSTANDS".
"GRAB THE GUN, TRISHA!"
"TAKE MY TROUT, PLEASE."
"AND HE SAID, 'TRY THE SALTY MONKEY!'"
LOL, Emile!!!
LOL!
"I KNOW, BUT DOES HE SMELL OF SOUP?"
"THIS WOULDN'T BE SO BAD IF IT WAS FROM GREG." :)
ROTFL, Jeff! I understood that one!
:)
I know! :)
"CONVERSATIONS YOU DON'T WANT TO OVERHEAR".
"YES, I USED TO BE PATRICIA....."
"WELL I THINK WE SHOULD KILL ANDY PARTRIDGE..."
"OH, GRANDMA WAS REALLY A MAN!!"
"OH, WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY ISN'T REALLY IMPROVISED...."
LOL!
LOL!
Ack! For shame, Emile!
"WOW! QUIK WITZ IS MY FAVORITE SHOW!"
"SHE WAS REALLY MUCH BETTER THAN MY WIFE."
"HELLO, MR. HOFFA." "HI ELVIS!"
LOL!
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
"CARE FOR A CIGAR, MISS LEWINSKI?"
*GAK*
Argh!
Och Emile!
LOL Emile!
I'm sorry! I really am :)
Suure ;-)
LOL!
Don't be! It's great!
"JOHN SESSIONS IS REALLY STRAIGHT!"
"THIS MEETING OF THE GAELIC FURIES WILL NOW COME TO ORDER...."
Hey! I represent that! "THE TRUTH ABOUT MEN".
I'M A WOMAN.
IT'S NOT AS SMALL AS IT LOOKS.
I KNOW WHERE WE ARE!
LOL! Good one, Mol!
TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, IT DOES BOTHER ME THAT MY BUTT LOOKS
BIG....
TRUTH? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
NO YOU DON'T LOOK FAT, REALLY!
OH, IT'S ONLY TWO MINUTES TO THE HOSPITAL.....CAN'T IT WAIT TILL
AFTER THE RAMS GAME?
LOL!
LOL! During on Redskins game, I didn't wait...
OH, IT ONLY TAKES ME FIFTEEN MINUTES TO DO IT!
THE WORLD'S MOST PERFECT FOOD IS BEER....
SURE DEAR, AFTER I DO THE LAUNDRY AND FEED THE KIDS I'LL MAKE
LOVE TO YOU.
LOL!
LOL!
"A JOHN SESSIONS CONVENTION".
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE HERE?
WHERE IS EVERYBODY???
Oops!
LOL!
THIS ROOM ISN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE ONE OF US!
GREAT HAIR, JOHN! LOSE A FIGHT WITH A LAWNMOWER?
WHAT, NO MORE FOLK SONGS ABOUT TVs?
HELLO. AHHHH!!!!! (runs)
TONIGHT'S DINNER ENTREE: SOCKS!
MY DEAREST EGO, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
LOL!
WELCOME TO THE BIG PRAT PARTY! Oh no, what did I just say?
THIS IS A GOING BACK INTO THE CLOSET PARTY. JOHN'S REALLY
STRAIGHT.
* SFry slaps herself.
* Mochrie goes to the closet, and nails it shut!
* SFry is the only one here who likes John Sessions.
Yep, I think so Molly!
LOL!
Hey!
Just kidding! :)
LOL, Emile! "BAD FIRST IMPRESSIONS".
SORRY MISS, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS YOUR CAT...
HELLO, I'M JOHN SESSIONS.
HI, MY NAME IS CLIVE ANDERSON.
MY NAME IS EMILE, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME VERONICA.
HI, MY NAME IS TONY SLATTERY AND I JUST MADE LOVE TO YOUR
DAUGHTER.
MY NAME IS JOE. IT USED TO BE LESLIE...
WHAT? YOU MEAN I HAVE TO HIT THE ENTER KEY?
LOL!
LOL!
Haha!
WHAT DOES THIS DO? OH.
DO I SMELL LIKE SOUP?