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WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
WLIIA Chat Games
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WORLD'S WORST (Part Two)
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Game: World's Worst
Players: Angie21, Mochrie, cordova-r, _Daniel_, JoeIsham, longmuir, Mochrie,
MrsTony, Sharilyn, Stiles
Scene: World's worst thing to say while having sex
GOT ANY KETCHUP?
MOOOOOOOOOO....
IT WAS THE DOG. REALLY.
haha Shar!
ON SECONT THOUGHT, LETS LEAVE THE LIGHTS OUT!
HI! I'M NERDY SPICE!
OH YEAH...OH YEAH...IS THIS YOURS?
<_Daniel_> HELP... I'M STUCK.
SO I GUESS IT ISN'T TRUE WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT TALL MEN, IS IT
RYAN?
AS A MEMBER OF PSYCHIC FRIENDS, I ALREADY KNOW I'LL BE
DISAPPOINTED
JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU'RE DONE!
ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO PUT IT THERE?
DID YOU PAY THE VISA BILL?
OH, OH, CLIVE!!!!
WHO ARE THEY? THEY'RE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS PO, LA-LAA AND
PIPSY...
lol
<_Daniel_> ARE YOU CUMMING TO BED, HONEY?
NO NO, LOWER!
Ewwww!!
WHY ARE YOU GREEN??
<_Daniel_> HARDER! HARDER! THIS MATTRESS HAS GOT TO BE HARDER!
I'M OVER HERE...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOU JOHN SESSIONS?
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?
haha!
<_Daniel_> OH, YES.. YES... WAIT! THE BASEBALL GAME IS ON.
ohhhhhhhh!!!
BUT IF I'M NOT HAVING AN ORGASM AND YOU'RE NOT HAVING AN ORGASM,
THEN WHO....
IT'S OKAY. NOT EVERYONE CAN LAST A MINUTE.
<_Daniel_> I'M BILL CLINTON.
WHAT'S THAT?! OH....IT'S JUST AN AERIAL.....
WAIT, WLIIA IS ON!!!
RORY, WHY IS THE LAMP MOANING?
I'M JEAN CRETIEN
YES! HE SINKS THE FOUR FOOT PUTT!
<_Daniel_> PUT ON SOME CLOTHES, WILL YOU?
OH! YOU KNOW WHAT'LL TURN ME ON! WATCHING KWIK WITZ!
YOU CALL THAT A PRICK? _THIS_ IS A PRICK!!!
DARLING, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET OUT NEW FRIEND, DOBBIN... *neigh*
IS IT SUPPOSSED TO DO THAT?
OH, HE'S JUST WATCHING.
HEY, MINE'S BIGGER THAN YOURS!
I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE, SOMETHING THAT IS LITTLE...
<_Daniel_> I BROUGHT MY SEX ED. CLASS TO OBSERVE TODAY.
LETS WATCH BARNEY WHILE DOING IT!
eeeeeewwwwww! This is getting disturbing ;)
WHY NO, I HAVEN'T HAD A CHECKUP IN THE LAST 3 MONTHS...
haha!
I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME...
HEY, RASPBERRY! THAT'S AMAZING!
YOU DON'T MIND IF I YELL MY DOG'S NAME, DO YOU?
I'VE SEEN BIGGER TOOTHPICKS.
MY CONDOM'S EDIBLE
<_Daniel_> I SHOULD EXPLAIN, THERE WERE A FEW COMPLICATONS WHEN I WAS
CIRCUMSISED.
YOU WANT TO DO WHAT WITH THE EGG BEATER??!
SO YOU'RE A *FRENCH* TEACHER? WANNA GIVE ME AN *ORAL* LECTURE...
JUST A MINUTE, LET ME GET A MAGNIFYING GLASS.
* Mochrie feels so dirty...
That was so unlike me!
IT'S NOT THE CONDOM THAT IS MINTY, I'VE BEEN SOAKING IN
LISTERINE!!
IS THAT A BANANA IN YOUR.... OH, YOU'RE NOT WEARING ANY
POCKETS....
ALL I NEED NOW IS SOME ICE CREAM, CHOCOLATE SYRUP AND A CH-- ER,
UM...
WANNA HEAR A HOEDOWN?
we are so full of ideas!!!
I don't think I wanna put this up! :)
<_Daniel_> Your site will be banned from GeoCities if you do, Emile!
LET'S PLAY RING TOSS!!
C'MON, SPLIT MY BANANA
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST YOUR DENTURES?
enough!!!!!
Never mind then! I've heard enough!
this is fun.....
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ROOF OF YOU MOUTH HURTS?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THOSE WEREN'T DENTURES?
RICHARD! FOR GOD'S SAKE, SAY SOMETHING!!!!
LET'S FIND OUT JUST HOW MANY LICKS IT TAKES TO GET TO THE CREAMY
CENTRE...
lol
lol Emile!
haha Emile
EWWWWWW!!!!!!
OH, RICHARD, TICKLE MY IVORIES!
Have we finished?
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Game: World's Worst
Players: _Daniel_, DCarey, Kirk, MochClive, ru2112sh, Sam_Slatt, Whither
Scene: World's worst music group / song title / song lyrics
HELLO AND WELCOME TO THE TOOTHLESS WHISTLER'S FESTIVAL...
HEY! PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR THE "OVEREXPOSED MILLIONAIRES
WHO CAN'T CARRY A TUNE!!"
<_Daniel_> HI, WE'RE THE BACKSTREET BOYS!
Heh heh!
LOL!
LOL! Heh heh!
GUHL POWA!! Sound it out...
HI, WE'RE THE BAND NAKED...UMM...HI!
<_Daniel_> I'D LIKE TO SING OUR NUMBER ONE HIT: "TINKY-WINKY, DIPSY, LAA LA,
POO... TELETUBBIES... TELETUBBIES..."
"WE'D LIKE TO PERFORM OUR LATEST CHART-TOPPER...FROM MOZAMBIQUE!"
FIRST TIME EVER! WAGNER FESTIVAL IN JERUSALEM!
"HI THERE! WE'RE HANSON!"
<_Daniel_> WE'RE THE JOHN SESSIONS TRIO...
Ewwww!!!!
"I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME, LET'S ALL GET A HISTERECTAMY!"
AND NOW...STEPHEN FRY RAPS!
LOL!
LOL Kirk!
JUST RELEASED ON CD: THE INIMITABLE COLIN MOCHRIE IN "DINOSAUR
HOEDOWNS!"
JOSIE LAWRENCE SINGS MEGADETH!
<_Daniel_> THIS IS FROM OUR ALBUM, "SOUNDS OF MOUSEPAD DUST!"
Hehehe!
HELLO, WE'RE MERTON-FRY...RAP KINGS, GEE.
"IT'S THE BUTTF*CKS!"
FROM J-TEL RECORDS -- CLIVE ANDERSON, SPOKEN WORD ON CD!
<_Daniel_> "EVERYONE LOVES MARINE LAND..."
Kirk!
It's true!
<_Daniel_> THIS IS MY SONG / AND I DON'T KNOW THE WORDS / PLEASE HELP OUT...
* _Daniel_ faints
TOGETHER AT LAST! BOB DYLAN AND TOM PETTY! CASH REWARDS FOR
THOSE WHO CAN DECIPHER LYRICS!
AND NOW, EVERYBODY! "I FEEL LIKE CHICKEN TONIGHT, LIKE CHICKEN
TONIGHT, LIKE CHICKEN TONIGHT..."
<_Daniel_> WE RECORDED THE "SOUTH PARK" THEME SONG...
I ENTERTAIN BY SINGING SONGS. "BETCHA BY GOLLY WOW..."
LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!
MIKE MCSHANE IN "BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS...WELL SWEAT, ANYWAY..."
Hahah hahah!
RICHARD VRANCH SINGS: ".........."
<_Daniel_> MY NAME IS JULIAN CLARY, AND THESE ARE MY SUPER-STAR GOSPELS...
JUST RELEASED: THE "KWIK WITZ" SOUNDTRACK! GET IT WHILE IT
LASTS....FOREVER IF WE'RE LUCKY...
:)
MIKE MCSHANE AND THE SONGS OF ADULTRY "I'VE BEEN SHAGGING THE
NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR..."
THE BEACH BOYS RE-RE-RELEASE "PET SOUNDS" AND ADD THIER GREAT
NEW HIT SINGLE "MY DOG HAD TO GNAW HIS LEG OFF AFTER HE GOT
CAUGHT IN MY BEAR TRAP!"
<_Daniel_> I'M TONY SLATTERY, AND THESE ARE "SONGS OF THE BAR".
CHIP ESTEN SINGS...UNTIL SOMEONE STOPS HIM.
"OHHH, THE GIRL IN THE FRONT....ROOOOOOW!"
NO ONE SINGS ABOUT THE UNREQUITED LOVE OF A KITTY LITTER TRAY AS
MIKE MCSHANE AND JOSIE LAWRENCE...JUST ONE OF THE MANY SONGS ON
THE ALBUM "WLIIA? TRAX -- TWENTY TRACKS TO HAVE DENTAL SURGERY
TO..."
GREG PROOPS AND TONY SLATTERY EXPLAIN THE FACTS OF LIFE: THE
MUSICAL!
3 AND A HALF HOURS OF "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!", NOW DIGITALLY
REMASTERED!
<_Daniel_> HEY MACARENA!
"MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB, MARY HAD A
LITTLE LAMB, AFTER HER FACE WAS WHITE AS SNOW..."
Whoa...LOL!
"MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB...WITH MINT JELLY."
LOL Emile. :)
PARTY QUIRKS - THE ALBUM..."THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND
OF TWIGLETS!"
AND NOW, THE TUBERCULOSIS PATIENT SINGERS!
"MY GOD'S BETTER THAN YOUR GOD." BY THE DYSLEXIC MUJIHADEEN!
<_Daniel_> THE MUSICIANS OF THE U.K. UNITE TO RECORD FOR THE WORLD CUP...
Dan! I like that song!
<_Daniel_> Sorry, I don't!
That's OK!
AND NOW, ACE OF BASE!
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Game: World's Worst
Players: Adric, _Daniel_, Dr__Nick, HeatherM, Mochrie, Sam_Slatt
Scene: World's worst person to make the first contact with an alien
TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER...
HELLO, MY NAME IS CLIVE....I had to...
<_Daniel_> I AM JOHN SESSIONS. NOW, LET ME SING ABOUT A WASHING MACHINE...
Hee hee
OH MY GOD YOU ARE UGLY!
HEH HEH, DID YOU BRING ANY SPACE CHICKS?
NO, HONESTLY, WE COMMUNICATE THROUGH SONG...
<_Daniel_> NOW JOIN ME IN THE TRADITIONAL EARTH DANCE - A HOEDOWN!
COME ON, EVERYBODY! YOU NED TO LOSE WEIGHT YOU ALIENS!
FOLLOW ME, RICHARD SIMMONS TO DANCIN' TO THE OLDIES PT. 12!
HI, COULD I INTEREST YOU IN THE BROADCASTING RIGHTS TO A NEW
SUPERSHOW SWEEPING THE GALAXY? THE NAME, YOU ASK? WHY, IT'S
"KWIK WITZ" MY FRIENDS!
PLEASE! I WANT YOU TO PROBE MY ANUS!
WE COME IN PEACE, YOU GO IN PIECES!
<_Daniel_> HI, I'M BILL CLINTON. GOT ANY INTERNS?
THIS, THIS IS A BASKETBALL YOU A**HOLE. ME? I'M DENNIS RODMAN!
LET'S SEE...EARTH CAPITAL...THAT'S A TRICKY ONE. DO YOU HAVE A
MAP?
<_Daniel_> I WOULD LIKE TO BRING TO YOU A MARVEL OF EARTH..."ESSENCE OF
MOCHRIE"...
WHY, LET ME BE THE FIRST TO SHAKE YOU BY THE HAND...OH...SORRY,
THAT WASN'T YOUR HAND?....
DEATH RAY? COOL! COULD YOU FRY A COUPLE OF PEOPLE FOR ME? NUMBER
1...JOHN SESSIONS..
HEY! YOU LOOK JUST LIKE THOSE DARNED TELETUBBIES BACK HOME!
LOL!
<_Daniel_> THE TRADITIONAL WAY TO WELCOME AN EARTH MAN IS TO HAVE HIM DRINK
A WOMAN'S MILK...
OH MY GOD, A BUNCH OF BARNEYS!!!!!!!
OH DAMN! THEY COMMUNICATE THROUGH MIME!
WAIT! BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING...WLIIA IS ON IN A COUPLE OF
MINUTES!
ALLOW US TO INTRODUCE OURSELVES. WE'RE THE SPICE GIRLS!
REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM! OH, OOPS.
OH! I SEE YOU BELONG TO THE CLIVE ANDERSON APPRECIATION SOCIETY
AS WELL!
IT'S LIKE MYSTERY SCIENCE 3000 IN REAL LIFE!
HEY, DID YOU LIKE THE MOVIE INDEPENDENCE DAY?
<_Daniel_> A PLANET OF BRAD SHERWOODS! ::SWOON::
LOL!
You've breached Ash's copyright, Dan! ;) :D But then, so have I!
Haven't we all at some point? ;)
ZEKE AND ME NEVER THOUGHT WE'D MEET A REAL LIVE SPACE ALIEN...
WANNA GO CAT FISHIN' ?
<_Daniel_> THE LAND OF CHOCOLATE... MMMM... CHOCOLATE.
HEY, I RECOGNIZE YOU....GRANDMA??!!!??!!!
NO, ACTUALLY WE'RE OUT OF POTATO CHIPS, BUT WE DO HAVE
TWIGLETS...
HI, I'M WITH THE HEAVEN'S GATE CULT. COULD YOU TELL ME WHERE I
CAN FIND THE LUNATIC FRINGE? I HEARD IT WAS IN THIS NECK OF THE
GALAXY.
<_Daniel_> IS THIS BLISSTONIA?
NO, YOU SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THAT LEFT TURN AT ALBEQUERQUE.
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF USING A LITTLE BLUSH OR SOMETHING? THAT
GREEN SKIN JUST DOESN'T SUIT YOU AT ALL.
NO, THIS IS AREA 52. SORRY, CAN'T HELP YOU.
OKAY, IF YOU WON'T PROBE MY ANUS, CAN I PROBE YOURS...IF YOU
HAVE ONE?
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY. ELVIS AIN'T HERE! I KNOW FOR A FACT
THAT HE'S LIVING FRISKILY IN AN OLD FOLKS HOME IN SURREY,
RECORDING HIS LATEST GERMAN #1 HIT "OCH OCH, LIEBE LIEBE
LIEBE..."
HEY, CAN YOU TELL YOUR FRIEND E.T. THAT HE LEFT ME WITH ONE BITCH
OF A PHONE BILL?
LOL Nick!
Hee hee!
SO YOU'VE BEEN COMMUNICATING THROUGH GREG PROOPS...I ALWAYS
WONDERED ABOUT THAT...
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR WHO..? JOHN SESSIONS? AAH...LET ME GET HIS
ADDRESS...
OF ALL THE PEOPLE YOU'VE ABDUCTED OVER THE YEARS, *WHY DIDN'T
YOU TAKE JEREMY BEADLE!!!*
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Game: World's Worst
Players: Dr__Nick, JoeIsham, Mochrie, Sam_Slatt
Scene: World's worst idea for a talk show / talk show topic
WELCOME TO MIME TIME.
TODAY ON GERALDO...MEN WHO MARRIED WOMEN WHO ARE MARRIED MEN.
IT'S TIME FOR ANIMANIACS...
HAIRY WOMEN ADDICTED TO ELECTROLYSIS...THE CAUSE FOR THE ENERGY
CRISIS?
"MY WIFE LEFT ME FOR THE TELETUBBIES", TONIGHT ON SALLY-JESSE
RAPHAEL.
TODAY ON OPRAH... MEN, THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL
Haha!
BALDING NECKLESS MEN WHO ARE ON POWERTRIPS...NEXT ON CLIVE
ANDERSON TALKS BACK.
OUR TOPIC TODAY IS DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR. PLEASE MEET OUR FIRST
GUEST, MR. JOHN SESSIONS.
OUR TOPIC, PENIS FIXATIONS...OUR GUEST, RYAN STILES...
TODAY ON JERRY... SHEEP, AND THE MEN WHO LOVE THEM!
I think that was a real show!
Eww!
TODAY ON MAURY...TWIGLETS -- THE TOOL OF THE DEVIL?
"THIS IS MIKE............FROM CANMORE........WELCOME TO MY
SHOW.....CALLLED........MIKE.....FROM CANMORE....."
Haha!!!!!!!
LOL! LOL!
Yes, the American guy got it... :)
WELCOME TO THE LAURENA BOBBITT SHOW, SPONSERED BY GINSU KNIVES...
WELCOME TO KWIK-WITZ, THE TALK SHOW VERSION...TONIGHT WE FEATURE
MEDIOCRE PERFORMERS WHO DO LESS THAN MEDIOCRE COMEDY....HOW IS
IT DIFFERENT FROM THE REGULAR SHOW? WELL, IT ISN'T....BUT....
HUH HUH, WELCOME TO OUR SHOW...HUH HUH...I'M BEAVIS...HUH HUH
HUH, AND THIS IS BUTTHEAD, HUH HUH, AND THIS IS, "YOU SUCK!"
HUH HUH HUH...
WHAT THEY DON'T TELL YOU AT SCHOOL....WE CAN'T TELL YOU EITHER.
YOU'VE GOT TO FIGURE THAT OUT FOR YOURSELF YOU TWIT!
I don't think anything we can come up with would be more
outrageous than anything that's already been done.
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Game: World's Worst
Players: Bremner, Mochrie, RUSH2112, Sam_Slatt
Scene: World's worst person to be a disc jockey
AND NOW, A SALUTE TO MY FAVOURITE SONG: "ACHY BREAKY HEART."
AND NOW ALL TRAFFIC, ALL THE TIME!
AND NOW A TWO SONGS BACK-TO-BACK BY THE RICHARD VRANCH ORCHESTRA:
"........................."
AND IT'S A VANILLA ICE MARATHON! LETS START IT OFF WITH ICE ICE
BABY!
THE ALL LISPTHING STATION!
THIS IS THE TOP 30 HOEDOWN COUNTDOWN.
Brem: LOL!
He heh!
COLIN MOCHRIE SINGS!
ON THE AIR: MANCOW AND STERN, ALL THE WWF ACTION, NONE OF THE
FAT!
AND THIS WEEK'S NUMBER ONE TRACK, THE DANCE REMIX OF "OCH OCH,
LIEBE LIEBE LIEBE", BY "FRISKY" ELVIS PRESLEY...
IT'S THE KIDS IN THE HALL MORNING SHOW!
MUSIC FOR IMSOMNIACS, ALL DEBUSSY, ALL THE TIME...
AND NOW MORE SONGS FROM BANDS YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF!
YOU LOVE THE TOP 40, TUNE INTO THE TOP 2!
THIS IS "REALLY REALLY REALLY." STAY TUNED FOR "INSTRUMENTAL"
AND "I FIGHT FIRES IN GERMANY."
LOL!!!
LOL!
YOU KNOW THEM, YOU LOVE THEM, THE GREG PROOPS HOE-DOWN OUTTAKES!
AND NOW THE STIRRING LOVE BALLAD, "OUR LOVE IS BIGGER THAN A
WHALE..."
AND NOW, RELIGIOUS MUSIC WITH THE JULIAN CLARY CHORUS!
LOL!!
HEAR CAROLINE QUENTIN SING UNTIL YOUR EARS BLEED!
WELCOME TO K-TWIG RADIO, BROUGHT TO YOU BY JACOB'S TWIGLETS.
THIS IS THE JOHN SESSIONS MUSIC FESTIVAL. IT'S SIMULCAST ON EVERY
CHANNEL!
K-FRY, ALL RAP WITH STEPHEN FRY!
!SGNOS SELTAEB SDRAWKCAB WON DNA !SEGASSEM TERCES
LOL!
!rehtaeH ah, aH
(:
* Bremner spals Eirhcom dnoura a tib htiw a egral tuort!
TONE-DEAF RADIO..
WHITE NOISE 106-4 FM!
* Bremner thinks this is World's Worst Radio Station
FROM MOBILE ALABAMA, W-KKK, ALL KLAN, ALL THE TIME...
HEY HEY! IT'S 3 AM AND TIME TO WAKE THE NEIGHBOURS: "LEMONS! I
GOT LEMONS! I GOT MORE LEMONS THAN I NEED!!!...."
YOU'RE LISTENING TO A SIMULCAST OF "TODAY IN #WLIIA."
AND NOW, CLIVE ANDERSON SINGS!
AND NOW, CENTENARIAN ELVIS IMPERSONATORS.
PAUL MERTON WILL BE JOINING US IN THE STUDIO TO SHARE HIS MUSICAL
TALENTS...
WSKN, SOUNDS LIKE A SCANNER REPORT, BECAUSE IT REALLY IS!
W-LIN PRESENTS THE LATEST BRAD SHERWOOD SINGLE...::SWOON!::
THIS IS SARNIA RADIO, THERE'S NOTHING ON, GO TO PORT HURON
DAMN IT!
Brem! :P We have decent radio!!!
Oh, ok... it comes from TO but...
No fighting kids...
Decent HOMEGROWN radio! :)
RADIO NEWFOUNDLAND!
YOU'RE WANDERING THE STREETS LISTENING TO COSH OSHAWA 96-5.
EH! WELCOME TO C-CAN, EH? LIKE, I'M BOB, AND THIS HOSER HERE IS
MY BROTHER DOUG...EH?
Whooo hoo! LOL Emile. :) How's it goin', 'eh?
THIS EST MONTREAL RADIO. TU ES LISTENING A MONTREAL.
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Game: World's Worst
Players: Drew, JLawrence, JoeIsham, JonPryce, McShaneM, Mochrie, MrsTony,
RStiles
Scene: World's worst prize in a cereal box
"YOU MAY HAVE ALREADY WON $10 MILLION!"
HI I AM THE CLIVE ANDERSON ACTION FIGURE: WITH A RETRACTIBLE
NECK!
Hehehe!
LOL!
Remember, Shep won't understand these references! ;)
NEW! HADDOCK GEL!
LIVE DISEASE CARRYING BACTERIA IN EVERY BOX!