STATE / PROVINCIAL / CITY SLOGANS

A while back in IRC, the Whosers spent a couple evenings coming up with alternate
slogans for the various states in the U.S.A, provinces in Canada and cities therein contained. (Whew!)
Here's what they came up with.

UPDATED: May 11, 2002

Contributors: Ben, Emile, Evan, Joe, Jeff, Jules, Kerri (and John), Laura, Lisa, Spell, Tracy

ALABAMA

"The state that time forgot."
"Not the band, the state!"
"Have you hugged a redneck today?"
"The name's Bubba, what's it to you?"
"The poor man's New Hampshire."
"Once I was New Hampshire, but then I woke up."
"Is that a banjo on your knee, or are you just pleased to see me?"
"You know Emeril's been here, he left his 'Bam!' in it."

ALASKA

"Christ, it's Cold!"
"Don't you wish you were in Hawaii?"
"Look out for the polar bear!"
"It doesn't really look like it does on Northern Exposure."

ARIZONA

"Our state has a crack in it!"
"Migration homeland of Canadian senior citizens."
"But it's a dry heat!"
"Southern California without Los Angeles."
"We got Dan now. Thanks a lot, Indiana!!"

ARKANSAS

"At least we had a guy in the White House!"
"Kansas, with extra ars."
"50th in littericee."
"We're probably related."

CALIFORNIA

"If you're not blonde, get outta here!"
"Duuuuuuuuude!!!"
"Where America's richest and poorest combine."
"Waitin' for the big one."
"Famous hooters."
"Don't blame us for 'Ishtar'."
"We know Ashley too!!!"
"So you wanna see Twin Peaks, do you?"
"To conserve power, our intelligence has been lowered."
"Here be bitches."

COLORADO

"Where you can ski, unless you have wings and a wand."
"Where the deer and the antelope play ... and you must be over 18 to look at the pictures."
"Where famous people come to freeze their asses off on the T-bars."

CONNECTICUT

"The other white state!"
"Birthplace of Dubya. Need we say more?"

DELAWARE

"We've been here since the beginning and haven't done a damn thing!"

FLORIDA

"Of course we care about who wins the election!"
"Home of the Hanging Chad."
"Got Morons?" (suggested by both Jeff and Jules)
"The Viagra state"
"We're shaped like a ... well, you know..."
"Migration homeland of a million pink plastic flamingos!"
"So we screw up elections, traffic lights and marriages ... but we also know Ashley!"
"We don't care enough for a revote."
"Just say Jeb."
"It's a bitch to be here!"

GEORGIA

"Our state's a peach, but we're the pits!"
"There's a lot of peach trees."
"We have more than peaches here!"
"You might be a redneck."
"All roads lead to Atlanta. If road doesn't lead to Atlanta, you are probably in Alabama."

HAWAII

"....wish I was somewhere colder."
"Come here to get lei'd."

IDAHO

"Got Mormons?"
"Famous potatoes...'nuff said."
"Wonderful woman's birthplace."
"The Aryans weren't our idea! Honest!"
"Come visit lovely Coeur d'Wayne, Hagadone..."
"We're more than spuds for crying out loud!"
"If you don't live in Boise, who cares?"
"What panhandle?

ILLINOIS

"Chicago and a lot of suburbs."

INDIANA

"A lot more of Chicago suburbs."
"Birthplace of John Mellencamp, Michael Jackson and Dan Quayle ... the good, the bad and the ugly!"
"Home of Gary .... and Phil."
"Stop in for a Hammond rye."
"We only voted Republican in '90 so Dan wouldn't come back."

IOWA

"Want some corn?"
"Gateway to the west ... and yes, it's all our fault."
"We challenge you to name more than two of our cities."
"Home of Julie's relatives. That explains everything!"
"Show me Des Moines-ey!"
"Gateway to the Big Rectangular States."

KANSAS

"Want some corn?"
"I don't think we're in Dorothy anymore!"
"Not as flat as you'd think."

KENTUCKY

"We keep it in the family."

LOUISIANA

"Where we don't care if you can't understand what we're saying."
"Got gumbo?"

MAINE

"The rain stays mainly on the plain."

MARYLAND

"Endorsed by Wayne & Garth."
"Live here, work in D.C."
"Home of the Cleveland Browns."

MASSACHUSETTS

"Kennedys R Us!"

MICHIGAN

"Where's my other damned mitten??"
"We provided half of KerriOTPS's DNA...what more do you want from us?!"
"So close to WhoserCon, yet so far."

MINNESOTA

"Home of Prince and 10,000 frozen lakes!"
"Where you can freeze your buns off."
"Home of the Prince Memorial Run-Off."

MISSOURI

"It's not pronounced 'misery'."

MISSISSIPPI

"See Tennessee's slogan."
"We're all 4 I'd and 4 S'd and proud of it!!"

MONTANA

"Where men are men and sheep are nervous!"
"The only state where you can be run over by a driver who's legally driving 100 MPH."
"The only state where you can PASS a driver who's legally driving 100 MPH."
"Big sky countery ... cuz we're so damned flat it's pathetic!"
"Look! Up in the sky! Is that a skeeter or a seagull?"

NEBRASKA

"Want some more corn?"
"We're not as boring as Iowa."

NEVADA

"Blackjack! And hookers!"
"Waitin' for the big one so they don't have to put up with California any more."
"Cheap hookers, cheap weddings, cheap divorces ... you can have it all!"
"Lose your money in the desert."
"Home of the drive-thru wedding chapel. Get married where you first did it!"

NEW HAMPSHIRE

"Not that there was anything wrong with the old one..."
"We're most known for not being most known for anything."

NEW JERSEY

"New and improved from the Old Jersey!"
"Fuggehtaboutit!"
"What's that smell?"
"Welcome to New Jersey. Now get the hell out!"

NEW MEXICO

"Yes, you can drink our water!"
"Yes, we're really in the U.S.A."

NEW YORK

"Would you prefer the Old Pork?"
"Whatchalookinat?!"
"It's New Yawk, ya chowdah-heads!"

NORTH CAROLINA

"We know Ashley!"
"Come and enter Charlotte."

NORTH DAKOTA

"Where those big rock guys are."
"We don't have an inferiority complex."
"Last civilized area before the tundra."

OHIO

"WKRP. 'Nuff said."
"Round on both ends and high in the middle."
"Home of Toledo ... it's not all that holy."

OKLAHOMA

"That's not an 'O' at the end, stupid!"
"Where the sun comes .... oh, you've heard it?"
"Where all the flowers have gone."

OREGON

"The state that keeps Washington from crashing on top of California."
"Just follow the rain clouds."

PENNSYLVANIA

"Where all the world's pencils are made!"
"State law requires us to have every square mile of road under construction."

RHODE ISLAND

"Hey, who forgot to claim that little chunk of land?"

SOUTH DAKOTA

"Just under where those big rock guys are."
"We never did anything!"
"It's pronounced Peer, okay?"

TENNESSEE

"Yes, you do have to use all the letters."

TEXAS

"We can kick your ass - and fry it, too!"
"Now you see what we've been going through!"
"Where Bush is more than a word for where you find two birds."
"Flipping America two birds!"
"Don't blame us, he wasn't born here!"
"Shuddup or we'll drown you wearing all our Super Bowl rings."
"Titty bar! Titty bar! Titty bar!"
"Support your local DUI driver ... we did!"
"The state that overpaid Alex Rodriguez."
"Y'all Yankees just go back home now."

UTAH

"Got Mormons?"
"Utah, Utah a puddy tat?"
"I really like it here, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do..."

VERMONT

"Go ahead. Try and pronounce our capital's name!"
"We have more cows than people, what's one more?"
"We gave the world Ben & Jerry's. We're done now."

VIRGINIA

"You'd never guess by our name."

WASHINGTON

"Home of the cleanest people."
"Home of the rustiest people."
"If you're not in King County, what makes you think we care about you?"
"It looks like Alaska on Northern Exposure."
"Twin Peaks was just a show."
"Our residents' brains fry."

WASHINGTON, D.C.

"Where we park in the driveway and lie on the Beltway."
"I did not have sexual relations with that Virginia!"
"Got cigars?"

WEST VIRGINIA

"We'll make you cry 'Uncle!'"
"We're shaped like an octopus!"

WISCONSIN

"Yes, we will cut the cheese!"
"Where you can get cheese and beer!"
"Where people are proud to be known as Cheeseheads."
"Why 'Packers'?"

WYOMING

"Wy oh wy oh wy oh wy!"

ALBERTA

"We're really sorry about Stockwell Day."

LABRADOR

"You can't get here."
"It's a bitch to get here!"

NEWFOUNDLAND

"We're just half an hour behind."

NUNAVUT

"Squiggle, square, candycane, circle..."

ONTARIO

"The centre of the universe. Just ask us."

SASKATCHEWAN

"Canada's giant rectangle."

BUFFALO

"Be here to bitch."

EDMONTON

"We wish it were still 1985."

MONTREAL

"To find our English-language slogan, just use your magnifying glass."

TORONTO

"The place where Texans know their way around better than the locals!"

VANCOUVER

"If you can find a more perfect place, tell us and we'll move there."

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