TITLE: Hero Worship
AUTHOR: Elanor G
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: A little RetroX post-Space thingy. Believe it or not!
DISCLAIMER: Don't own these characters. Doing this for fun, not money. 


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"So where were you all morning, Mulder?" asked Scully, studying him from
across the booth. He was dipping his egg roll in a bizarre mixture of duck sauce and
hot mustard, sunlight from the plate glass window turning his brown hair bright.

"I was meeting with Senator Matheson," Mulder answered. He looked up at
Scully and shoved the remaining egg roll in his mouth. He chewed very slowly and
carefully, as if he enjoyed prolonging the suspense. Scully simply waited with her
hands folded on the Formica and waited for him to swallow. "It's about our
adventure in Houston."

"What did he say?"

"Basically that he's very grateful. Many, many people are grateful, as a matter
of fact. We saved the space program a lot of embarrassment. The Senator thinks we
can bank on that gratitude and he can trump more support in Congress to keep the
X-Files open." His voice was surprisingly bitter.

"You don't seem very happy about it."

"Well, of course I'm not happy about it. It came at the price of a man's life. A
*great* man's life." Mulder paused when the waitress came with their food -
rice, orange beef, chicken and broccoli in garlic sauce. The dishes were dumped
unceremoniously in front of them and the waitress left without a word. "I don't
like it."

Scully shook her head as she took the chopsticks out of their paper  wrapper.
Mulder's hero worship seemed so out of place with everything else she knew about
him. Or did it? She still couldn't quite get a handle on his mixture of cynicism and
credulity. "I know it's hard to accept, but Belt was a sick man. He wasn't
responsible for his actions."

"I know he wasn't responsible for his actions. But he wasn't sick. I *know*
sick." Mulder stabbed at the deep fried beef. "You saw it, Scully. You felt
it. Something was possessing him."

"And we have exactly no evidence to back that up. None, Mulder."

They ate the rest of their lunch in silence.


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They walked back through Chinatown, among crowds of tourists and office workers on
lunch break. The Hoover Building, several blocks away, loomed above the fading
neighborhood. It was a beautiful afternoon, sunny with a sharply blue sky. It felt
good to get out and eat a real lunch instead of the bland offerings at the Bureau
cafeteria. Mulder's mood seemed to improve with a bellyful of Chinese food and
Scully decided to try another conversational tactic.  "So when did you develop
your fascination with space travel? How old were you?"

Mulder seemed startled out of some internal reverie. He was more closed lately - he
had confided in her about his sister, and Scully thought that perhaps he regretted
sharing a confidence with her when he barely knew her. Lately he avoided talking
more about himself, his family and his childhood. "Pretty early on, Scully. I
can't remember *not* being fascinated by space travel." He glanced sidelong at
her. "Not as compelling as Black Beauty or Holly Hobby of course, but – "

"Oh, Mulder, I remember watching the moon landing with my brothers. I had a Star
Trek lunch box. We drove to Florida and toured the space center when I was in junior
high school. Give me a *little* credit."

"I have uncovered the secret geek that is Dana Scully. More layers than an
onion." He grinned at her. "Come on, don't you still find the idea of space
travel compelling? The lure of the unknown? Boldly going where no man has gone
before?"

"No *one*," said Scully with mock prissiness.

"Fine, no *one*."

"Of course I do, Mulder. I'm a scientist."

They walked in silence for a few minutes. Mulder's smile turned a little wistful.
"I suppose thinking about it reminds me of a good time in my life," he said
slowly. "A nice, simple, good-and-bad, black-and-white time."

"Talk about layers," murmured Scully. Simple, good-and-bad, black-and-white.
That's what heroes are, aren't they, Mulder? But he had fallen far away again, his
changing eyes lost in thought. And she wondered if she was ever going to make sense
of him. She wondered if she wanted to.

End

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