"I think you got more cherries than I did." Slade stirred his bowl of ice cream slowly, his sharp eyes hunting through the creamy substance. He sighed and looked over at Obi-Wan, who had paused in mid-bite and was looking between their bowls.

"We can, um, trade if you want." He put his spoon back in the bowl and pushed it over to Slade.

He looked at the younger boy, his bright blue eyes hopeful. It was funny how Obi-Wan tried to fix everything with small things. Lose your master? Here, have my ice cream. He was such a weird little kid sometimes. "That's okay, Obi-Wan. I'll be fine." It didn't look like Obi-Wan had that many more cherries anyway.

Obi-Wan frowned at him for a moment before hopping down from his chair and heading over to the cold storage unit on the far side of the kitchen. Reaching up on the tips of his toes, the boy opened the freezer section of the compartment and Force lifted the container of ice cream to his hands. The box wobbled slightly in transit, but it was still an impressive display of Force manipulation. And the really sad thing was that Obi-Wan didn't even realize that he shouldn't be able to do things like that so well at his age. Slade knew he did it because it was easier than dragging a chair over to the unit.

The younger boy returned to the table and crawled up into his seat, setting the box on the table and prying the lid off with his spoon. He peered into the box and a frown spread across his face. "I think they lied. There are hardly any cherries in here at all."

"Really, Obi-Wan, it's okay. Don't worry about it."

The worried face turned to him. "But, but they shouldn't lie like that. It's bad. You should be able to have as many cherries as you want." He turned his head. "Master!"

"Obi-Wan, it's not--" Slade shook his head and made a short cutting motion with his hand.

"Is something wrong, Obi-Wan? Slade?" Master Qui-Gon walked into the room with the same concerned expression he'd been wearing for weeks. It wasn't that Slade minded that there were still people that cared about him, but everyone made such a big deal about everything. Everything he did and everything he said had all become significant and he never knew if he was saying the right thing.

"Yes. There aren't enough cherries in this. Slade wanted cherries." Obi-Wan held out the box of ice cream to his master for inspection.

Master Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at the box and looked briefly in the direction of the cold storage unit. "Obi-Wan, what have I said about getting things from there?"

"Um," Obi-Wan paused and squinted his eyes. "Not to? I forgot."

"Amazing that you can remember these things after the fact, but not when you do them. Please make an effort in the future not to blatantly disregard the things I tell you, yes?"

"Yes, Master. But there weren't enough cherries."

Slade shook his head. "Really, Master Qui-Gon, it's fine. I tried to tell him, but well. . ." He shrugged his best 'you know' shrug and hoped the master wouldn't be angry at him.

Master Qui-Gon nodded seriously at Obi-Wan and while the other boy was digging through the ice cream, he winked at Slade, a slight grin on his face. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. It comes pre-packaged, there's really nothing I can do about the amount of cherries in the ice cream except get a different kind next time. I think you both can live." He gently took the box from Obi-Wan's hands and placed it back in the unit. "Please leave the box where it is this time, Obi-Wan."

"Yes, Master."

Master Qui-Gon left the room again and Obi-Wan scowled at his back. "He wasn't helpful at all."

"Shhh. I think he can hear you."

"I don't care."

Slade shook his head again and began eating his ice cream again. Sometimes he wished his master were still here, even if they didn't have a good bond. It was okay being with Obi-Wan; sometimes it was really fun to be able to see him whenever he wanted, but he missed having his own room. He missed having a master.

It wouldn't be so bad if everyone didn't know that he didn't have a master anymore. Now he was just the padawan whose master had run off. He wasn't good enough to keep his master around and now he didn't have one anymore. Some of the Healers had tried to help him, they said. They said it wasn't his fault, that he hadn't done anything wrong, but he knew better. If he'd been a better padawan, his master wouldn't have gone away. Obi-Wan didn't know how good he had it, and sometimes it made him angry. He knew he wasn't supposed to get angry, but he did anyway. The Healers told him that was okay too. Master Adi had been very nice to him especially, but none of them had really helped. He still didn't have the one thing he really wanted.

Every time the comlink to Master Qui-Gon's apartment chimed, Slade held his breath, knowing, knowing that it would be his master calling. Even if he wasn't coming back, he was at least calling to check on him and make sure everything was okay. And every time so far he'd been disappointed.

"Are you two just about done?" Slade looked up as Obi-Wan's master came into the kitchen. Obi-Wan, as usual, had managed to get his ice cream almost everywhere. Master Qui-Gon took the bowl from the younger boy and placed it in the sink, catching hold of the back of Obi-Wan's tunic before he could run out of the kitchen. "Hold on, there, Little One. Let me take your tunic before you get that everywhere." He helped Obi-Wan out of his tunic, keeping the ice cream from smearing any further surfaces. "All right, shower time. Call if you need help."

As Obi-Wan headed off to the 'fresher, Master Qui-Gon tossed the tunic on the counter by the sink and took a seat opposite Slade. "Still working at it?"

Slade pushed the mostly melted ice cream with his spoon half heartedly, then shook his head. "No, I think I'm done."

"I'll see if I can find some with more cherries."

He shook his head as Obi-Wan's master took his bowl away. "It's not that, it's just, I don't know. I'm not hungry I guess."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Slade sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. "No. That's all I ever do is talk about things and it doesn't help. No one can help."

Master Qui-Gon stood immediately and came around the table and knelt next to Slade's chair. "Oh, Slade. Oh, that's not true, we're trying to help. Tell me, tell me what I can do." He reached out with his arms, an invitation to a hug, and Slade found himself in Obi-Wan's master's arms before he knew how he got there.

The Jedi master rubbed circles on his back and talked to him, but he couldn't understand. It was hard to breathe, like there was a giant taun-taun sitting on his chest and he couldn't get any air inside him. He buried his face in the side of Master Qui-Gon's neck as he started rocking Slade.

"Go ahead, Slade, go ahead and let it out. You're safe here."

The master's words were like trigger and somehow all the bad things he'd kept inside and all the things he felt he couldn't let go came out. All over Master Qui-Gon. He sobbed into the master's arms for a long, long time. And when Master Qui-Gon asked him again what he could do to help, Slade had an answer for him.

"I want to talk to my master."

***

"I don't care if he's five systems away from the nearest comm unit. Find him and get him to call me." Qui-Gon was doing his very best to keep the threat out of his voice, but he was almost certain it wasn't working. "I'll call again in an hour, and I expect some progress to have been made."

Qui-Gon leaned back as he switched off the comlink and looked at Adi. "I really hope this is the best thing for him."

Adi nodded. "I think that sometimes keeping these kind of connections open to others can be damaging, but in Slade's case, he already feels abandoned. To keep him from Rian entirely. . .it’s more harmful to him in the long run."

Both boys were sleeping in Obi-Wan's room, though it had taken him an extra half hour to get them both settled. Slade was still upset, and Obi-Wan was empathetically distressed. He imagined neither of them would sleep well and would probably be up earlier than normal. It was his hope, though, that he would be able to track down Rian before Slade was awake. It didn't really matter to him if he missed a night's sleep or more. This matter was too long unsettled.

"I just want it done. I want to be able to do something to help and I don't know how." He shook his head in frustration again, feeling overwhelmed with the care of the young boy. Even though Slade was seeing several Jedi Healers within the Temple, he still felt as though it was his ultimate responsibility to make it right for the boy. In some way, he felt that if he'd only been paying more attention, been more interested in Slade's life, he might have been able to prevent the entire incident. He knew it was selfish, he knew he was making himself a center to the problem, but he couldn't help himself.

"And what if nothing can be done, and Rian can't be found? Will you take repressibility for that as well? Perhaps you should have gotten on this search sooner, realized that Slade would need to speak with him again." Adi sighed impatiently. "I wish Bel-San were here. He wouldn't let you think these things. The rest of us tell you this, and you smile and nod like you think we know what we're talking about, but really you just ignore us. It’s very irritating, you know."

Qui-Gon just shrugged, knowing on one level that she was right. It didn't make him feel any different about the situation, though. He doubted very much that anything could change his feelings. "Do you think he's ready to talk about getting a new master yet?" Sometimes it was easier to change topics than pursue conversations.

Adi glared at him. "Don't think I don't know what you're doing." She settled back with a sigh and directed her glance to the area of the apartment that held Obi-Wan's room. "I think he might be more receptive after he's had a chance to talk with Rian. But it's still a touchy issue and I really think it would be best for him to bring it up first. I don't want to push him on this matter, or force him into something too quickly. He may feel that he isn't good enough to have another master, or that he lost the first one and there’s no guarantee that another will stay with him. He may even be feeling that he needs permission from Rian to accept a new master. Slade hasn't really been willing to talk much about what he's thinking and feeling. I really think that Rian might be our best hope." She shook her head. "And that doesn't give me the greatest sense of confidence."

"I hear that." Qui-Gon closed his eyes for a moment and stood. "Would you like some tea?" He pushed himself off the couch and headed for the kitchen, only vaguely aware that Adi was following him.

"That would be nice." She, thankfully, had seemed to pick up on the change in Qui-Gon. As much as the situation was bothering him, he really didn't want to think about it for a few minutes. Just for a little while.

As he moved through the small kitchen, Adi settled at the table. "What's the news from Bel-San? I read his latest report for the Council and it sounds like he's really enjoying himself there."

Qui-Gon smiled slightly. "Apparently. I talked with him a couple of days ago and it sounds like he's really making some progress dealing with the local populations. I think it's been very good for him to get out, go out and do some hands-on work. He's great with the kids, he really is, but this is something he's always wanted to do and," he shrugged, "For a long time he was wary of doing things like this, because of what happened with Sy-Mon. It's good for him."

"I remember." Adi nodded slowly and accepted the cup of tea he placed before her with a smile. "Does he know what's happened here?"

As Qui-Gon dumped more sweetener than was strictly good for a person into the heated, slightly bitter liquid, he glanced at Adi, wondering how much he could tell her. "I thought it might be best to tell him in person. Not that I think anyone is truly interested in my private conversations, but it wasn't a secure line and I thought it better not to spread that sort of information." Payter had trusted only him with his, admittedly, vague ideas and he didn't feel right sharing them with Adi. Bel-San, without a second thought, but then Bel-San probably knew more about him than anyone. "I'll tell him when he gets back."

"Probably not a bad precaution. Do you know when he's expected back?"

"I'm not sure. I left a message on his comlink yesterday for him to give me a call, but he hasn't gotten back to me yet. I imagine he's pretty busy. It might be a while." He sipped at the hot liquid and glanced down to the floor as he felt a brush against his leg. Jes made a quiet cat sound and jumped into his lap, purring loud enough to carry across the table.

Adi shook her head at him with a faint smile. She opened her mouth to comment, but Qui-Gon held up a finger before returning to petting the small kitten.

"Not a word about random strays. She's Obi-Wan's stray."

"And yet you'll note she's quite Obi-Wan-less at the moment."

"Yes, well, she's been rather put out since Slade moved into Obi-Wan's room. She's a little frightened of him, I'm afraid. He apparently looks too much like something that would like to eat her."

Adi laughed and stood. "As fascinating as all this is, I'm sure you'll excuse me. I have some things left to take care of this evening, but please let me know how things turn out with Slade."

Qui-Gon nodded and stood to follow Adi to the door, the kitten tucked carefully in his arms. "Of course."

***

"Are you two about done with your homework?" Slade looked up as Master Qui-Gon stuck his head around the corner into Obi-Wan's room.

"Almost, we just have one problem left to do." Slade pointed to the datapad that held their assignment from their advanced mechanics class. Truthfully, Obi-Wan had been doing most of the work, but this time it wasn't because Slade thought the younger boy could do it better. He just couldn't seem to focus.

Obi-Wan's master nodded. "Dinner's almost ready, so come out when you get done and we'll eat, okay?"

Both he and Obi-Wan nodded and went to work on the last problem. It was mostly just busy work to make sure everyone in the class was at the same level; the problems were almost laughably easy.

When they finished, they wandered out of the room and ate at the table with Master Qui-Gon, who chatted with them both about their day and what they thought they might like to do on the upcoming rest day. Obi-Wan was opting for another outing to the park, but Slade just shrugged. He was better about not being afraid to be out in public places anymore, but he just didn't feel like doing anything in particular. He guessed the park might be fun. Maybe he could find a pet of his own, but his wouldn't be afraid of him, and hiss at him every time he walked in the room.

Just as they were finishing dinner, the comm unit chirped, signaling an incoming call and Slade turned his attention to finishing his food. It was probably someone who wanted to talk with Master Qui-Gon about something very important; it seemed like Obi-Wan's master personally held the Jedi Order together sometimes. Master Rian had never been that important.

"Slade?"

He looked up as Master Qui-Gon entered the kitchen with the portable comlink in his hand. "Yes?"

"There's someone who'd like to talk to you. Is that okay?"

Slade frowned at the comlink for a moment, trying to figure out who it was without answering. Finally he shrugged and held out his hand. "I guess."

"You can talk as long as you like." Master Qui-Gon's eyes were very kind as he handed over the small device.

"Thanks." Slade turned his attention to the comlink. "Hello?"