Cruel to Be Kind
Alex snapped on a Saturday.
It had taken almost a month for him to get to the final breaking point, a month of watching Walter suffer in silence, of seeing deliberate snubs both unprovoked and unpunished, of staring into brown eyes full of pain.
The worst part of it all for Alex had been knowing he could and should put an immediate stop to the hurting, and choosing instead to remain neutral. It wasn't a choice he would have made under ordinary circumstances. No, under ordinary circumstances, the guilty party or parties would have been under no illusions that they had picked on the wrong person. Alex would never have stood by and and let Walter be treated that way, had anyone else been responsible. Anyone, but Mulder.
For almost a full month, Mulder had been mean to Walter.
At first, it had been little things Alex had noticed. Forgetting to say "thank you", not offering him a drink while getting one for himself. Nothing that Alex couldn't put off to fatigue or lack of awareness. Besides, he'd reasoned, Walter was a big boy, if he had a problem with Mulder he could take care of it himself. He'd never seemed to have a problem in the past.
A smart mouth and a bad attitude generally equaled a smarting backside, with Walter not hesitating to put either Fox or Alex over his knee. Walter himself was not immune, having found himself face down across Mulder's lap on more than one occasion. Alex, too, had known censure at Mulder's hand, the three of them having discussed it at length before ever agreeing to become a trio. Their past, both shared and separate, simply left no room for any deliberately hurtful behavior. It would be like lighting candles in a room full of explosives, not guaranteeing an explosion, but certainly making the setting ripe for one.
And so they had agreed to keep each other in line, to show their love for each other and commitment to this relationship by not tolerating any threat to it, especially not a threat from within.
And so, Alex waited for Walter to say something to Mulder, to scold him for his increasingly rude behavior. When no rebuke was forthcoming, he began to worry.
Mulder wasn't being rude to him, only to Walter. He was as considerate as usual to Alex, making his treatment of Walter that much more obvious. A quiet attempt to discuss it with Mulder had failed. Mulder simply assured him that nothing was wrong, that he still loved Walter, was still in love with Walter. Alex heard the truth in Fox's voice, saw it in his eyes, and his confusion let Fox slip away with a reassuring kiss.
Walter was equally unhelpful, basically repeating what Mulder had already told him, and leaving it at that. Alex couldn't discuss it further without pushing, and he was loathe to push either of them.
In many ways, Alex still felt like an outsider, like a stray taken in out of pity. He knew he was loved, knew he was wanted and needed, but in his heart of hearts, there remained a soft spot of doubt and fear about his place in their world. They were the leaders, a couple with an extra. They had been together first, they would be the ones together at the end, he was only filling in the middle.
A part of him was ashamed for these thoughts and feelings, knowing they weren't true, but he was simply too afraid of losing them to listen to that part. And so, Alex seldom upset things. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd fought with one or both of them combined. He'd rather give in and be safe, even if cost him some pride and soul to do so. And he never, ever pushed.
And so, he watched, sick inside, as Mulder's treatment of their lover grew shabbier and shabbier. He watched as Walter took the insults. He watched as Mulder pushed Walter further and further away. He heard Skinner's soft words of apology, though he'd done nothing wrong, and felt himself torn apart with the struggle to remain in the middle, to be neutral. To say nothing and be safe.
Until the last Saturday in the month.
Until Mulder suggested that Walter start sleeping in the guest room.
Until he saw a single tear make it's way down Walter's cheek, as he reached for his pillow, prepared to go.
Suddenly, he didn't care about being safe. He didn't care about being neutral, didn't care about seeming like a stray that returns scratches for sanctuary. He could not, would not remain idle a moment more. His lovers, both of them, were worth fighting for, and if he had to fight Mulder to be able to turn around and save him, so be it.
He grabbed Mulder's wrist and literally hauled him across his lap. He pinned Fox down with the prosthetic, using his real hand to bare Fox's bottom. As they had just come from a shower, this was accomplished in record time, and then without a second thought or a moment of hesitation, Alex delivered his first spanking of their relationship.
He made up for lost time.
Alex reviewed, restated and repeated himself as he spared neither word nor arm. He scolded harshly, telling Mulder off in glorious Technicolor, sometimes lapsing into other languages when he ran out of English synonyms for "horrible", "rude" and "completely unacceptable".
Fox had apologized repeatedly, swearing by everything holy and unholy he could think of that it would never, never, ever happen again. He pleaded, he begged, he made every vow he could think of. At last, he simply sobbed, as Alex wore him out completely.
Mulder's bottom had gone through every shade of pink and was a good three-quarter's through the reds, when Walter spoke, stopping him mid-spank.
"Alexi, nyet!"
It was an almost guaranteed method of stopping Alex, especially when Walter said it with Marine inflection.
He looked up, almost surprised to see Walter standing there.
"He's been punished enough, I promise." Walter's voice was gentle, and there was a light in his eyes Alex had never seen before.
Alex let his eyes drop to the shuddering form across his knees. Mulder hadn't budged, despite the fact that Alex was no longer pinning him down.
"S-s-sorry." Mulder managed to get the one word out around his tears, and Alex felt his anger and frustration evaporate just as his fear had earlier.
"Walter, help me with him, please." Gently, tenderly they carefully eased Mulder off of Alex's lap, lying on his side on the bed.
Alex cuddled him close, noticing that he was actually out of breath from the intensity of both the scolding and the spanking. He listened as Mulder's sobs subsided, kissed and held tightly to the long body that was now only trembling in his embrace.
Walter had left once Mulder was settled, and now he returned carrying a tray with a bowl of cool water, a soft cloth, a bottle of aloe gel, a cold bottle of water and an ice bag. He set everything by the bed, then joined them, sliding down beside Alex, wrapping his arms around both of them.
After several minutes of silent comforting, Mulder raised his face. Alex was stunned to see that despite the fact that Mulder's face was still red and streaked from sweat and his crying, he was smiling.
"Thank you, Alex. Thank you." Mulder then looked over Alex's shoulder, at Walter. Something in the look they shared made Alex suddenly suspicious. Walter's next words confirmed the theory coalescing in Alex's mind.
"Was it worth it?"
"Absolutely. He's worth it. For you?"
"No question."
"Alright, what the hell's going on?" Alex wasn't angry, despite the fact that he knew he'd just been played. In fact, if he was right, he thought he just might cry himself, from happiness.
"You fought for us, Alex. You fought for me, and you fought for Mulder. We always knew you would. But you also fought for the three of us. Again, we always knew you would. But you weren't sure. You kept holding yourself separate from us, Alex."
"Alex, we knew you were still doubting us, and yourself. We couldn't let that happen any longer. You were still so afraid."
Mulder paused, and Walter handed him the water.
"Thanks, love." Mulder drank thirstily, then cleared his throat and continued.
"Alex, we love you. You. Opinions, flaws, faults and all. We want you to be with us, really with us. We couldn't watch you hurt yourself any longer, watch you let fear keep you a prisoner in our relationship. But we couldn't lose you either."
"We knew you'd fight for us. We just had to prove it to you, get you to confess. Surely I don't need to explain to you the theory behind good cop/bad cop." Walter kissed Alex at the junction of neck and shoulder, while Mulder cuddled closer still.
"It was a desperate plan, but we were desperate. When you asked what was going on, we didn't lie, didn't want to scare you that we were breaking up. We told you the truth, that nothing was wrong, that I still loved Walter and was still in love with him. We just couldn't explain further why I was being so awful to him."
"But we did deceive you, Alex, and for that, regardless of our reasons, we apologize. We just couldn't think of another way to make you decide."
"It was horrible, being so mean to Walter all the time. I was damn glad when you finally chose us over being safe. It was such a relief to know I didn't have to act that way anymore."
Mulder raised his head, needing and receiving a kiss from each man. Alex was more than a little stunned, and now as he thought about it all, he spoke worriedly.
"But- but the spanking....I really let you have it, Fox."
"Yeah, you did. And I deserved every swat. I hope I can't sit down for a week. Do you have any idea how guilty I've felt? No, Alex, I meant it when I thanked you for my punishment. I needed it, Alex, trust me." He gave a mischievous grin, and added, "Oh, hey, bonus round on the chewing out, too. I don't think I've ever been called a brat in Italian before."
Alex couldn't help but chuckle, even as he pulled Mulder close again.
"Gods, I love you two. I'm sorry I pushed you to this..."
"Shh, it's okay, Alex. We understand. We're just glad it's past now, and we can go on with our lives."
"Our lives together, Alex." Walter's voice held the ring of gospel, and Alex moved so that he could see both of his lovers.
"Our lives together, as equals."
He was moved to tears to realize he meant it.