A Squicky Tale
or If the Story Squicks, Read It

by Xcraft





Recently we had a discussion on things we thought of as squicks in a story. Many had the same ideas. When I was reading all the posts I wondered to myself if a story containing some of these squicks could still be fun to read. So this is what I came up with. I just wrote as things came into my head and no re-writes so please take that into consideration if it doesn't flow. Besides, a poorly written story is a squick, isn't it? ;-) (If I've learned one thing from Mulder it's always try to cover your ass) See how many squicks you can spot.



Hoover Building
2 p.m. Friday


Mulder entered Skinner's office and closed the door behind him. "You wanted to spank me, Sir?... See me! I..I mean see me, Sir." he stammered. (Smooth Mulder. That sounded guilty. Why not just ask for it.)

Skinner raised an eyebrow and glared at Mulder for a moment. "Sit down Agent Mulder,.... while you still can." he added cryptically.

"Uhm...Sir? I'm not sure what you wanted to see me about. The last case went smoothly and..."

"Mulder." Skinner interrupted. "I want to know what's been going on with you lately."

(God, I hate vague questions) "Nothing, Sir." (Oh, that sounded convincing!)

Eye contact was something Mulder found impossible to maintain with Skinner for any length of time and he soon began to fidget and play with the buttons on his coat. Skinner studied him for a minute or two. It had been quite awhile since their last session and it was becoming abundantly clear that another was way over due.

"Mulder, I want you back here at 7pm. I think we have some things to discuss"

"But, Sir... I..."

"Mulder, that will be all. You can go now and don't be late young man."

(Young man? Shit! I don't like the sound of that.) Mulder quickly left the room and made his way through the halls and down to the safety of his basement office. (Damn, how does he do that to me? Nothing went wrong on that last case.) He tried to convince himself. (He's just baiting me. Trying to trip me up so he can punish me. So maybe there were a couple things I didn't mention from the last case, but he doesn't need to know everything and my time is none of his business.) His agitation was growing. (He's gotten waaaay too comfortable with this spanking stuff ever since we started this agreement.)

The agreement between Mulder and Skinner had started over a year ago after a particularly bad case. One that Mulder would really rather forget. To make matters worse, Scully accidentally walked in on one of their sessions at Mulder's apartment about 6 months ago. She walked in to find Mulder bare-assed over Skinner's knees. And, much to Mulder's embarrassment and her unease, Skinner asked her to stay. To make a long story short, she was now Skinner's ally, much to Mulder's dismay.

"Who does he think he is!" Mulder was mumbling to himself as he entered the office.

"Ooooh, somebody's in trouble.", she said in a sing song fashion.

Mulder glared at her and sat down hard in his chair exhaling loudly. "What do you mean?"

"Oh come on Mulder, tell me what's up. You know I can tell when Skinner is in your case."

"Did he say anything to you?" Mulder's eyes narrowed as Scully shook her head. "Did you say anything to him?"

"No Mulder, I wouldn't do that." A slight smile pulling at the corners of her mouth making Mulder more uncomfortable.

"Scully!" He whined. "I'm leaving!" He rose abruptly and headed for the door.

"What about Skinner?" Scully called after him.

"What about him!", he said as he left, his mind already on more important things, like how to save his ass.



Mulder's Apartment
7:00pm Friday


"He thinks I'm going to show up at his office just so he can beat my ass? Not this time!" Mulder entered is apartment stuffing his tie into his coat pocket and throwing it at a nearby chair. It missed and ended up in a pile on the floor.

"That's no way to treat nice clothes, Mulder." He jumped at the sound of the familiar voice.

"Alex! What in the hell are you doing here!?"

"Oh, nothing." Krycek said innocently, a sly grin on his face. "I just thought I'd pay the department's best looking, after me of course, agent a visit." His hand running along Mulder's shoulders as he moved past him to sit on the couch.

"Damn it Alex, I'm not in the mood for your games."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. What's the matter, Skinner after your butt again?" Alex teased.

Mulder picked up a magazine and threw it at Krycek. The motion brought him within reach and Krycek grabbed his wrist and pulled him onto the couch. Mulder had reached his breaking point and elbowed Alex hard in the chest. The two began wrestling. Arms and legs entwined in a power struggle. All too soon Mulder found himself at a disadvantage. A big disadvantage, over Krycek's knees, his nose about 3 inches from the carpet. (Gee, I really ought to vacuum.) His mind was brought back to reality as a hard swat landed on his backside. Krycek's hand came down again and again on the seat of Mulder's thin dress slacks.

"I told you I was going to get back at you for ditching me like someone's bad date!" Alex ground out between whacks.

"Alex! Uhhh.... Cut it out!" Mulder yelled over his shoulder.

"No way Foxy boy, you've got this coming!" Krycek continued to bring his hand down as hard as he could. "Besides, I kind of like the view and I'm enjoying this too much!"

"Alex! Stop it!"

They were both making so much noise they didn't hear the apartment door open or notice the large figure that now stood in the middle of the room. Skinner crossed is large arms over his chest and cleared his throat, "Hmmm, hmm".

Two sets of eyes were immediately on him, mouths open, a look of surprise on their faces.

"I see I've gotten here just in time.", Skinner said in low, menacing voice as he began to remove his belt.

"OH SHIT!!", cried out two voices in unison from the couch. Both of the younger men began to scramble to their feet.

"Get off me!"

"You get off me!"

Skinner put his foot on the edge of the coffee table and shoved it out of the way. The noise and sudden movement catching the of Mulder and Krycek. Both began backing away from the angry AD who stood in front of them.

"Mulder, y-you talk to him." Alex said as he pulled Mulder in front of him.

"No way!" Mulder sidestepped and pulled Alex back in front. Soon both were wrestling, grabbing and pulling the other to form a buffer between themselves and the extremely pissed man in front of them.

"Mulder! Do you know what fucking time it is!?" Skinner yelled, his belt clenched in his right fist.

"I'm not.... I mean, I'm s-sorry! The meeting, oh God! I'm sorry Sir. Please, I didn't realize what time it was." Mulder was lying, but thought this was better than admitting he missed it on purpose.

"I knew this was your fault!" Krycek yelled as he punched Mulder in the arm.

"Well, if you hadn't decided I needed my ass whipped, I would have made that meeting!" Mulder spat back returning the punch.

"ENOUGH!!" Skinner's face was turning a dangerous shade of red. The belt in his hand whipped out catching Mulder on the thigh. "Any ass whipping going on around here is going to be done by me! And, boys, that's just what is going to happen. Now, I suggest that if either of you any skin left on those butts of yours, you'd better get them into the bedroom, NOW!"

Deciding the risk of trying to get past Skinner was too great, both of the younger men bolted toward the bedroom. Skinner aided their progress with a well placed backhanded swipe of his belt to Krycek's ass. The AD was right on their heels, his belt snaking out catching anything in it's path. Once in the bedroom, Skinner slammed the door behind him.

"Pants down boys! Over to the bed! MOVE IT!!"

Both Mulder and Krycek turned toward the bed, frantically unbuckled their belts and dropped their trousers. Skinner placed a hand on each back and shoved them both over the edge of the bed.

"Bare those asses, boys!"

Skinner's stern voice left no room for arguments. Two pairs of hands began lowering the last bit of protection between them and a nasty piece of leather.

"I'll get you for this Mulder!" Alex whispered loudly.

"SHUT! UP!" Mulder shot back, risking a look over his shoulder. He immediately wished he hadn't. Skinner was wrapping his belt around his hand leaving about a foot and a half hanging. He brought his hand up past his right shoulder and, with all his strength, brought the belt down on Mulder's waiting backside. CRACK! The sound was like a pistol shot. Mulder's head shot up followed by a sharp intake of breath. Skinner's follow through brought his hand past his left shoulder and he unleashed a mighty backhanded lash to Krycek's yet unblemished ass. Another sharp CRRAAACK rang out and Alex's head shot up as well. Skinner was well beyond angry and the strength behind the blows showed it. He continued his forehand and backhand strokes. CRRAAACK! CRRAAACK! CRRAAACK! CRRAAACK! Over and over the belt came down. He ignored the yelps and moans coming from the bed and continued strapping the two dancing backsides until they were thoroughly reddened. As his anger gradually gave way to rational thinking, Skinner dropped his arms to his sides. Beads of sweat clung to his forehead and slowly trailed down his back. His shirt clung to his torso and his rapid breathing returned to normal. The two young men on the bed were quietly sobbing. Mulder had the bedspread clenched in both hands and pulled tightly around his head. Krycek's head rested on his forearms and slowly rolled side to side. Realizing the strapping had ended, Mulder and Krycek slowly eased themselves up off the bed. Both wincing as they pulled up their shorts and trousers. They stood there quietly, heads lowered. Mulder used his shirtsleeve to wipe his eyes. There was an uneasy silence in the room, Skinner's glare keeping their nerves on edge.

Skinner grabbed Alex roughly and pulled him out of the room. He half dragged him to the front door, "Stay way from here, Alex!" Skinner shouted as he shoved him into the hall and slammed the door. There was a quiet knock at the door a couple seconds later.

"WHAT!" barked Skinner as he opened the door.

"M-my coat.", Alex pointed into the apartment. "C-can I get my coat... Sir?"

Skinner turned slightly and Alex edged by him, retrieved his coat, and ducked back out. Skinner swatted the already sore backside as it went past him causing Alex to yelp. He closed the door and walked back into the living room. Mulder was leaning his shoulder against the wall. His arms were crossed, almost hugging himself. His face was flushed and his eyes were teary and red. His lip stuck out in an adorable pout.

"Sir?" he said quietly, eyes fixed on the floor. "I'm s-sorry I forgot the meeting."

Skinner stepped in front of him and grabbed his upper arms, "Forgot Mulder?" He shook him slightly and sighed. "I knew you'd been seeing Krycek. That's why I wanted you at my office tonight. And I know you didn't just forget that meeting Mulder. You missed it on purpose, didn't you. I was going to surprise Krycek here myself. I just wanted you out of the way so I could deal with him." He released his grip and walked to retrieve his overcoat from a chair. "You just can't follow orders, can you."

Mulder just shrugged not trusting his voice to talk yet.

"Get some things together. You're coming to my place for the weekend."

"What?...... Why?" Mulder whined. "Why do I have to come with you? I don't want to. I want to stay..." He was cut off by a slap. Not too hard. Just enough to get his attention.

"Mulder, just do it. You've got five minutes young man." Skinner looked at his watch to start timing.

Mulder turned and dragged his feet to the bedroom like a doomed man. (Great! This is all I need. I really don't want to go with him.) He threw a few things into a bag. (God, I can't believe this. Who does he think he is, my father?)

"Mulder, let's go!"

"Coming, Sir." (Oh, that'll show him. Coming Master, Whatever you say Master.)

Soon they were in Skinner's car. Mulder sat as far away from his boss as possible, practically hugging the passenger door. His nerves were on edge and his legs bounced up and down. Mulder stared out the side window trying to figure out what was going through Skinner's head and what was in store for him. Finally he couldn't take any more and shouted. "What the hell is going on! I haven't done anything and you're NOT my father!

Skinner's grip tightened on the wheel until his knuckles were white. He shook his head and clenched his teeth, but said nothing. At the next stop light Mulder opened the door and jumped out.

"MULDER! Get back in the car!!", the anger clear in Skinner's voice.

Mulder just ignored him and ran down the sidewalk. (Damn it Mulder, don't listen to him!) Skinner slammed his fist on the wheel and turned the corner. Mulder was nearing a gas station so Skinner pulled in and jumped out of the car.

"Mulder!", he yelled. He was really angry now and had to work hard to control himself.

"Fuck off! Leave me alone!" Mulder shouted back.

"Damn it!" Skinner strode towards him. "Mulder, don't make a scene! Get back in the car!" As he neared him, Mulder swung at him. Skinner caught his hand and brought it up behind his back, spinning Mulder to face the car. He pushed him forward and bent him over the hood. Skinner took out his handcuffs and cuffed Mulder's hands behind his back.

"Damn it Walter! Get off of me! Mulder lifted his head to see if anyone noticed the scuffle and his now undignified position. Thankfully it was dark and they weren't under any bright lights. Hoping nobody was watching, Skinner landed a firm swat to Mulder's available backside. Mulder blushed instantly. He was pulled to his feet and re-deposited in the in the front seat of the car. Skinner walked to the other side and got behind the wheel. The rest of the ride to Skinner's apartment was in silence.



Crystal City
8:45pm Friday


Mulder was silent all the way up to Skinner's apartment. Once they were inside and the door was closed the silence ended.

"GET THESE FUCKING CUFFS OFF ME!!"

Skinner grabbed the back of Mulder's shirt and sat him down hard in the nearest chair. "Just cool off! I'll take them off when I'm ready."

Mulder sat in the chair and rocked back and forth, his backside still smarting from the recent belting. Skinner paced in front of him trying to regain his composure. He ran his hand over his face and neck and removed his coat and tie, throwing them on the couch.

"Mulder." Skinner began. "I haven't liked your attitude lately."

"My attitude!" Mulder shouted. "What are you, my guidance counselor now!?"

Skinner was on him in a second. He grabbed his shirt front and pulled him to his feet. "Quiet!" He spun him around and marched him to the nearest corner. "I think we both need time to cool off Mulder. I'm going to take a shower and you are going to keep your nose in this corner and think. When you ready to get out all you have to do is come to me and say, 'My attitude isn't what it should be. I've been bad and I need to be punished.'"

"What! Are you nuts! I'm not going to say that crap and..." The rest was cut off by a wicked smack on Mulder's upper thigh. "Owww! Damn it Walter, that hurt! Please, just take the cuffs off and we can talk!"

"No Mulder. The cuffs stay on. I don't think you'll try running away with them on. And you WILL come and ask me to punish you. You WILL ask me to put you over my knee and spank you."

"Please. I..I can't. I w-won't." Mulder pouted.

Skinner lifted the cuffed hands and swatted Mulder hard again. "You will if you want to get out of this corner young man!" He moved away and started up the stairs. "I wouldn't move from that spot if you know what's good for you boy." Skinner used his best 'dad' voice. The one he remembered always worked with him.

Mulder banged his head lightly against the wall.(I won't. I'm not going to do it. Shit, I can't ask him to spank me. It's different when he just does it, but to ask for it? No way! I can be just as stubborn as he is.)

A half an hour later Skinner back down wearing jeans and a T-shirt. "Well Mulder? Do you have anything to ask me?" Other than some whispered muttering there was no response from the sullen figure in the corner. "Fine. We have all weekend Mulder." Skinner turned towards the kitchen, "I'm going to make dinner, but you won't be eating 'till you ask for your punishment."

A little bit later there was a knock at he door and Mulder's chest tightened immediately. He looked over his shoulder watching Skinner walk to the door and gave him a pitiful look.

Skinner glared at him and hissed, "Stay!"

"Ruff!" Mulder did his best dog imitation and instantly regretted it. Skinner's eyes darkened and Mulder returned his gaze to the well memorized corner. (Oh great! That helped.)

As the door opened, Mulder heard a voice he recognized easily. "Hi Sir. Have you seen Mulder?"

(Shit! Don't let her in. Don't let her in.)

"Hi Scully. As a matter of fact I have. Why don't you come in and join me for dinner." Skinner stepped to the side inviting Scully in.

(Shit!) A quiet moan came from the corner and Mulder wished he had the power to disappear.

"Uh...um... Walter? Why is Mulder handcuffed and standing in the corner of your living room?"

"He's been a very bad boy." he answered, directing his voice to the blushing young man in the corner.

"Ohhhh!" Scully couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face.

"I'm going to finish the dinner. Do you want to join me in the kitchen?"

"Sure, in a minute. I want to talk to Mulder first." Scully moved to Mulder's side as Skinner left the room. "Mulder, what's up?"

"Scully. you've got to help me. Maybe if you talk to him. Please?"

"What did you do this time? She pushed back his hair and caressed his cheek softly.

Mulder leaned his head into her hand, "I don't know, he doesn't like my attitude. I'm supposed to stay here 'till....I have to, um....Oh, God!"

"What? You have to what?"

"I can't Scully." Mulder's face scrunched up. "He wants me to... to..... ask for," A blush quickly spread over his face and he rested his head against the wall. "Can you do something about the cuffs Scully? My arms are getting numb." He hoped his pout would at least work on Scully.

"I'll see what I can do Mulder. Just hang in there." She patted him on the back and headed into the kitchen.

Upon entering the kitchen Scully paused to take in the view. Broad shoulders encased in a tight white T-shirt tapering to narrow hips and a well sculpted ass trapped in faded tight jeans. Two muscular tan arms flexed as Skinner stirred the sauce on the stove. And those big strong hands. She wouldn't mind getting reacquainted with those hands right now. Scully moved to his side and let her hand trail slowly up the strong back. "Mmmm, something smells good."

A smile played across Skinner's lips. He bent down and kissed the soft red hair. "So, what did he tell you?"

"Well, I'm not really sure. He was having a hard time completing his sentences. Maybe you could fill me in."

"I don't really want to get into the whole thing. I've finally cooled down a little. Let's just say some of his past actions and his recent attitude have gotten out of hand and a certain agent is in need of a reminder. I've decided to have him ask me for his punishment and, as you can imagine, he's not too anxious to do so." Skinner sighed heavily and wiped his hands on the towel stuck in the waistband of his jeans.

"Oh, you are wicked Walter." Scully responded with a knowing smile. "Uhm...how about the cuffs. Can they come off?"

"Yeah, I think I'll bring him in here so I can keep an eye on him. He already tried to run once. That's the reason for the cuffs." Scully raised her eyebrows with that little bit of information. "Mulder!" Skinner called. "Come in here."

Mulder jumped at the sound of his name. (Come in there? Why? No way! If he wants me, he can come and get me.) The sound of approaching footsteps made him nervous and he turned in time to see a scowling Skinner heading for him. "I..I was just coming." he burst out as he started towards him. As he passed, Skinner grabbed his arm and turned him sideways. Mulder closed his eyes and cringed expecting a swat to his backside, but instead he felt the cuffs being removed from his wrists. Mulder rubbed the numbness away as he was directed by the firm pressure of a hand on his lower back into the kitchen and directly into the corner.

"Any time you're ready Mulder, just ask, I'm right here." Mulder felt a chill run up his back as Skinner's lips tickled his ear. "Okay Scully, I guess you and I can dig in."

"Excuse me, but would it be possible to get a glass of water. I'm so dry I can hardly swallow." Mulder pouted and added a small cough for effect.

"Sure Mulder." Skinner filled a glass and took it to him. Mulder reached for it and Skinner slapped his hand away. "Nuh uh, I'll hold the glass. I wouldn't want any mishaps, like this water ending up on me." Mulder was sorely tempted to do just that. "Drink." Mulder sighed, rolled his eyes and drank.

Dana and Walter chatted and laughed while they ate. Their conversation frequently focused on the fidgeting form in the corner.

"Hey guys, I'm right here you know. You don't have to talk about me like I'm not in the room."

Scully got up and walked over to Mulder. "Mulder, honey, why don't you just ask Walter to spank you and get this over with?"

"S-c-u-l-l-y! Would you?" Mulder whined.

"I have." She decided to let the cat out of the bag. (Walter might not like, but too bad. Anyway, this could be fun.)

"What!" A look of shock on Mulder's face.

Skinner choked on his water and started coughing, a faint blush rising over his face.

"Well, I have." She glanced over at Walter. "I bet you never knew spanking was a turn on for me, did you Mulder."

Mulder shook his head, his jaw slack from this revealing news from his partner.

Skinner wasn't sure if he was ready for all this to come out, but thought, (Hell, if that's the way she wants to play it then let's make this more interesting.) "Dana", he spoke up, "Why don't you give Mulder a little demonstration?" He crossed his arms over his chest, a sly grin on his face. Both Mulder and Scully were caught off-guard and stared at Skinner dumbfounded. "Come over here, young lady, and show Mulder how easy it is." Skinner patted his thigh.

Scully blushed and hesitated earning her a stern glare from the seated man. She slowly approached, her demeanor changing from confident FBI agent to cautious young woman.

Mulder watched in disbelief. (Oh-my-God! I can't believe this. Scully and Skinner? How'd I miss that. She wants him to spank her? Is she nuts?)