"Gavin?"
He turned slightly at the sound of Ali's voice and nodded a greeting. She was standing just a few feet away, holding back. "Are you all right?"
He nodded affirmation but didn't reply otherwise. She shifted from foot to foot. "Um.. where's your sister?"
He shrugged a little. "Lodgin' house. Told her to work on some of her school work."
She nodded. "Oh.. right."
"Ali." He glanced at her wearily. "What is it?"
She looked down. "I talked to Caesar... Scythe is dead." Gavin only sat down and shook his head. Ali watched him for a while before sitting down as well. "Is something wrong? I though this would have been.. well, you know."
He shook his head again. "He's not dead, Ali."
"What? But.." She hesitated, confused, "Caesar said he was."
"Maybe he is. It doesn't matter."
She paused, unsure of how to take all of this. "Gavin? What do you mean?"
"He still wins."
She shook her head. "He's dead, Gavin. You don't have to worry about it anymore. He can't win."
Gavin shook his head again stubbornly. "He's not dead, Ali. He's not."
"Gavin, I don't.." She sighed, worried, "I don't understand."
"It doesn't matter that he's not dead, Ali. I still lose." Gavin said, the frustration finally taking over, "He tried to kill me and he wins because he gets shot and she only cares about him. He threatens to kill me, pushes me around, and he still wins. Nothing I do matters, because she only cares about him. That's why she ended things with me. And he won again. He's dead now and that's all she'll care about. Chances are the baby will be his too. You see? He still wins. Him daying was just the ultimate way of proving that I was the loser. It's just like he's saying, 'See? Even when I'm gone you can't beat me.' It doesn't matter that he's dead, Ali, because he'll just haunt me for the rest of my life."
She bit her lip. "It'll get better."
He shook his head. "Doesn't matter. Just don't worry about it." He stood and brushed himself off. "You should get back to the lodging house."
Gavin crept silently down the hall towards the source of the melancholy tune that drifted out of the kitchen. Hight pitched and eerie, the ghostly sound of the instrument mad the music seem all the more sad. As he reached the doorway he could just make out long, aristocratic fingers flitting over the holes of a tin whistle. Ali's hands.
He stepped farther into the room so that he was in her line of sight and she froze. The music came to a sudden stop, leaving only the last note to linger in the air.
"What were you playing?" He asked after a brief pause. A chair screeched against the floor as he pulled it out and sat down a safe distance from her.
She lowered the penny whistle just a little and stared at him for a moment. Finally she said softly, "The False Bride."
She gave a small, shy nod in reply and began to put away the whistle.
"You don't have to stop. Think you could play something else?"
She glanced at him uncertainly and sent another nod in his direction. He smiled and waited until she began to play another airy, melancholy tune. He smiled as she stopped playing. "What was that one?"
"Sally Gardens." She replied, still reserved as ever.
There was a small pause as they both sat silently, Gavin waiting for an opportunity to start a conversation and Ali just waiting for the moment to be over. Finally he cleared his throat. "Haven't talked to you in a while." He started. After all, it was true. They had hardly said two words to each other since he had started dating Gervaise. "How have you been?"
She glanced at him and shrugged. "Fine. You?"
"Um, I've been good." There was an uncomfortable pause and a mutual though silent understanding that each knew the other was lying. It wasn't long before he felt the need to try starting a conversation again. "So... what brings you down to the kitchen to play music in the middle of the night?"
She gave a slight shrug. "Didn't feel like sleeping."
"Yeah, me neither... You're really a night owl, aren't you?" The only answer he received in return was another shrug. "And a quiet one at that."
She gave a small smile but said nothing. He sighed and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Ali, is something wrong?"
She looked down and shook her head.
"You can tell me, you know."
There was a pause and she kept her eyes focused on the table, away from him. Finally, she hesitantly spoke up. "Do you ever wonder..." She trailed off, loosing whatever courage had made her start the question.
"Do I ever wonder?"
She shook her head. "Nothing."
He watched her carefully, debating over how to respond to her. Did he wonder? She hadn't finished her question, but he had a feeling that he understood the rest of it. It left him unsure of what to do. Should he just leave it alone? After all, he couldn't be sure, he couldn't read her mind. But at the same time, he had a feeling that it would be the wrong move to make. He glanced over at the cabinets as he tried to decide. "Do I ever wonder?" He glanced at her and saw that she had gradually began to look at him, almost hopefully. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."
He caught a small smile before she looked away. There was another lapse in conversation as Gavin smiled a little and looked over at the cabinets again. Before he long he heard Ali start to play the whistle again, this time a tune he recognized. He hummed along for a line or two and then quietly began to sing the words to "Loch Lomond."
He nodded slightly. "It's pretty. Didn't know you could play."