The Casual Restaurant Critic
You might agree or disagree with my opinions, but that's life, isn't it? And no, I get no commissions or kickbacks from any of the places favorably reviewed - I do this entirely for my own amusement and your information. This, by the
way, is the one part of NotTheNews that often features POSITIVE critiques, so to those
of you whining about NotTheNews being too negative, get off my case.

Italianni's
December, 2004

Italianni's actually opened at the end of 2004 in Merida. The Critic says actually because the location it is in, the Gran Plaza mall, is run by some pretty unscrupulous folks who are not afraid to announce the opening of this or that store or restaurant just to stir up some interest and increase the value of their real estate. Italianni's had their logo painted on the walls for the longest time and everyone just assumed it was another ploy.

photo shamelessy ripped off from their websiteWell, they finally got around to transforming the space into another copy of the 'typical' Italian restaurant; their twist is that it is more family oriented and that the portions are so large because they are meant to be shared. At least that's the concept outlined on their website and explained to the Critic and Party upon arrival.

It must be stated at this point that this is not your normal restaurant critique; rather, it is an evaluation of their training methods, since the Critic and Co. were invited as guests to be a part of their training program. Guinea pigs in exchange for a free meal. The Critics job was to pretend to be a restaurant customer in order to facilitate Italianni's in the training of their personnel... perfect.

There was a brief explanation by some corporate type female staff member at the door, indicating that this was a training session, that the food was on the house but the drinks were not, and that the waiter and service was probably going to be less than perfect and that tips were always appreciated (this level of detail probably necessary for all those cheap locals who think that getting invited to the restaurant (FREE FOOD!!!!) entitles them to play the part of Donald Trump for a few hours)

A hostess took the party to the the table, presented menus and was on her way without much further ado. Some time later a hand wringing obviously nervous waiter who bore more than a casual resemblance to Mr. Bean in the Critic's humble opinion arrived at the table to do his little song and dance routine which he was obviously reciting directly from the Italianni's Official Waiter Manual, complete with facial expressions and hand gestures.

After much back and forth about drinks, questions regarding the menu available during the training period and so on, he left with the order, which consisted of salad, pasta, pizza and dessert. Specialty house drinks were also ordered after it was made abundantly clear by the Critics party that these were going to be paid for and no one expected them to be free.

The short version, since this is not a restaurant critique per se, is that the service did in fact suck, and the food was average at best. The ice cold Caesar salad was excellent, the pasta so-so (you can make better pasta at home) and the pizza was not at all to the Critic's likeness as they say on menus in some parts of the formerly white city. Go to Boston's for pizza.

The interesting thing about this experience, and this is the part that the Critic wants to write about today, is that during the entire time the waiter 'waited' there was absolutely no one around to supervise, correct, help or direct. While dirty dishes between courses sat on the table, a literal crowd of other wait staff stood about two tables away, completely oblivious to the fact that there was something to do. These dishes stayed on the table until the next course was ready, in spite of the fact that the waiter and many of the other employees walked by several times. The food took an enormously long time to arrive, but the Critic wasn't in the kitchen to see if anyone there was checking on things.

And on the way out, everyone was sure to practice their newly learned Italian farewell, straight out of the Official Manual in the section called When Customers (Amici?) Leave - What To Say. At no point did someone (management perhaps? Hello?) ask for comments, feedback, suggestions, criticism, overall impression with they way things were being handled etc. etc. And you can be SURE that the Critic and Party were READY with a boatload of comments. The only thing left at the table was a miniscule piece of paper asking for name, mailing and email address and birthday info; the paper had two small lines for 'Comments' which wasn't even enough to begin.

Obviously, this whole charade was for 'display only' and also part of the Official Manual, Soft Opening Program.

If you are going to open your doors and have real live customers for your wait staff, bus people and hostesses to practice on, you should really take advantage of this great opportunity to have experienced supervisory staff handholding at every step of the process to ensure that the maximum benefit is obtained. Otherwise, nothing is learned! The only thing the Critic and Co. could discern from the masses of staff lounging about was one or two more experienced waiters helping other newer employees carry large trays correctly.

In the opinion of the Casual Restaurant Critic, this was a magnificent training opportunity completely wasted.

After the dust settles, the Casual Restaurant Critic will return to Italianni's and re-evaluate everything for the benefit of those readers who actually enjoy reading all this nonsense.

Italianni's is located in the Gran Plaza shopping mall. You don't have to go into the mall to get into the restaurant, there is an entrance from the street. While they don't seem to place much value in their training, they do have valet parking in case you are too damn lazy to park in the parkade exactly 50 feet away.

Casual Critic Rating:
NotRatedYet
 

Beginning 1999, the Critic started rating the places he visited. Here's the scoop:

 

back to the main page