The Telephone Directory
by Yours Truly - Is Nothing Sacred Anymore?
11/20/01
"Si funciona, y funciona muy bien" (It works, and really well).
Catchy advertising slogan for the local directorio telefonico, huh? Well, if you are looking for certain things or certain people, it doesn't work so well after all; in fact, it's downright sloppy and unprofessional. Of course, this isn't a local critique, since this editorial mess is produced elsewhere; probably in the Ciudad de Mexico, where you think they would be much more professional.
If you have ever advertised in the phone book, you know how expensive it is. For that kind of money, you should be getting a quality product that does what it's supposed to, efficiently and correctly. Your listing should appear in the section corresponding to your business type. For example, if you are the Banco Bilbao Vizcainza, that new blue spanish bank that took over the customer-service-challenged Bancomer (thank god) you would expect to find your listing in Banks, Financial Institutions, Credit or some other money-related category. But, in this book, in the yellow pages, have a look in the section entitled Galletas (cookies). The first listing is for... you guessed it, Banco Bilbao Vizcaina or BBV.
Oh, the yellow people will complain, that is the section that the customer asked for on his form! Yes, but the final responsability of producing an accurate and efficient sales tool for the customer lies with you, yellow page executive person. So if your client screwed up, it's your job to set him or her straight! And if the customer didn't get it wrong and the yellow people did the insertion on their own, then they are more careless than they already would appear.
What a nitpicking idiot, some readers are probably thinking. But this is not an isolated case. The yellow pages are full of them! Here are some samples:
and this one, my favorite so far:
And my super-peeve, "Materiales". If you are looking for construction or electrical supplies and materials, you would think there would be a section entitled Construction, Materials; or Electricity, Materials; or something along those lines. Here this would be a futile search. In Meridas' yellow pages, you must wade from page 570 through to page 606, perusing Materiales de Construccion, Materiales Didacticos, Materiales para Decoracion, Materiales This and Materiales That. This is the stooooooooopidest form of organizing businesses that I have ever seen in a phone book!
A quick peek at the white pages reveal some glaring mistakes that obviously someone overlooked in the editing process - perhaps they were too busy counting their revenues to properly review the job at hand. On page 104 you will find the usual format of last name first name reversed, so that all the Joses are listed under J and you have to skim through them to find their last names which are entered second. This also happened to the Julians and the Julias who are also on that page and had the misfortune to have their names data-entried by someone very tired, very illiterate or very much the clown. On page 40, some Carlos's had the same bad luck.
If you are looking for someone you knew way back when, and that person is a she, the sexist white pages make it your obligation to know the last name of her husband, since that is the name that appears first; as in: Aranda, Marta Eugenia Rodriguez de 987-XXXX.
A better way of doing this, respecting the local tradition of the possessive macho thing "de fulano" would be:
Rodriguez de Aranda, Marta Eugenia 987-XXXX.
"Si funciona, y funciona muy bien".
Yeah, right; maybe so, but it could funcionar a lot more bien if they took a little more time and care in the editing and printing of what is otherwise a normal advertising tool for many businesses not only in Merida, but around the globe.