"There are two kinds of websites in this world: unique, entertaining, informative bastions of original content, and cheezy personal pages of interest only to their creators. This is one of the latter."
--Gen. George S. Patton

Way back in early '96, I christened my first website right here at GeoCities. Over the next half-decade, it was updated about four times. Now, in the new millenium (there's one thing we can stop arguing about, anyway...), I'm trying one more time. The original site's contents included Star Wars, RPGs (pencil and paper, none o' this newfangled Everquest crap), original fiction, and radical left-wing ranting. I even flirted with highly selective movie news for a while (wanna know what isn't happening with the proposed Alien vs. Predator film?). This time, though, we're gonna start off a teensy bit less ambitiously. So, without any further Apu, I give to you [cue blaze of trumpets] THE CONTENTS:

The Home of Happiness

Pointless Stuff From the Old Site, Part I

Pointless Stuff From the Old Site, Part II

About Me

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This page is not affiliated with the Home of Happiness cast, Twentieth Century Fox, LucasFilm Ltd, Microsoft, the Bavarian Illuminati, Georgio Armani, the John Dillinger Died for You Soiety Robert Goulet, Jesus of Nazareth, Super Dave Osborn, the Thundercats, the FCC, the CIA, the RCC, the PGPOG, the GOP, or NAMBLA. Contains Phenylalanine. If you are pregnant or nursing, avoid prolonged contact with this site. Do not taunt this site. Proven to be an effective decay-preventive dentifrice when used in a conscientiously applied program of oral hygiene and professional care. May be unsuitable for those with irritable bowels. Contents copyright © 2001, by Michael P. Stueber. Unauthorized reproduction punishable by flogging. "Michael P. Stueber" is a registered trademark of the Union Carbide Corporation, a subsidiary of Dennis Franz Doughnuts, Inc. Sponsored by Übernostrum. "Du mußen mehr gut gefülen, mit Übernostrum!"