"Hood to Hero"

It was a late evening. A dark figure strolled down the streets of Portland,
Oregon. A street lamp flickered, then turned on, shedding light on the form
of Lee Jordan. Lee darted out of the light. It had been a week since he had
been caught again and sent back to jail. It had taken him all day to sneak
past the guards. Now, he slipped through a gap in a stone wall.

He was now in a zoo. Lee creeped quietly to the reptile house. Reading the
placard by light of a flashlight, he settled on a glass box. He pulled out a
pair of glass cutters, and began to slice. He smiled. His cousin, Mortimer,
was going to think twice before joining Acme.

Early the next morning, Zack was reporting for duty. "Good morning, Chief."

"Good morning, Zack. Where's Ivy?"

"Oh, out for a walk. She'll be here soon."

"By the way, Zack. A package arrived a few minutes ago. It's simply addressed
to Acme. Why don't you open it? It's right on the control panel."

Zack eyed the box warily. He picked it up. He shook it. No sound. "Chief, if
I hear ticking, call the bomb squad."

"The bomb squad? Zack, do you have to be so suspicious?"

"Not taking any chances." The detective listened to the box. Still no sound.
Then he carefully peeled off the tape. Zack carefully tilted the box away
from him and turned it. He screamed.

Out of the box slid a live, moving snake! Zack fainted from fright.

"Zack! Help! Somebody!" the Chief yelled.

Mortimer Jordan ran in. He glanced at the fallen Zack and the control panel
and sized up the situation. He took the box and slid it so the snake was
swept back in its prison. Mortimer then helped Zack up.

"Was that a poisonous snake?" the Chief asked.

"Too right it was," Mortimer replied. "That was a water moccasin."

"Do you know about zoology?" asked Zack.

"A little," Mortimer replied. "I mostly know about electronics. I have a
bachelor's degree in the field."

Ivy came in. "Zack, ready for our break?" Ivy glanced at Mortimer. She hoped
he wouldn't invite himself to go with them. Happily, he didn't.

"We're not leaving for three hours!"

"OK, so we have to kill a little time. So what? Let's play guess the person,"
Ivy answered. "Chief, what was the name of that Welsh rebel? Born in 1287,
invaded England, deposed of Edward II, then ruled until 1330 until Charles
III took power. What was his name? Roger de..." she looked pointedly at
Mortimer, "Mortimer!"

Mortimer didn't answer.

Ivy eyed the package. "Let me guess...a hundred scorpions? Which you,
Mortimer, stuffed in a Fed-Ex package."

"Ivy, stop it!" the Chief screeched. "It's not like he put a BOMB in it or
anything."

Ivy pulled out a stack of papers. "I've got his whole criminal record. Did
you steal Trevor Lawrance's lunch in first grade?"

"What? They go that far?" asked a perplexed Mortimer.

Ivy groaned.

Three hours later, Zack and Ivy were relaxing on a ski resort in Norway. They
were stepping out of their cabin when....

a snowmobiler nearly plowed them down.

"Hey," the two cried in unison.

The snowmobiler turn around. "Your deduction skills must be dulling.
Otherwise, you would have known who nearly pancaked you back there." He began
to pull off his mask. "It's the one, the only.."

"Lee Jordan!" Zack and Ivy cried in unison.

Back in San Francisco, the Acme Headquarters was almost quiet.

Just then, a posse of police officers burst in. "Mortimer Jordan, you are
under arrest. You have the right to remain silent."

The Chief looked surprised. "I made a deal. He can stay here and work for
Acme, if he hasn't commited a crime. So far, he's held up his promise."

The officer looked at him. "We're investigating a past crime. We've even got
an eyewitness to the stand. Name of Roger Dellaway. Trial's tomorrow."

Mortimer's face paled.

Back at the ski lodge, Zack and Ivy sat in their cabin. Ivy shook her
head."Lee's got the nerve to escape from prison and end up here. I searched
the cabins nearby. He's flown the coop."

Zack interrupted her. "Ivy, don't you think it's the tiniest bit weird that
Lee didn't try to, you know, kill us?" He attempted to open the door.
"Someone's nailed the door shut!"

"Who do you suppose could have done that?"

"Lee Jordan!"

"Sis, do you smell something burning?"

"The cabin's on fire!"

To be continued.....