OK, this fic is written a little differently than others. It's actually the
first of three interconnected stories. The title of the three segments is
"Three Part Harmony".

"Last Laugh"
Late one night, Carmen Sandiego was explaining a new theft to her two
henchmen, Moe Skeeter and Lars Vegas. "Now, we are going to pilfer a valuable
gemstone."

"The Hope Diamond?" asked Moe.

"Or a flawless emerald?" added Lars.

"No, a specimen of painite."

"Never heard of it," the two answered in unison.

"Doesn't surprise me." Carmen replied. "Painite is extremely rare. It's named
after the scientist, Pain."

"How much would one of those be worth?"

"This is not known," Carmen informed. "Painite has never been seen on the
open market. Only three crystals are known."


The clock was striking twelve in the Smithsonian Institution. Two detectives
sat in the eaves.

"Let's go home, Ivy. I'm bored. We've been here all night and Carmen hasn't
tried to steal that crystal yet."

"But, Zack. We know she wants it."

"I'm still bored. Hey, Ivy, your shoe's untied."

Ivy looked down. Zack burst out laughing. "You're wearing loafers! Ha ha ha
ha. Got you last, Ivy! Got you last!"

"Oh, heh, heh. Good one." Ivy gasped. "What's that crawling up your back?"

Zack screamed. "What is it, Ivy? What is it?"

"Nothing. Ha ha. Got you last, Zack!"

Suddenly, a whistle pierced the air.

"Tatyanna's signal. Someone's coming."

"Got company, guys." Josha called from the other side of the exhibit hall.

Soon, Carmen, with Moe and Lars in tow, slipped into the room. They managed
to force open the case and remove the stone in it.

"Your jewel thievery's over!" Ivy called.

"Acme!" Carmen cried, shocked. "How did you learn about this plan?"

"It was easy," Ivy began. "One. A priceless three-of-a-kind gem is your kind
of target."

"Two, we found your gang's footprints outside of here earlier. They must have
been casing the joint." Josha added.

"Three," Tatyanna replied. "Our sources told us you researched the gemstone
just yesterday."

"And four, well, you haven't done anything really outlandish in a while, so
we figured you were due." finished Zack.

"I have it!" Josha cried. "My automatic hall-scrubbing machine will arrest
Carmen for us. I'll be right back." He ran off. Soon the bunch could hear him
say, "Arrest those burglars!"

There was a loud response: "Deviation from direct cleaning orders are
unacceptable!"

A loud argument insued. Finally the bunch could hear Josha beg, "This is your
inventor speaking! Take evasive-AAAH!"

"Oh no." Ivy cried, jumping up. "That machine must have electrocuted him
again. I'm gonna send for a doctor." She ran out.

The lights went out.

Tatyanna lit a torch. But she stumbled and dropped it. The fire alarm went
off. The lights flickered back on.

"I'll stop it!" Zack yelled. He grabbed a fire extinguisher and sprayed it.
The foam extinguished the flames. "Whoops!" Zack stumbled, and the spray
spurted everywhere.

"I feel like I've stumbled into the Acme Comedy Act." Moe muttered.

"They're just a bunch of clowns looking for an audience." Lars commented.

Tatyanna looked at the ceiling. "Why didn't the sprinklers turn on?"

"There's a buit in safety delay-" Zack began.

Too late. The sprinklers turned on. Then they turned off again.

"I know these guys are a lot of laughs," Carmen began. "But it's time to beat
it!"

The lights went out again. The two detectives heard Carmen call, "So, tell
me, who's got the last laugh now?"

The lights turned on again. Zack placed something on the empty stand.

"They're gone now." Tatyanna called.

Josha and Ivy walked in. "Gee, guys, it looks like Carmen got away this
time." Josha noted.

Tatyanna agreed. "It sure looks that way."

Ivy laughed. "Yeah, our plan worked perfectly!"

Zack chuckled. "Carmen's sure gonna be in for a surprise when she gets that
painite home!"

In a hotel in Portland, two figures were talking.

"You want my help? For what?" asked one.

"Of course, I do, Mortimer." answered the second one.

"What do you intend to do?" asked Mortimer.

"I'm planning a small trip to San Francisco. I'll carry out a little
plan.....or my name isn't Lee Jordan."

In Acme Headquarters, the next morning, there was a buzz in the air. "Got you
last, Ivy!" Zack cried.

Just then, Josha came in the room. He reached for his toolbox, but couldn't
lift it. "What the-"

The sound of laughter could be heard from the hall. Tatyanna looked at the
toolbox and pointed to where it had been attached to the table with velcro.

Josha sighed. "Your skirt's torn."

"Where?" Tatyanna asked, running her hand over her skirt.

"You are so easy!"

Ivy groaned and walked out. She had to fill out a few forms.

Zack looked at his fellow jokers. "I'll let you in on a little practical joke
of my own. See this pen? It's equipped with a microcomputer designed to
recognize my fingerprints alone. I've replaced all of Ivy's pens with
examples of these. She tries to use one-and boom! Ink everywhere!"

There was an explosion. Ivy stormed in. Black ink covered her face, hands,
and clothes. There was even ink in her hair.

Zack laughed. "Got you last!"

"Oh, yeah?" Ivy asked. She pulled out a different pen, pushed a button, and
ink sprayed out, covering Zack with red ink.

Zack screamed briefly, but Ivy broke into a laughing fit.

"It's disappearing ink! Hee, hee. Got you last!"
******************************************************************************

***********
At a VILE training center, Moe and Lars were studying the crystal. They
dropped it on the floor.

"My painite!" Carmen gasped.

"Sorry, boss."

Carmen picked up the gemstone and gasped. "There are white specks on this
specimen! Wait a minute. Painite doesn't have white speckles.....but
snowflake obsidian does!"
******************************************************************************

***********
Ivy had gone home to change clothes and wash the ink off. Luckily, it came
right off.
She reentered the control room.

"Don't move, Ivy! There's a bucket of water on the other doorway!" Zack
yelled.

"You put a bucket of water over the doorway?" Tatyanna asked.

"Nah, would be too boring." Zack answered. "A red dessert that has to jell
would be more exciting."

"So you put cherry gelatin in the bucket?" asked Josha.

"Raspberry, actually," Zack replied with a touch of pride.

"Ha." Ivy snapped, "Reverse psychology. You're trying to make me think I
won't fall for it. So the only way to save myself from the booby trap is to
stand in that doorway."

"You're too smart for me." Zack commented as Ivy moved to the other doorway.
"But not smart enough. He pushed a button. A bucket tipped over and drenched
Ivy in red gelatin. He ran to the door laughing. He then punched another
button. A bucket on the ceiling tipped over and drenched Tatyanna and Josha.
The prankster then ran out.

"OK, you guys," Ivy said to them when Zack was out of earshot. "Who wants to
help me 'get Zack last'?"

The two detectives looked at each other. Then they raised their hands.

"Good." Ivy said, smiling. "Now I have an idea. Josha, can you build a
two-way radio?"

Fifteen minutes passed. Josha built a small two-way radio. Tatyanna slipped a
small device in Zack's coat sleeve.

"All right, Ivy." Josha began. "Transmitter's all set. Whenever you're
ready."

Ivy spoke into the mouthpiece. "Zackary!"

"What? Huh?" Zack asked from the other side of the building. "I thought I
heard a voice."

Ivy spoke again. "I am the Phantom Medium. I'd advise you to get out of the
building. I sense some bad vibrations today. If you go out, I'll go away."
She quickly cut off.

An hour passed. "OK, Josha, I've Zack wandering the city alleyways."

"Um, Ivy, hasn't this joke gone far enough?"

"Maybe you should stop," suggested Tatyanna.

"Actually, I was about to yell, 'last laugh', but now the transmission's
breaking up."

"Hmm, it's possible Zack's moved out of range." Josha suggested.

At the same time, Zack walked down an alley. A figure looked up from a
newspaper and spotted him. He threw the paper aside. It was Lee Jordan.

Lee knew Zack would be an easier target than his sister. He quietly
approached, then dove for the detective. But he missed.

Zack whirled around, and noticed Lee. He began to run.

Lee got up, snapping a twig in the process.

"What was that?" asked Tatyanna at the agency.

"Maybe if I boost the inducers," Josha said, fiddling with the radio.

A voice-over from Zack could be heard: "You don't scare me, Lee Jordan!"

Ivy felt her body temperature drop twenty degrees. "No! Come in, Zack! Zack!"

To be continued.....