Disclaimer: The characters of "Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?"
are copyright Dic Productions and Broderbund Software. Carmen
Sandiego is a registered trademark of Broderbund Software.
The "Mighty Ducks" characters are copyright the Walt Disney
Company.
All characters are used without permission. If you wish to distribute
this story, please carry out the proper disclaimers to the following
sections.
Gruesome Twosome
Part 1- I Won't Say I Told You So, Ivy!
By Louisa Swanson
"Hurry up, Iv! We're gonna be late for the game!" Zack cried out to
his older sister. Impatiently he tapped his toes and checked his watch for
the umpteenth time.
"All right, all right, I'm coming!" Ivy called out as she came
bounding down the stairs, the keys to the car in her hand," But if you ask
me, this is just a waste of good gasoline!"
"Well, nobody asked you, so come on! I only hope we don't wind up
with loser seats because of you!"
"ME!! I didn't even want to go to this stupid game! Mom's making me
take you!"
"Can I help it if I'm 14 and I can't get my license yet! Now COME
ON! We're missing one of the coolest hockey teams around play one of the
greatest games around!"
Oh, sure," Ivy couldn't resist saying as they headed for the
car, "Nothing I like better then seeing grown people act like little kids,
slam each other into boards, wrestle each other on extremely thin ice, and
almost kill each other just to get a stupid piece of wood into a tiny net!"
"Now you're talking, sis!" Zack said, "Have I told you about this
particular team which we're about to watch??
"About a million times," Ivy answered, desperately trying to keep her
eyes on the road and not listen to Zack. He wasn't going to go off into this
stupid alien nonsense again...was he?
Yes, he was. "You know sis, it is just so amazing that this team is
better than any other, and they're not even from this planet! They came here
to battle an evil overlord, and..."
"Play hockey in their spare time, and now they're the greatest in
the league!" Ivy finished up for him. "Zack, give it a rest, will yea,
please?! If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred thousand times,
there are no such things as aliens! Honestly, it's bad enough that Carmen
believes in that foolishness, but I've had it with you telling me that dumb
story over and over again! That's not true, it never happened, it never will
happen, EVER!! You've got to stop reading all those dumb comic books! I
swear it's affected your brain!"
"Hah, just you wait, sis! You've got to stop worrying about Carmen
all the time and pick up a newspaper once in a while! Then you'll see I'm
telling the truth! Hey, pull up, we're there!"
Ivy did so, then leaned back in her seat, sighing. She loved her
brother, but sometimes she wished she could push time ahead two more years
so he would be sixteen and have his license, she wouldn't have to chauffeur
him around everywhere, and he would be watching these dumb individuals, who
WEREN'T ALIENS, kill themselves on his own.
"Prepare yourself, sis!" Zack intoned as they stood by the car, "
You are about to witness the greatest hockey stars in the whole universe,
and I do mean universe!"
"For a guy who couldn't wait to get here, you're sure taking up your
own sweet time!" Ivy observed with her hands folded in front of her, "Come
on, let's get this over with!"
* * *
"I don't know about this, Carmen," Professor Sarah Bellum
observed, "Remember what happened last time we tried this?"
"Well, this isn't like "Last time" at all," the beautiful woman
intoned, her bright red trenchcoat flapping around her, "For one thing,
we're not stealing anything so no one will get suspicious! For another,
we're using things that are right here in the lab!"
"Why do you even want to try this, Carmen," Sarah couldn't resist
asking," What are you proving?"
"That nothing's impossible to the greatest thief of all time!
Besides, with an alien helping me out in my capers, I'll be able to steal
many things I've never tried before. Aliens are bound to be far more
advanced than us humans are! If we combine our technology and build even
bigger, even more powerful machines, together we can steal all we want!"
"What's in it for E.T.?" Sarah asked.
"I'm not ungrateful or unkind," Carmen observed. "If he helps me,
I'll split the profits with him 50-50. Share and share alike!"
"How generous of you," Sarah mumbled, as she connected the remaining
wires. "All right, I think everything is ready!"
"It looks fabulous, professor," Carmen praised, standing in front
of the invention. It looked sort of like a chamber with all kinds of wires
and buttons around it. A huge door lead to it, at this point closed. "All
right, professor, ready when you are!"
"Do the honors, Carmen!"
"Here goes," Carmen cried out, pulling a huge switch next to the
door. The lights on it blinked on and off, the two women watched the
computer next to it intensely. Suddenly a strange pattern appeared on it.
Smoke began to flow from the bottom of the door. they couldn't believe their
eyes." I did it," she whispered, " My God, I've really done it!!"
"I cannot believe this!" Sarah cried "Congratulations, Carmen! You
have officially contacted an actual alien!!" when the lights finally turned
off, they could hear sound coming from the door. "Let's open it, shall we?"
Pulling the knob, the door swung open to reveal something the two women had
never seen before in their lives.
"My God," Carmen whispered, "Oh, My Dear God!!"
* * *
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our home team, The Mighty
Ducks!" The announcer's voice came like a huge bang along the rink, giving
Ivy a splitting headache. It didn't help that practically the whole arena
stood up, along with Zack and screamed" DUCKS ROCK!!" In her opinion, that
was a stupid name for a hockey team, The Mighty Ducks! For the millionth
time that night, she wished she could just go home.
"Look, sis," Zack cried out, nudging her with his elbow.
"OUCH!!" she cried, rubbing her painful side, "WHAT do you want me to
see?!"
"The Ducks as the announcer introduces them, " Zack said.
"WHY?! He's only going to call their names as they come out. Did the
same thing with The Rangers, who by the way have a far more better striking
name than your precious ducks!!" Ivy cried out over the loud cacophony of
the crowd as she sank deeper into her seat.
"Just take a good look at them as they skate out, sis."
"Why? Any cute guys?"
"Well.." Zack was at a loss for words over this, "It depends on what
you would find cute."
"Oh, just forget it! God, why do I even try with you?"
"They have girls!"
"GIRLS?! What kind of girl in her right mind would want to play a
game like this! Especially with a bunch of animals like men! It's foolish,
childish, and downright dangerous!!"
"THIS from my sister, the feminist!! Miss
'GIRLS-CAN-DO-ANYTHING-BOYS-CAN!'"
"Oh, never mind!!" Ivy cried out, exasperated. Maybe she would get a
look at these girls, foolish people that they were who loved roughhousing
with men. It might make this dumb game more interesting.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer boomed, "Please welcome the
captain of The Mighty Ducks, standing at 6 feet, 2 inches, the greatest
goalie around, Wildwing Drake!"
As the crowd cheered, Ivy stared at the huge figure skating out. She
couldn't believe her eyes!
"Hey, sis," Zack intoned, "Tell me again how aliens don't exist?"
Ivy didn't even bother to answer, she just stared. For this man wasn't who
she envisioned at all skating out. In fact, he wasn't a man at all! He was a
DUCK!! An actual Duck! One of the biggest ducks she had ever seen. "Dear
God, maybe I'm going crazy," she thought, "That's a man! I'm just seeing
things!" But she wasn't so sure of that.
"Ladies and gentlemen," the announcer continued, "At right wing,
the coolest player around, at 5 foot 7, please welcome Nosedive Drake!" Ivy
stared as another duck skated out. God, this was unbelievable. Zack was
right! He'd been right all along! She looked at him, he didn't say it, but
his face said plainly "I told you so!!"
"I can admit when I'm wrong!" Ivy thought, as Zack nudged her again,
"Hey, sis, check out this next duck coming out. Even though she's a duck,
if I didn't know better I'd say she looks like you!"
"Ladies and gentlemen," The announcer intoned," Please welcome at
right defense, standing at five feet five inches tall.."
"Not very tall for defense," Ivy muttered.
"You'd be surprised," Zack said, " Don't be fooled by height."
"One of the most dangerous puck stealers around, Mallory
McMallard!" The crowd cheered as a petite red-haired duck skated out.
"Cool, one of the girls," Ivy thought. Looking at her critically,
she realized Zack was right. Despite the fact that she was a duck, they
looked a lot alike. "Well," Ivy thought settling into her seat, " Perhaps
this game WILL be exciting after all!"
End of Part One
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