I close my eyes and dream of death,
I hate you body, I hate your breath,
You make me feel like I'm in a cage,
You cause all this hurt, this pain and this rage,
I want to scream, but I know I won't,
I ask you stop, but of course you don't,
So I cry in fright and nothing gets better
Only the paint gets worse and the tears get wetter,
Then it stops, like the eye of a storm,
You are the bird and I am the worm,
You climax the pain, way to far,
You make me feel like we aren't who we are,
You say you're sorry for the things you have done,
I'll say okay, and it looks like there's sun,
But then it comes back, my fear and your rage,
With that you have trapped me, I'm a bird in a cage.
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My father died when I was ten,
I knew I wouldn't see him again,
I felt so bad, I felt such pain,
I felt there was nothing to stop the rain,
People have joked and made fun,
And I'm still waiting for the sun
I sit here, wet and cold,
Wishing I was never told,
I cried for hours, I cried for days,
I look forward, all I see is haze,
My dad killed himself at fifty-four,
I wait for sun but it only rains more.
I'll miss you forever and a little bit more,
You leaving left my heart empty and sore,
I never pictured you leaving this way,
So many things that you'll never say,
You lept without looking and jumped to far,
You never saw me grow up, kiss my first boy,
Never say me flash a smile so coy,
My first cigarette, my first real drink,
The tears that fell down and my heart sink,
The pain of you in the hospital, alive,
I don't want to be you, thats what I strive,
I hate you for leaving, why didn't you stay?
I love you for all your differences and ways,
But you're gone now and what can I do?
What could have stopped the flight that you flew?
What could have stopped you from drinking so much,
What could have stopped you from saying goodbye and such?
Papa, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna be you.
I'll miss you forever, but what can I do?
Lost
Whenever I seem to find you,
I'm totally lost again,
Whenever I seem to find you,
You cause me so much pain,
You tilt your head and look up,
Tears descending from your eyes,
Crying for no reason,
Crying for blue skies,
Now I understand those tears,
You were stuck in rain,
Just like me you were confused,
About the ever lasting pain,
Youf inally found a way out,
That instantly brought you sun,
But when we're not together,
I am only one.
Without
Lost in a would without hope only fear,
No obsolution, no smiling just tears,
Living life, without love, without hope,
No more regrets and no way to cope,
Travel back to the past, in you mind not for real,
But she's lost in a world, where there's no way to feel.