In Goblin Land

[A radio play to introduce the women of the Congress of Clubs, an association 
of women's social clubs in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.]

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"In GOBLIN Land"

Oct. 29, 1935
STATION KDKA

Good afternoon. How do you do! To Goblin Land we welcome you. We don't serve 
coffee and we don't serve tea, but we've a surprise, just wait and see. In 
Goblin land it's always dark, - Hush, here comes our President, Mrs. Stark!

Mrs. Stark: This is my first visit to Goblin Land, that I'm quite over come 
you may well understand. What are all those shadows moving around? Everyone is 
so quiet, they don't make a sound -
 
Goblins -- (Give Mrs. Stark the Locomotive) 
GGGOOOBBBLLLiiinnnsss--

Goblins (Sing to the tune of John Brown's body) 
[c. 1860 folk song, same melody as "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"]
We are the Goblins of the Congress of Clubs 
We've come to bring you greetings, 
And to prove we are no dubs 
We bring to you a sixpence 
And a pocket full of rye, 
And we'll go marching on --
Success, success, to the Congress, 
Success, success, to the Congress, 
Success, success, to the Congress, 
And a pocket full of Money -- (finish on high key softly)
 
(Goblins march away from Mike, voices gradually fade out)
 
Mrs Stark laughs, applauds and says:
 
If the Goblins wishes just come true, I'll put my worries in my shoe. Look 
there is a Goblin drifting this way. Shall I ask its name, or what shall I 
say?
 
Hully: I'll call it. Here Goblin, do you have a name?
 
Gertrude: Gertrude Dodds, Goblin Gertie, it's one and the same --
 
Hully: Goblin Gertie, how quaint, Mrs. Stark, by the way, I'm going to ask 
Goblin Gertie to play The Witches dance by our friend MacDowell[.] You can 
almost hear the witches howl!
 
Gertrude: In Goblin land we try our best to grant the visitors request.
  
Plays. ["The Witches' Dance" (1883) by Edward MacDowell]

Applause.

Mrs. Stark: Here's another young Goblin strolling through, let's stop it and 
ask what it can do.
 
Hully: Do you whistle Goblin, or do you sing, or do you play on anything?
 
Helen: I'm Helen Hunt Allen, I fiddle and fiddle, with a string on each side 
and two in the middle - I'll play you a tune and lively as light -- Kreisler's 
Tamborin Chinois -- A Chinese Delight. 

Plays. ["Tambourin Chinois" (1910), by Austrian-born composer Fritz Kreisler]
 
Applause after playing.
 
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Here comes a whimsy as thoughtful as dawn - it carries a sheaf with words 
written on - Your name is your passport to Goblin Land, it will serve you as 
well as a magic wand - So who are you?
 
Mrs. Neff: I'm May T. Neff, I walk by myself and it walks with me but I've 
brought a poem for Mrs Stark which I wrote especially. 

Reads poem 

Applause
 
(Mrs Neff, please slide the "l" so it will rhyme more nearly with Neff -- 
self, se'f-Neff, change voice slightly for the rhyme only)
 
Hully: We are going to have a one minute reception outside of Goblin Land for 
Mrs Stark to meet some of the chairmen of the different departments.
 
Mrs Giese: I am Lulu Giese of Drama, that's easy to remember, come round in 
November, you'll hear Mr. Gihon, that lion, that scion of KDKA, and now Mrs 
Stark, I bid you good day.
 
Mrs Rich: How do you do, Mrs. Stark, I am Aida Rich of the Evening Department. 
Inasmuch as the members of my department are employed in the daytime, we plan 
to relax in the evening and visit the most interesting and entertaining 
institutions in Pittsburgh, that is from our point of view. Of course, this 
includes the International, and the Cathedral of Learning, and any place that 
happens to interest us.
 
Mrs Stark: That sounds exciting. I'd like to follow that department myself.
 
Mrs Moon: Mrs Stark, you don't know me, I am Margaret Moon of the Department 
of Education. Our plan for the year is to study "Psychology" and learn 
something about "Man, the Unknown", meaning of course ourselves.
 
Mrs Stark: If we all learn something about ourselves, that is a step forward.
 
Mrs Eckel: Mrs Stark, I am glad you are our President this year. My name is 
Pauline Eckel (P. J.) of the School of Physical Education. We plan to do a lot 
of dancing before the year is over.
 
Mrs Stark: How do you do, Mrs Eckel, that sounds very good.
 
Mrs Doverspike: I am Mrs Doverspike from the very serious department of Home-
Welfare. This year we are going to study family relations. 

Mrs Stark: Well, you have a hard job, but it's a very worthy one.
 
Mrs Sandles: How do you do, Mrs Stark, I am Mrs Sandles of the Department of 
Music. We hope to develop our appreciation of music and learn a little more 
about it by the time the year is over.
 
Mrs Stark: That's a splendid idea. It would be fine if we could all do that.
 
Hully: Now we're back again in Goblin Land. Goblin Gertie please play the Juba 
Dance by Nathaniel Dett, I see it at your finger tips, Goblins don't forget. 

Plays. ["Juba Dance," from Canadian-born composer Robert Nathaniel Dett's 
suite In the Bottoms (1913)]
 
Applause.

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Hully: Here comes a tall Goblin, with grace and with ease, I'll get it to sing 
like a bird in the trees.
 
Elsie B: You've guessed it quite rightly, my name's Elsie Breese, - Mitchell, 
too, if that's not too long; But I have come here to sing you a song - "The 
Spooky Night" by Gerturde Rohrer, and she's written many, many more. 

Sings ["The Spooky Night" by Gertrude Martin Rohrer, author of the 
Pennsylvania state song.]
 
Applause
 
Hully: Now here is a goblin as gay as a jockey, 
Hi, Goblin, your name?
 
Norma: Sire it's Norma Knocho. I'll play you a tune on my accordion now, Good 
luck Mrs Stark and good wishes to you.
 
Bert Layton - tap - tap
 
I see a strange goblin dancing around, with its head in the air and its feet 
on the ground - that's as it should be, its name is Bert Layton, go into your 
dance, we won't keep you waitin'. 

Bert Layton tap dances 

Applause
 
Choral: WE WANT TO SING! WE WANT TO SING!
 
Hully: Here's a whole group of Goblins, and each has a name, strange as it may 
seem not two are the same, they're the Congress Club Choral as lively as bees, 
and the Goblin directing, is again, Elsie Breese - They'll sing Will-o-the-
wisp by Albert Sprouse, poor will-o-the-wisp with never a house.
 
Song ["Will-o'-the-Wisp" (1909) by Charles Gilbert Spross]
 
Applause 

Close with piano and violin duet.
 
(BE YOURSELF!!)
 

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