Twelve to Five

Episode #44
Date: 12 April 1948 

CHAPPELL: Quiet, please.

(SEVEN SECONDS' SILENCE)

CHAPPELL: Quiet, please.

(MUSIC ... THEME ... FADE FOR)

ANNCR: The Mutual Broadcasting System presents "Quiet, Please!" which is
written and directed by Wyllis Cooper and which features Ernest Chappell.
"Quiet, Please!" for tonight is called "Twelve to Five" ...

(MUSIC ... THEME ... END)

---

CONNIE: Yes, ma'am, it does get lonesome down here. 

What? ... Oh, sure, being able to talk to people on the phone helps.

Well, how'd you like to be stuck away down in the basement all by yourself 
from midnight to five a.m.? With nothing but a microphone, a turntable and 
some telephones? 

Ah, sure, I got coffee. I bring in four thermos jugs when I go on, I - [slight 
chuckle] I'm coffee up to here. 

Oh, well, uh, only four and a half hours more, then I can go home and have 
breakfast. 

No. [slight chuckle] No, ma'am, I - I don't drink coffee for breakfast. Well, 
you guess what I drink. No... no... no, you're gettin' warm. 

[chuckles] Sure, three of 'em! Well, after all, it really isn't breakfast, you 
see, it's uh, uh, supper or dinner or somethin'.

Sure ... Well, thank you very much for calling. Good morning. 

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS, CONNIE PICKS UP)

CONNIE: Hello? ... Yes, this is Connie Duffin. Hello, Vic. ... Play what?! ... 
No, I haven't got "I'll be Glad When You're Dead, You Rascal You." ... Yeah, 
we're not supposed to play it. ... Oh, ever since about 1934 or five or 
sometime. ... No, no kiddin'! Ah, sure, I'll play you somethin' just - just a 
little while.

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS)

CONNIE: The other phone's ringin'. Well, well, stick around, keep tuned to us 
and you-shall-hear-music -- [in undertone] it says here. [normal voice] Good 
morning. 

SOUND: (CONNIE HANGS UP ONE PHONE, PICKS UP ANOTHER)

CONNIE: Hello, Connie Duffin speaking. ... And how are you? ... Well, fine, 
thanks. ... Huh? ... Settle a bet? ... Well, I'll try. ... "Now is the Hour"? 
Well, it's generally sung in four-four time here but it was originally written 
in three-four time. Yeah, that's right, regular waltz time. [chuckles] So I 
guess you both win or - ya both lose or somethin', huh? 

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS)

CONNIE: Sure, you're welcome. 

SOUND: (CONNIE HANGS UP ONE PHONE, PICKS UP ANOTHER)

CONNIE: Good morning! ... Fine, how are you? ... Uh, yes, ma'am, the theme 
used on "Quiet, Please!" is taken from the second movement of the Symphony in 
D Minor By Cesar Franck. ... I'll be glad to play a little of it for you, just 
a second. Let's see, uh... Uh, here she is... "Played by the Philadelphia 
Symphony Orchestra under Eugene Ormandy." Here you are. 

(MUSIC ... ABOUT A MINUTE'S WORTH OF THE SECOND MOVEMENT OF FRANCK'S SYMPHONY 
IN D MINOR a.k.a. the "Quiet, Please!" theme. ... FADES)

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS)

CONNIE: Hello? ... Yes, this is Connie Duffin. ... No, ma'am, I never lived in 
Denver. Closest I've ever been is Omaha. I played vibraharp and xylophone 
there in 1932. ... No, not on the air -- hotel. ... [chuckles] No, I - no, I'm 
sorry, I guess I'm not your cousin. 

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS)

CONNIE: Okay, have one for me, good morning. 

SOUND: (CONNIE HANGS UP ONE PHONE, PICKS UP ANOTHER)

CONNIE: [after a pause, amused] Wha-a-a-t? [long pause, Connie chuckles] Why - 
why, sure I'm lonesome! ... No, I'm all alone in here. ... Nah, it's just a 
little place about as big as two telephone booths, I guess. ... Uh, no, the 
engineer's upstairs in master control. We're the only people in the station. 
No, I guess there's a janitor upstairs in studio fourteen, they had a quiz 
show up there tonight and there's probably custard pie all over the stage. ... 
Uh - w - well, thank you. They don't allow me to have visitors. Besides, my 
wife's listening. ... Sure. ... Verna. ... Naw. She can't even come down to 
see me while I'm on the air. ... Well... Well, thanks very much. ... Sure ... 
SURE! ... Until five o'clock, five a.m. "Oh five hundred" we used to say in 
the Navy. ... Well, thanks very much! ... Good morning. [to himself, a little 
wearily] Good morning. 

SOUND: (HANGS UP PHONE)

CONNIE: [into the mike, rapidly and smoothly] Uh, friends, this is your friend 
Connie Duffin on the twelve to five shift playing music and saying words to 
you. If you can't sleep, call me up and let's talk! We talk to everybody: 
night owls, bartenders, policemen, burglars, music lovers, you know the 
number! Give us a ring! Now, for a little music - let's see what we have here. 
It's, uh... the Mills Brothers singing "'Til Then" and while they're singin', 
I'm gonna have me a little coffee and a cigarette so lean back and listen. 

(MUSIC ... ABOUT FORTY SECONDS OF 'TIL THEN ... FADES)

HERBIE [fade in]: How ya' doing, Connie? 

CONNIE: Huh? Oh, uh, hello. 

HERBIE: I'm Herbie Buchanan. 

CONNIE: Well, hello. I - I didn't know there was anybody else around here - 
except Bob upstairs in the control room. 

HERBIE: Oh, I'm around every night. Whatcha got there, coffee? 

CONNIE: Yeah, you like some? Help yourself. Take the top off the thermos. 

HERBIE: Much obliged. 

SOUND: (Coffee POURED and DRUNK.)

CONNIE: You a new guy? Naw, you just said you're here every night. 

HERBIE: Yeah, I've been around here for years. 

CONNIE: Well, I never get around here in the daytime, so I don't know very
many people. [with a chuckle] Hoover upstairs in the cashier's office.

HERBIE [laughing]: Yeah. 

CONNIE: What you doing? 

HERBIE: I brought down some news bulletins to read, if you don't mind.

CONNIE: Well, I should say not. Saves wear and tear on my vocal cords. You
in the newsroom? 

HERBIE: Part of the time. I've been a disc jockey, everything. 

CONNIE: Well, here's the mike, baby, and uh, platter's runnin' down. 

HERBIE: You wanna put me on? 

CONNIE: Sure. 

(MUSIC ... STOPS)

CONNIE: [into the mike] Well friends, we've got something new for you tonight. 
My good friend Herbie Buchanan has just come in with a pocketful of news 
flashes and, while I have one more cigarette, Herbie'll tell you what's goin' 
on in the world. Okay, Herbie Buchanan!

HERBIE: Thank you, Connie Duffin. Well, there's not much new in the way of
international affairs. Everybody hates everybody else just as much as they
did yesterday and about as much as they will tomorrow. So let's see what's
going on right here in our own fair city, if you want to call it a fair
city. 

Chief of Police Deems Lopez will be startled to know that a murder
was committed this evening only two doors away from the South Side police 
station. Hubert W. Cronkite, a retired broker of 2319 West 17th street, 
discovered a burglar prowling in his apartment who shot and killed Mr. 
Cronkite in his bedroom. There are no clues as to the murder's identity. 

A taxicab collided with a streetcar at the corner of Pacific Avenue and Maple 
Grove, killing a passenger and seriously injuring two of the passengers in the
cab. The weather today? The temperature is now fifty-two degrees and, as
you no doubt know, rain is falling heavily. Correct time is 1:32 a.m. standard 
time. 

CONNIE [interrupting]: Hey... hey, Herbie! 

HERBIE: Huh? 

CONNIE: You got the time wrong. 

HERBIE: What? 

CONNIE: Well, look at the clock, you jerk, it's 1:02 -- you're a half hour
ahead of time! 

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS, CONNIE PICKS UP)

CONNIE: Hello, this is Connie Duffin. ... What? ... Not raining? Why, Herbie 
said-- ... What? ... Okay, I will look out the window, hold the phone. 

SOUND: (FOOTSTEPS)

CONNIE: [under his breath] Well, I'll be darned. [out loud] Say, Herbie? ... 
HERBIE? ... [back on the phone] Uh, yes, ma'am, you're right. ... Well, I'm 
sorry. Herbie must have been mixed up or somethin'. ... Thank you very much. 
... Uh, yes, ma'am. 

SOUND: (HANGS UP PHONE)

CONNIE: Hey, where did--? Herbie! ... Where did--?

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS, CONNIE PICKS UP)

CRONKITE: This is Connie Duffin. 

CRONKITE: Look here, what kind of nonsense is this?

CONNIE: Well, I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about, sir. 

CRONKITE: Making fools out of people! I'm going to sue you! 

CONNIE: Well, what for, for goodness' sake? 

CRONKITE: Are you the man who just said I was shot by a burglar? 

CONNIE: Huh? Me?! Oh, uh, why, no, sir, that was a man from the newsroom. 

CRONKITE: Well, he's a liar. 

CONNIE: Listen, friend, who are you? I don't get this.

CRONKITE: I'm just as much alive as you are! 

CONNIE: Well, all right, sir, but who are--? 

CRONKITE: My name is Hubert W. Cronkite! I was not killed by a burglar! 

CONNIE [sarcastic]: You weren't... [shocked] I mean, WHAT?! 

CRONKITE: Do I sound as if I've been shot? Now, look here, young man, I
demand a public apology! I-- Wait a minute. 

CONNIE: What? 

CRONKITE: I said, wait a minute. I hear somebody in my bedroom. 

CONNIE: Well, but, uh ... okay. 

SOUND: (ANOTHER PHONE RINGS, CONNIE PICKS UP)

CONNIE: Hello, this is Connie Duffin. ... Who? ... Oh, sure, good morning. ... 
No, sir, I don't think I do know you. ... What, police!? ... No. ... [half 
apologetic] No, it was a gag. ... No, it couldn't be, I was just talkin' to 
Mr. Cronkite on the phone. ... Why, he's on the phone right now. I'm just 
waitin' for him to come back. ... Hello, Mr. Cronkite? ... Hello? ... HELLO, 
HELLO, MR. CRONKITE?! ... No. He - he doesn't answer. ... Well, wait a second, 
I gotta put on some music. ... Music for gosh sakes, this is a radio station! 
[into the mike] Friends, here is music for you from yours truly, Connie 
Duffin, to you, wherever you are. 

(MUSIC ... ABOUT A MINUTE'S WORTH OF AN INSTRUMENTAL VERSION OF THE POP BALLAD 
"MELANCHOLY BABY" - THEN UNDER)

LUCY: Sure good to have you back home, Milton.

MILTON: Yeah, I'm sure glad to be back, Lucy. You haven't changed much. 

LUCY: Hm! Got awful lonesome for you, though. 

MILTON: I know. I was lonesome, too. We were awful chumps, weren't we? 

LUCY: I should say so. Let's not ever fight again, huh, honey? 

MILTON: Not ever. You love me? 

LUCY: An awful lot. You love me? 

MILTON: Plenty. 

LUCY: Now... now, let's just sit quiet and listen to the music. Put your arm
around me. That way. 

(MUSIC ... UNINTERRUPTED FOR A FEW SECONDS)

HERBIE: [over the radio] Are Lucy and Milton listening to me? Are you there,
Lucy and Milton? 

LUCY: Listen, Milton! 

MILTON: What goes on here? That's the radio! 

LUCY: Listen! 

MILTON: To what? 

LUCY: Sshh! 

HERBIE: You've been away a long time, Milton, since you and Lucy had that
quarrel and you walked out on her in the restaurant. 

LUCY: How's he know that? 

MILTON: Listen! 

HERBIE: It's too bad, really. You were so much in love. And then this thing
happened to break ya up. Now, it's great to be together again. 

MILTON: Who is this?! 

LUCY: Sshh! 

HERBIE: Happiness lasts such a little while, doesn't it? It's such a shame
that yours can't last longer. 

LUCY: What's he talkin' about? 

HERBIE: I hate to have to be the one to tell you but - it's going to happen 
tonight. You're going to quarrel again--

LUCY: [interrupts] WE ARE NOT! 

HERBIE: And this time you're not going to run out on her, Milton.

MILTON: I don't know what he's-- 

LUCY: Shut up! 

MILTON: Now, listen! 

LUCY: QUIET! 

HERBIE: Because Lucy won't take it again. Lucy's got a gun, Milton, and this
quarrel's really going to end things - but good, Milton. But good. 

(MUSIC ... SOMBER ORGAN BRIDGE, THEN UNDER)

MILTON: Lucy? 

LUCY: What? 

MILTON: Have you got a gun? Have ya? 

LUCY: None o' ya business. 

MILTON: Now, listen, sweetheart... 

LUCY: You got no right to come in this house after six months and start
jumpin' on me! 

MILTON: This is my house, baby--

LUCY: This is MY house! You ran away from me--

MILTON: I had plenty of reason to run away from you! 

LUCY: Oh, ya did?! Well, go ahead and get out now! 

MILTON: Who do you think you're talking to?! 

LUCY: I never asked you to come back! 

MILTON: I don't know why I did! 

LUCY: Well, get out if you don't like it! 

MILTON: I will not get out! 

LUCY: [struggling] Stay away from me! 

MILTON: [struggling] Lucy...! 

LUCY: Get away from me! 

MILTON: I say--! 

LUCY: Get away! 

(MUSIC ... AN ACCENT, THEN OUT)

HERBIE: [on the air] The time is now two a.m. standard time. 

CONNIE: [with a start] Huh? Oh, I - I must have been asleep. 

HERBIE: Yeah, I guess you were, Connie. 

CONNIE: Say - where did you go? 

HERBIE: Upstairs for a minute. 

CONNIE: Ah, you sure got me in a hassle. 

HERBIE: What do you mean? 

CONNIE: Ah, talkin' about that guy getting killed by a burglar. 

HERBIE: Oh. [chuckles] That. 

CONNIE: And gettin' the time wrong! Bob put it in the log upstairs. What's-
his-name will jump down my throat tomorrow... today. 

HERBIE: Ummm, that's too bad. 

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS)

HERBIE: Hey, your phone's ringin'. 

CONNIE: Oh. 

SOUND: (CONNIE PICKS UP PHONE)

CONNIE: Hello, this is Connie Duffin. ... Who? ... The police? ... What? ... 
He did? ... Why - I don't know! ... Yes, uh, I'll come in. ... Sure... Okay 
... Yup. 

SOUND: (CONNIE HANGS UP PHONE)

CONNIE: Listen. 

HERBIE: What? 

CONNIE: He DID get killed by a burglar! 

HERBIE: Well, all right. 

CONNIE: Huh? 

HERBIE: That's what I said, didn't I? 

CONNIE: Uh... yeah, but--

HERBIE: Hadn't you better get on the air? 

CONNIE: Oh, uh... yeah sure. Uh... [into mike] This is your friend, friends -- 
Connie Duffin and his records. Now, a word from our sponsor. [increasingly 
fast and frenetic] Chappell's Apples are the finest, most delicious, great big 
eating apples you ever sunk a fang into! Direct to you from the tree to your 
table in handsome, hand-made baskets containing twelve, forty-eight, and 
ninety-six of the finest eatin' and cookin' apples you ever laid eyes on! 
Friend, wonderful! Fly at once to the kitchen to concoct a genuine old-
fashioned apple pie that'll set your mouth a-watering as it did when mother 
made those luscious, spicy pies in your youth. You'll tussle with her over 
Chappell's Apples - because they're just as good eatin' apples as they are pie 
apples. Just say "CHAPPELL'S APPLES, PLEASE!" to your neighborhood apple 
dealer -- and accept no substitute! First thing tomorrow, CHAPPELL'S APPLES! 
[pause, complete change of tone and tempo] And now ... music! 

(MUSIC ... GENE KRUPA'S "OPUS ONE" UNDER)

CONNIE: Listen, Herbie! I can take a gag as big as the next fella, see! 

HERBIE: Hmmmm? 

CONNIE: But fun is fun!

HERBIE: Well? 

CONNIE: So what is this? 

HERBIE: What is what? 

CONNIE: How did you know that fella was gonna get killed? 

HERBIE: Look, it's on the paper. 

CONNIE: Where did that come from?

HERBIE: Up in the newsroom.

CONNIE: Newsroom? There's nobody in the newsroom! 

HERBIE: Teletypes are there, they're running. 

CONNIE: They shouldn't be, not this time of night... morning. 

HERBIE: Well, they are. 

CONNIE: You got that off the teletype? 

HERBIE: Mm hmm. 

CONNIE: How do you know it isn't kiddin' somebody? 

HERBIE: It isn't. 

CONNIE: Yeah, but how do you know? 

HERBIE: Believe me, Connie, I know. 

CONNIE: Well, looks awfully funny to me. I never heard of you before. 

HERBIE: Yeah, it's true. 

CONNIE: I don't get it.

HERBIE: Well... 

CONNIE: What about that taxicab accident? 

HERBIE: It'll happen any minute. 

CONNIE: You wouldn't be kidding a guy. 

HERBIE: Not me, Connie. 

CONNIE: You got a union card? Uh, an AFRA card? 

HERBIE: Sure. 

CONNIE: Let's see it. 

HERBIE: Here. 

CONNIE: [reads card] "Herbert L. Buchanan" ... Paid up, too! 

HERBIE: Yep. 

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS, CONNIE PICKS UP)

CONNIE: Hello, this is Connie Duffin, g - good morning. 

BOB: (PHONE) It's Bob.

CONNIE: Oh, hello, Bob. 

BOB: (PHONE) Look, you got somebody down there with ya? 

CONNIE: Yeah. 

BOB: (PHONE) Who? 

CONNIE: Herbie Buchanan.

BOB: (PHONE) Who?! 

CONNIE: Herbie Buchanan, I said! What's the matter, can't you understand
English? 

BOB: (PHONE) Yeah, sounds more like "bllll-bllll" to me. That's the way it's 
been sounding on the air. Why don't you take the mush out of your mouth?

CONNIE: Listen! I never had any trouble with people understanding me
before! 

BOB:  (PHONE) Well, I don't give two hoots who's down there with you. That's 
your responsibility. But if What's-his-name hears you goin' "bllll-bllll," 
he's gonna pin your ears back like a snood. 

CONNIE: Listen, you--

BOB:  (PHONE) And listen. This is YOUR program! And if I was you I wouldn't be 
playing the Funeral March this time of the morning, see?! 

CONNIE: Funeral March?! We're playing Gene Krupa's "Opus Number One"! 

HERBIE: No, it isn't, Connie. Listen. 

CONNIE: What?! 

(MUSIC ... OFF KEY ORGAN VERSION OF FUNERAL MARCH)

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS, CONNIE PICKS UP)

CONNIE: Good morning, Connie Duffin speaking. ... How are you, ma'am? ... 
What? No, I just turned it off. ... Yes, ma'am, twelve to five. ... Yeah, only 
a little while to go now. ... Oh, you're glad. ... Well, I'm sorry. ... Well, 
ma'am you have no idea how rugged it's been here. For some reason, everything 
is - slightly mixed up this morning. ... No, I have NOT been drinking. I do 
not drink on the job. ... Yeah, I'm sorry, ma'am. ... Well, what would you 
like to hear us play? ... [with distaste] "Three O'Clock in the Morning." Hang 
on. Here it comes. Listen, ma'am--

(MUSIC ... FORTY SECONDS OF "THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING" ... THEN UNDER)

CONNIE: What? What you say? ... But, madam, I can hear it! Well, listen. [hums
along with the music] Can't you--? Lady, I tell you it's NOT a funeral march!

(MUSIC ... OFF KEY ORGAN VERSION OF FUNERAL MARCH, THEN AN ACCENT, THEN OUT)

HERBIE: Well, so long, Connie, I - [I'll be leavin'] for a while. 

CONNIE: Where you going? 

HERBIE: Out. 

CONNIE: Well, well, wait. Listen, can't you help me get this all
straightened out? 

HERBIE: No, I'm overdue. 

CONNIE: Now, but wait. Wait, Herbie, I--

HERBIE: No, I'll see you later. 

SOUND: (DOOR CLOSES)

CONNIE: Ohhhh, oh, my head. I wonder if I HAVE been at this too long? Who is 
this guy? What's he up to? Well, I don't get it. 

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS, CONNIE PICKS UP)

CONNIE: Hello? ... Yes, good morning. ... Well, I'll try sir. ... No, sir, 
we're not playin' games. ... I don't know. ... I know it! ... Yeah, I'll play 
ya some music. ... Yes, sir. ... Yes, sir! ... YES, SIR! ... WELL, IF YOU 
DON'T LIKE IT, WHY DON'T YOU TURN OFF YOUR RADIO AND GO BACK TO BED?!

SOUND: (CONNIE SLAMS PHONE DOWN)

CONNIE: Oh ho, man. That did it. Oh, if What's-his-name heard that one -- oh, 
wow. If that guy comes back here, I'm gonna beat his brains out! Making a fool 
outta me! 

SOUND: (PHONE RINGS, CONNIE PICKS UP)

CONNIE: Hello?

BOB: (PHONE) This is Bob upstairs. Stop talking to yourself, your mike's open! 

CONNIE: [stunned, embarrassed] Oh... shee. 

BOB: (PHONE) Yeah. Whose brain you gonna beat out? 

CONNIE: This Herbie Buchanan. 

BOB: (PHONE) Who's he? 

CONNIE: The fella that was here with me! 

BOB: (PHONE) Never heard of him. Hey! 

CONNIE: What? 

BOB: (PHONE) You talk straighter now. Cut out the monkey business. Get back on 
the ball! 

CONNIE: I'm - goin' up to the newsroom a minute, Bob. 

BOB: (PHONE) Okay. Spin a platter and hurry back. 

CONNIE: Oh... [into mike] Well, friends, shall we - listen to a little music? 
All right, we'll - listen to a little music. 

(A LITTLE MUSIC ... ABOUT FIFTEEN SECONDS OF "BEGIN THE BEGUINE")

CONNIE: [talks to himself] Now. I've - got a key to the newsroom. 

(MUSIC CONTINUES ... ANOTHER FIFTEEN SECONDS OF "BEGIN THE BEGUINE")

SOUND: (DOOR OPENS)

(MUSIC OUT)

CONNIE: Well. Nobody here. I thought he'd be--

SOUND: (BELL RINGS, TELETYPE CLATTERS)

CONNIE: Oh, there goes the teletype. [pause] Well, what you--? [reads] 
"Herbert L. Buchanan, former announcer and disc jockey on local radio 
stations, was - was instantly killed in an accident this evening when a
taxicab in which he was riding was struck by a streetcar at the corner of
Pacific Avenue and Maple Grove!"

(MUSIC ... OFF KEY ORGAN VERSION OF FUNERAL MARCH, THEN OUT ... THEN POP MUSIC 
FADES IN AND STAYS UNDER)

CONNIE: What? Now, I--

HERBIE: Hiya, Connie. 

CONNIE: Herbie! 

HERBIE: What's the matter? 

CONNIE: You -- you're dead! 

HERBIE: Sure. 

CONNIE: Huh? 

HERBIE: Sure I am. 

CONNIE: Listen, what is--?

HERBIE: I got only a couple o' minutes. 

CONNIE: Well, yes but--

HERBIE: I've been to the newsroom. 

CONNIE: You have? 

HERBIE: Yeah, I - I'd better read this to the customers. 

CONNIE: What is it? 

HERBIE: I'll have to hurry, it's pretty near five. Hold it! [after a pause, 
into mike] A presentiment of imminent death felt by the well-known master of 
ceremonies of a popular radio record program heard from twelve to five each 
morning, was the actual preliminary to the death of Cornelius "Connie" Duffin 
this morning.

CONNIE: Hey, I--! 

HERBIE: [to Connie] Sshh! [into mike] Mr. Duffin fell in a coma as he left his 
studio this morning at five o'clock as his program concluded. He died on the 
way to the hospital.

SOUND: (A TONE TO INDICATE THE TIME)

HERBIE: It's five o'clock, ladies and gentlemen. Open the door, Connie. 

(MUSIC ... THEME. FADE FOR)

The actor who plays Herbie Buchanan in this episode is "none other than the well-known disc jockey and commentator Jack Lescoulie" (left) -- in fact, starting in the Fall of 1947, he was the "all night radio man" for the Mutual Broadcasting System's New York affiliate WOR. He became even better known in the 1950s as a regular on NBC-TV's long-running morning program "The Today Show." He is pictured here with another "Today" regular, Kokomo, Jr. ... When this episode first aired, the recreation of an all-night request program fooled inattentive listeners who actually phoned the network during the broadcast to request songs! I guess it's a good thing Herbie didn't report on a Martian invasion of New Jersey.

ANNOUNCER: "Quiet, Please!" for tonight was called "Twelve to Five." It is 
written and directed by Wyllis Cooper, and Connie Duffin, the man who spoke to 
you, was Ernest Chappell. 

CHAPPELL: And the intruder ... Herbie Buchanan ... was none other than the
well-known disc jockey and commentator Jack Lescoulie. Others in the cast
were Connie Lemke, Mary Lee Joel, and Ed Latimer. Music for "Quiet, Please!",
as usual, is played by Albert Buhrmann. Now, my good friend Wyllis Cooper for
a word with you. 

COOPER: Nobody in this story is at all like anybody else in the world, living 
or dead. All of them sprang to life from my typewriter and are completely 
fictitious. Next week's "Quiet, Please!" is called "Clarissa." 

CHAPPELL: And so... until next week at this same time -- and... Clarissa... -- 
I am quietly yours, Ernest Chappell. 

ANNOUNCER: "Quiet, Please!" comes to you from New York. This is the world's
largest network, serving more than 450 radio stations, the Mutual Broadcasting 
System. 

(MUSIC ... THEME ... END)

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