Here is a joke story that is clean.

There were once two farmers who were very dumb and owned two horses. One farmer was brighter than the other. See if you can guess who it is. One day, the two farmers went riding along. They stopped to buy something, came back to their horses, and couldn't tell which horse was which. "Don't worry!" said the first farmer. "I cut my horse's tail a bit shorter than yours!" "That's smart!" said the second farmer. "I'll do that too!" He cut his horse's tail short and they rode along again. They got off, walked around, and came back, not knowing which horse was which. "Don't worry!" said the first farmer. "I put a red mark next to my horse's ear!" "That's smart! I'll do that too!" the second farmer did so, they both rode off again, got off the horses, came back, and couldn't tell which horse was which. "uh oh!" said the first farmer. "I forgot to change something!" "What'll we do?" asked the second farmer. The first farmer said, "Well, if they look so much alike, it doesn't matter which horse we get. You get the black one, and I'll get the white one.

Thank you Carissa for sending this in!

Jokes

1. Q=Why did the cow go to the mall?
A=Because he wanted to see a moooooovie!

2. Q=Why should you never insult an alien?
A=20-20-20-20-20-20-20-20-20

3. Q=Where's the best place to bye a soccer shirt?
A=New Jersey

4. Q=Where do computers go on Saturday nights?
A=to the disco

5. Q=Why was the young bee scolded?
A=for bad bee-hive-ior

6. Q=What do baseball and cake making ahve in commun?
A=the batter

7. Q=Why is it so hot after a baseball game?
A=because all the fans have gone home

8. Q=When is a baseball player like a singer?
A=when he makes a hit

9. Q=What soes an elephant do when he breaks his toe?
A=he calls a toe truck

10. Q=What are the colors of the Blue Jays?
A=(Shawn)Green and (Devon) White

11. Q=How do you cut the sea in two?
A=with a sea-saw

12. Q=What did one light bulb say to the other one?
A=how come you never go out?

13. Q=what is a hockey goalie's motto?
A=the puck stops here

14. Q=Why did Cinderella get kicked off the baseball team?
A=because she ran away from the ball

15. Q=What is a twip?
A=A twip is when a bunny wabbit takes a wide on a twain.

16. Q=Where do you put your dog when you go to the mall?
A=In the barking lot

17. Q=Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than it does to run from first base to second base?
A=Because there's a short stop beetween second and third

18. Q=What has 18 arms and 18 legs and catches flies?

A=A baseball team

19. Q=What is the longest rope in the world?
A=Europe

20. Q=What do you call a sleepng bull?
A=A bulldozer

21. Q=What do little rattlesnakes like best in school?
A=Hisssss-tory

22. Q=What stars go to jail?
A=Shouting stars

23. Q=What did the dog say when he sat on the log?
A=Ruff! Ruff!

24. Q=How many earth worms can you fill a bathtub with?
A=None, because they all go down the drain

25. Q=Why do pitchers raise one leg when they pitch?
A=Because if they raised two, they would fall over

26. Q=What do you get if you dial 116?
A=Three policeman standing on there heads

Talking Jokes

1. Jes: Why did you put a mouse in your sister's bed?
Lisa: Because I couldn't catch a frog

2. Andrea: Good grief, who gave you that black eye Adrian?
Adiran: Nobody, I had to fight for it

Toung Twisters

1. Seven slithering snakes slide south

2. How much quick could a quick kid mix if a quick kid could mix quick?

3. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

4. Hey, Mister Nuther Nutter Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookie man. Can I have a Nuther Nutter Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookie?

5.To begin to toboggan first, buy a toboggan. But do not buy too big a toboggan! Too big a toboggan is too big a toboggan to buy to begin to tobbogan.

Puzzles

1. Qestion=
Lay a quater and a nickle next to each other on a table. Can you place the nickle under the quater?
Here's the catch: you can touch the nickle, but you can't touch the quater. You can't use anything to move the quater. It must be left exactly were it is.
Do you think you can do it?

1. Answer=
Hold the nickle UNDER the table, beneath the quater

2. Question=
Lay 2 pennies and a nickle on a table(not too far apart). It should look like this:
Penny Penny Nickle
Do you think you can move the nickle?
Here's the catch: you can't touch the second penny and the nickle.

2. Answer=
Put your finger on the first penny. Hit the second penny with the first penny and the second penny should hit the nickle. Back to my Homepage

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