I was born on March 28, 1981 in Chicago Heights, Illinois. I lived there for about a year before moving to Bolingbrook, Illinois. My time in Bolingbrook was a happy time in my life. I was too young to be bothered by much, and I was really content overall. I was good at school and was placed in a special program that put the accelerated kids in a seperate classroom for the year. We did basically the same things as the other kids, but at a faster pace and we covered things much more in depth. During this time, I also formed some very good relationships with people. I became best friends with my next door neighbor Daryll. We spent all our time together and helped each other through a lot of the confusion of growing up and we were happy to always have a person we could talk to. That all changed when he moved away though. He moved when I was 8, but I can still remeber crying when he drove away. I remember him trying to be the older, stronger one and telling me it's ok, we'll see each other again, but he was just as upset.
After Daryll moved, I became better friends with the some of the other kids living near me, until one of them told me they were moving to Wisconsin. That bothered me some, but it didn't matter for long, because soon I was told that I too was moving. My family then moved to Crown Point, Indiana. The move was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I felt so alone in my new school and I had a hard time making new friends. I finally got settled though, and when I made it too high school, I started to feel comfortable again. I started to be successful at school again and found my place among my classmates. I formed some very good relationships and felt at home again. During my sophomore year, I met a guy named Vince who quickly became my best friend, and who still is. He was one of the first people that I told I was gay, and one of the best about it overall.
By my junior year, I began to feel pressure to date. All my friends were dating or talked about girls, but I had no interest in them at all. I didn't think I had much interest in anyone. Then, I met a girl who I sort-of dated for a while. She lived about an hour from me, but we spent hours on the phone and we went to a bunch of dances together. I really had no interest in her, though, and just kind-of went along with it. Our relationship was never serious, and when I graduted it just sort-of died.
When I started college, I still hadn't had a real relationship. Halfway through my freshman year, I had a bad experience with one of my friends from home. We had just been talking, and he asked me if I was gay. I told him I thought I was and he asked if I wanted to do anything. I decided it could't hurt, and that went on for a little bit. After a little while though, he wanted to become more serious. I told him that I wouldn't date him or anything, and he got pretty mad and hurt. We argued about it for a period of months, until I got home from school. Over the summer, I finally convinced him to leave me alone, and I was able to move on. I told my parents on my 19th birthday, and a few of my friends at home. I had also come out to almost all my friends at ND. My parents were supportive of me, but it was really hard. They had a lot of questions and fears and it took a long time to work through them. It's been over a year now, and we're still talking about it and they're still getting comfortable with the idea that I'm gay.
My sophomore year went well, and I got really involved in my major and work at school. I wasn't really looking for a relationship, but I wanted one deep down. To me it seemed as if I might have to always be single. Notre Dame has a small gay community and I wasn't interested in any of them. A month before the end of school, though, I met a freshman who had just come out. Him and I started talking a lot and the next thing I knew we were dating a week later. Some may say that was way to quick, but it seemed so right to both of us. We spent all our time together that last month, and our relationship grew. The summer was hard since we were apart, but we talked on the phone and saw each other a few times, and everything went well for a while. When I went to Rome, however, things changed a lto and we ended up breaking up abotu a month and a half after I got there.
Joe breaking up with me was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through. Not only did I feel really hurt and in a way almost cheated, I was abroad and I didn't have too much of a support system. In the end, though, I did manage to get through it all. One thing that certainyl helped that was meeting Jonathon, an ND grad student who was in Rome second semester. Just having another gay person there to talk to and who could understand made such a difference to me. Jono and I became good friends over the semester and we still are good friends even though we see each other less now that we are back in the US. While I was in Rome I also became rather burnt out on architecture and deicded to give in to a growing urge within myself to explore things outside of architecture.
When I got back to the US I spent a month at home readjusting and then went back to ND for summer school so that I could add my second major, psychology. The summer was long and very dramatic at times (see Gay Summer 2002) but it was really good too. I really enjoyed the classes I took and it not too stressful.
It was also at the end of the summer that I started dating my current boyfriend, Jeff. Jeff and I had been friends since we met through architecture and Outreach freshman year, but it was the summer together that really strengthened our connection. It took all summer, but about a week before school ended we started dating. Getting into a new relationship was scary for me but exciting at the same time. From the beginning it was obvious to me that this relationship was going to be completely different in many ways. I think that the timing was better, the situation was better, we were both more mature, and that overall I had more confidence in us from the start.
As of now, I am currently half-way through my senior year. I am enjoying psychology a lot and still doing the architecture thing as well. Jeff and I have been together almost 4 months and that looks good too. I'm trying to stay much more positive these days and to look forward to the things that are awaiting me soon when I graduate even thoguht it's over a year away.
~Kid Rock