Directed by-Carlos Aured
Starring-Paul Naschy, Maria Perchy, Diana Lorys, Eva Leon, Ines Morlaes, Tony Pica
When I was in college I lived with four other woman in a five bedroom house complete with puke green carpet, heavy dark woodwork and a hanging lamp that looked like it came straight from the Brady Bunch Props Department. We had a bit of a reputation, partially 'cos we had a lot of keg parties, and partially because one drunken Saturday afternoon we made a series of "Unit Dimensions Charts", which we posted in the downstairs bathroom. All male visitors were invited to compare the size of their, ahem...units, to the illustrations we so thoughtfully provided. More than one gentleman was sighted slinking to the front door immediately upon exiting the accomadations. Maybe it was that bit about the camera and our plans to install a Wall of Shame over the toliet. But I digress. Anyway, I guess those times gave me a taste for slightly unbalanced women amidst tacky 70's era trappings, otherwise I don't know how to explain the fact that I LIKED this movie.
The Plot goes something like this. Studly Giles (cult icon Naschy) is tromping about the Spanish countryside looking for work. He happens upon a village and soon meets Claude, a strange woman who lives in the neighboring countryside with her two sisters. Seems the ladies need a handyman. Giles thinks that Claude is a cutie and quickly agrees he's the man for the job.They proceed to the sisters' creaky old estate where he gets right to work squeezing udders, chopping wood sans shirt, fighting off a would-be intruder, and bedding the lovely women of the manor. The three sisters are a strange bunch, presumably as a result of a mysterious "accident" that happened years before. Claude is as stiff as her prosthetic limb, Nicole is the obligatory slut, and Yvette is wheelchair-bound and requires a full-time nurse, despite the fact that her doctor says her "illness" is psychosomatic.
Meanwhile, the town is shaken by a series of murders that start right around the time that Giles arrives. Someone is stalking and killing women with blond hair and blue eyes. As if that wasn't bad enough, the killer gouges out and runs off with the victims' eyes! Yvette's doctor teams up with the police to investigate.
The story sounds promising but the execution is less than stellar throughout. The worst thing is the chirpy 70's flute-heavy soundtrack, which is woefully inappropriate for most of the onscreen action. The direction is kinda funky too. The first third of the movie plays like so-bad-it's-good softcore euro- rama then when the murders start and it veers sharply into giallo territory. My poor little head was spinning! By the way, I'm still trying to figure out why people are so gaga over Paul Naschy. He reminds me of a hirsuite Jim Belushi (not a good thing) and I didn't think his acting or writing (he scripted) abilities were anything special. The character he plays is an abusive prick and it was hard for me to believe that he had women falling over him.
I know, I know, you're probably wondering what I DID like about the damn thing. Honestly? I'm not sure. Even given all the drawbacks, House of Psychotic Women manages to be a fairly entertaining film. Maybe it was nostalgia or maybe I'm just a closet masochist. Watch it when you're in the mood for a big 'ol heap of mozzerella. And if you ever come over to my house...beware the bathroom. -Jenny Stumps
Rating-3 Brains |
