| Starring Muse Watson A big part of being a movie geek, one of the horror variety in particular, is being able to take a chance on a movie you have never heard of and in all likelihood is going to be a piece of utter shit. Every once in a while you will find a real gem that way but you usually just get an ass reamer like Season of the Hunted. It is the ability to take reaming after reaming and still come back for more that sets us apart from the average movie goer. Lord knows my cinematic anus has been reamed more than most but I swear to God this one nearly pushed me over the edge. I have never been so close to just shutting off the DVD player, boxing it up, and putting it away in some dark corner where I would not have to even look at it. I don't know if I will ever be the same. Some guys go into the woods for some kind of weekend at a hunting resort and are hunted down Most Dangerous Game style by some hillbillies. I guess they were hillbillies. They were awfully dirty and drank whiskey out of a jug. They wore a lot of flannel. Do hillbillies wear flannel these days? I don't know. It really is just a piece of shit. Poorly concieved and acted. I don't know if the guy even knew how to operate the camera. There is a weird black halo around the picture most of the time and I have doubts that it was intentional. There is some painfully cliched writing as well. I mean, I don't expect War and Peace from stuff like this but there is an honest to God Nam flashback in this movie and that is one of the high moments. I knew I was in trouble when the guy supposed to be the cutting wit of the group started making "final answer / lifeline" jokes. This is the kind of movie where a guy gets hit in the leg with a hunting arrow and just reaches down and plucks it out like he is picking daisies or something. I don't know much about hunting but I know those arrows have barbs on them and you can't just yank 'em out. If I know that then everybody should know it. I'm not exactly a rugged outdoorsman. Then, just when you think it can't get any worse, it goes into this long drawn out "twist ending" where the survivors are picked up and taken back to some guy's house and HOLY FUCKING SHIT it turns out he is one of the bad guys. It drags on for what seems like half an hour before one of them grab a vase or something and hit the guy over the head. They get in a car and drive home and have a big laugh over what a CRAZY weekend it was. I guess I spoiled it for you. You can thank me later. - badfish |
| Season of the Hunted |
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| Rating - No Brains (Just like this movie) |
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