• My Home My (irretrievable) Life
  
  
• The Attitude of Thai Teens towards Sex before Marriage
  
  
• The Lost in Everyday Use

    Saraphi is a small town in the borderline of Chiang Mai and Lampoon. There is nothing distinguished only for its tranquil atmosphere. I had been living there for more than twenty years before I moved to Chiang Mai city.  The house where my family used to live was left vacant. The four members in my family – including me- went off in different directions. My father moved to Sanpathong to stay with his new wife. My mother found her new mate in Krabi and settled down there. My brother finished his Bachelor’s Degree and started his job in Lampang whereas I stay with my uncle at his house located in the heart of Chiang Mai city.
 

     My family was torn asunder without any omen. “You and your brother are mature enough to be responsible for your lives.” my mother said. I argued back silently that although I become older, my parents’ separation was deeply hurt my soul. I did not prepare to face this sudden change. My soul was buried altogether with the sweet memories of my family beneath the house in Saraphi.  

     Spending my life in the city is very fascinating but it is worthless and cannot replace the peaceful life in the country. My new life is surrounded by lots of people as seven people living together under my uncle’s roof. Also, I can meet my MA friends more often and participate in many activities with them. Yet, I still feel as if I am alone. All essence of city life cannot fill in the gap in my heart. I have yearned for a return of those days when everyone in my family lived together but reality snapped me out of my daydream.
 

     Alas, my broken home also took my calm life away.  All lovable remembrance is just the illusion which remains for a short period of time. The old house, the dusty door, the empty water bottles and the cobweb on the roof are all remaining. I could not go back to continue the traditional way of life as everyone in my family. We have to step forward. My idyllic life was gone as the old way of life was eradicated by modernity.

 In the twenty-first century, Thai society is changing rapidly due to advances in technology and communication. Although Thailand has been an agricultural country for a long period of time, developments coming are influencing Thai people’s lifestyle. Many Thais can adjust themselves to the modern lifestyle yet some old generation Thais are still nervous and worried about some changes are coming especially an idea of pre – marital sex. Changing values associated with modernity have contributed to an increase in sexual behavior among Thai youths. The old generation still thinks that it is unacceptable since it is against Thai traditional culture whereas it is likely that more and more Thai adolescents willingly tend to accept this idea as common behavior in modern life. This research is therefore conducted to explore whether Thai teenagers think that sex before marriage is acceptable.

 Since ancient times, Thai women have been taught to remain a virgin or “rak nuan sa nguan tua” until the day they get married. (Serious side to your average Thai teen) Hence, Thai parents and many older Thais oppose losing virginity before getting married because it goes against Thai’s idea of being a nice woman. (Nophakhun) According to Thai proverbs women should be conceited in relation to their dignity. They are not supposed to even think of expressing their sexual desires otherwise they will be condemned as badly behaved women. (Supasit Son Ying) So, Thai parents and the older Thais want Thai teens to follow the old tradition that emphasize on maintaining one’s virginity that have been taught in Thai family. According to Dr. Yongyud Wongpiromsarn, an advisor of the ministry’s Department of Mental Health, in Thailand any conservative couples having sex before marriage are considered incorrect and unacceptable. (Kreangsak) Women’s value is mostly concerned with their virginity which is still lingered on to modern times as an old teaching. These appear to be strong social pressure for Thai women to remain virginity until they marry. Hence, sexual relationship before marriage is not right for Thai girls in older Thais opinion.

 Except from degrading Thai moral, pre – marital sex is also unacceptable in the eyes of the old generation as it is a major factor that causes other social problems such as illegal abortion. Dr. Surasing Wissarutrat – a health officer in Chiang Mai - stated in his research “Student abortion increasing” that the number of young female students in Chiang Mai who got unwanted pregnancies and ended up by illegal abortion clinics is in a sudden increase. Recently, a survey done by Assumption University sampled 1,762 students nationwide about sex before marriage reveals that more than a third of the respondents cited that they choose not to use condom to protect against getting pregnant. There is no doubt that Thailand is facing an incredible rise of abortion.

 In the twenty – first century since sex revolution has arrived in Thai society the majority of Thai teens tend to accept the idea of pre-marital sex as common. According to a research conducted by the Public Health Ministry on Thai teen’s sexual behavior, it presents the average age for first sexual experience in Thailand is 15 which is quite earlier than in the past. (Kreangsak) Moreover, the survey done by Assoc Professor Thanawadee Boonlue also provides the result that about 50 per cent of the 1,642 respondents said they have had sex with their boyfriends or girlfriends. (Usa) At the same time the Public Health Ministry research has found out that 60 per cent of high school female students have their first sexual activity with their boyfriends. The studis also show a very interesting point indicating that the desire of male teens to have sex with their mates has been a sharp increase because it is safer to have sex with their girlfriends than with sex workers.

 However, many modern Thai adolescents no longer respect the traditional idea of remaining the virgin before getting married. A large number of them stated that keeping virginity for marriage is quite an old-fashioned idea. (Usa) The finding of Suan Dusit Poll surveyed 1,473 Thai youths aged from 18 to 20 shows that 61.26 per cent of the respondents thought that having sexual relation before marriage is popular and fashionable among teenagers. It is very common in the twenty-first century in Thai society. This means that the traditional value about virginity is in decline among today teenagers.

 Nipa stated in her thesis that many Thai women think that their values does not involve with the idea of virginity any more. In contrast, their thinking, intelligence wisdoms and abilities should be more concerned as precious values that Thai women should have. “I don’t mention that preserving virginity is not good but some old traditions have to change to be suitable for modernized society.” Aoi an urban female teen said in the interview by Nipa.

 There are several reasons for Thai youths to choose whether to remain the virgin until their wedding ceremony. The results of a study performed by the Thailand Marketing Research published on September 18, 2002 in the Nation shows that Thai adolescents believe more in human rights in which women and men are treated equally in the modernized society. Thus women should not be condemned either by legalization or social judgments when they want to do many activities as men including the right to have their own sexual experiences before marriage. (Nipa) A survey of Suan Dusit Poll asking 1,437 men and women aged 18 to 25 year olds about sex, interestingly presents that 61 per cent of the respondents agreed that there is nothing wrong to have sexual relationship before marriage. It is a personal matter which depends on situation and one’s readiness. Another survey of Suan Dusit Poll conducted on 10-12 February, 2004 sampled 1,374 teenagers who still study in high school and university, shows that 51.32 per cent of them were willingly deflowered by their boyfriends.

 In addition, Thai female teens also view having sex with their boyfriends as the way to express love to each other. Young women engaged in sexual relationship primarily to keep a boyfriend in order not to go out with another woman. (Usa) In her article, 50.3 per cent of 3,283 teenagers aged between 15 and 24 nationwide saw sexual intercourse is an act of love. Thai girls seem to be engaged in pre – marital sex because they are falling of love. (Anjira)

 Although it is inevitable that the idea about sex outside marriage is influencing Thai society, it seems that Thai adolescents are not ambivalent about accepting pre – marital sex which goes against the tradition of maintaining virginity before marriage of which they take a view as an outdated idea that their parents want them to obey. However, modern teenagers have more freedom to continue their life. Consequently, they think that having sex before marriage is absolutely their right and their expression of love to the opposite sex. Although many older Thais do not accept this change occurred, it is meant to be. Preventing the following problems about abortion and unwanted pregnant is the major subject that should be taught to Thai teens.

Anjira Assavanonda. “Teens Mostly Have Sex Early Evening.” Bangkok Post 13 Aug. 2001

Kreangsak Suwanpantakul. “No Red Faces.” The Nation 17 Oct. 2005

Nipa Jeeraphat. Sex Control for Thai Women: A Case Study about Sexual Control among teenagers. Social Science and Humanities Faculty Thammasat University, 1996

Nophakhun Limsamarnphun. “WATCHDOG: The Reality of Sex is Too Much for Some Folks.” The Nation 30 Nov. 2003

“Student Abortion Increasing.” The Nation 9 Aug. 2001

“Serious Side to Your Average Thai Teen.” The Nation 18 Sep. 2002

“SUAN DUSIT POLL: Sex before Marriage is Right.” The Nation 15 Jan. 2003

“Sex and Valentine’s Day among Thai Teen.” Suan Dusit Poll 10-12 Feb. 2004

Usa Shevajumroen. “Youth Say Sex an Act of Love.” The Nation 7 Feb. 2003

“Why Thai Students Don’t Remain Virginity or Rak Nuan Sa Nguan Tua?” Suan Dusit Poll 3 Sep. 2004

          Dressing in the colorful traditional shirt, she rocked the cradle to quieten her newborn baby in her futuristic house. Her gently crooned tune of a beautiful hill tribe lullaby made me go into a hypnotic trance and made the child to fall into a deep sleep. “Bang” a sudden gust of the wind blew the door shut and disturbed the infant’ sleep. She hurriedly held her son in her arms and tried to calm the frightened child.

“Oh my dear, I’m here. Don’t be afraid.” she said in Central Thai dialect.

“Why don’t you speak with Non in Northern Thai?” with Kham Muang – Northern Thai dialect – I asked her. Her contrary actions had got me completely baffled.

“I want him to be familiar with the standard language since he is a baby.” she responded without a hesitation.

          I was at my uncle’s house in the heart of Chiang Mai during my first year at Chiang Mai University. Lee – my uncle’s wife who is a Karean from Om Koy district – had just given a birth to her half-breed son. Normally, she speaks Khum Muang to every person in the house including her relatives in Om Koy. However, she refuses to transmit this cultural value to her only child whereas she still sings the Karean lullaby and continues wearing Lanna traditional clothes. Her irony actions threw me into a considerable confusion over preserving Lanna culture; our great valuable heritage.

           Lanna lanuage is gradually disappearing as Northern Thai people live their life mostly with modernity. More and more people; not only the hill tribes, believe that speaking Kham Muang is rather old-fashioned and out-dated. My aunt-in-law also feels that she should not teach Non to e able to speak Northern Thai. She has a strong belief that speaking Khum Muang with the boy at home causes him to use Central Thai inaccurately and not fluently. Moreover, it shows the un-civilization. She is afraid that her beloved son would be looked down on when she sends him to a private school where everyone uses only Central Thai. Undoubtedly, this must be her reason not to speak Lanna language with him. She wants Non to have the best education from the most famous school and wishes him to be accepted in that small society till she forgets to preserve her son’s pride of belonging to Northern Thai citizens. However, the doubt remains in my mind. It is comparatively awkward and contradictory that Lee pays much attention to maintain Lanna traditional clothes as if she realizes that it preserves her identity and culture.

           Both language and costume are parts of Northern Thai culture which exist for a long time. They show brilliant wisdom of our forefathers. Thus neither of them is anything we should be bitterly ashamed of. In trying to preserve our valuable heritages, we should not focus only on one point and ignore others since every aspect is as important to form the outstanding culture. Rejecting to save one part of our culture means a severe look down on our ancestors’ intelligence.

           The effective way of preserving the culture is to cultivate local people to realize its great value since they are young. To achieve this goal, parents have the most important role in teaching and supporting them to be enormously proud of their culture – not blocking them to perceive it. However, using culture in everyday life is the most effective way to keep the culture alive. Enthusiast Northern Thai citizens to speak Khum Muang in their routine; in family, workplaces and public, could prevent it to disappear from Lanna culture. Moreover, government and non-government organizations should cooperate to campaign using Khum Muang altogether with erasing the bad attitude of speaking it from local people mind. When we use more and more Lanna language in our life, we could realize that it is a part of our life that could not be lost.