A Great Chicken Recipe
Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing - imagine that!
When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out.
Give this a try.
BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN
Large chicken
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing
1 cup uncooked popcorn
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 220c.
Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn.
Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds.
When the chicken's arse blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it is done.
Ingredients
1 cup friendly words
2 heaping cups fo understanding
4 heaping teaspoons of time and patience
A pinch of warm personality
A dash of humour
Measure words carefully: add heaping cups of understanding
using generous amounts of time and patience;
cook with gas on front burner; keep temperature low --
DO NOT BOIL. Add a dash of humour and
a pinch of warm personality;
season to taste with Spice of Life;
serve in individual molds.
Take twelve whole months.
Clean them thoroughly of all bitterness, hate, and jealousy.
Make them just as fresh and clean as possible.
Now cut each month into twenty-eight, thirty or thirty-one different parts, but don't make the whole batch at once.
Prepare it one day at a time out of these ingredients.
Mix well into each day one part of faith, one part of patience, one part of courage, and one part of work.
Add to each day one part of hope, faithfulness, generosity, and meditation, and one good deed.
Season the whole with a dash of good spirits, a sprinkle of fun, a pinch of play, and a cupful of good humor.
Pour all of this into a vessel of love.
Cook thoroughly over radiant joy, garnish with a smile, and serve with quietness, unselfishness, and cheerfulness.
You're bound to have a Happy New Year!
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Are beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body / fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.,
Q: At the gym, a guy asked me to "spot" for him while he did the bench press. What did he mean?
A: "Spotting" for someone means you stand over him while he blows air up your shorts. It's an accepted practice at health clubs; though if you find that it becomes the ONLY reason why you're going in, you probably ought to reevaluate your exercise program.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - NoPain.
Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual expression and peace of mind. If you stop, you'll probably stress yourself to death in record time.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: What's the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about trying to live a longer and healthier life
This is a specially formulated diet, designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day;
BREAKFAST
1 Grapefruit
1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast
1 Cup Skim Milk
LUNCH
Small Portion Lean, Steamed Chicken with a Cup of Spinach
1 Cup Watkins Green Theratea
1 Tim Tam
AFTERNOON TEA
The rest of the Tim Tams in the packet
1 Tub of Rocky Road Ice Cream with Choc-Ice Topping
1 Jar Nutella
DINNER
4 Bottles of Red Wine
2 Loaves Garlic Bread
1 Family Size Supreme Pizza
3 Snickers Bars
LATE NIGHT SNACK
Whole Frozen Sarah Lee Cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)
DIET RULES
1. If no one sees you eat something, it has no calories;
2. When drinking a Diet Coke with a chocolate bar, the Diet Coke cancels out the fat in the chocolate bar;
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do not eat more than they do;
4. Food used for medical purposes does NOT count (for example: hot chocolate, toast, cheesecake and vodka);
5. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner;
6. Cinema related foods have a zero calorie count as they are part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake (this includes: popcorn, mints, Maltezers, Jaffas and frozen Cokes).
7. Biscuit pieces have no calories because breaking the biscuits up cause calorie leakage;
8. Foods licked from knives and spoons have no fat if you are in the process of cooking something;
9. Foods that are the same colour have the same amount of fat. Examples are: spinach and peppermint ice cream; apples and red jelly snakes.
10. Chocolate is like a food-color wildcard and may be substituted for any other color.
11. Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity and the density of the calorie mass;
12. Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to his / her plate (oh, how fat likes to cling!)
And remember: STRESSED SPELT BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS.
If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, oranges & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.
The Problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The Solution : Eat it in the parking lot.
Diet Tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.
A nice box of chocolate can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
If I eat equal amounts of dark and white chocolate is that a balanced diet?
Money talks......chocolate sings.
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? A. Because no one wants to quit.
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.
Dear Diary:
Monday:
Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Dan. Today I made angel food cake using Watkins Vanilla Extract for extra flavoring. The recipe said, "Beat 12 eggs separately." The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls"
Tuesday:
Dan wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said, "Serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Dan brought a friend home for dinner.
Wednesday:
A good day for rice. Recipe said, "Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." It seemed kinda silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any.
Thursday:
Today Dan asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, "Prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." Which is what led up to Dan asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
Friday:
I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put all ingredients in bowl and beat it." There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.
Saturday:
Dan did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. (oh boy) For some reason Dan keeps counting to ten.
Sunday:
Dan's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out like hamburger, much to my disappointment.
Goodnight, Dear Diary. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Dan. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with "Chocolate Moose."