I write again on day number four
Hoping to write of a different open door

I sat at my office, and I worked away
Striving to forget for just one day

But the pain in my joints, and burning in my eyes
Remind me, this is real, not a disquise

I listen to words of man and his quitar
Singing of life, I want mine to go far

every now and then I say the words to myself
I don't want to be sick, I want health

I want to be strong, in body and mind
So Lord, to me please be kind

I hate the waiting, and I hate the unknown
So, drift to a site and more knowledge is shown

I am looking for something, anything optimistic
Something that will take away the realistic
It's not there though, just the same ole stuff
I might lose my hair and the sickness will be tough

I call the doctor, because I don't want to wait
Just tell please, the biopsies date

They leave a message on my phone at home
Just wait for the letter and the date will be shown

Seems unfair to make me wait
I have planning to do, I need to know my fate

I check with HR to see where I stand
They tell me, I'll get 50% of my pay... That's just grand!

So, then I think of how I'll pay the bills
Then my thought drifts.. they said I need a living will

I just take a deep breath, and I hope for some peace
Then I moan for a moment, cuz the pain wont release

Of course I wonder, maybe now it's just in my head
But, all I want to do is just go home and get in bed

It's Valentines Day and I should do something fun
So the night has now begun

I have dinner with a friend who I really adore
He is kind, thoughtful and caring to his core

I go home now and I can't go to sleep
So I take a lot of medicine and I lay down and weep

I am lonely tonight, my son is not home
My family are far as if they lived in Nome

That's a town in Alaska, In case you didn't know
That's one of things I love, teaching the unknown

I am just sitting here writing on day number four
Waiting for that medicine to make me rest some more

I was thinking tonight, that my girl can drive in four days
Time goes by so quickly in this life of a maze

Medicine is working, so I better say goodnight
I need to get up from here and turn out the light

Happy Valentines Day!
Laura