I know you are talking, I can see your lips move
Once more in my life, I have something to prove

I can't hear what your saying just after the part
where you mention the loss of hair for a start
But your going to fast, I haven't gotten over the hair being gone

Then I focused in and you shared with me a figure
over five thousand, the number should be zero

Then as if interegation where in progres
My past laid out for you, while watering my stress

I guess it's in your hands now, and I have no control
I trust you with my life, to keep away the six foot hole

I trust that your advice to call upon the many
Family, friends will come to my aid and I'll depend on any!

For how can I, a girl striving for independance
Bow my head in acceptance

Dr... You don't know me or what I've been through
You don't understand because your not me, your you.

I am happier now, then I've been in my life
And with your words I feel yet, another knife.

I leave your office and am in shock
I can not cry, my tears, they are blocked

I decend through the elevator and I see the people all around
They look different now, moving but no sound.

I think they are going slow but maybe I am wrong
I can't tell what's real, I just walk and play along.

Then I get my son, and I think the world starts going faster
More reality sets in, Maybe I should call my pastor

I think my eyes are tearing up, but not ready to let go
I can't let him see me, cant let the fear show

Then he is off to his friends I began to nest
Cleaning this and that, not wanting to rest

I pick up his picture and he is funny as can be
Making the silliest of faces for me

That is the key to bring reality to my door The tears come like a river now and my knees hit the floor.

God of mine, please let him keep his mommy
We are one, he and I and he needs me to warm his tummy.

Then I make the calls that I dread to make
First my dad, and his voice shakes.

I ask him to tell the rest, because I simply can not
But, they all call me anyway because they love me alot!

That first night, I couldn't sleep at all
How will I handle this, I want to scream but I just lay there in awe.
Kevin calls me and reminds me of my strength,
I have been through alot in my life and it's length

I have the strength now, and I know I need help
I can not do this alone and that's a lesson heart felt

Good friends offer support and make me laugh
Drive me to my desitination. I think I have my own staff.

I am thankfull for my friends, I mean that from the deepest part
Thank you for caring and giving your heart.

Next year it'll be over and I'll be doing good.
And my life will finally be the way that it should.

Dr... I am sorry for that first day we met
I think I'll do better next time, now that some time has been spent.

Laura