I haven’t been able to sit down and write, it’s not because I don’t have a thousands words to share, its just that nothing seems right.

I think back to our days in Sepulveda, then to our days in Pahrump. I think of the smiles we shared back and forth.

I think about how I would always sit down next to on the couch and make up conversation, waiting until I finally made you laugh. I loved to make you laugh.

I remember always giving you a kiss goodnight, every night. It didn’t matter if you were mad at me, or I was mad at you. It didn’t matter if I was three years old or if I was visiting you at 30. I always kissed you goodnight.

I never fell short of saying I love you. I never was shy about the words I shared with you. Still the same I never said it enough.

I think about ‘should ofs’ all day long. I think about all the gifts you gave me and why I am so damn strong.

There are a thousands ways I could tell you how much I miss you. But there are a million things that come up every day that remind me of you.

I carry you with me in everything I am proud of about myself. Everything good about me is you Dad. It’s all from you. Thank you for my life, thank you for giving me 30 years to share your life. Thank you for Anthony – he has so much of you in him.

Thank you Dad, for who you were, for who you still are, for what you made me, and for the love I share with the world.

I have a lot to give this place, and it all stems from you. You are still giving to this world through me, and then through Anthony. Our heart of gold came from you.

Thank you, Dad. I will continue to make you proud.

I love you Dad. Deep down in my heart and in my soul.