"Take it from me because I learned the hard way: circumcisions are best left to professionals" ~ Mark

"What if testicles were things you could lose on a everyday basis? That would suck. You've only got three" ~Tom

"If I were a girl, every time I went to the gynecologist, I'd fake an orgasm" ~Mark

"I don't get boy bands these days. They don't write their own songs and everything is choreographed, from their dance moves, to how they have sex with each other after the show" ~ Tom

"If a person has brains, they probably don't listen to our music. If a person has any pride or any kind of family values, chances are they probably don't listen to us." ~Tom

"Fuck wiping dude!.. brings down the rain forest" ~ Tom

"It's so obvious that I have the most masculine attributes. If femininity were a sport, Mark and Travis would have a gold medal." ~Tom

Head's up, Seven up. Everyone close your eyes and if I come by and put my finger in your butt, than you're the one" ~Tom

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