Title: Tops and Tails
Author: Magalud
Pairing: SS/SB
Rating: unredeemed NC-17.
Category: Humour, Romance, Alternate Reality
Spoilers: OotP
Summary: Sirius won't bottom, and Severus insists to top.
Warnings: Coarse language. Explicit in many ways.
Note: Fred Astaire is cursing me from his tomb, I just know it. But the song stuck in my head, and the muse wouldn't have it any other way.
Disclaimer: *looks around* Nope, not mine. Pity, 'cause they have so much fun here. They do belong to JK Rowling, although she insists on murdering them with drapery and other unspeakable things.
Appreciation: Vaughn, from Perfect Imagination, for the excellent beta job, and also Amanda, who also pointed my mistakes and goof-ups.
Dedicated to the Yahoo group Potter Slash Fics, for their first anniversary. But also to the Snack people, because they make so much sense.


Tops and Tails


'For I'll be there,
Puttin' down my top hat,
Mussin' up my white tie,
Dancin' in my tails'
Top Hat, White Tie and Tails, by Irving Berlim


They came inside the room, tumbling, groping each other in a frenzy of limbs and tongues and hands. Dressed smartly, both had just returned from the gala ball at the Ministry of Magic after receiving the highest honors, praises and last but not least, an Order of Merlin each for their roles in the fall of Lord Voldemort.


At the moment, however, they expected to be praised for other things.


Finally, they made it to the bed, and clothes began to fly. Oh, both were wearing wizarding tuxes, and neither had imagined things would happen this way.


It all started at the ball: there had been mutual looks of appreciation, then some insistent and unequivocal flirting until they exchanged hot glances in the ballroom. Those were the cue to make their excuses and head back to Hogwarts, which they promptly did.


It had been so sudden, so unlikely, so improbable and deliciously exciting.


'Hmm', panted Sirius Black, opening up his soon-to-be lover's coat while licking the side of his neck. 'Snivellus, you're so sexy in this tux.'


'You're not so bad in yours – oh!' Severus Snape was bodily thrown into his own bed, clothes all tucked out but not quite discarded. 'Shut up and take it all off.'


'I'd rather undress you,' said the Animagus, hands greedily pulling off Severus's clothes.


'Always the procrastinator.'


'I love it when you talk dirty.'


They sped up things, almost ripping off their tux pants, underwear shucked out hastily. When both were finally naked, Severus pulled Sirius close, their skins meshing, their cocks rubbing, their lips almost gluing together. The breathing grew louder in the room, and so did the panting and groping. After long minutes, their lips parted and Severus threw back his head as Sirius started delivering small kisses all over his long, elegant neck. Sirius's oral fixation focused next on Severus's nipples. They were moaning and panting as they explored each other's bodies.


'Ah, yes. Right there...' Severus bucked his hips as Sirius's hands ventured over the curve of his buttocks.


'Merlin, I can't wait to sink inside your arse.'


And that undid the whole thing. Severus pushed him off, his voice low and dangerous. 'I beg your pardon?'




'I believe you are under the impression I'll let you bugger my arse. Let me keep things clear right from the start. I top exclusively.'


Sirius frowned. 'And you think I'll agree to be your bitch? You have another thing coming, Snivellus.'


'Am I to conclude you expect me to be your bitch?'


'Hell, yes!'


'Perhaps you’d better get a new perspective. As the adolescents tend to say nowadays, it’s so not going to happen.'


'If you think I’ll spread my legs for you, you’re dreaming.'


'I most certainly will not let you have your way with me if I’m not on top.'


'I bottom for no one.'


They stared at each other.


'Is that it?'


'Yes, that's it.'


'Is that your final word?'




'Are we at a deadlock?'


'So it would seem. Sure you don't want to reconsider?'


'No, but… Fuck, Snivellus, I'm so turned on. You look so hot.' Sirius started moving his cock, pressing it against Severus's leg and undulating his hips for some friction. 'Please let me in. I'll be gentle, I promise. Please.'


'Don't call me that. Stop being so childish, Black,' he snarled. 'And you will cease humping my leg as if you are some mongrel – which you are.'


'I'm horny. Let me fuck you. I'll make it good for you, I promise.' This was going all wrong, thought Sirius. All he wanted was a one-night stand, but he didn't want to work this hard for a fuck.


'I could say the same,' said Severus with a sneer. 'Actually, I can guarantee it.'


'No way!'


'You know, you're so adamant about it that it's suspicious.' Severus raised an eyebrow. 'One would believe that you never been a bottom in your entire life.'


'What if that's true? I bet a great Potions Master like you has never bottomed, either.'


'For your information, I used to bottom for one of my first lovers.'


'Really? Who? On second thought, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know if it used to be one of your Death Eater friends.'


'Fine by me. But you may like to know it was not totally… unpleasant.'


'So you liked it?'


'To some extent… yes.'


'Then what the fuck are you waiting for? You like to do it; let's do it, come on!'


'I will. If you go first.'


'Come again?'


'I have not come – yet.' A smirk. 'But, to answer your question, I will bottom for you if you go first.'


'You mean me, bottoming? No way, I said!'


'You should not be deprived from such an enriching experience. It is my belief you must try to bottom at least once in your life, and this is your chance.'


'Are you daft? I said no.'


'Then we are done here. You can pick up your, er, packages, and leave, because I will only let you have me after I have you.'


'Not fair! Snivellus, please… Look at it, poor thing.' Sirius showed him his cock: taut, throbbing, purple, thick and leaking. 'Poor thing needs to get inside somewhere, fast. Do you have the heart to let it down?'


The Potions Master had a wicked gleam in his back eyes. 'I wouldn’t dream of letting it down. My purpose is to keep it up.' He licked his lips.


'Then let me fuck you. Please?'


'Stop your whining, Black. I wonder why you are so stubborn.' Severus looked at him with an eagle eye. 'You are not one of those who believe that you’ll be less gay if you top, are you?'


'I’m not gay. I happen to be bisexual, thank you very much.'


Severus snorted. 'Does it mean you believe I have two sexes? Black, you’re in bed with another man. The fact that you also enjoy the company of females on occasion does not exempt you for being gay at this very moment. And bottoming or topping is quite germane in light of that, wouldn’t you say? To be gay means to enjoy the same sex, isn't it?'


Sirius’s embarrassment was almost palpable. 'Well, I wouldn’t go so far…'


'Or perhaps you have the absurd notion that bottoming makes you submissive in the relationship?'


'What do you mean? Of course it does.'


'No, it doesn't.'


'But I think… I thought…'


Severus realized Sirius had many pre-conceived ideas about being gay. The fact that Lupin was straighter than an arrow probably made it hard for the last of the Blacks to talk about his sexual orientation. James Potter surely was no help at all, either. So the Potions Master forwent all sarcasm and tried a different approach: understanding.


'Black… Sirius. That’s not true. Just because you bottom, it doesn’t mean I’ll be dominant. And for your information, dominant doesn't mean abusive.'


'I mean, I like being on top, and I don’t think I’ll enjoy bottom…'


'How can you say you like it if you’re never tried that? I knew you were stubborn, Black, but obtuse is a first.'


'I’m not obtuse. Besides, if it is so good, why don’t you give in and let me nail your arse?'


'I am a teacher. I feel it is my duty to teach you the pleasures of bottoming. For it can be really good, mind you.'


'That’s what you say.'


'Let me take you to places you’ve never been,' Severus whispered huskily, his hand gliding up Sirius’s thigh. His voice became richer, more sensuous. 'Besides, I’m a man of my word. You’ll have your turn later.' His mouth licked the shell of Sirius ear, and he shivered. 'I promised it, didn’t I?'


His hand reached between Sirius’s legs, making a part of the Animagus's brain melt under the gentle tug of his delicate balls. 'Yes, you did. But… Will it – oh, yea, there – Will it hurt?'


'I have a special potion for such occasions: it’s not only a lubricant, but also has a mild numbing effect to avoid any discomfort.' He started kissing Sirius’s leg and then looked him in the eye, his black ones gleaming as pieces of hot charcoal. 'I call it Virgin Brew.'


Before Sirius could protest at being called a virgin, Severus dove his head between his legs and engulfed as much as he could of Sirius’s cock inside his mouth. The Animagus jumped, and then melted at Severus’s touch, trying to suppress a moan. But his body was responding in so many ways, to so many sensations, that Sirius lost the ability of speech – or coherent thought.


Sirius was so turned on that he feared he wouldn’t last long under Severus’s gentle ministrations. Every time he imagined he was at the peak of his pleasure, the Potions Master would find a new touch, a new spot, and Sirius would start moaning again. He could not help to feel proud at the thought that he inspired this kind of passion in the circumspect and controlled Slytherin. Had Sirius regained the ability of reasoning, he would be able to see that Severus Snape was very much like a Muggle pressure pot, hot and ready to explode if properly induced. And by Merlin, was he induced correctly.


The thin lips sucked gently at the weeping tip of his cock, making him let out a small cry at the touch. Those amazing lips closed around Sirius and he was taken whole, swallowed inch by inch, harbored in a safe and exquisite haven of Severus’s warm mouth. It was becoming unbearable. So much pleasure.


'Sn – Severus… Oh!...'


If he hadn't his mouth so full, the Potions Master would have smiled at the needy tone of his lover's voice. He could almost feel the pressure building inside Sirius, so he attacked the cock between his lips with increased energy. He teased, he sucked, he licked and lapped. His hand held the base firmly as his mouth worked on the exposed tip, the head in willing submission to his oral caresses.


Severus used his fingers on Sirius's balls and parted his lips at the same time, taking him further and further inside his mouth. His name was spoken louder, and he took more of the Animagus, fighting the gag reflex. Then he changed the angle and plunged further, until he felt pubic hair tickle his nose. He looked up, saw the statement of pleasure in Sirius's face and then their eyes met. Grey and black.


Severus tried to pronounce Sirius's name while having him whole in his throat. The result was a deep hum at the back of the throat, a vibration that reverberated to Sirius's cock. The pureblood almost yelped. Severus repeated the sound, then his head backed out a little, his lips pressed even tighter on the swollen cock.


Sirius was almost insane. He tried not to move too much, nor buck his hips, so his hands were closed in fists, his eyes squeezed shut, and he started to scream. But when the humming stopped and the sucking began, Sirius knew he was lost.


Colours exploded before Sirius's eyes as Severus went on sucking and licking and tasting all he could from his lover. Unable and unwilling to hold under the Slytherin's caresses anymore, Sirius came in a shattering climax, yelling like a banshee in abandoned passion as his whole body went stiff and arched almost off the bed.


Sevrus never gave up on his oral hold of Sirius. As his lover orgasmed, he licked and sucked and cleaned him thoroughly. When Sirius’s body finally showed signs that he was alive, the Animagus was in a complete haze, not even sure he could remember how to make his lungs function again. He seemed to be totally out of oxygen, his muscles made entirely of rubber.


With a gentle kiss at the tip of Sirius’s now spent cock, Severus 'Accioed' the flask without pronouncing the spell. He took advantage of Sirius’s prostrated state and asked, 'Please turn over. It will be easier that way.'


Half-conscious, Sirius just flipped on the bed sluggishly and Severus put a pillow under his hips, looking at the firm buttocks, the enticing curves. His cock twitched a bit in anticipation as he flexed the other’s knees, making his nice arse stick out.


'I will now prepare you so the pain will be minimal. If you please part your legs and relax, we shall commence.'


'Do you need to be so formal? We’re in bed together, naked, and you’re about to… Oh, sweet fuck!'


Sirius’s diatribe was interrupted when Severus promptly parted his cheeks and kissed him. Not on the lips, though. Right there. No warning, no preparation, no nothing. Just those amazing lips thrilling him over again. Sirius had barely recovered from a mind-blowing orgasm, and there he was, getting more excited than he had a right to be.


Fuck, who would have thought Severus Snape was such a skilled lover? Sirius was practically on the verge of declaring him The Official Slytherin Sex God as that agile tongue began doing unspeakable things to his opening. His brain seemed to be slowly shutting down, and he was lost in a sea of previously unknown sensations.


It was so warm and nice, and gentle, and Sirius had never imagined being kissed in the arse, but Severus had quickly divested him of any conceived notion about being a bottom. Actually, Sirius’s prick was very much interested and half-way to recovery, and the man was losing his capacity to articulate thoughts at an alarming rate. He had never felt so many sensations, exquisite pleasures. Waves of excitement racked his body, causing him to shiver.


The tongue left his body and Sirius moaned at the loss. Then a gentle finger began a series of caresses in his now relaxed opening, in circular movements, eliciting gasps and muffled sighs from the Animagus. It was a good feeling. Sirius never thought he could be so sensitive back there, but apparently Severus knew exactly how to elicit those sensations from his body, playing him as if he were a fine instrument. The only sounds in the quiet dungeon were the fire crackling and the harsh breathing, with Sirius moaning eventually.


An oily finger slid cautiously inside Sirius, making him gasp in amazement, since it wasn’t hurting him. It was a minor discomfort, with a huge plethora of sensations. Suddenly he was filled, he was… connected. After a few seconds, until Sirius could get used to the sensation, Severus rotated the finger, and Sirius felt more. After a while, it was time to put a second finger, and this time Sirius had an impression of fullness around him, stretching his body. The discomfort grew for a moment, but by then he was used to it, and he knew he’d have to be stretched even more. But he was relaxed, he was fine. Hell, he was more than fine, and so was his prick, which was filling and stretching nicely.


'Are you all right?' Severus’s voice interrupted his half-coherent thoughts.


'Yes, sure.'


'You’ll have to tell me if it hurts.'


'I will, don’t worry. Now, don’t stop.'


When the third finger was introduced, Sirius gasped again and wriggled his ass in anticipation. Sirius was surprised to realize that he was actually anxious for more of that sweet pressure, to be filled, to be whole.


The fingers disappeared, and Sirius’s legs were gently parted. Severus used his oily hand to guide his cock to the tight hole and made its pink swollen head touch the opening. The mere touch seemed to send shivers down Sirius's whole body. Severus grabbed his hips and pulled him closer – and then leaned in to kiss the back of his neck. Sirius shivered.


In a smooth motion, Severus slid gently inside him, pushing past the tight ring of muscles. It was more than Sirius anticipated. He felt like he was entering through a dimensional portal to a world of fulfillment and completion, with Severus surrounding him everywhere. After a few seconds, Severus went even further inside him, and Sirius felt like he was glowing.


After the first few minutes of getting used to the sensations of Sirius’s tightness and heat, Severus could not help to begin to move inside him, his hands moving to caress the back of his lover, and he leaned in to kiss once more the nape of his delicious neck. Sirius began to thrust back, moaning louder, and then Severus found that magic little spot.


The reaction was instantaneous.




Ah, the pleasures of a stimulated prostate, grinned Severus.


'There! Oh, fuck, yeah, more!' panted Sirius, in a voice so delicious that Severus felt his prick engorging just from that enticing sound. 'More, please!'


Severus sped up his movements, hitting and hitting Sirius’s crux of pleasure and reaching onto the front to grab Sirius's erection and pump it. Sirius also thrust back in kind. At the same time, Severus tried to vary the angle of his thrust, not breaking the rhythm, pounding and pumping, pounding and pumping.


'Oh, fuck, Sev...! If you keep it up... Fuck…! I won't be able to…' he panted, brain in a major melt down. 'Oh, I will...'


'Yes. Come. Come for me, Black,' said the rich voice in such dulcet tones, even richer with arousal. He squeezed the head of Sirius’s cock. 'Show me you like it.'


The Animagus keened, and began to move in earnest, mumbling things Severus could not understand. The moans turned into cries that got louder and louder. Severus was a controlled man, but Sirius was begging so nicely that he would not be able to hold much longer.


'Please… please… Oh, fuck…!'


Severus could feel the explosion coming, and he wanted to warn Sirius as well as make him come, too. He hit his prostate again and again, gyrating his hips while entering Sirius. The Animagus bucked, totally out of control, with abandoned screams of pleasure. Then there was a silent blast inside Severus and the Potions Master went stiff, flinging his head back and opening his mouth in a silent cry. Feeling his body turning inside out, he fountained his hot semen inside Sirius's body. His pleasure triggered Sirius's own, and with a noisy outburst, the Animagus spurted his seed all over Severus's hand. All Sirius's muscles turned into jelly again and his knees failed him. He collapsed on the bed, bringing Severus with him, the springs complaining loudly when both bodies hit the mattress.


For many seconds inside the dungeons, there was no movement but the heaving and no noise but the panting. Sluggishly, Severus was able to take some of his weight from Sirius's back, and rolled them both to their sides, his rapidly softening penis still inside his lover.


Sirius felt his heart going three times faster than normal, and it did not have any sign of recovery soon. But he felt great. He never imagined his first experience in having a man inside him could be so satisfying.


Severus’s velvety voice interrupted his thoughts.


'Since you don't like me very much, I’m not sure you are agreeable, so I will ask you. Do you mind if we… embrace for a while?'


Sweet Merlin, the man wanted to cuddle.


'No, I don’t mind.'


There was a whispered spell, and they were both cleaned magically. Severus separated from Sirius, whose heart stung a bit as their physical connection was cut. Sirius felt arms pulling him close, but he settled Severus in his arms, the man’s head resting over his chest, probably listening to his racing heart. The Potions Master sighed deeply and drawled sleepily, 'Your turn tomorrow…'


Yeah, thought Sirius. When the morning comes, I can do the same to him.


Except that Sirius had never done that to anyone. His heart sunk in realization that Severus Snape, Greasy Git ™, had done for him things that Sirius had never done for any lover. He was attentive, gentle, kind, and considerate. Sirius wouldn't believe it possible for Snivellus to behave like that – in a way Sirius did not. To be honest, Sirius had always treated his lovers (female or male) like sex objects. To be taught such a lesson by Snivellus was beyond his beliefs.


And many of Sirius's beliefs were crumbling like sand castles. One of them was about bottoming. Damn it, he had enjoyed it. He wondered how many wonderful liaisons he had missed because of his stupid prejudice. But then, none of his potential tops had been Snape. It would never be the same.


Snape's breathing became steady and deep, indicating he was fast asleep in Sirius's arms. But the Animagus couldn't sleep at all. He had much to think about, to his chagrin.


He felt like a heel. Of all people, Snape had taught him lessons about sex. Merlin, what a lover. That mouth was worth a hundred million Galleons. And the prick was not bad, either. But what kept Sirius wake and absolutely flabbergasted was the warmth, the affection, the tenderness. Snape had treated him like a piece of fine china.


It had been a while since Sirius had been so cared for. So cherished. There was this girl from France, Giselle. She treated him well, but before that, he felt cared for only by James and his family, Lily included. And Remus, of course. Then there was Azkaban, where those memories were almost washed away. There was a chance those years damaged him. Because since then he had never felt so alive, so worthy to be loved than in Snape's bed.


Fuck, am I falling in love with the git?




Perhaps I should rethink this idea of a one-night stand with the git. Maybe also rethink that plan of fucking him in the morning. Because Severus is so much better than anyone I have ever had.


Bottoming might not be so bad, after all.


And then Sirius could feel sleep coming. He pulled Severus closer, and the Potions Master mumbled something, snuggling more into his embrace.


Not so bad at all.


The end