Title:   Faith

 

Author:   Debby A  (entlzha@yahoo.com)

 

Category:   Missing Scene for "Conversion"

 

Summary:   C'mon, you didn't seriously think getting the mutated Sheppard back home from the bug cave was going to be that easy, did you? ;-)

 

Rating:   PG

 

Disclaimer:   These characters and situations aren't mine.  No money made, no infringement intended.

 

Notes:   Thanks to Linda for excellent beta-reading services.  Any remaining errors are entirely mine. 

 

 

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Part One -- Choice

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"What the-"

 

Teyla turned from covering their rear just in time to see Ronon nearly drop Sheppard.  For just a second, she thought Ronon might have actually stumbled in their haste to get Sheppard back to the Stargate.  But then the colonel's body heaved and trembled violently, suddenly dislodging himself from Ronon's shoulder like he'd jumped.  A blind -- but skilled -- snatch by Ronon was the only thing that prevented Sheppard from a bone-crunching drop down the ridge line below their path.  Ronon's fist was bunched tightly into the colonel's vest, leaving him dangling unconscious above the rocky forest floor.

 

"Grab him!"

 

She didn't know who had yelled the words a moment too late.  But Ronon was already lowering the colonel down face-first.  Doctor Beckett was there just in time to receive his patient on the ground, carefully turning him over and holding his head firmly only centimeters off the rock.  The rest of them gathered around with little to do besides stare as Sheppard's body viciously convulsed in the dirt between them.   

 

It was a scene that was becoming disturbingly familiar.  Three times already just since they had left the caves. 

 

After several long moments of worried, awkward silence, the spasming began to die down.  Stiff, tense limbs still twitched randomly for several more seconds.  Beside her, McKay shifted uncomfortably. 

 

"They're getting worse."

 

Doctor Beckett, carefully pulling back the colonel's eyelids, didn't respond to her observation.  But it was obvious even to the untrained person.  The first seizure -- less than ten minutes up the vague animmal trail leading from the caves -- had barely lasted a few seconds and was localized to his chest and arms.  The second had followed only a few minutes later, after they had barely gotten started moving again.  And it had been even more intense.  This time, though, was definitely the worst -- the longest, the most violent, the quicckest recurrence.  

 

"She's right."  Ronon, standing across from her now.  He drew his gun again, because they all knew what would come next...

 

"Yes, they're getting worse," Beckett finally relented.  "And no, I still don't know why.  I don't even know what's causing them."

 

"Any chance it could, oh, I don't know, possibly be related to the fact that he's turning into a giant alien BUG?"

 

"Of course it has to do with that, Rodney.  And with the fact that I've been pumping him increasingly full of a very experimental viral inhibitor.  And with the fact that I just gave him a massive dose that probably should have killed him.  And with the fact that Ronon there has been repeatedly shooting him into unconsciousness with an alien gun."  He sighed.  "It could be anything, or a combination of all of them.  But I have no way of knowing how to treat it until we get him back to Atlantis."

 

Teyla laid her hand on the doctor's shoulder, reassuring him that they understood his frustration.  "Then we must be on our way again quickly.  Can he be moved y--"

 

She sensed slight movement in front of her and turned just as Ronon raised his weapon.  It was pointed directly between them now, at the colonel.  She followed the barrel's line of sight downward.  Sheppard's eyes were open.  Open, alert, and staring impassively up at them. 

 

This had happened faster too.  It had taken several minutes before he regained consciousness the last time.  Clearly, his changing alien physiology was being affected less and less by the stun setting of Ronon's weapon.  At this rate, they would be lucky to reach the Stargate before it became completely ineffective.

 

"Hello there," she offered in her calmest tone.  "Welcome back, Colonel."

 

Sheppard did not respond.  He continued to stare at each of them in turn, eyes landing finally on Ronon standing over him with a drawn weapon.  Whatever Ronon saw in that gaze, he met the challenge by raising his weapon a little more toward his prone target.  Still Sheppard didn't move.   

 

"Colonel," Doctor Beckett intruded on their silent dance, "can you understand me?"

 

The yellow eyes flicked upward toward the doctor leaning over him.  There was interest, keen intelligence, still in those eyes, but little that she considered recognition.  Doctor Beckett reached out toward him, but a hand snaked out to grab him by the wrist.  Ronon adjusted his aim--

 

--and stopped as Beckett moved into his line of fire.

 

"Get out of my way," Ronon ordered.

 

"Wait a minute."  Still captured by one arm, the doctor made no move to comply.  "We can't just go about shooting him every time he regains consciousness."

 

"It's worked so far."

 

"Look, while I... appreciate... your assistance, it's clear that either the retrovirus or the inhibitor drug is interfering with your weapon's ability to stun him and keep him that way.  What's worse, that weapon could be what's now taken to causing these seizures.  We need," he added in his most reasonable tone of voice, "to stop doing what we've been doing until we can determine what is harming him."

 

"The stun setting doesn't cause permanent damage."

 

"Not to humans in reasonably good physical condition.  He," Beckett tugged ever-so-slightly on his captive arm for emphasis, "is not in reasonably good physical condition.  In fact, he's not actually very human at the moment either."

 

"The doctor makes a good point," Teyla added.  "Something has changed, and clearly not for the better."  She gave Ronon a look of expectation, glancing meaningfully at his weapon.  When he chose not to respond, she pressed one hand to the side of the gun's barrel and slowly moved it to point slightly off behind them.  She then squatted down to look after Beckett's situation.  "Colonel, you are quite safe with us.  Would you please let go of Doctor Beckett now?"

 

As she addressed him, the yellow eyes shifted back to stare at her.  It was the eyes that she found most disturbing about his transformation.  The first time they met, she had looked into John Sheppard's eyes and found someone she could trust.  An ally she could trust with what she valued most -- her people.  The memory of her own conviction was what she used to calmly return his alien stare now, trying to project her good intentions and trustworthiness through her own eyes. 

 

And then, with sudden decision, Sheppard's fingers opened to release Beckett's arm.  The doctor slid his hand gratefully out of harm's way and pushed back away from the Colonel, retrieving his precious sample container from McKay as he did.

 

Teyla offered Sheppard an appreciative smile in return for the act of good faith.  "Thank you." 

 

Of course he didn't return the gesture, but she thought that if she had enough imagination, she might have seen some sliver of acknowledgment in his unreadable face.

 

"Now what?" The question was from McKay this time, still standing uneasily behind her.  "How are we supposed to get him to the Gate if we can't shoot him?"

 

"We could just ask him," Beckett said, standing up again and brushing one knee off. 

 

McKay's response was composed of something between a sigh and a tsk.  "You seriously think he's just gonna waltz through the forest back to the Gate with us?"

 

"He came here with us."

 

"Yeah, well that was an hour and a very large needle ago."

 

Beckett turned to appeal to Teyla and Ronon instead.  "I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might actually work."

 

"It sounds like you have an idea."

 

"Maybe..." he paused, gathering his thoughts.  "The question I keep coming back to is why did he run out of the cave?"

 

"I thought it was obvious...," McKay answered from behind him, "to get away from us."

 

"No, that was just a perk.  See, the iratus bugs are driven by instincts -- to seek out food sources, build nests, defend their young.  And as Colonel Sheppard has become more...changed... he's operated more and more on instinctual auto-pilot too.  Defense, escape, survival." 

 

Among other, more surprising, instincts  he had exhibited... Teyla licked her lower lip where she had briefly tasted the mint of his toothpaste only yesterday.

 

"And so what was the instinct that caused him to try to make a break for it back at the cave?" Beckett continued.

 

McKay ticked off three fingers.  "Defense, escape, survival?"

 

"Possibly... But at this point, he is essentially a combination of the instinct-driven alien insects and the very human John Sheppard.  And considering that we haven’t seen some of the most powerful instincts of the iratus bugs manifest—“

 

“Like feeding,”  McKay helpfully fulfilled in.

 

”--like feeding.  It leads me to wonder, then, what would the human Sheppard's dominant instinct be when he's in trouble?"

 

"To defend himself," Ronon answered.

 

"And through that, to get back home," Teyla finished. 

 

"Aye.  And the Gate is the only way home.  Maybe some part of him still knows that.  At the cave, he had very little interest in us, remember.  Just in getting wherever it was that he was going."

 

Teyla mulled over the idea, glancing at her two teammates to assess their responses to the doctor's theory.  She was surrounded by obvious skepticism.  But she found herself agreeing with Beckett's reasoning.  This entire mission was based on the belief that John Sheppard was still there, inside somewhere.  If they could use that to their advant--

 

Suddenly she was in the air, and the ground came up hard to knock the wind out of her.  Gasping and choking, she tucked her head in as she rolled two or three times across the rocks.  One hand grabbed a sapling to yank herself to a stop.  Immediately she flipped herself over and brought her gun up, struggling to get back to her feet. 

 

What happened?!?!

 

Ronon lay on his backside up against the rock face, firing into the trees across the small path and down the ridge line.  McKay was helping Beckett up off the dirt.  Sheppard was gone.

 

Ronon stood up, moving in two long strides to stand over the edge of the embankment and the forest clinging to its side.  She stepped up beside him just in time to see a black two-legged form nearly at the bottom of the incline.  Ronon fired red bursts twice more into the trees, but the target was moving too quickly.  Then it was gone.

 

He let out a coarse word in an alien tongue she didn't recognize.  "I told you I should've shot him when I had the chance!" 

 

"No," Beckett said from behind them, "I still think that may be making things worse."

 

Ronon stormed away from the edge, back toward the others. 

 

"Worse?"  McKay now.  "How could things possibly get worse?"

 

Teyla stood still for a moment in case the universe decided to answer McKay's question.  When it did not, she moved on to the problem now at hand.  Sheppard, in his new form, had too many advantages over them.  It had been hard enough to track him with the technology in Atlantis.  Out here, it would be next to impossible...

 

"What are you doing?"  McKay's annoyed voice drew her attention back to the team spread out around her. 

 

Ronon, his weapon put away, was shedding his long coat.  He tossed it at McKay, who scrambled to catch it before it landed in his face.  Hands freed, Ronon pulled out his gun again and checked its charge.  "I'm going after him.  You get the doctor back to Atlantis."

 

"And just how do you expect to find him?"

 

Ronon's dark eyes looked up at McKay as his hand spun the gun in a neat circle and holstered it again  "This is what I do."

 

"If it helps, the aftereffects of the seizures should slow him down," Doctor Beckett offered.  "Granted," he craned his neck to look down the ravine, "obviously not near as much as they should be...." 

 

Ronon stalked back over to the path's steep edge and peered down.  Afternoon was advancing quickly, turning the forest below into a jumble of long shadows that rustled and moved with every breath of wind.   

 

Teyla watched him size up the challenge.  "Even if you can track him the way he is now, it will not be easy.  Nor quick."

 

"I'm going to find him."  He turned to look directly at her.  Half an amused smile played around the edges of his mouth.  "And then I'm going to shoot him.  Again.  And if anyone wants to argue about it this time, I'm going to shoot them too."

 

She leaned in toward him a tiny bit, lending a false air of earnest confidentiality.  "Try not to sound too eager about shooting your teammates.  It makes the others nervous."

 

He mirrored the gesture toward her.  "Maybe they should be."  Even as he said it, his eyes flickered just enough to see McKay shift uncomfortably back half a step.  He threw her one last satisfied grin.  "Not getting back to Atlantis will hurt him more than me shooting him will."

 

Even Doctor Beckett didn't argue that assertion.  Time, and their options, were becoming extremely limited.  How much time did he have before he was completely gone?  And if they returned to Atlantis without Sheppard, how much longer could Doctor Weir hold off Colonel Caldwell's soldiers from doing things their way?  First Aiden, and now John.  The Wraith were claiming her team without firing a single weapon. 

 

"I will come with you," she announced.  She paid no attention to the inarticulate sounds of argument from both doctors.  "Did you see which direction he was going?"

 

"West.  Although if he's still Sheppard, he may already be backtracking to lose us." 

 

"West," she repeated.  The direction they were already headed....  A coincidence?  "West toward the Stargate."

 

"Or, west toward the 413 miles between us and the edge of this continent!" McKay countered exasperatedly.

 

"Or, west toward the Stargate," Beckett repeated, stepping closer to Teyla.  "It could fit my theory."

 

“You really think he could even use the Stargate right now?”

 

“I didn’t say he could use it, Rodney, I said he might be drawn to it.”

 

"’Might’.  And if you're wrong," McKay responded, "he could be half a planet away before morning."

 

"But if I'm right, and we go wandering around the forest blindly, we could lose too much time to save him!"

 

Teyla listened to the arguments silently, weighing them.  When they had stopped talking, she realized they were watching her now.  Waiting for her to make the decision on their next move.  Even Ronon was still standing impatiently at the outer edge of the path behind her, waiting.  Watching. 

 

Watching her too, in her mind's eye, were Sheppard's slitted, enigmatic yellow eyes.  He could not afford for them to be wrong. 

 

"Doctor Beckett, Doctor McKay and I should head back to the Stargate while Ronon attempts to track Colonel Sheppard."  Releasing her gun to dangle loosely from her vest, she turned back toward Ronon.  "If it becomes clear that he is not headed in the direction of the Stargate, call me immediately."

 

He nodded once and then disappeared into the ravine.  She watched him half-slide at an angle down into the brush until he vanished completely. 

 

"Good hunting." 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Two -- Instinct

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Teyla halted what remained of her team at the edge of the small meadow that held the Stargate on its short raised platform.  The sudden stop caused McKay to bump noisily into her from behind, and she grabbed his vest to pull him to the ground with her. 

 

"Anything?"  Beckett whispered loudly just behind her left ear. 

 

She pulled the small binoculars from her vest pocket, scanning the clearing and the edges of the forest beyond.  There was nothing, animal or human, to be found.  "I do not see him."

 

Beckett sighed.  "Looks like you may have been right again, Rodney."

 

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, this was one time I'd have been happy not to be."

 

Their conversation faded behind her as she continued to search the area with the binoculars.  The spreading sunset was lending a harsh orange glow to the sky behind and above the trees, adding one more layer of difficulty to the task of finding one human in dark clothing among the dark foliage surrounding them.  Even when fully himself, the colonel was very good at being invisible when he chose to be.

 

"I will search the area."  She slipped the binoculars back into her pocket. "Doctor Beckett, dial the Gate and return to Atlantis.  This is our problem now, and you have your own problem to solve.  You must be ready when we find the colonel."

 

Beckett nodded, gripping his sample container more tightly.  

 

"Rodney," she turned toward her teammate, "keep watch on the Stargate while I circle the perimeter.  If you see Colonel Sheppard, call me and just... try not to look like a threat."

 

"I can do that."

 

"I knew you could.  Please go now, Doctor." 

 

She stood, staying low to the ground, and slipped off into the undergrowth as Beckett moved into the clearing.  She watched him slowly exit the safety of cover, both hands wrapped protectively around the container of eggs.  He stood for a moment, eyeing the surrounding trees.  But when no genetically-altered human came out to attack him, he gained confidence and hurried out toward the DHD.

 

She was nearly a quarter of the way around the rough oval of the tree line when the rush of the wormhole interrupted the silence.  She glanced back as the doctor hurried into the Stargate, hoping that perhaps the activity might draw the colonel out.  But there was still nothing.  Moving past the Gate and toward the far side, she hoped Ronon was having more luck.

 

And then there was a slight noise.  Perhaps the snap of a twig or the knock of a stone.  She stopped immediately, but there was no other movement.  That omission alone was enough to convince her that it may not have been a natural sound. 

 

"Colonel?" she called out.  "We are not going to harm you.  We are only here to help."  Nothing moved.  "Colonel Sheppard?"

 

Suddenly something did move.  Something large.  Ronon burst up the side of a short incline only a few meters in front of her.  With the hand not holding his weapon, he grabbed at a tree to help haul himself up the dirt slope.

 

"What are you doing here?!" she yelled as he passed.

 

He barely glanced in her direction as he ran.  "I guess your doctor was right!" 

 

"He often is."  She turned and followed him. 

 

"Did you see him?" 

 

"No."  She jumped up and over a fallen tree in their way.  "I believe I heard him, though!"

 

She took the lead, turning them in the direction where she thought she had heard movement a moment ago.  The trees ended abruptly at the base of a short rocky cliff.  Ronon stopped, examining the sheer face.  He stood still, listening and watching and sucking in lungfuls of air. 

 

"Colonel?" she called out again.  "We can help you get home!"

 

It didn't even elicit a snapped twig. 

 

"He doesn't seem interested in help getting anywhere," Ronon commented.

 

"It appears so." 

 

"If," he added, "he can still understand us.  Without the doctor's drug in him."

 

She shook her head.  "He may not be able to communicate, but I do believe that he still recognizes us and what we mean to him."

 

Ronon looked sideways at her.  "You think it's enough?"

 

"Teyla!"  McKay's voice burst over the radio, followed by a string of mumbled bits of conversation.  "Oh, hey now, that's not...  Teyla!" 

 

"McKay?"

 

McKay didn't answer.  She tried again.  There was a long moment of silence, then McKay's scream filled her ear. 

 

"Rodney!" 

 

Teyla was moving before the sound died.  Ronon quickly overtook her, his long legs unhindered by the rocky terrain.  She pushed herself to keep close behind him as he cleared the brush bodily, creating a path.  After only a few seconds, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him out into the open field with her, cutting across the grass to where she left McKay.

 

But McKay was gone.  Smeared footprints and matted grass marked where they'd been hiding, but the only remnant of McKay was his handgun on the ground under the edge of a short spiky bush. 

 

Ronon stooped to pick up the gun.  Securing it in the waistband of his pants, he glanced around them.  "Over there!"

 

She wasn't sure what Ronon saw, but she followed anyway.  As her eyes adjusted to the dense patchwork of shadows again, she finally got a good look at what had caught Ronon's attention.  At the same time, she began to hear it as well. 

 

"Hey!  Over here!"  McKay bellowed.  "Get me down!"

 

He was stuck in a tree.  Perhaps halfway up an immature evergreen tree, hanging in the V-shaped space left by two main branches.  Arms and legs and torso flailing in every direction, he was fortunate that he hadn't already shaken himself right off the branch. 

 

"He attacked me!" he squeaked.  "Minding my own busin-"

 

"Are you hurt?"  She moved far enough to get a good look at McKay's predicament.

 

"He dragged me around and shoved me up a tree!  Of course I'm hurt!"

 

But he was not.  Despite all his protesting, he was moving quite freely with no hint of pain in his face or voice.  The Colonel had wedged him up only a few meters above ground, and obviously not with intent to harm him.  That, she believed, was a conscious choice.  He had not been so careful with the soldiers on Atlantis, after all.  Here, though, he had simply gotten McKay out of the way, in a reasonably embarrassing but essentially harmless manner.  It was exactly something that Sheppard would do. 

 

McKay continued chattering excitedly, pushing himself backward until his legs hung freely off the edge.  As he did, the entire branch bowed and shivered, shaking loose a shower of dying needles. 

 

"Doctor McKay!" she called.  "Rodney!"

 

"What?!?"

 

"Stop moving before you fall.  Those branches do not look very stable."

 

The threat of imminent danger stilled him immediately. 

 

Ronon put away his weapon, moving around to the other side of the tree to examine the limbs from that angle.  "The branches are more solid over here.  Slide around to the other side and climb down from there."

 

"Why did he attack McKay?" Teyla wondered aloud.  "He is hardly a threat."

 

Ronon walked back toward her, eyes still carefully watching the area around them.  "He attacked our weakest link because he knew we'd stop to help."

 

"Hey," McKay objected, "what do you mean 'weakest link'!?"

 

"So this was a diversion, you think?" she concluded.  And, although it shouldn't have, the successful tactic gave her a small stir of joy.  Again, it was so very much like the Sheppard she knew.  "Then you should keep going.  I'll see to Doctor McKay."

 

Ronon was gone before the words were out of her mouth.  She turned her attention back to McKay, talking and sliding himself bodily around the curve of the tree.  His foot blindly felt for a nearby branch, and she directed him toward it.  Within a few seconds, he had perched himself on the new limb.  From there, it was a relatively simple climb down one more branch before he would be able to safely jump to the ground. 

 

An energy weapon discharged somewhere behind her.  She turned, but Ronon was long out of view.  She did, however, easily recognize his gun’s distinctive sound.  Two more shots enabled her to get a sense of where the sound was coming from.  She headed in that direction.

 

"Wait!  What about me!?!" McKay yelled from behind her.

 

"Follow when you can!"

 

She came up on Ronon's position quickly.  Standing with his back to her, he had his weapon drawn and targeted.  He was facing another section of barren cliff face, this end larger than the end at the far side of the meadow.  It rose above them perhaps fifteen meters, stretching out far to both sides. 

 

And clinging to the side of the cliff halfway up was Colonel Sheppard.  He appeared to be holding on to the exposed rock face with nothing more than his fingertips.  And he was watching them.  Watching Ronon, specifically.  A motionless, easy target watching them more with curiosity than with concern.

 

"Now he's just making me mad," Ronon informed her, not turning around.

 

Teyla came to a stop beside him.  His upraised weapon partially blocked her view of Sheppard.  "What is he doing?"

 

"Nothing."  He gestured with the gun, but Sheppard didn't react.  "He's hanging there doing nothing because he knows I can't shoot him while he's up there!"

 

As if to confirm Ronon's assessment, Sheppard took his eyes away from the man with the gun to look in her direction.  And for a fleeting moment, she could actually see in his expressionless face the familiar self-satisfied smirk of their team leader.   

 

"So, any ideas?" she asked.

 

"We could take our chances," Ronon offered, waving his gun in the colonel's direction again.

 

She shook her head.  "You cannot stun him while he's up there.  That fall could injure or even kill him."

 

"And that would definitely make the doctor more upset with me."

 

"I doubt the doctor would be your biggest problem."  Unclipping her gun from her vest, she stepped forward.  "Colonel Sheppard?"  She handed the weapon to Ronon as she passed.  "John?"

 

His given name drew a faint response.  His head shifted a bit, which she chose to see as interest in the conversation.  She tried not to notice that it also made the advancing gray leather of alien skin on his face and neck more visible.  

 

"We just want to take you home, John.  We think that is somewhere you would like to go yourself." 

 

She felt his attention center on her.  Whether it was her words, or her tone, or just her, she didn't know.  But it didn't really matter as long as something was reaching him.  Encouraged, she took another measured step toward him. 

 

"We can do this any way you prefer.  But we need to do it now."  Another step closer.  "You can feel it getting worse, can't you?"   

 

"Oh, man, how is he doing that?"  McKay's voice, loud in the quiet forest.  "The human body was just not designed to do--" 

 

McKay's labored breathing got louder as he hurried up from behind.  Sheppard's head tipped back up to look over her toward the newcomer behind.  Whatever he saw there, he didn't appear to like very much.  With a sudden jolt, he crawled/hopped upward another meter away from them. 

 

She whirled on McKay.  "McKay, stop!" 

 

He did.  Mid-stride.

 

"Rodney," she said more calmly, "just stay where you are and be quiet.  Please."

 

Ronon stepped up closer beside her.  His eyes never left Sheppard.  Neither did his gun.  Teyla glanced up to see if they had lost further ground with the Colonel.  Slightly farther above them now, still dangling impossibly from the rocks, he watched McKay nervously watching him.  

 

"We're wasting time," Ronon whispered just loud enough for her to hear.  "I'm gonna try to get above him.  You keep him busy."

 

Sheppard's head suddenly jerked back toward her and Ronon.  The tiniest of frowns appeared and his body tensed.  If she hadn't been studying him for so long now, she would never have even noticed the change.  But she had a sense of him now, of the tiny flickers of expression and communication of which he was capable.  And what she felt now was him gathering himself to run...

 

"Put your weapon down," she ordered Ronon.

 

"What?"

 

She took hold of Ronon's gun hand, leaning back toward him without removing her attention from the colonel.  "He heard you."

 

"He couldn't have heard that."

 

"He also could not be hanging from the cliff that way.  Yet there he is.  So put the weapon away now." 

 

Reluctantly, Ronon slid the gun back into its holster.  But it did nothing to relax Sheppard.  Coiled in anticipation, fingertips moving lightly across the rock, he studied them. 

 

"This is ridiculous," Ronon fumed. "We have to take a chance on something.  Anything we try has a risk of spooking him."

 

"As much as it pains me," McKay added from behind, still not daring to move closer, "I agree with Ronon.  This is getting us nowhere, and Carson made it painfully clear that we don't have much time."

 

"I know that," she hissed back at them.  "But if we lose him, we will have no chance of finding him again in the dark."

 

"Which is why," making use of his height, Ronon leaned in over her, gesturing with her own gun, "we have to act now!"

 

There was abrupt movement up on the cliff face.  That odd vertical crawl/hop brought Sheppard two or three meters back down the rocks closer to where they stood arguing.  His whole body still tightly-wound, his dark eyes were intently focused on her and Ronon. 

 

Or, more particularly, on Ronon. 

 

And he was not pleased. 

 

Ronon, she noted, had done nothing openly threatening toward the colonel, but he had reacted anyway.  What he had reacted to, in fact, had been Ronon's frustrated advance on Teyla.  She watched Sheppard watch Ronon, and then herself.  And she saw for the first time the change.  A minute, nearly indiscernible change as his attention shifted.  A difference between the way he watched Ronon and the way he watched her.   The former an enemy, the latter something else entirely.  A very interesting difference...

 

"Ronon, back away from me slowly."

 

He didn't waste time asking questions.  As she heard him moving through the dirt, she concentrated on Sheppard's reaction.  The action caught his notice.  But as Ronon got farther away from Teyla, the colonel's attention returned to her. 

 

And she watched him watch her.  Watch her with an intense interest, a focus.  Perhaps even a desire.  The thought was unsettling, but she did not back away from it.  Not the way she had done before....

 

//At her yell, Sheppard turned on the stairs to look directly at her.  Acutely aware of the bodies of the soldiers he had already taken down, she held her gun up purposefully.  He began to move.  Down the stairs, slowly, advancing on her.  Not advancing upon an enemy, cold and calculating, the way he had attacked the soldiers.  Advancing as though he was drawn to her.  She fired a single warning shot, but it did not deter him.  And she began to feel afraid.  Afraid of John Sheppard for the first time.  She heard herself plead with him to stop this madness.  Another step, his eyes focused on her so intensely... It was like nothing she had felt before.  It was primal.  Her instincts took over, and she was firing defensively in front of him.  He turned and ran.//

 

"Instinct."

 

"Huh?"

 

Instinct was the key.  Beckett had been right -- what they needed to do was find out what drove the creature inhabiting John Sheppard and then use that.  She understood now. 

 

She turned back toward McKay, gathering Ronon in with a nod of her head.  "We are going back to the Stargate."

 

Both of her teammates balked at the idea, but she was already moving.  With her leading resolutely back into the forest, they soon had no choice but to follow.  McKay first, mumbling and confused.  Ronon said nothing, but it took several more seconds before she heard him turn away from the cliff and his prey.

 

Ronon caught up to her quickly.  "What's going on?" 

 

She took her gun back from him.  "I have an idea."

 

"What kind of idea?"

 

She was still formulating the plan, but she knew she couldn't share it with Ronon yet.  If she did, there was doubt that she would even get him to the Stargate.  "I will explain when we get there."

 

She took the lead again, sensing his unhappy glare on her back.  When they broke out of the trees in view of the Stargate, the sun was starting to set in earnest.  It would be dark soon, and she would have preferred not to do this with the disadvantage of darkness.  But Ronon had been right -- a risk was necessary.

 

"Rodney, please dial home."

 

"What?  We're going back to Atlantis?"

 

She handed McKay her P-90.  "You two are going back to Atlantis."

 

There was a short moment of silence.  "Us," Ronon clarified, "but not you."

 

"Not me."  She began unstrapping her handgun from her leg.  "I am going to bring Colonel Sheppard back."

 

"How?" McKay asked skeptically.

 

"It's not important."  Her holster unfastened, she wrapped it around the gun and handed the whole thing to Ronon.  "What is important is that for this to work, you both need to leave."

 

"What are you gonna do, talk him into the Stargate?" McKay asked.

 

"Not exactly."  She turned away from Ronon, choosing to deal with McKay instead.  "But I think Doctor Beckett's idea of using his instincts to our advantage might still work."

 

"Isn't that what made him go all cat-in-a-tree on us?"

 

"That was... one instinct.  I am planning to use a different one."

 

"What kind of instinct?"

 

"The kind of instinct that, of the three of us, only I can cause."

 

"What, like...um...?"  McKay's face did a strange little dance as he found his way to her line of reasoning.  "Oh."

 

"You're not seriously thinking of using yourself as, what, bait?"

 

Divested of her guns, she debated about what to do with her knife.  She didn't want Sheppard to find her a threat.  But at the same time, she did not wish to be completely unprotected either.  There was trust, and then there was just foolishness.  "What we need is a stronger instinct than self-defense and survival."

 

"What makes you think he'll even show up?" McKay asked skeptically.

 

She considered her words carefully, like she would during any sensitive negotiation.  "Since he was infected, he has already demonstrated a certain... interest... in me."

 

"Oh," was all he could find to say in response. 

 

"When?" Ronon demanded. 

 

She turned back to face him.  "On Atlantis."

 

"What happened?"

 

"Nothing happened."  Nothing happened, she deliberately avoided mentioning, only because there had still been more human than alien in him at the time.... 

 

"Why didn't you say anything about this before?" McKay asked.

 

"Because," she answered, not turning away from Ronon, "what happens between Colonel Sheppard and myself is no one else's concern."

 

"So it wasn't 'nothing'," Ronon said with a hint of accusation.  

 

She refused to address the implied question.  There was no time to let herself be drawn into an argument about something that was already history.  "It merely shows that this can work."

 

"It shows that this is crazy," he countered.  "Crazy and dangerous."

 

"I would think," she smiled playfully, "that you would show more support for 'crazy and dangerous'." 

 

But the attempt at humor fell flat.  Ronon was clearly in no mood to be the subject of any diversionary tactics.

 

"I will be fine," she insisted instead.  "It is still Sheppard, after all."

 

"Is it really?"

 

That certainly was the question, wasn't it?  How firmly did she still believe that it was Sheppard inside his head?  And how far was she willing to go in that belief?  "Yes, he is still Colonel Sheppard.  I believe that."

 

McKay snorted.  "A Sheppard who is stronger, faster, and not bound by the same rules any more." 

 

"John Sheppard is John Sheppard.  And he will not harm me."

 

"There has to be a better way," Ronon insisted.

 

"How much time do you think he has left?"  She pointed toward the darkening sky.  "We cannot chase him around this planet all night, and so far we haven't been able to take him by force.  Every moment's delay could be costing him irreversible damage.  What I am proposing is... unconventional, yes, but it may be our last chance to get him home in time to save his life." 

 

He stepped back.  The move was one of unspoken accession, the giving up of territory to an opponent.  "If you're going to do this, we all stay together."

 

"You cannot stay.  He sees you as a threat, as the enemy.  Doctor McKay just makes him nervous.  You both must leave, and you must do it now."

 

"No." 

 

"Yes."  She moved into the space he had just vacated.  "He has found nothing but danger from us so far.  We've confined him, chased him, shot at him, and drugged him.  It is time to try something new.  He wants to go home, but he needs an incentive that outweighs the threat that home poses.  If I can bring him to the Stargate, then I believe he will come through it with me."

 

He pulled his weapon out of its holster, flipped it around and presented the hilt to her.  "At least keep this."

 

"That is not going to be necessary.  He will not harm me."

 

"You don't know that."

 

"I have faith."

 

He pressed the weapon into her hand.  "I don't."

 

"Yes you do.  You have great faith, Ronon, though you may not realize it."

 

"What makes you think that?"

 

"Because you survived years of Running."

 

"Survival is just survival.  It's instinct."

 

"Survival, for you, was a choice.  You chose to believe that things would change, that something would come along to make it worthwhile.  Considering what a terrible ordeal you must have been going through, I call that an act of pure faith."

 

"I call it wanting revenge bad enough to stay alive."

 

She ignored the protest.  "You were right to believe.  Because something did come along to give you a second chance.  And that something is out there in the forest right now, in need of someone to believe in him."  She handed the gun back to him.  "My faith is not blind.  It is based on history.  He will not let me down."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part Three -- Belief

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

"Automatic shutdown in fifteen seconds."  McKay's voice in Teyla’s ear startled her.  

 

"I understand."

 

There was a short sigh on the other end of the radio.  "We'll give you five minutes to redial."

 

She stood up, kicking the tree branch beside her out of the way.  "I appreciate the company, Rodney."

 

"Funny how it takes sheer desperation for someone to appreciate me around here..."

 

She smiled as the wormhole disengaged, cutting off any further observations.  McKay was worried, too.  Anxiety in Rodney McKay, unfortunately for those around him, tended to manifest itself in speech.  Great, bubbling fountains of speech, nervously spewing forth whatever thoughts frothed about on the surface. 

 

In the semi-darkness once again, she stepped off the short platform holding the Stargate and into the grass toward the DHD.  She had the wormhole reopened and casting its familiar blue light over the clearing well within McKay's five-minute deadline. 

 

It was a good idea McKay had come up with, to keep the Stargate open.  Ostensibly it kept her in contact with Atlantis, reassuring them of her safety.  However, in reality maintaining the wormhole also prevented Doctor Weir from forcing her to come home or sending Colonel Caldwell's soldiers through.  It bought Teyla time. 

 

Twice she had already reset the Stargate, though.  At thirty-eight minutes each time, she wasn't sure how much longer the others would keep waiting.  Or how much longer they could keep waiting.

 

Movement.  Just at the edge of her vision.  And the eerie sense of being watched.  She stopped, one foot still on wet grass and the other on stone.  Slowly, she looked around.

 

"John?"

 

He was standing behind the DHD, just at the edge of the rippling light thrown off by the wormhole.  Unnaturally quiet, his face hidden mostly in shadows. 

 

"Hello."

 

He didn't respond.  She stepped backwards up onto the platform.  Two sideways steps, and she was able to use the toe of her boot to slide the tree branch back into the edge of the wormhole.  McKay's idea again.  He had called it a Dead Man Switch.  She'd been unfamiliar with the term, but the concept was universal.  If there was any trouble, she simply kicked the object out of the event horizon.  The Stargate would shortly deactivate, both alerting Atlantis and allowing them to send reinforcements.

 

Not that it would be necessary.

 

Carefully, casually, she reached up to remove her radio earpiece.  What she really could not have right now was for any well-intentioned listeners on Atlantis to overreact.  "I was hoping you'd come." 

 

Cautiously, Sheppard looked around them.  His yellow eyes glittered strangely in the colors of the Stargate. 

 

"The others have gone."  Pocketing her radio, she held steady ground in front of the Gate.  Let him come to her.  "It is just you and me."

 

Another long moment of heavy stillness.  Then he moved forward, toward her.  She fought the instinct to move.  This was where she would make her stand.  Backed up against the open wormhole with one foot on her Dead Man Switch.  It was the most secure position from which to make a very insecure gambit.

 

He closed the distance between them quickly.  Much too quickly, and she felt the gnawing of uncertainty.  Those eyes never left hers, even as he seemed to skim across the uneven ground with unconcerned ease. 

 

"We have always understood one another, Colonel."  With care, she shifted to a slightly more relaxed stance.  To demonstrate trust in him.  And hope for it in return.  "That is why I told them that I would be safe." 

 

He was close enough now that she could easily see his face.  The dark, almost scaly skin that disappeared up in his hairline and crept down into his collar. 

 

"I would appreciate that you do not make me a liar."

 

He slowed as he got nearer, but only stopped when he was so close that she could feel his hot breath on her face.   His stomach pressed up against hers, and one hand reached out to touch the loose hair around her neck.  Her left foot absently played with the Dead Man Switch.

 

She pulled back ever-so-slightly, asserting control.  "You are among friends."  Pressing her left hand against his chest, she pushed him firmly away a few centimeters.  He stared down at the hand for a moment, then allowed his upper body to be moved backward a hands-breadth.  "I wanted you to understand that."

 

Sheppard's eyes rose back up to hers.  He wore the slightest of smiles.  A thin-lipped upturn of one corner of his mouth.  Not the mischievous smirk she was used to, or even the flirtatious grin he'd worn so recently in the gym.  This was a dark satisfaction.  Amusement.  Anticipation.  She took a calming breath through her nose, suddenly feeling very alone. 

 

"It is time to go home," was all she said aloud.

 

The hint of smile faded, and he looked toward the wormhole towering behind her.  The hand that had been hovering somewhere near her neck reached out to gently trace the light blue waves.  He opened his hand so that his palm lay flat against the leading edge of the energy barrier.  There was a sad curiosity in his movements, the way a person looks through the belongings of someone long dead.  The reliving of another life, its broad strokes still sharp in memory but the fine details lost. 

 

"It is not gone, you know."

 

He didn't look at her when she spoke this time, but there was a sudden grip on her upper arm.  Startled, she bit back a gasp.  For a moment, she felt what she had felt in the gym.  The insecurity of knowing that she could no longer count on being able to take him in close combat.  Seconds passed, and the pain and surprise died down. 

 

"It is all just on the other side."  Carefully she tested the idea of stepping slightly backward, toward the wormhole.  If she could just bring him with her... But no, he was a solid weight.  Completely unmovable.  "You're so close."

 

Something moved in the bushes, behind the Stargate.  Teyla looked, but the wormhole radiated too much light to see anything.  When she turned back, all she could see were his eyes.  Too close.  And then he was kissing her, his mouth searching.  There was hunger.  And need.  And blood in her mouth. 

 

Something crept across the side of her hip, tracing the tiny space where her pants ended to expose her stomach beneath the jacket.  It hunted for the edge of her shirt.  Shifting fabric tickled her skin, and then something solid brushed against it.  Something sharp and....

 

... and bony.

 

Long, bony fingers. That skeletal hand, skin like animal hide stretched thinly over protruding bone.  Claws.  A Wraith hand.

 

Disgusted, she recoiled as the hand slid along her belly.  His body, pressed tightly against hers from toe to mouth, moved with her.  Unable to get away from it, she took a great breath through her nose instead.  Calm.  She needed to remain calm.  She needed to focus on something else.  Something more useful. 

 

Like the fact that she had moved him. 

 

Her free hand slid down to his waist.  She wrapped it around the curve of his body and pulled him even closer.  She ignored his body's eager response.  At the same time, she pivoted them both slowly.  A quarter of the way, then all the way around.  She was facing the Stargate now, his back to it.  The wavering pool of light silhouetted him and blocked everything beyond.  But she didn't need to see anything.  With a gentle but firm motion, she stepped tentatively forward.  He moved with her.  Two more slow steps and she pressed both of them together into the Stargate.

 

There was familiar paralysis.  Motionless motion--

 

Everything returned.  She inhaled automatically, inertia carrying her several paces out from the Gate.  Sheppard pulled back, his strange eyes capturing hers as his breath fluttered the hair hanging in her eyes.  There was accusation in his face.  Betrayal.  With a single burst of motion, he disappeared from her line of sight.  The hand still gripped her arm, but he was behind her now. 

 

Guns cocked.

 

Now that he had moved, she could see the Gate Room.  Perhaps ten or twelve soldiers surrounded them from all angles, weapons held ready.  Teyla recognized none of them.  Doctor Weir and Colonel Caldwell stood behind them, along with several of Doctor Beckett's people with medical equipment.  Behind Teyla, the Stargate was still active.  It suddenly occurred to her that Sheppard might accidentally re-enter the wormhole in an attempt to escape.  If he did, he would drag her in with him.  That was certainly not the way she wanted to meet the Ancestors...

 

"Teyla, are you all right?"  Doctor Weir called out from behind the men with the guns.

 

"I am fine!"  She shifted under Sheppard's still-painful grip.  He stood partially behind her, using her as a shield.  "We are both fine, Doctor Weir."

 

“Rodney?”  Doctor Weir turned toward the control room, although Teyla could see no one visible at their posts.  “Shut it down!”

 

Behind Teyla, the Stargate suddenly cut off.  She felt the rush of relief at being home, safely.  For the most part…

 

Colonel Caldwell gave a sharp signal with one hand, and two men stepped forward from the rest.  They moved toward her silently, evenly, weapons never leaving their target.  A frontal assault would never work; they must know this.  Behind her, Sheppard stiffened.  She both saw and felt him quickly assessing the possible escape routes. 

 

There was a shuffle of feet and fabric beside her, bodies in motion.  Someone was flanking them.  Coming in fast from behind or beside the Stargate, she could not see.  Sheppard, however, did see.  A body went flying past her.  A syringe rolled across the floor, and so did Doctor Beckett. 

 

The surrounding circle of soldiers closed tighter. 

 

There was a single footstep behind her, then a soft thud.  Sheppard made an odd noise, the first sound she had heard from him in almost a day.  His grip released suddenly and he collapsed.  Teyla scrambled to catch him as he pitched forward to the deck.  Another hand grabbed him by the shoulder to break the fall.  Ronon.  She hadn't seen him at all. 

 

The instant Sheppard was on the ground, the soldiers rushed forward to cover him.  Not that there was any need.  He was quite unconscious.  To her left, a soldier was helping Doctor Beckett off the ground.  He retrieved his syringe, speaking fast, thickly-accented medical directives to his people.  Teyla stepped away from the colonel as Beckett moved in. 

 

"You all right?"  Ronon's deep voice. 

 

Standing between her and the ring of the Stargate behind, he was watching the doctors descend upon the colonel.   He had his weapon out but was holding it backward, by the barrel.  She realized now what the thud had been.  The sound of the butt of a gun hitting the back of a mutating human head so as to render unconsciousness.

 

"You were waiting for us.  Behind the Stargate.”

 

He flipped his gun around and slid it back in place.  "I thought your faith,” he produced her handgun -- still wrapped in its package -- in his other hand, “could use a little help from my instinct." 

 

She smiled, catching his eye.  "Thank you." 

 

"You're welcome."

 

She accepted the gun back.  "You did not get to shoot him again."

 

He shrugged.  "Guess not.  This was more satisfying anyway."

 

Doctor Weir was close behind the medical personnel.  As she approached, she had one watchful eye on the colonel and the other obviously assessing Teyla's general well-being. 

 

"I am fine, Doctor Weir," she answered before being asked again.

 

"Yes, I hope so."  With one more uneasy look in Sheppard's direction, she turned her attention to Teyla.  "That was a risky thing you did," she chided.  "Not to mention turning off your radio.  That was the only way we had to monitor your safety."

 

Teyla shrugged.  "It seemed appropriate at the time."  But Weir's frown didn't lessen.  So again Teyla employed a little diversion.  "Very much like the fact that you cleared this area of all unnecessary Atlantis personnel."

 

Weir glanced up to the control room, which was now clearly unmanned as McKay was hurrying down the stairs toward them.  Below it, the Gate Room itself was also empty of the bystanders that usually found their way here in the course of their jobs.  Weir looked back at Teyla, with perhaps a hint of embarrassment.  "Yes, well, it seemed appropriate at the time." 

 

Teyla  shared with her a smile of unspoken understanding, knowing that the subject would be dropped.  On both sides of the Stargate, they had reached the same conclusion.  That a little discretion for a friend in need was worth a little risk.  And with some luck, the man at the center of such attention would never know about any of it. 

 

"And you, Rodney," Teyla changed the subject as the final member of her team approached, "could have mentioned Ronon’s backup plan."

 

He stopped to look over at the colonel.  “Hey, don’t blame me.  The guy with the big gun had all the say-so."

 

Over folded arms, Ronon looked pleased with himself.   

 

"Well," Doctor Weir followed Teyla's lead, "I can't say that I agree with how you accomplished this mission, but I'm sure that Colonel Sheppard will be grateful to his team."

 

"Assuming we got him back in time," McKay added.

 

"I am certain," Teyla countered, "that if it can be done, Doctor Beckett will be able to do it."

 

Doctor Weir put on a deliberate smile.  "Of course he will.  To the infirmary, then?"

 

Teyla let them get ahead of her.  She stopped to unzip her vest, glad to be free of the constriction.  The outline of his grip on her arm had begun to throb hotly, and the phantom sensation of bony fingers on her skin still tingled.  She swallowed the metallic taste of blood.  Hers, or his....?

 

"That was a hell of a chance you took."

 

Colonel Caldwell had approached from behind.  He took her gun from her, freeing both her hands to slip off the vest and jacket.

 

"It was necessary."  She nodded pointedly at his armed soldiers still standing defensively around the control room staircase.  "I could not abandon him to your men."

 

"My responsibility is to protect this base at all costs."

 

"The people here are this base, Colonel Caldwell."  She took the gun back from him.  "The city of the Ancestors stood at the bottom of this sea for ten thousand years until they risked everything to find it.  Not you or I -- but Doctor Weir, Colonel Sheppard, Doctor McKay, and those who chose to come with them.  Without their leap of faith, this great city offered no hope for anyone.  So I do not believe it is too much to suggest that we show a little faith in them."

 

"Faith doesn't keep the enemy away."

 

She shook her head.  "It keeps many enemies away.  Especially the enemies that do not carry something so simple as a gun." 

 

He smiled.  "Well, you won't mind if I concentrate on the ones that do."

 

She clapped the back of his shoulder briefly as they passed through the exit of the Gate Room.  "On the contrary, I appreciate it very much."

 

"For what it's worth," he acknowledged another soldier standing guard outside, "I do hope that Colonel Sheppard recovers.  While I may not agree with him often, he does seem to have a knack for inspiring commitment in those around him." 

 

"In my experience, there is no 'knack' to it.  A leader receives in return what he or she is willing to give."

 

He nodded.  "There's a maxim on Earth.  That a good leader wouldn't ask his men to do what he's not willing to do himself."

 

Teyla stopped as they entered the wider main hallway.  Milling around in the corridor was a loose group of waiting people.  A large contingent of Sheppard's military personnel, with a few of the scientists strewn in among them.  Standing slightly away from the others, a scattering of Athosians over from the mainland.  Several of the children that had become quite taken with the colonel in the last year.  Word had certainly traveled fast.  Seeing her, Major Lorne broke from the others to head in her direction.

 

"But you see, Colonel Caldwell, the difference," Teyla directed his attention to the small crowd gathered, "is that John Sheppard would never have to ask."

 

~~~~~~finis~~~~~

 

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