Shacking Up, 15
By
EntreNous

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Chapter Twenty-Three: "Different Taste Combinations"

"So what brings you over to Chez Harris?" Xander asked. "Is it the snacks? The laugh-a-minute atmosphere? The desire to hunt down more vampires with my wacky friends?"

"Um, all of the above?" Nathan replied. His eyebrows twitched a little with good humor.

Xander waved him over to the couch, and went to get food. "Glad you went with us the other night," he observed from the kitchenette.

"You hang with an interesting group of people," Nathan said. "That Buffy -- she's something else."

"Isn't she just?" Xander agreed. He gestured to the piles of food he brought over to the couch. "We have Coke, we have Ho-Hos, we have salty salty chips. Good?"

"Good," Nathan responded. They sat on the couch together and munched in silence for a moment.

"So," Xander said heartily. Then he dropped his eyes and said hesitantly, "Uh, thanks for the book you gave me."

Nathan nodded, prying apart a Ho-Ho with ease and sticking his tongue into the filling. "Glad you liked. It's a good one."

"Right," Xander said, sighed. Why didn't anyone else have to deal with the kind of stuff he was forced to . . . Then he did a double-take.

"You think it's good?" Xander asked. "I mean, you'd recommend it. Based on your own reading experience, huh? If someone wanted to know if they should check it out, would you say that you'd give it the thumbs up based on your own personal opinion of it? Like, say -- "

"Yes," Nathan said.

"Yes to which?" Xander asked.

"Yes, I'm bi. That's what you're asking."

"Ah!" Xander offered, nodding vigorously. "Yes indeedy. Makes sense. Since you, uh, grabbed that book so quick like you'd read it and . . . I'm sorry, this is really . . . I'm not really taking-in-stride guy, here, am I?"

"That's cool," Nathan answered. "You're doing fine."

Xander stuffed a handful of chips into his mouth so that he'd shut up.

"So," Nathan began. "Do Oz and Willow date other people?"

Little pieces of chips flew out of Xander's mouth as he choked.

"Um." Xander cleared his throat and tried again. "Uh, they're kinda together, you know, so not so much with the seeing of others on the romantic level. You like . . . Oz? What with the bi, and all . . . Because I kind of thought that Willow liked you. Not that -- I mean, she's with Oz. Just because she likes you, even in a like like way doesn't mean -- they've been together since, well except for that one time, which wasn't my fault at all, and am I answering this right?"

"I think you misunderstood my question," Nathan said with a wry look. "I don't mean do they, individually, date other people. I mean do they date other people. Kind of a two-for, know what I'm saying?"

Xander blinked. Nathan waited patiently for this latest bit of information to sink in.

"Oh, god," Xander said miserably. "And I thought I was all fucked up."

Nathan laughed easily at this. "That's why I like you Xander. You don't hold back. And you're not fucked up. You just . . . like boys."

"Oh, just," Xander said somewhat hysterically. He cracked his knuckles and slumped on the couch. Then he brightened.

"Hey, at least I'm not looking for some kind of threesome -- not that there's anything wrong with that -- but does that make me more normal? Well, except for . . . and that was just a dream thing! And --"

Nathan let Xander babble on a bit, fast-forwarding through the commercials to get to the start of the ~Alias~ episode. By the time he'd reached it and paused the tape, Xander had calmed considerably and was now sipping his Coke thoughtfully.

Nathan cocked his head at Xander in an inquiring glance.

"I was just thinking," Xander said slowly. "I've been kind of wigged, and not talking to anyone about this, but it's kind of cool that you know where I'm coming from. You know?"

"Yeah," Nathan nodded.

"And I don't think you're all fucked up," Xander added hastily.

"Good to know," Nathan responded. "Because I sure don't."

***

Over the next week, Buffy thought and thought about Xander and Spike, but she wasn't sure how to take the next step to protect Xander's feelings.

She had dragged Spike on patrol with her for a few nights, but that turned up nothing. If Spike had any crafty, humiliating plans for her friend, she couldn't figure them out.

Then she showed up at Xander's twice with movies and Chunky Monkey, but Davy being there both times had killed any attempts at emotional sleuth-age. Buffy wished she could ask him to take off so that she could get Xander on his own. But Davy seemed like he wanted to stay where Xander was these days, so no dice asking Xander straight up if he liked Spike in a boyfriend-y way.

Just thinking about Spike and Xander didn't seem to yield any answers, though she did have several odd, stirring visions of Xander macking on Spike against the wall of the Bronze.

But what she thought about in her Western Ethics class was her own business.

Well, if the boys wouldn't yield any clues to her, maybe they'd spoken to someone else that she could press for details.

An afternoon with Clem at the crypt provided nothing more than an enthusiastic endorsement of The Gnarly Kelps, the half-human, half-demon brother-sister rock duo playing at Dale's Demon Den. When she brought up the topic of Spike and Xander, he kept leaping up to get her another beverage. After four cans of Sierra Mist and two cranapple boxes, Buffy had given up and gone home to pee.

So it was down to Xander's friends. If Xander wasn't talking to her about Spike, well, that left one other possibility. Willow.

She decided to bring it up in a casual way -- get a feel for the situation first, and then try to find out what Willow knew Xander-wise these days.

"You know, there was a really interesting problem posed in psychology section today," Buffy announced from her perch on her bed. They were both in the room studying, and Buffy had surreptitiously watched Willow over the top of her Writing and Thinking course packet for over an hour before speaking.

Willow looked up from her desk. "Oh, cool -- I wish I was in your section!" She frowned slightly. "My TA keeps asking me if I've taken the class before. I think no one's ever gotten all 105 points on the midterm in past semesters."

Buffy nodded impatiently and continued. "See, we were discussing the complications of emotional attachments, and the TA brought up the problem of broaching the topic of mutual attraction."

"That sounds interesting," Willow said, turning her chair around to face Buffy.

"So it's like, what if one person has interest in another. But that person really shouldn't. Have the interest. Because circumstances being what they are, there's no way it's going to work. Then how do you make that first person see that they shouldn't feel that way? Especially because the second person won't even return those feelings, and it could mess everything up for the first person, and -- "

"I don't want to like Nathan," Willow cried suddenly.

"What? Huh?" Buffy asked in confusion. "I was talking about Xander."

"Xander has a crush on Nathan?" Willow asked in a more strained tone.

"No, no -- don't be ridiculous." Buffy felt panicked, and tried to make everything better. "Who said anything about Nathan? Xander has a crush on Spike."

"Xander has a crush on Spike?" Willow shrieked.

They both sat, stunned, and stared at each other for a moment.

"Wow, this really didn't go like I thought it would," Buffy frowned.

"Um, I'm not sure I want to know how it was supposed to go," Willow said softly. She moved from the desk and sat on her bed to face Buffy.

"So . . . " Buffy observed.

"Yeah," Willow said unhappily.

"You and Nathan?" Buffy asked.

"No me and Nathan," Willow corrected. "Just me and Nathan."

"But it could be. You. And Nathan. If you want. Couldn't it?"

"There's Oz," Willow said quietly.

"There sure is," Buffy affirmed. She cleared her throat. "But Will, it's not . . . you're not . . . Oz is your first boyfriend. Maybe . . . "

"What?" Willow asked.

"Maybe you want to date other people. Do you want to try dating Nathan?" Buffy asked slowly.

"He's nice, you know. And kind of cool. In a dorky way, but cute. Like he doesn't care about stuff. He's really smart, and funny, and we have a lot to talk about, and his eyes are kind of pretty, and he has good shoulders, and . . . and I really shouldn't be thinking about other guys," Willow concluded.

"You're not a nun or something," Buffy said kindly. "It's not weird that you find another guy attractive. Just -- do you want to see other guys? Or do you want to be with Oz?"

"That's the bad part," Willow said with wide eyes. "I kind of . . . kind of want them both."

Buffy raised her eyebrows.

"I'm a horrible, horrible girlfriend!" Willow wailed. She flopped down on the bed sideways.

"Willow, you haven't done anything that makes you bad. You just feel things. That's okay."

"Yeah, but I even felt . . . wait a minute." Willow sat up.

"Yeah?"

"Xander likes Spike?" Willow blinked.

"Maybe," Buffy said nervously. She'd sort of hoped that had fallen by the wayside. One major issue seemed like enough to deal with in a night.

"God, am I that repulsive?" Willow asked. She curled up into a ball on the bed and snuffled.

Buffy handed her Mr. Gordo silently and waited a moment.

"Willow, maybe I'm not following here, but what does Xander have to do with any of this? And why would you say that about yourself just because he might like Spike?" she inquired.

"It's just . . . Xander likes people he's supposed to hate, and he never liked me? What's wrong with me?"

"Willow, you don't want to date Xander too, do you?" Buffy asked. "Because I mean, I can be flexible and understanding about you dating two guys, but . . . three guys? C'mon Will. I mean, you're only human. How will you keep track?"

Willow looked confused. Then she started giggling and pulled out of her self-pity posture.

"No, no," Willow said hastily. "It's just funny, you know? Xander. . . I don't like him that way anymore, but I feel a little . . ."

"Proprietary?" Buffy smiled.

"Yeah," Willow said shamefacedly. Then she rolled her eyes. "Listen to me. I mean, I didn't have a date for years, and now I expect all the boys at my feet." She looked at Buffy expectantly.

Buffy nodded seriously, but her mouth twitched.

Willow scrunched up her face at her for a moment, then grinned. "All the men in Sunnydale must be mine. Mine, I tell you!!" She waved her arms around wildly.

"That sounds fair . . . not," Buffy giggled. "Hey, save me some of your cast offs, ‘kay?"

"Will do!" Willow replied, bouncing on her bed a little. But her face fell as something else occurred to her. "Buffy, do you think I should . . . talk to Oz about this?"

"Um . . . " Buffy stalled. "Well . . . "

"What if I hurt him? What if I talk to Nathan and he doesn't even like me -- I'll feel so lousy! They could both end up hating me! What if I just end up upsetting everyone?"

"People might get hurt," Buffy agreed. "But maybe you just have to take that risk. Isn't it worth finding out what you want -- what's right for you? If we never did anything because we worried only about getting hurt, we'd never try to have relationships. Would it be worth it, being lonely because of fear?"

"Can't I date Nathan a few times to see how I feel about it, then decide?" Willow asked.

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "We are talking about Oz, right? The all jealous-‘cause-you-kissed-your-best-friend-one-time-guy?"

Willow just groaned and fell sideways on her bed again, clutching Mr. Gordo.

"Think about it for a while," Buffy advised.

"Okay," Willow replied quietly. "Trying to show no fear -- embracing risks. Can't let the worry about being hurt stop me from figuring out what I want."

"Right," Buffy said firmly, then trailed off when she realized what she and Willow were saying.

She turned back to her packet with unseeing eyes, and pushed her hair out of her face thoughtfully. How come she was giving Willow advice that was so totally opposite of what Giles wanted her to persuade Xander?

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