Chapter Twenty-Five: “New and Shiny Living Situation”

****************

“Okay. Willow. Buffy. Giles.”

Pause.

“What? What’s that, then?”

“You’re not going to get huffy about Giles? I thought for sure his name would get a rise out of you. Or, you know, at least a ‘grr’.”

“Look, I’ve no problem with Giles. Not that he’ll make the most thrilling addition to this little shindig you’re planning, but at least he gave his staid, Rule-Britannia blessing to us at long last.”

“Which, good . . . though I’m so so glad that I wasn’t there to witness. Anyway, so there’s no issue with--”

“Now if you were inviting that berk Davy, I’d--”

“Give me a break. Oh sure, invite Davy, and while I’m at it, I could invite his other weird ex-boyfriend roommate-type-guy, Michael, and then we could just cut the tension in the air . . . along with various kinds of cake and pie.”

“Well, well. Other weird ex-boyfriend guy? What would that make you, pet?”

“Nothing! I mean, maybe in his warped mind of saving me from bad-old abusive-y you, he thinks there was something between us, but . . .”

“All the more reason to kill him, slowly and painfully.”

“Did you miss the part where we try to move away from the abusive-y associations? Even if the chip wasn’t an issue, you can’t kill a guy just because he tried to get me drunk and . . . oh right. Look who I’m talking to here.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

There was a significant pause as Xander absorbed this reminder.

“Am I insane that I think this is weirdly adorable? That it’s cute that you’d take out a guy who made a pass at me?”

“Evisceration is in no way adorable.”

“Well, when you put it so colorfully -- alright. Not cute. Oddly hot. But me saying that is strictly off record.”

“Like it though, do you? Don’t you worry about the chip, love. Now that I’m in good with your fluffy friends, maybe Willow could conjure up a bit of chip-free quality time for all of my important torturing needs.”

Spike pursed his lips, sucking in his cheeks slightly. Xander began backing away, but not quickly enough to avoid the pounce and scuffle.

“Don’t say that and pin me down at the same time! This is not supposed to get me hot.”

“Oh, you wicked thing . . .”

“Stop the sexy twisting -- even if the topic of freakish torture was not on the table, we’re supposed to be planning the guest list for the dinner party.”

“What’s to figure out? Your usual gang, yeah; people I want to kill, no.”

“Spike . . . you know that I can’t make notes if you’ve got both my wrists held down. Oh! And what about Clem?”

“Oh right. Mustn’t forget the former roommate who was actually nice. Just the ones we’d enjoy disemboweling.”

“Stop looking so smug. Just because you’re the one who ended up with the good, albeit demonic, roommate, even after all that interviewing crap that Buffy and Willow put me through, it’s no reason to--”

“Don’t forget his bird as well.”

“Not that I can jot that reminder down in this position . . . but Cindy isn’t actually a bird-demon, is she?”

“No, no -- very Clem-like, but female.”

“That sounds . . . oddly, that’s much easier to picture than I’d have guessed. Female Clem.”

“You know, Clem is considered very attractive among his demon clan.”

Another significant pause while Xander’s eyes got very big.

“Please don’t tell me you have a crush on Clem.”

“No! I’m just explaining that his girl is considered a looker for her kind, so no smart remarks about her appearance.”

“Oh, for the love of Pete -- I’m not going to insult Clem’s lady-friend. I’m sure she’s a peach, and she goes on the invite list for sure. Now . . . let me up so that I can go write all this down.”

“Who else is there to add besides Willow’s two cuddle-puppies?”

“I can’t add them so much as make sure to ask them not to come. I almost thought they’d talk it out. I mean, I know that Willow got pretty upset, walking in on Nathan and Oz getting it on. I guess I just thought, hey, unusual combination, but seems like it’ll work itself out. But what with Willow crying for days, Oz in big time band rehearsals, and Nathan pretty much keeping to himself, there hasn’t been a chance to even suggest that to any of them. So Oz and Nathan and Willow together in the same room . . . not exactly a recipe for levity and polite dinner party banter.”

“Yeah, I know all that. But still?”

“Well, yeah . . . these kinds of things don’t work themselves out overnight.”

“And I would in no way realize that, seeing as how you took ever so long to make up your mind about me.”

“I’ll admit I was a little . . . hesitant . . . stop making that face!”

“Fine! Such an easily wounded boy you are . . .”

“Well, you don’t have to look so excited about it.”

“Oh, sure, take all the fun out. And as for the three lovelorn chickens, be best to have ‘em all here for the party.”

“Uh . . . do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“Neutral ground. And, here for another reason, to celebrate us, so it’d be rude to squabble the entire time. And wine and good food always helps --”

“And dessert.”

“And dessert, love -- helps to soften hard feelings.”

“Wow. I’m . . . impressed. You’re good at this.”

“This? The bleeding dinner party?”

“Yeah. That. The stuff with Willow. Waiting for me. All of this. For how long it took me to figure stuff out, for me getting more comfortable with the idea, for . . . everything. How come you’re so good at all this?”

“Because it’s you, pet. I’m good at things when I care, and I care about you.”

“That’s . . . well, I kinda figured, but nice to hear.”

“It’s nice to hear, but it’s nicer to show.”

“Hence the dinner party and the showing of us to everyone else.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Let me just call Nathan and Oz . . . oh, and Clem and Cindy . . . and was there anything else I forgot to write down? What else, Spike? Oh, maybe . . .”

“I’m not following you down the hall to watch you natter about trying to make more plans. There’s no need for this all to get complicated. Pet? Are you listening to me?”

********

“You’re not listening to me, are you?”

Willow took a deep shaky breath and raised her eyes, meeting Buffy’s steady and sympathetic gaze. “I . . . I heard you.”

“No, Will, you really didn’t. Otherwise I don’t think you would’ve agreed to letting me perm and dye your hair and dress you up in a brown pleather cat-suit.”

Willow cracked a small smile. “What color are we dyeing my hair?”

“I was thinking purple with orange stripes,” Buffy said seriously. “Hey . . . it’s good to see you smile, even if it’s just for a second.”

“Guess I haven’t been so much with the happy lately,” Willow said with a sigh.

“For good reason,” Buffy said softly.

“Yeah, but . . . it’s not like the world is coming to an end. Right?” Willow’s face screwed up tight as she tried to hold back another onslaught of tears.

“Might kind of feel that way . . . but no. Things are rough right now, Will, I get that. But I think you need to get back in the swing.”

Willow looked about ready to protest, and Buffy held up one hand.

“Not that I expect you to go singing and skipping around campus right away.”

“That’s good, because I’m not in a very tra-la-la mood,” Willow said mournfully.

“Okay. No tra-la-ing. But going to class again would be good. And going to the dinner party that Spike and Xander are planning would be a fun night out away from the land of damp tissues and sad 80’s movies.”

“But I really wanted to see *Terms of Endearment* again,” Willow argued. At Buffy’s skeptical look, she tried again. “*The Color Purple*?”

“Let me think . . . um, no.”

“But . . . okay, I’m happy for Spike and Xander, but why do I have to . . . but you know, I’m really not! I’m not happy for them. I’m going through something tough, and why should I have to root on their new and shiny living situation? I don’t want to go over there and watch them be all ‘ooh, you’re so scary’ and ‘oooh, you’re so goofy’ and slobber all over each other!”

“Well, when you put it that way . . . Seriously, it’s not just them. It’s me, and you, and Giles, and lots and lots of food which Xander has assured me is coming from take-out places, so you know that it will be actually yummy. Please, Will? It’ll be fun . . . and if it’s not fun, it’ll be something resembling fun, and that’s better than the scene you’ve got going on over there.” Buffy gestured to Willow’s bed, piled high with used tissues, a ratty afghan, Mr. Gordo and assorted other stuffed animals, and a red-eyed straggly-haired Willow sitting amidst it all in the same pajamas that she’d been wearing for three days straight.

“When is it?” Willow asked warily.

“Tonight. Which gives you plenty of time to shower and change and get into that cat-suit!”

Buffy flounced out of the room in her terry cloth robe to head to the showers herself.

Willow sat up on the bed and with a determined set to her chin, got to her feet. Then she faltered.

“Buffy . . . you didn’t really mean it about that cat-suit . . . Buffy?”

***********

“I don’t know,” Oz said into the phone. “Yeah, we’ll see. Okay. Bye.”

“What was that all about?” Devon asked from his pose on Oz’s bed with his legs up against the wall.

“Dinner thing at Spike and Xander’s. Willow’ll be there. Nathan might be.”

“Oh man, then you have to go!”

“I don’t think I do,” Oz said, frowning.

Devon dropped his legs to the mattress and turned over onto his stomach to look at Oz slumped up against the headboard. “Why the hell not?”

“I just . . . she needs some space.”

“Three of you get any more space and you’ll be at opposite points of the compass,” Devon remarked.

“Maybe.”

“Besides . . . you’re just going to give up all of that sex?”

Oz looked at Devon sharply. “You know, wacky as this might sound, it wasn’t just all about the sex.”

Devon regarded him, chin propped in his palm. “So they know that, right?”

“Know what?”

Devon waved a hand around impatiently. “They know that it wasn’t just about the sex . . . with just one of them, with both of them . . . that you got together, you and Willow, with Nathan because you dug him, and you stayed together for how long you did because it worked, the three of you together, and not just the fucking. It was like a really good combo.”

“Yeah. Yeah, they know that.”

Devon pulled himself up into a cross-legged position and gave Oz a hard shove to the shoulder.

Oz remained in the sideways position he’d landed in, and looked up at Devon. “Okay. And that followed perfectly from the conversation.”

“You’re a moron,” Devon said bluntly.

Oz just looked away.

“Why did it break up? You and Nathan having sex without Willow. What was the weird? Who was fucking who when the other one wasn’t there. Jesus, Oz, they do think it’s about sex. Nathan probably thinks that to you he was an experiment fuck to see how you like guys and how much it turned Willow on, and now that your girlfriend wigged you’re back with her. I bet Willow freaked because she isn’t a guy, and ain’t nothing going to change that if that’s what you like better. And seeing you with someone with different equipment, without her, makes her think, well hell, do I even fit in this picture? Meanwhile, you’re letting the bookings and rehearsals distract you from dealing.”

Oz took a breath but Devon kept going.

“Hey, don’t think I don’t like having you around more. It’s cool that you have time to rehearse. But not like this, man, when you’re so wrung out you can’t get it together. You like Nathan and Willow both, and you like them together, not just because they’re giving it up for you, but because you’re all good for each other. But fine, don’t tell them that if you think they already know. Because I don’t see anyone getting the light dawning on them with all the not-knowing and not-understanding going on around here. You don’t want to talk to them, fine. But you’re going to lose them both. And then you’ll be well and truly screwed.”

Oz nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Devon asked, still worked up.

“Okay,” Oz said simply. “I’ll go.”