A short time ago in a galaxy right here…
WAR OF CHAOS II!!!
Episode Six: Attack of the Killer Birds
Bill Gates swung furiously at the vultures that were flying around in Woodlands. The vultures swooped in on his as if he were dead. " Jibran! Remove these stupid birds! They’re hurting my head! OW!!! Don’t you dare peck at me again young man!"
" Oh, sorry." Nurdin said.
Jibran walked into the cafeteria at that time. " Oh, hello Nurdin, how are you?"
Nurdin showed much determination and guts when he looked Jibran straight in the eyes and said, " These birds have moved in on my territory. You know what this means Jibran!"
Jibran shook his head in an evil sort of way and sarcastically said, " Oh, nooo, I have no idea what this means!"
Nurdin started flapping his wings and flew up in the air, " Well then…now you will see…FLY MY BIRDS!!! FLY!!!" At that moment, thousands of tiny birds smashed through the windows of the cafeteria and started to swarm at the confused vultures. Jibran had not expected that (because he was blind and didn’t see the army of birds as he walked into the school), Jibran had expected something to fall on Nurdin, but nothing had thus far…blast.
Jonathan, Adit, Chrissy, Michelle, Rama, Roddy, and Aaron stared in bewilderment at the bird fight that had started overhead. Sensing something bad was to come out of this, Rama stood up and yelled, " You damned birds better not get any crap on my lunch!" At that moment, Rama’s lunch (along with Rama himself) was bombarded by bird droppings. He sighed and said, " Normally, I would be mad, but I have too much on my mind right now." Adit could see the load of bird poop on Rama’s mind and nodded. Rama walked out of the caf heading for the nearest waste depositor (bathroom).
As the bird fight took place overhead, Roddy realized something, " Speaking of birds, have any of you ever seen Nurdin this angry?"
Everyone shook their heads, looked up and saw a furiously flapping and pecking Nurdin pecking furiously at the Vultures in the school. Adit said, " And has anyone noticed the imbalance of power here? There is something fishy going on here." At that moment a lunch lady person popped out of nowhere and said,
" No, fishsticks were yesterday! Too late for you!" And with that, the lunch lady crashed through the already broken window and ran away into the horizon.
" That was most odd." Jon said. Everyone agreed and turned to see Bill Gates and Britney Spears trying to shoo the birds out of the caf.
" Get away you stupid birds!" Gates yelled swinging his arm about. Jibran stood in the dark corner of the caf staring with glee (oooh, never seen that word in War of Chaos before…OOOH!!!) at the bird fight that Nurdin was loosing.
" Jibran, get these birds out of the caf, NOW!" Britney yelled in a commanding voice.
Jibran shook his head, " No one tells me what to do…you forget, I ate GOD TO GO!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!" Energy crackled from Jibran’s hands as he spoke. Spears and Gates shook their heads and started throwing bird seeds outside to get all the birds outside. With all of the birds flying outside and fighting there, Spears and Gates confronted Jibran.
" Listen Jibran, we lent you our resources so we expect to be treated fairly!" Gates said angrily, " I used up my last penny on compressing all the fruit to go for you into one single bar…I gave you god to go! So treat me with respect…now if you will excuse me, I have to become a squeegee guy and charge people 50 dollars per window wash in order to make a living…pardon me." Gates took out his squeegee and headed for the door.
Jibran stared at Britney Spears. " My dear, why don’t you go and help him, I want to watch the chaos that has taken place in the caf."
Britney looked around in confusion, " Uh, the birds are outside now." Jibran, looking a bit shocked, nodded signaling that indeed he had become slightly blinded. Ignoring the grunt from Spears, Jibran walked onto the stage and a microphone appeared.
" Testing, one two…ah there we go." Jibran said. Everyone in the caf spun around to see what Jibran was saying.
Everyone in the caf (with the exception of Jonathan, Adit, Chrissy, Michelle, Rama, Roddy, and Aaron) were wearing Prefect cloaks. There were some who were wearing SAC cloaks as well. They all rose both their arms in salute.
" HEIL JIBRAN!" They all yelled in the same monochromatic voice. Jibran was pleased with himself and said, " My dear friends, today is the first day of the rest of my life…today is the day that-" As Jibran spoke, Jon and the others conversed.
" Why is HE on stage?" Roddy asked with disgust.
" The real question is, why ISNT he on the stage…" Rama said (he had come back from the bathroom and was covered in toilet paper…apparently the toilet paper had come to life and started attacking him.
" But, Jibby is on stage, so that doesn’t work." Chrissy said.
Jon rubbed his chin, " Ah yes, I see… well, what is he doing on stage?"
" I believe the real question is, what ISNT he doing?" Adit pointed out. At that moment, everyone shrugged for an unknown (and unwanted) reason when Rama said,
" Well, he IS dancing on stage."
Everyone spun their heads to see that Jibran was in fact doing a form of can can on the stage, and failing miserably. Britney Spears sighed at the pitiful undancy ways of Jibran and headed for the door.
" Is it me or is something missing here?" Adit suddenly said.
" Well, normally there would be something very odd happening." Michelle said. Everyone looked outside and looked at Nurdin who was fighting to the death against the army of Vultures. " I meant something ODD happening!" Michelle said again.
" OOH!!" Everyone said understanding what Michelle went. It was true, something was missing. But none of them could remember what it was…
Sina rammed his head on the door of the ferris wheel. " KRUSTY WANT OUT!!!" He yelled in a fit of frenzy. " LET ME OUT NOW!!!" He turned to look inside the ferris wheel and saw that he was surrounded by people in white jackets. He recognized one of them as Ms. MacFarlane.
" Hello Sina, I didn’t expect you here, but now that you are here, let me teach you about Nomenclature…there done and done." Completely horrified at the lack of knowledge and ability Ms. MacFarlane possessed, Sina started to scream and ram himself against the tight door.
"LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF!!!"
The Ferris wheel continued to its destination shaking slightly due to the running Sina in the back…
Nurdin flapped harder and harder pecking with every one beak he had, " BACK YOU VULTURES!!! BACK!!!" Starting to make crazy bird noises, Nurdin hoped to frighten away the vultures…but it failed. Instead, it made the vultures peck at him harder and harder. " WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS???" Nurdin yelled. The Vultures stopped pecking at him and started rubbing their chins.
One Vulture put on some glasses and in a british accent said, " Well Mr. Nurdin, there is nothing that we hold against you personally, I mean you have done no wrong. However, this is a bird kind of thing if you do catch my drift…"
" Uh, yeah, I catch your drift." Nurdin caught the drift and held it out to show the Vultures, " There we go…I get it. It’s a territorial thing!"
The Vultures nodded with glee (THERE IT IS AGAIN!!!). " Yes Nurdin ol chap, you got it! A territorial thing!"
" Yeah! Like how the dogs pee to mark their territory." At that moment, the joyful vultures stopped laughing and stared at Nurdin with fire in their eyes. Nurdin had only one second to say, " oh no…" before the vultures started to attack him again.
" Something is missing…but what?" Rama asked.
No matter how hard they all tried, none of them could figure out what the hell was missing. All they could do was watch Jibran do his pitiful dancing thingy as his minions cheered him on.
" I wonder why we arent cheering for him." Roddy asked.
" Maybe because we use tide, not cheer!" Adit pointed out.
" I use Ivory!" Rama said. Everyone turned to Rama,
" Uh, isnt that a soap?" Adit asked.
" Damn right!" Rama said standing up. Everyone nodded in agreement. Rama was right. But something was still missing. Jon got up and said,
" I am going to go to comp sci to get my Turing thingy done…" With that, he waved goodbye to everyone else and went to his 1st class period class.
Arriving at the class, he could see that all the computers were flickering. Sitting down at his computer, he typed in his login and password. A face came on the screen and started screaming,
" JON!!! Its starting all over again!"
Jon stared at the figure with confusion, " And who are you?"
Max man stared with disbelief at what he had just heard, " I AM MAX MAN!!! HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME??? BAAAAH!!!" A piece of wood fell on Max Man’s head. A bruised Max Man came out from the ruble and Jon could see that behind Max Man rows of numbers and letters were flashing by in complete disarray.
" Hey! It’s the matrix! Or rather, a screwed up version…" Jon said squinting to get a better look.
" Cad Man has started it all over again! The cyber world is in complete and utter chaotic order! I cant stop it! Jon, think clearly! Remember who you really are."
Jon closed his eyes and memories flooded his mind. " Done and done." He said. Max Man stared at Jon in disbelief,
" BAAAAH!!! NO!!! NOT LIKE THAT!!! ANY FOOL CAN LOOK UP ON THEIR LIFE!!! ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS DO SOMETHING CLOSE TO DYING AND THEY WILL SEE THEIR WHOLE LIFE FLASH BEFORE THEIR EYES! You woke up this morning…don’t you remember tossing Jibran aside to help Sina?"
" Sin of A? I know that, but there is inadequate info for me to tell you who or what Sin of A is…" Jon said.
Max Man shook his head, " Let me tell you this once again…SINA!!! NOT SIN OF A! THIS ISNT MATH CLASS! THIS IS SERIOUS!!!"
Jon looked around and shook his head, " On the contrary, this is actually Comp Sci and not serious."
Max Man turned red with anger, " Don’t toy with me now Jon! Don’t you remember WAR OF CHAOS 1??? DON’T YOU REMEMBER THE BATTLE AGAINST BILL GATES AND BRITNEY SPEARS AND CAD MAN???"
" What, you mean the squeegee kid downstairs?" Jon asked.
Max Man sighed, " No! Wait a minute…gimme a second." Max Man disappeared and zoomed down his consciousness to see what was downstairs. He saw Bill Gates washing the caf door window using a squeegee. " Well ill be damned…" He flew upstairs again and back onto the screen. " YES!!! HIM!!! Don’t you remember the battle that took place between you two?"
Jon shook his head, " Nope…" Max Man sighed and said,
" Listen, reader, this may take a while, I have to refresh Jon’s memory…So while he is reading War of Chaos 1, you readers proceed to what is going on downstairs at this moment…GO NOW!!!"
::insert War of Chaos 1::
::insert <your name here> walking downstairs to see what was happening::
Adit stood with amazement, " Wow! Look at Nurdin go!"
Nurdin flew by the window: " AHHHHH!!!" And vanished on the other side. Then flying back the same direction, Nurdin screamed, " AHHHHH!!!" again everyone watched with amazement (not glee…hehehe!). The army of vultures was attacking Nurdin following him everywhere he went. It was very entertaining.
" Someone change the channel! I’m getting bored of watching Nurdin get chased by a flock of visious birds…"
::insert channel change::
As Sina was dragged away to the Nut House for the Insanely Interesting, and as Bill Gates washed a window squeaky clean, and as Britney Spears walked to the door, and as Jon started reading War of Chaos 1 all over again, as all of this was happening, Jibran’s master plan was unraveling.
" Soon, all will be mine!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHA!!!" Jibran’s new found god like abilities crackled through him and he felt invincible. He closed his eyes to see how his rival Sina was doing…
"LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF LET ME OFF…"