To be Canadian...
>> >
>> >1. Only in Canada......can a pizza get to your house faster than an
>>ambulance.
>> >
>> >2. Only in Canada......are there handicap parking places in front of a
>>skating rink.
>> >
>> >3. Only in Canada......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to
>>the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
>>buy cigarettes at the front.
>> >
>> >4. Only in Canada.....do people order double cheese burgers, large
>>fries, and a diet coke.
>> >
>> >5. Only in Canada......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the
>>pens to the counters.
>> >
>> >6. Only in Canada......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in
>>the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
>> >
>> >7. Only in Canada......do we use answering machines to screen calls and
>>then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want
>>to talk to in the first place.
>> >
>> >8. Only in Canada......do we buy hot dogs in packages of twelve and buns
>>in packages of eight.
>> >
>> >9. Only in Canada.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the
>>process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning
>>'bloodsucking creatures'.
>> >
>> >10. Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille
>>lettering.
>> >
>> >You know you're from Canada when ...
>> >
>> >1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
>> >
>> >2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
>> >
>> >3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
>> >
>> >4. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
>> >
>> >5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
>> >
>> >6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at
>>Christmas.
>>
>> >7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter
>>above the ground.
>> >
>> >8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
>> >
>> >9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in
>>with snow.
>> >
>> >10. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with
>>only 8 buttons.
>> >
>> >11. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
>> >
>> >12. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2
>>pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
>> >
>> >13. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing
>>plant.
>> >
>> >14. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
>> >
>> >15. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
>> >
>> >16. You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
>> >
>> >17. You head south to go to your cottage.
>> >
>> >18. You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't
>>prowl on your deck.
>> >
>> >19. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
>> >
>> >20. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's sausage making.
>> >
>> >21. You find -40C a little chilly.
>> >
>> >22. The trunk of your car doubles as a deepfreeze.
>> >
>> >23. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry
>>and your Sorels.
>> >
>> >24. You can play road hockey on skates.
>> >
>> >25. You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and
>>Construction.
>> >
>> >26. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
>> >
>> >27. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
>> >
>> >28. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".
>> >
>> >29. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian
>>friends