A short time in a galaxy right here…
War Of Chaos!!! Episode 13: The Countdown to CHAOS!!! THE CORRUPTION THAT KILLED US ALL!
::insert Star Wars Music::
Last time when we joined the rebels, they were loosing in a large war against their clones. With the last of the rebels remaining, Bill Gates is killed by his clone, which takes over. While the last rebels fight, they are easily overpowered by their clones, and killed, until only one rebel remained. Sina remained. But Gates had plans for him. They strapped him down and forced him to watch the Microsoft Stock Market rising, 5 Britney Spears Music Videos and a " Dismantling 3d Studio into Auto CAD" course starring Cad Man. The last rebel could not handle that, and was tortured to death. With the last rebel gone, Gates also confines Cad Man and Britney Spears to prevent then from over throwing him. His converted clones all use windows, and not a trace of the old rebels' remains. And a powerful and corrupt Gates stares out the window with victory in his eyes. Or perhaps he could sense that soon, something would arise, and he could do nothing about it…
::to the tune of what Kerrigan says at the end of StarCraft: Broodwars:: Gates stood in his throne thinking to himself… " Once again, I stand atop the broken bodies of my enemies, emperor of finally what was mine from the start. The rebel alliance has fallen, and the remaining rebels destroyed by my clones. As for my unlikely allies (Cad Man, Britney Spears) I will confine them to cells until further notice. I will seek to test their resolves, and strengths. They will all be mine in the end, FOR I AM Microsoft's CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER!!! NONE SHALL EVER DISPUTE MY RULE, AGAIN!!!" Then Gates smiled. " No one has been spared, NO ONE!!! MUAAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!"
In a house, Sina, Jonathan, Greg, Adit, and Rama were playing with windows to ensure that their systems would function when Y2K hit. " Hmmm, try it again." Greg said. Sina clicked on the start button, changed several settings and clicked on 'Restart'. Then they waited for the computer to reboot with the new settings. " It should work now." Jonathan said. They saw the Windows 98 symbol, and smiled with delight. " Thanks to master Gates, this symbol is now the flag of the Earth!" Adit said. " Yes, thanks to him." Jonathan said. Nurdin came up to see what they were doing. " Whatcha guys doing?" Nurdin asked. " Rebooting the computer again!" Rama said. " Huh? You people don't know how to work with this program." Nurdin said. " Yeah right! As if you could do better!" Jonathan said. " Yes I can!" Nurdin said. He stepped up and waited for the system to reboot. And it did, then he tried some settings and the computer crashed. " SYSTEM FAULT!!! Hmmm, system fault, so it ain't my fault!" Nurdin said. " See, you can't do it without it crashing. Master Gates says that every time it crashed we have angered him so that's why he crashes it. So we must be careful about what we say or do!" Sina said. " Be careful by tail!" Nurdin said. " Simple solution, ALT CONTROL DELETE!!!" " But you must be careful, you don't want loss of information." Greg said pointing it out. " Ah, loss my mass! It won't do any harm!" Nurdin said. " Careful, you must be!" Adit said. " Do not anger Master Gates and his majestic software!" Nurdin sighed: " This is soooooo much easier with a Macintosh." At that moment, alarms went off, and a red light consumed the area. Nurdin realized his mistake, and ran for the door, but it was too late. A forcefield kept him in. " NONO!!! I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!!" Nurdin pleaded. The sirens continued. Adit, Greg, Sina, Rama and Jonathan ran to a corner out of the way. Then the sirens stopped, and the forcefield opened. " Thank god!" Nurdin said. But that wasn't the case. Bill Gates and two of his henchmen came through the door. " Am I to hear you right?" Gates said rubbing his chin. " Is a Macintosh really better Nurdin?" " I wasn't thinking sir!" Nurdin said. Gates shook his head. " No, you were not you farm animal!" Gates motioned for his men to aim their weapons at him. " Nurdin, you were once my spy for the rebels, and you helped me a lot, which is why I won't kill you." Nurdin smiled with gratitude. " Thank you sir." " Why? I will still place you in a position of pain!" Gates smiled. Nurdin's eyes went wide open. " Hmmm, how are foxes this time of year?" " NO SIR!!! NOT THE FOX KENNEL!!!" Nurdin screamed. The guards grabbed his wings, and dragged him outside. " MWHAHAHAHAH!!!" Gates laughed. " NOOOONOOOOOOO!!!" Nurdin continued screaming. " AHHHHHH!!! THE FOXES!!!! THAT'S TORTURE!!!! FOR A ROOSTER!!!!" His screams faded, and Gates looked at the rest of them: " You do understand why I am doing this." Gates asked. " TO PURIFY THIS PLANET SIR!" Adit, Greg, Sina, Rama and Jonathan said at the same time. " Good, now you go back to your Y2K preparation!" Gates said. Adit, Greg, Sina, Rama and Jonathan nodded, and went on. When Gates left, Sina said: " Hey guys, this is bad for Nurdin. Remember that time they threw him in the fox kennel to be chased by them! That was so funny!!! But torturous for Nurdin! I mean, when you are a rooster, foxes are nightmares." Adit, Greg, Sina, Rama and Jonathan laughed. Adit said: " Or how about that time they forced him to lay an egg! NOW THAT WAS FUNNY!!!" Adit, Greg, Sina, Rama and Jonathan laughed again. Greg began: " Remember the time they strapped him to a chair, and forced him to look at the Rooster to Kentucky Fried Chicken tape. THAT WAS FUNNY!!! Nurdin wouldn't eat for a whole month!" Adit, Greg, Sina, Rama and Jonathan laughed again. Then they got back to work, Y2K would be upon them in several days, and they were preparing for the worse, as was the rest of the world.
Gates watched in delight as mad foxes chased Nurdin. " AHHHHH!!!" Nurdin screamed running. " MWHAHAHAAHAHHAH!!! What high quality entertainment!" Gates smiled. And it was. " Sir, all the Y2K computers have their programs all set. We should be prepared for the new millennium." Steve Balmer ( Bill's second in CEO command) said. " Good. These patches had better work this time. Remember when our patches failed and we had tiny riots to worry about? We contained them, but I fear that the same thing will happen if these patches do not work. Think about it Steve. Billions of computers, stalling, millions of lights going out, hundreds of systems damaged. The world will go chaotic!" Bill said. " I know my friend. I double checked it to ensure that everything was working, there is no reason for it not to work." Gates and Ballmer laughed at seeing Nurdin being chased again.
Several days later… " We are here at the largest party ever! The new Millennium is coming soon, and everyone in the world has come to see the festivities!" a reporter said. " Ever since our Master Gates created one time system, we realized that one time system would be easier than having stupid time zones! SO!! When it is 9:00 in the morning here, it is 9:00 at night in the darkness and so on. Time is a constant, and in a few minutes, the countdown for the new millennium will commence!"
Adit, Greg, Sina, Rama and Jonathan walked in the massive crowds of downtown Toronto, where the Bill Gates Tower (previously the CN tower) was getting ready to be lit, for the largest fireworks display ever. Gates claimed that a huge windows logo would appear. So huge, that everyone in the world would see it, ON TV!!! There were people chanting, screaming, spilling alcohol all over the city. The problem was, all the police were also drunk, and people were going crazy, but all within Bill Gates parameters. " So I says to him," Sina blurted, clearly drunk from the vodka, " you bether geth your hide outah here, before I gets me gun! And he saids, 'Go ahead you drunken crazy person, get yer gun!' And then he showed me his gun. WOOOOWEEEE!!! It looked like a huge gun of some sort. But I assumed it was a gun. Anyways, he aimed it at me face, and fired, and somehow I was fine! So I kicked him somewhere, and suddenly he went feminin! I shoed him!" Sina said nearly tripping. Rama, Sina and Nurdin were the most drunk out of the group, and the rest could barely make out what they were saying. " Are you sure you didn't imagine it?" Greg asked. " I mean you are drunk!" " Shatup ya drunken rooster!" Sina said. " Lemme drink some booooooze!" " Sina, I am over here!" Nurdin said. " I didn't ask yous to talks!" Sina snapped. " You stupid morororororn! I am Nurdin, CHICKEN OF ALL ANIMALS!!!" Nurdin said proudly. " Whats the matter, CHICKEN???" Sina said flapping his wings in a clear immitation. Nurdin took this as an offense and started pecking in Sina's face. Just then, some Microsoft guards came and dragged him away. But Nurdin continued to sing: " What shall we do with a drunken sailor, what shall we do to a drunken sailor, WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN SAILOR????? THROW HIM OVERBOARD!!!" Nurdin said being dragged away. " Heheee." Sina said. " I showed him!" He looked at YOU!!!! " WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT??? Hey, look, peoples are readin this story!" Sina said. Well of course they are Sina! They are human for gods sake. " I see. Whatdoyall say to get another round o booooooze!" Sina said. " Nah, were fine!" Jonathan said. " AWWWW!!" Rama said. " But I want a donut!" " What does that have anything to do with anything?" Jonathan asked. " BLAH!!! BLAH YOURSELF!!! We sober natives, WESA CANADIAN!!! Take that ya crazy Mericans!" Rama blurted out. Jonathan shook his head and looked to where Adit was standing talking to no one. " Well, you are nice looking!" Adit said. " What, oh, my name is Adit! Yes, I work for a company called, uh, Microsoft." Jonathan could see that Adit was drunk. " Oh, a laughing challenge? OK!!!" " AHHHH!!! NOOOO!!!" Jonathan said hiding in his cloak. " MWHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Can you do better than that?" Adit said. " Adit, there is no one there!" Jonathan said. " Shut up!" Adit said. " You are drunk and are seeing things!" " I have not touched beer tonight at all!" Adit said. " You are dillusional then! THERE IS NO ONE THERE!!!" Jonathan yelled. " I am aware of that Jonathan! I know there is no one there!!!" Adit replied. " Then, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING TO???" Jonathan yelled. Adit looked back at where he was looking at before, and then to Jonathan: "I thought I was talking to that wall! But it ain't there anymore!!! SEE!!! YOU SCARED IT OFF!!!" Jonathan sighed, and Bill Gates came on the large screen of the Bill Gates Tower. " Greetings my fellow friends!" Gates said. The broadcast was being seen across the globe. " I am Bill Gates, BOW BEFORE ME!" Gates said. AT that instant everyone bowed down. " All hair EMPEROR GATES!!!" They said. " Good. Now tonight's festivities will go as follows! You will all get drunk! Then the countdown shall begin, and when it is over, the new Millennium will be here! And then the fireworks will come if Y2K will be just a rumor! But I am confident that nothing will happen when the clocks hit 12! So, MY FRIENDS!!! GET DRUNK!!! For this is your last millennium of the 1000's!!!" At that moment, thousands of flying planes dropped bottles of beer on everyone. Many got hit, and died! But those that lived, drank the beer from the dead people! And so everyone got drunk. Even BILL GATES!!! He came onto the viewer a few moments before the countdown: " SO I SAYS TO HIM, APPLE MAC MY DOSSHELL BUTTOCKS!!! And then I did this!" Gates mooned the audience, and the Steve Ballmer apologized. " Sorry, he is drunk. NOW EVERYONE!!! LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN!!!" Steve said. Everyone began to countdown! " 10!" Sina thought about what he could do if he had the world! "9!" Rama imagined what things would be like in a world where fruits ruled the Earth! "8!" Adit continued to laugh! "7!" Greg calculated how many years were left until the year 2000 with his CBC for KIDS calculator. "6!" Jonathan smiled, for soon, everything would be over! "5!" Nurdin was still being dragged away. "3!" EVERY CHEERED!!!! "2!" EVERYONE THREW UP THEIR BEER BOTTLES, KILLING MORE PEOPLE!!! "4!" The dead awoke. "1!" The last number of the 1000 years, and the closest number to 2000 years! "0!!!!!" Everyone yelled. Then, a large blast came from the Bill Gates tower. But it was not the fireworks. IT WAS Y2K!!!! Then the Bill Gates tower began to walk. " ROOOOOAAAAR!!" It roared. Out of it's tip, where the fireworks were, fire came out, burning buildings. Then the rest of the office buildings came to life, and also joined on stomping the city flat. All over the world, computers went haywire, they came to life almost! The Windows 98 was no longer a new version, and thus, the computers went crazy. They flew out of their sockets, and began killing their masters. People panicked at the sight, and began to run around in all different directions, adding even more chaos to the scenarios. The monster office buildings saw this, and began stomping even harder, and breathing fire.
Meanwhile, at the zoo. An old man was on his night shift when this occurred, he just happened to be in the lion area. Just then, all the cages flung open, and the animals escaped. " Oh no, not again!" The man said running very slowly away. But the lions caught up to him, and dinner was served. All the animals escaped, and went on chaotic rampages, adding even more chaos.
::INSERT PLANET OF THE APES MUSIC!!!!!::
Riots everywhere were going on. " HEY!!! THE Y2K HAS CAUSED SECURITY SYSTEMS TO SHUT DOWN!!! LETS ROB EVERYWHERE!!!" Rama yelled. With that, the town broke windows, and began looting on other peoples stuff. Up overhead, jet planes were chasing each other, and 20 nuclear missiles which had launched themselves flew around in circles. A plane was also there, in the mist of crashing. Meanwhile on the plane: " MOMMY!!! MOMMY!!! Where are we going?" Anee asked. " ANEE!!! I'm flying the plane!!!" The mother said. " But mommy, where are we going! LETS PLAY PEEKABOO!!" Then the girl placed her hands on the pilots eyes, preventing her from seeing anything. The pilot lost control of the plane, and it fell down. " NOOOOO ANNNEEEEE NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" The plane crashed right into a natural gas, and kerosene plant, which caused a huge explosion, lighting half the world in fire. PRRRRRRRFFFFFSSHSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!! The sound of the crashing said. Outside the Microsoft building, people were rioting, and throwing beer bottles at the building. " WE WANT WINDOWS 2000!" Someone yelled. " But it isnt' ready yet!" Bill Gates said. " MAKE IT READY!!!" The crowd yelled. " But that is impossible, there is no Windows 2000 yet!!!" " HE LIES!!!" Someone yelled. " LETS SEARCH THE PLANET UNTIL WE FIND ONE!!!! TIP EVERYTHING YOU SEE!!! START WITH THAT TRUCK!!!" Someone yelled. The crowd moved, and began to tip a truck, which did trip, and lit the area on fire. Some people who were on fire ran around screaming, and tripped on the many beer bottles.
Meanwhile in Japan… A huge tower stomped through the city burning everything. A man ran by screaming: " THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I LEFT TOKYO!!! WAIT THIS IS TOKYO!!! AHHHH!!!" He was eaten alive by the building. All around the world, there was chaos. People were breaking things, smashing everything for no reason. " HEY!!!" Sina yelled still drunk. " BLAME THIS ALL ON THE SCIENCE CENTER!! LETS GO AN TEAR IT DOWN!!!" Sina said. The mob ran into the science center, and broke everything. They went to the mammoth and began smashing it too. Nurdin got the last hit, and the whole structure collapsed on him, causing more dust into the air. The nuclear missiles that were flying, ran out of energy, and began to head towards the ground. Everything went boom!!! " TEAR THAT BUILDING!!!" Adit said. It was a dumb idea because that building was large and unstable. The crowd hit the building with all their might, and it collapsed on them like a loony toon getting hit my several million anvils. More riots were everywhere, breaking everything. Things were on fire, cows ran wild, animals broke things, and giant buildings ruined the city. " ROOOOAAAR!!" Ben yelled. " No Ben NO!" the trainer said trying to get Ben to calm down. Ben flung his arm at him, and the trainer went flying. AT that moment, men came and shot him with tranquilizer darts, causing him to go even more haywire. " ROOOOOOOOAOAAAAAARRR!!!" Ben said going on a more rampages rampage. " YOU IDIOT WAS THAT TRANQUILIZER???" One man asked. " Tranquilizer, I thought you meant adrenaline!" The other replied. Ben went crazy through the town on a rampage, roaring at everyone and everything, flinging his arm at him like a mad maniac.
Bill Gates could see what had happened, the chaos was too great. He could not stand it. The building shook with destruction. " Gates! The building won't take much more!" Ballmer said. " NO!!! I won't leave my empire!" Gates said. " YOU MUST!!!" " NO!!! OK FINE!!! I RETIRE AS CEO!!!! YOU ARE HEAD OF Microsoft!!! And because you are CEO, the CEO goes down with the ship!" Gates said running out. " That's captain you idiot!" Ballmer said. " TOO LATE!!!" Gates said running out and locking the door behind Ballmer. " Uh oh!" Ballmer said. The building collapsed, just as Bill Gates' chopper went flying away. " Take me away from here!" Gates said. " Sir, the chopper, ITS ALIVE!!!" " Now you tell me!" The chopper flew around in several circles before crashing into a building causing both of them to explode.
People ran into the museum for no reason and started breaking the mammoth that was on fire. I blew up and the parts fell on Nurdin who came out of nowhere. Then they all broke the windows with the bones, and even threw the flaming Nurdin out the window. His head and body smashed through the glass, and the fire continued. He ran around like crazy yelling: " WHY!!! WHY WAS I PROGRAMMED TO FEEL PAIN!!!" Then he fell on the ground, and the giant buildings stomped on his attempting to put out the fire, but in the process crushing Nurdin. Then the giant buildings stomped around some more, breaking everything and roaring.
The cell door opened, and Britney Spears walked outside and saw the chaos that was created. She smiled: " Oh, Mr.Gates. If you had only let me free, I could have been here to help you. But no, AHAHHAAH!!! LETS BREAK STUFF!!!" She said running with her army into the ruined city, breaking more things by singing. Then Cad Man came out of his cell, saw the chaos and gasped: " GATES!!! YOU MORON!!! THE CHAOS!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!" Above him Max Man flew and began warping some buildings out of existence also trying to stop the chaos. Cad Man made a 2 dimensional fist and said: " Boys, we gotta swarm them to order!" Then he motioned towards the city, and his armies also ran in adding more chaos as well.
Max Man was running low on energy, and could not warp everyone away. Even though he liked chaos, he could see others were enjoying it too, and thus he could not be the king of chaos, and he must make himself that, BY REMOVING SOME CHAOS!!! He could see Cad Man also trying to stop the chaos, out of sheer fear! He saw a building stomping and breathing fire and roaring, and flew towards it and focused on him. " ROOOARR!!!" The building said swinging it's cement at Max Man as if he were a fly. Max Man concentrated and the building melted into liquid cement. But then he realized what he had done. There was a wave of instantly drying cement headed towards the city!!!
" AHHHH!!! IT'S A WAVE!!!" Adit yelled seeing the cement wave. " We must run from here!" Rama said. The wave got closer and closer, and began freezing several people into statues. People ran away from the wave, but the monkeys who escaped from the zoos just stared with curiosity at the large gray thing headed their way. They continued to stare. " YOU STUPID MONKEYS!!! RUN!!!" Greg yelled. " No we will not!" One intelligent monkey on roller skates said. " Watch!" Greg decided not to hang around and continued running. Then the wave froze the monkeys and there was nothing left except a particular monkey drowning in the cement screaming: " PRAY FOR MOJO!!!" Just then a nuclear plane carrying nuclear missiles flew by, and the pilot suddenly forgot how to drive. The plane with the missiles rammed into the cement causing radiating cement to mutate the monkeys into super monkeys!!! Thousands of monkeys flew out of the nuclear cement and started to blow things up by thinking about it. It was sheer chaos. Building blew up some more. And the Nukes still flew around in circles. ::ADD MORE INTENSE PLANET OF THE APES MUSIC!!!::
The wave of monkeys flew into the horizon heading for Africa to save their brothers and sisters from being trapped in zoos. Some of the monkeys that were not lucky became slaves to people, and they used them to pull carts. Just in the chaos as one man was hitting a monkey with a whip, a robotic Mr. Burns came up to a wrecked teddybear and said: " I know I say this every century Bobo, BUT I WILL NEVER LOOSE YOU AGAIN!!!" Then he ran off into the distance like a spring, as his fellow cyberdog Smithers ran up: " Wait for me sir, WOOF!!! WOOF!!" Then the two disappeared into the horizon.
The unlucky monkeys ran around trying to contain their weight, but in truth, they had just become 100 pounds heavier so it was hard. They just rolled along into the chaos. But Max Man was doing more of this, and even more cement waved everywhere. The Nukes finally lost some energy, and flew towards different parts of the Earth hitting the most important capitals: Washington, Toronto, Berlin, London, Tokyo, Rome, Bombay, Moscow, Hong Kong, and on Nurdin. A big huge explosion sounded the world, and shook it. All of the nuclear debris mixing with Nurdin's feathers, and the fire, caused many things to go wrong. For a start, Nurdin changed, and mutated into something else, A HALF MAN HALF ROOSTER (or his current state right now). All the humans lost their three arms, and grew two new ones. They lost their wheels, and grew two legs in its place. They lost their third eye, and second mouth, and grew one nose. People looked very scary compared to what they looked like a second ago. This continued to be for a long time. The chaos went on, more and more governments were formed. Something called the U.S. was developed from the United States. Something called Russia mutated from the previous USSR. And something called Mexico, remained as Mexico. Overall, the Earth changed, it became corrupted, and everyone on the Earth had mutated into aliens with 2 legs instead of a wheel, 2 eyes instead of 3, and so on. They looked a lot like the monsters of today, the monsters we call, HUMANS!!! But the humans did not stop there! They developed space travel, and built something thought outrageous. Something called a "Space Station." People laughed at the idea. All of the cement caused gravity to go haywire, keeping the people of Earth to Earth. And the gravity also caused all the gray cement to form into a large ball called the Moon, which would rotate around the Earth. Soon, someone would step on this once forgotten cement world, someone named Neil Armstrong. Then he would meet the flying super monkeys, and another war would begin. But that is a different story. Many things were different about this Earth. People went to something called a school, had something called: " Teachers" and so on. It was a drastic change from what they were used to. There was mass corruption everywhere, as people all around the world competed in the game of life for something called: " MONEY". A useless piece of paper that could "buy" someone food. Paper for food was a strange concept, but it was accepted. So was the coin! A round thing which weighed much more than it was worth, and was the cause of so many old people getting back pain. But it was also accepted. Many things were different, and the old world was buried by all the nuclear waste, and the cement, which formed something called the soil. All of this happened. People called archeologists, would find bones of the old animals. The giant buildings. But of course these new humans were too dumb to say they were buildings, and called them instead, "dinosaur bones." More discoveries were made. And someone somewhere discovered the long lost Nuclear Physics. Of course they claimed they had discovered it first, but little did they know that under them, were remains of people who lived in an era where Nuclear Weapons were common. You could buy one at the convenience store. But that was the same here. Children would go into the stores and order the remains of the nuclear weapons now called: " Penny Candy." So many things differed. For one thing, no one had ever heard of something called Microsoft, or someone named Nurdin. As far as they were concerned, they didn't even exist, another folly of mankind. But all the previous survivors had formed their own communities, called "countries," and the world was spread out again. More corruption entered peoples lives. It was an odd time to live in. But one thing was clear, there was never such a thing called Microsoft, or Bill Gates, or a Great War, which killed so many people, replacing them with clones. None of that remained now. No Microsoft existed ever, and there never would be. No one would be stupid enough to become so corrupt as to develop a program called: " Windows" and no one would be foolish enough to actually sell it in the pursuit of money, causing the whole story to start all over again from where it started. There was no one idiot enough to do all this…
Or was there? ::ZOOM IN TO SEE A SHIFTY EYED NURDIN SHIFTING HIS EYES SUSPICOUSLY!!!:: ::insert horror music:: DUM DUMDUM DUM DUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM!!!!!