A short time ago in a galaxy right here… WAR OF CHAOS!!! Episode 5: Conversion
::Insert Star Wars music:: After traveling across the border of Canada, Bill Gates, Britney Spears and Cad Man prepare their forces to attack when Sina asks Gates to surrender. After being mocked several times, Sina hands the megaphone over to Adit, who laughs in Gates' face. Gates begins to laugh also. After a minute of laugher fire, Adit chooses to laugh in a feminine voice, in which Britney Spears challenges him. Tired and impatient, Gates commands the full-scale attack to begin. While chaos is erupting, Sina and his armies attack ferociously, until the Cad Men begin to multiply, and Bill Gates takes out his Windows 98 converter. Sina runs after the weapon and is shot by it. The Cad Men soon swarm the remaining rebel forces, and Adit and Jonathan order a full retreat. With the Capital converted, and their leader lost, and Bill Gates commanding Toronto, is all hope lost for the rebels? Only time can tell…
::Insert Darth vader music:: Bill Gates stared into the tube. Inside was a single human occupant, floating in Windows fluids, preparing for the full conversion. Cad Man and Britney Spears were off trying to get some more people, even though there was no point. " MWHAHHAHAHAHA!!!" Gates laughed. His new home stood teetering on top of the once mighty, CN TOWER!!! " Once Sina is converted to the DOS side, the rebels will surrender. And then, I will convert the CN TOWER into a huge gun, which will convert everything in the universe!!! NO ONE SHALL BE SPARED NO ONE!!!" Gates laughed before realizing he was alone and there was no one to hear his speech. He looked at the tube once again and grinned: " The universe is mine."
::Insert wicked witch of the west music:: "PASTE MY PRETTIES!!! EHEHEHEHEEEE!" Cad Man shrieked. His forces were multiplying and slaughtering all who stood before them. Why he could overrun the entire planet with this army. Why wasn't he? " Yes why am I not?" Cad Man said to himself. He floated above his armies, laughing and the order he had created. " Heehee, everything is becoming Cadified! Soon the universe will be mine! EHEHHEHEHEHHEEEEE!"
::insert bugs bunny music:: " EHEHEHEHEEEE!!! That is right!!! My new CD has all the pleasures of my voice!!! And soon everyone will be mine!!! MINE!!! ALLL MINE!!! EHHEHEHEHHEHEHHEHE!!!" Britney Spears laughed. She flew above her fans, who were destroying as many NON-Spears things as they could. Heh, with her CD out on the market now, she could make a megaphone soooo big, that when she sung into it, the universe would be her slave!!! She stopped laughing. " Hey, if I can do that, why am I not? Eh, must be evil fun." She laughed some more before singing and turning the Canadians into her slaves.
" RUN ADIT!" Jonathan yelled. " They are gaining on us!" " No they are not! We lost them an hour ago!" Adit replied stopping. " THEY ARE RIGHT BEHIND US!! AHHAHHHHHH!!!" " Uh, those are our forces." Jonathan nodded: " Ah yes, I remember now." He shrugged. " I don't know what came over me. It must be the sight of all this destruction and orderly violence! I mean, when the cad men attacked, they attacked in perfect unison. Adit, there may be no way for any of us to survive much longer." Jonathan walked ahead before tripping over a pink object. " What the hell? A disk?" Jonathan picked it up. " MAX MAN BACKUP??? What is this?" He asked. " Hmmmm, Sina's name is on this!" Adit said. " Yes it is. Do you think it could be-" Jonathan began. " It has to be." Adit finished. " TO MR.GIDLEY'S HOUSE!" Jonathan and Adit yelled at the same time.
::Insert creepy music here:: He opened his eyes, bubbles coming around him as he began to breathe. " Where am I?" He asked. He squinted trying to see, trying to remember. The only thing that came into his mind was, " I am your master, Windows is your life. Obey me to the extreme." " Where am I?" He asked louder. " You are home. How do you feel?" Replied a voice. " I feel, confuse, disoriented. Who are you?" He asked again. " It is all going to be better. I am your helper. We are in a war. You were damaged in the war, and being my most worthy ally, I helped you recover." " But I cannot remember anything." " That is to be expected. Your memories will be unrecoverable, however, I have spent more money on your memory regaining than you can imagine. You are in your home now, there is nothing to worry about." The voice said. " I want out! KRUSTY WANT OUT!!!" He yelled. " In time. In time." Gates said. " In time, you will be free, and under my rule." Gates whispered.
Adit and Jonathan walked onto the school property, which was Mr.Gidley's house, along with Nurdin's. AS they walked, they felt the time waves coming on them as time slowed as they neared the Comm. Tech room. As they were walking they bumped into several people. " OW!" Jonathan said. " Jonathan? Adit, is that you?" A voice said. Adit looked up. It was Rama! And Greg was right behind him! Greg waved. " Hello." Greg said. " What are you guys doing here?" Rama asked. " We came to show Mr.Gidley something. It may be a chance for victory." Jonathan said. " Max Man?" Rama said looking at the disk. "Hey, I remember Sina telling me stuff about him. He never had the chance to make Max Man though." " I have a calculator from CBC kids!" Greg said. " What? What does that have to do with anything? It's useless! Get it away!" Adit said slamming it off Greg's hand. Greg ran over and picked it up. " Adit wins this round." Adit said. " Yes, but as we speak, a conversion is headed our way, and Bill Gates and his forces are also coming. We cannot hide forever, we must act quickly. Hey, where is Jia." Jonathan asked. " At home, sleeping." Rama said. " At this time of crisis. Why?" Adit asked. " Eh, he claims to be lazy." Greg said. " DID I ASK YOU???" Adit asked. " No, you asked Rama." Greg replied. Adit hung his head: " You win this round." Adit said. Greg jumped up. " I WIN!!! I WIN!!!" " Well, let's get a move on. MOVE ON!" Rama, Greg, Adit, Jonathan, and their forces moved into the time ripple, where things slowed down. Comma Tech room…
" AHAHAHHA!!! Sam the record man, you are mine!!" Britney yelled. " NONO!!! I won't surrender my shop!!!" Sam yelled. " I'll sing." Britney threatened. " I WON'T DO IT!!!" Britney opened her mouth and began to sing when Sam the Record man went to his knees: " Take it!! Take it all! Don't sing!" Sam said. " I will take it. AND I STILL WILL SING!!!" Britney began singing and Sam fell down in pain. Seeing this, Britney laughed in evil laughter. " HAHAHAHAH!"
Cad Man began heading towards an Adobe shop. " Hehe, there it lies boys. Swarm em!" Several Adobe characters came out and said: " We will not surrender. We shall fight to the erase command!" " Very well." Cad Man said. On the sky the words: " Delete file: Adobe shop 2431" came. The characters screamed in pain as they were wiped out of existence. " AHAHAHHAHAAHAHAAHAHHAHAAA!!!! ORDER!!! DELETE ORDERLY!!!" Cad Man laughed.
They inserted the disk into the drive, and a figure appeared on the screen. He had teapots for feet, and a spout for a nose. He was clearly made by Sina. But this character was hollow, empty. This was only the blue prints. " So chaotic!" Rama said. " Beautiful! So beautiful! HEEEHEE, lets try the explode command. Let's see, chaos," Jonathan grinned " chaos infinity!" " My forces will be ready soon. My forces of corruption!" Rama said. " Good, we need all the help we can get!" Adit said. " I HAVE MY CALCULATOR!!!" Greg said. " Quiet you." Jonathan said. Rama began to laugh. " Heavenly." They watched on the screen as the figure exploded and rebuilt itself. It was coming to life, very slowly (due to their location).
Gates stared into the tube and made slight faces at his new prize. Suddenly, Sina's eyes opened up and Gates fell. " What were you doing?" Sina asked. " Nothing. It is time you came out!" Gates said. " Yes! Goody! What shall we do tonight Gates?" Sina asked. " The same thing we do every night Sina, TRY TO CONVERT THE WORLD!!!" THEIR PINKY, THEIR PINKY AND THE BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN BRAIN, NARF!!!!!!
Cad Man swarmed several more buildings, making the chaos created as a result of his power, orderly. Men and women ran in straight lines, and only said one thing: " Run, run, run." He smiled and began to sing… ::insert wiener song:: " Oh, you wish you were an Auto Cad user! For then you would die more easily! Cause if you were an Auto Cad User….. Everything would become orderly!!!!" His armies kept multiplying, the " Copy, and Paste" commands popping up. Constant swarming was in progress, and Cad Man smiled at the sight. The universe could soon be his.
At that same moment…
" Come out with your hands and feet up!" The Canadian army shouted at Britney Spears. She was inside Sam the Record Man's store, singing, and now they had her. Two nuclear missiles, five hydrogen bombs, and 65 heatseekers were aimed at the shop, clearly, they were willing to destroy it all, and Spears with it. The door opened and Britney Spears walked out, her hands on her head. " Oh, don't shoot those big thingies!" Britney said. " Call off your attack on Toronto, and you may be allowed to live. Wait, what is that in your hand?" The man said looking at Spears. It was a microphone. " EVERYONE, COVER YOUR EARS!!!" The man shouted the instant he saw the thing in her hand. Britney raised the microphone to her mouth, and began to sing. " FIRE AT WILL!!!" The man shouted in pain. The missiles armed them selves, but shut down to her voice. Clearly, they would rather die, than hear her rotten voice. " Ah, crud!" The man yelled. Around him, everyone fell, and became her zombies, and the missiles were now also under her control. If the missiles would not come close to her, there was no chance for victory. Britney stared at the fallen people and smiled an evil smile, one that would scare even the scariest looking monster. Britney opened her mouth and said with joy: " Oh please, did you really think you could stop me?" She laughed. " Grow up! However I will thank you for one thing. I now have missiles, and access to more missiles, and with these, I can make whomever I want, do whatever I say. OOH!!! I love the sweet sense of victory!" She smiled and began to sing: " Oh you wish you were my loyal servant! Then you would all be mine! Cause if you were all my servants… EVERYTHING WOULD BE FINE!!! FOR MEEEEE!!!" She laughed some more, before heading back to Bill Gates, to tell him what she had done.
Bill Gates and Sina stood on the platform, both of them staring at what they were about to do. They could make out some rebels in the distance. Cad Man to his left, and Britney to his right, and Sina his newest ally standing right behind him. He smiled. No force on Earth could break his victory now. The only thing left now, was the last of the rebels, and in a few moments, they would be squished like apples, Macintosh apples. He began to sing: " Oh, I wish I were a Windows User! Cause everything would belong to me! Cause if I were a Windows User, EVERYTHING, WOULD BE FOR ME!!! ONLY!!! MINE!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAH!!!" Gates laughed. Cad Man and Britney laughed too, for they all had something planned. " These rebels, what have they done to us, why are we at war with them?" Sina asked. " Simple really, they opposed the true power. Me!" Gates replied with a grin. " What about freedom of speech?" " Not under my rule!" Gates laughed. Sina shook his head. Although he had no memory of his past, and although Gates claimed he was telling the truth, Sina had a bad feeling about destroying the rebels. Something didn't feel right. " Do not you worry, my loyal friend. All will be ours." Gates said. Sina looked ahead, and could see some more rebels. They were headed their way. Gates raised his hand and said through the com-link: " Everyone, get into Windows formation, version, 98! Prepare to crush our only remaining enemies!" With Cad Men armies at his disposal, a horrible singer, several nukes, an armada of flying windows, and his newly converted "friend" Bill Gates had no fear of loosing. It would not happen.
" There they are!" Rama said. " Do not release them now! We want to surprise them!" " Yes. Arm those whom we have left!" Adit said. " Even my calculator?" Greg asked. " AH gimme that!" Adit said. He took it, and typed something on it. " Lets see, our chances for survival is 1.2%. Man that sucks!" Adit said. He handed the calculator to Greg and said: " It's useless, throw it away!" " NEVER!!!" Greg said with a determination so great, Adit backed away. " Well, here they come. They will intercept us in a few minutes." Jonathan said. " Go into chaos formation. Let's see if they can keep up with our chaotic patterns." Rama said. The remaining rebel fleet, gathered from across the globe went into chaotic formations. They flew around each other in no apparent pattern and flew towards the enemy.
Gates saw the armies coming. He raised his hand, and the armies came to a stop. He wanted the Cad wave to go out first, to swarm them. If victory, fine, if a loss, then the Britney wave would go, followed by his wave. With Sina converted, and invincible, with the abilities to assimilate people into Microsoft, there was no way he could loose. He smiled: " Sina, will you do the honors? Tell them what I told you!" Gates said. Sina walked up to the huge TV hanging from nowhere (OK that was cheap, but come-on, I WROTE THIS!!!!) and his face appeared on the screen as he opened his mouth to talk. " What the hell is that?" Adit asked. " It looks like a huge TV!" Rama replied. Jia appeared from out of nowhere: " TV??? WHERE???" " I don't know what they have planned, but whatever it is, we must be prepared. Get ready to attack." Rama said. The screen turned on and they gasped: " WHAT THE??? HEY IT IS THAT IDIOT FROM THE MILK CARTON!" Adit said. " You mean Sina?" Rama asked. " Quite." Adit said. " What is he doing there?" Jonathan asked. " Greetings rebels." Sina began. " I do hope you saw the sunrise today." " I DID!!!" Greg yelled. Sina ignored him and continued, not remembering who these rebels were. " I hope you saw the sunrise. For it will was the last you will ever see!" " What the? I thought he was joking!" Adit said. " Ah yes, the converter, it must be screwing with his mind!" Jonathan said. " Prepare for the ultimate conversion to power. You will fall, and in it's place, my master, Bill Gates." Sina said. He looked at the rebels, and then he smiled. It wasn't his regular chaos smile, or his LORD CHAVOS smile, but that of a Microsoft employee. " OH MY GOD!!! He has gone evil!!!" Adit said. " Duh!" Rama said. Sina smiled and everyone gasped. Then he spoke the two sentences, which could only be said by someone evil, orderly, or Microsoft like. He said something that went down in the history books, as one of the greatest, and unique quotations in the history of the world. He spoke the words: " NO ONE SHALL BE SPARED!!! NO ONE!!!" And with that, the Cad armies launched their attack on the rebels.