A short time ago in a galaxy right here…
WAR OF CHAOS II!!!
Episode Sixteen: The End of the Universe, With Extra Anchovies!
Jibran floated amidst nothingness where something once was. The entire universe was now him…he was the entire universe, in what order Jibran was not sure, but one thing was sure…HE ABSORBED IT ALL!!!
" BWAH! Fools! All fools! I beat them all! BWAH! BWAHWHA! I absorbed them all…except for Jon, BUT I BEAT HIM PRETTY BADLY TOO! ALL WILL TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH! NO ONE SHALL BE SPARED! NO ONE!" His voice echoed throughout the nothingness for no reason,
" NO ONE..No One, no one…no one no one no one no one…no one no one No One…" His empty echo sounded.
" What the? Why did it get louder?" Jibran asked in confusion.
" Louder…louder…louder louder…" The echo replied.
" HELLO???" Jibran yelled suddenly feeling bad in the stomach.
" Hello…hello. Hello…" The echo replied.
" HOW DARE YOU COPY ME!!!"
" Copy me..copy me…copy me." The echo replied.
" JIBRAN KICKS ASS!" Jibran yelled expecting to hear the echo echo back what he had just said.
" Ass kicked Jibran…" The echo replied.
" WHA JEH!!!" At that moment Jibran felt as if he had actually been kicked in the stomach by some sort of ass. Then Jibran realized it wasn’t an ass that kicked him, it wasn’t anything, except for the fact that his stomach was in much pain now.
" Wow…that last absorption of the universe had too much fat…I think I am getting heartburn." Jibran said patting his stomach slowly. " Ow…" Jibran said quietly trying to calm his stomach down. " Well…I KNOW WHAT I NEED! I NEED SOMETHING TO STOMACH ALL THESE ABSORBTIONS!" Jibran looked around and saw only darkness.
" Well this sucks." Jibran thought to himself. " Nothing…wait, I could have sworn I read an article in the Star regarding how to eat nothingness! Oh wait…that was just salad…damn." Jibran hung his head lonely for a moment and his stomach still in pain. And then something caught his eyes.
" WHATS THIS???" Jibran yelled floating to the object. A slice of pizza was floating through nothingness, the anchovies on it and the pepperoni gave it the shape of a smiling Pizza head. Jibran stared at it with purpose.
" WBAH! THIS WILL CALM MY STOMACH!" Then he paused, " But then I will have nothing to keep me company in this eternal black nothingness."
" Grrrr…" Jibran's stomach said slightly. Jibran rubbed it and said,
" Well, let me view my options…if I do eat it, my stomach will shut up. If I do eat it I will be left alone…BUT IF I DON’T EAT IT THEN THE PAIN MAY NEVER GO AWAY! But I will have a companion…this slice of pizza…that looks sooo much like a…like a face…" Jibran said staring at the Pizza.
Suddenly Jibran's mouth started watering and he advanced on the slice. He stopped suddenly and pushed himself back, " NO! If I eat, then eternal loneliness awaits me…but I need something to shut up stomach…" Jibran turned back to the pizza who's face was now quite scared.
" What do I do?" Jibran asked himself. Through his head a million (minus 999,998) possibilities flooded his mind, leaving him with 2 possibilities and 2 outcomes. He evaluated the possibilities and outcomes and grabbed his head in confusion.
" WHAT DO I DO???" Jibran yelled through the nothingness filled with one pizza.
" DO??? Do?? Do? Do, dooo…." The echo yelled back.
" Was that doomed or do?" Jibran asked.
" Did I say doomed, oops, I meant doomed…doomed, doom, doom…"
" YOU OXYMORON!!!YOU JUST CONTRADICTED YOURSELF!" Jibran yelled.
" Moron…you…Jibran is a moron…" The echo said.
Jibran stared at the Pizza slice which looked quite impatient now.
" What do I do? I cant decide?"
" Listen to your heart…do you want eternal company, or temporary relief?" A voice inside his head asked.
" I want…both, but pain go away now!" Jibran once again advanced on the slice of Pizza with arm's open wide in a fit of crazed greed.
" No…stay away from me…" The Pizza slice yelled trying to run away.
" Must, eat…stop stomach from grrring at me…MUST EAT NOW!" Jibran lunged at the Pizza slice and grabbed it firmly. " BWAHAHWAH! Now you go inside the ultimate ruler of all! Food go in…poo come out? Hmmm… do I want pizza as company, or a piece of shit?"
" THINK ABOUT IT!" The pizza yelled.
" Eh, either works…" Jibran said swallowing the pizza whole. And with that it was done…the last object in the universe other than Jibran was consumed. " Oh yeah! That was one good Pizza…" Jibran said licking his fingers. " Burp." Jibran burped. Then suddenly something started to happen, his stomach started to rumble and Grrr even more.
" GRRR!!! YOU IDIOT!!! THAT HAD STALE ANCHOVIES!" Jibran's stomach yelled.
" WHAT??? OH NO!" Jibran yelled sticking a finger in his mouth to try and get the pizza back out before it was digested. Being all supreme and full of fruit, the anchovies were digested already. " CRAP!!!" Jibran yelled as he felt a rumbling in his stomach. The rumbling got louder and louder until Jibran was shaking furiously. "S-S-S-S-S-S-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-O-N-E-Stop this C-Ra_Z-Y thing!" Jibran yelled. But no one was there.
The rumbling became louder and Jibran felt something horrible crawling up his throat…it was everything he had ever absorbed in his life. " Ohhh…. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFIDELSTICKS!" Jibran yelled. Suddenly, before Jibran's eyes, he saw something that terrified him:
" TOO MUCH DATA, MEMORY OVERFLOW…IT’S A STACK DUMP!"
At that moment everything exploded out of Jibran's fingertips and mouth. Like a vacuum that had just set itself to reverse (or like a black hole sucking everything OUT), everything in the entire cosmos, all the chaos, all the order, every single planet, every single molecule every to have existed within the universe burst out of Jibran.
A kind of desorbtion was in effect and everything that Jibran had ever consumed or absorbed was thrown out of his body with so much force that Jibran felt the Big Bang occurring within him.
Within several minutes of all this anti-absorption, the universe was back to the way it was and Jibran fell unconscious and completely drained of his energies and absorption powers. He floated in space (that was full of everything) in a graceful fall around himself.
Sina and the others were now back in the universe and were looking around and cheering as they saw that their sun and the universe was back to normal…all except for Roddy who was yelling:
" AHHH!! IM GOING BLIND!!!"
Fed up with Roddy, Adit slapped on a pair of shades onto Roddy's eyes. "THERE! Got them at Hakim Optical, they said it was the best."
" I CAN SEE AGAIN!" Roddy yelled.
" You sure can." Adit replied.
" HEY! Where's Jon?" Michelle yelled. At that moment everyone looked around for some sign of Jon. Suddenly, a bright light came as words flashed across everyone's eyes.
" Reboot procedure beginning." The bright light became brighter and brighter until more words flashed, " Starting Jon…Starting Turing Man, Starting Max Man, Starting Cad Man…procedure successful…proceeding to reload next data…"
One by one, Jon, Turing Man, Max Man, and Cad Man appeared into the space before them. " Executing AI." And with that, Jon, Turing Man, Max Man, and Cad Man opened their eyes.
" JON!" Rama yelled. " What the heck happened?"
" We had a little crash and system failure when the universe kinda was absorbed…so we all just reboot ourselves!" Jon said.
" WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THAT BEFORE, SO WE COULD HAVE FOUGHT JIBRAN BETTER?" Roddy yelled angry.
" Eh," Jon shrugged, " Wanted to see what total annihilation felt like." Everyone nodded in agreement.
" So, how did it feel?" Sina asked.
Jon paused for a moment and turned to Turing, who turned to Max Man, who turned to Cad Man who said, " Cant remember."
" HEY! There's Jibran!" Rama yelled pointing to an area of space where Jibran was floating. They all flew over there (completely unaffected by the laws of airlessness in space)…
Mr. Shaikh yelled: " NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
They all floated to Jibran's unconscious body and Jon said, " Wow…so that’s what I meant as Code Warrior when I said Vulnrable…in…he was vulnrable…INSIDE!!!" Everyone oohed and ahhed. Then Jon stared at Jibran with pity.
" How bout we bring him to consciousness?" Jon closed his eyes and ran procedure_consciousness. Jibran opened his eyes and the first thing he said was:
" I vow…never again to eat a pizza…"
Everyone started to laugh and they dragged the weak Jibran back to the school. They landed on school grounds and found that everything was back to the way it should have been before Jibran's reign of terror.
" Wow…things look…normal." Sina said.
" Yeah…except I don’t remember Graham NOT being here." Jon said.
" Here I am!" Graham said popping out of nowhere.
" Where have you been all this time?" Sina asked crossing his arms.
" Somewhere with the Prefects…I forget." Graham replied.
" Eh, works for me!" Rama said.
Nurdin flapped his wings and flew towards them. " LOOK AT ME!!! I LOOK LIKE A HUMAN!!! NO FEATHERS! NO WINGS!!!" ERROR!!! IGNORE (Nurdin flapped his wings and flew towards them) PLEASE! " I have no wings! I look like a regular human now! FINALLY! ABOUT BLODDY TIME!" Nurdin yelled staring at his new arms and legs…he was finally human.
" No more bird seeds for me!" Nurdin yelled with joy.
" That’s what you think…" Rama said quietly.
Nurdin was too happy to hear that comment…or do anything about it. They all stood in front of the school for a moment and smiled.
" Well, now that Jibby is back to normal I guess it means we can all get back to our regular lives." Chrissy said.
" Not exactly…" Jibran said getting up. " I may be useless as a human now, but I still love wearing this cloak! I am not going to get rid of it!"
" Then don’t! What do I care?" Sina said turning away.
" So…what do we do?" Rama asked.
From out of nowhere, Adit appeared and said, " IM GONNA DO THIS!!! BWAHWHAWHAWHWHAWH!" And he threw the jar full of Jibran laughter on the ground, smashing it sending out loud laughter.
" That was unesesary!" Jibran said.
" Yep." Adit said running away. The sound of a door slamming was heard followed by a car driving away.
" So, this is the end then…back to regular good chaos?" Roddy asked.
" I guess so…" Sina said pausing.
" Something feels out of place though…" Sina said.
" What is it?"
" Bill, what was the ratio of time slowing down in the Nut House compared to normal time?" Sina asked.
" It was 100000000 to 1…OH DEAR GOD NO!" Bill Gates yelled remembering who had been left in the nut house.
" Eh, leave her." Sina said.
" BUT-BUT…she will-"
" Well she cant go anymore nuts can she?" Sina asked.
" Nope…" Bill said withdrawing his comment.
They all stood around for a brief moments staring at each other and shifting uncomfortably for a second.
" No cool freaky ending like in the last war of chaos? No Nurdin shifting his eyes in useless evil?" Nurdin asked a bit dissapointed.
" Yeah! Wheres the cool ending, with the end of the universe or the death of Jibran or final defeat of all out important rivals?" Rama asked.
Everyone stared at Sina who didn’t speak.
" Sina, what the hell kind of ending is that?" Gates asked slightly angry. Jon stepped in the way and said,
" Its an ending…good enough."
Everyone nodded in agreement.
" SO! How about we all get some Pizza at Westdale?" Sina asked.
" Sure." Jibran said.
Everyone walked off headed in the direction of Westdale. Halfway there, Nurdin ran back to the school. After catching his breath he said,
" Well I wont let it end this way…" Nurdin said. He started to shift his eyes. Angry with the betrayal Nurdin showed, Sina, Jon, Graham, Adit, Roddy and everyone else picked up a stick each and threw it high up into the air…
::INSERT 2001 MUSIC::
the sticks all fell on top of Nurdin crushing him horribly…
DUM DUM!!! BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM…DADUM!!!!