::Insert Star Wars Music::


Episode Eight: The TURnING Idea

Jibran waited in the office when a fat looking thing walked through the door. Realizing that the door had to be opened first, Cad Man twisted the doorknob and then proceeded actually entering the office.

" Lousy you have to turn the stupid knobs, knobs…why in the cyber world knobs turn themselves!" Cad Man said with disgust. He walked to where Jibran was standing and Jibran nodded.

" Where the hell have you been?" Jibran asked making fists. " The school is out of Order"

" Yeah I know." Cad Man said showing no concern at the situation. " I was attacked by a pack of flying birds on the way here." He coughed and a feather flew out of his mouth. " Actually, I made quite a meal out of those birds…"

Meanwhile in the cafeteria…

Nurdin suddenly had a dark and scary premonition that something terrible had happened to one of his bird flocks. Despite the fact that he was under attack and in pain, he still managed to yell, " NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Meanwhile, back in the office…

::Insert Darth Vader Music::

" You idiot, theres no point in putting that music now!!! Anyhow, I want you to restore order to the school, restore MY order." Jibran said.

Cad Man stared into Jibran’s eyes and saw that he had gone mad with power. Cad Man sighed and said, " And why would I want to do that? These birds are literally flying into my mouth! Its an all I can eat bird buffet!" At that moment from somewhere outside the office, Jibran and Cad Man heard a muffled cry: " NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Ignoring the cry and becoming irritated at the tone Cad Man was using, Jibran zapped Cad Man forcing him to crash into a nearby wall. " You will do as I say immediately! Do it, NOW! Restore order!"

Cad Man stared at Jibran with anger. " Stupid kid." He thought to himself. Suddenly, Jibran’s eyes lit up with fury again.

" I HEARD YOU THINKING THAT!" Jibran yelled pointing a charged finger at Cad Man. Cad Man shook his head, Jibran had waaay too much power now. He would have to strike when he least suspected. For the time being he would play along. He didn’t actually think this, it was an instinct that came to him and it was apparent that Jibby couldn’t sense instinct.

" As you wish." Cad Man said. He turned around and walked right into the doors again. Mumbling something, Cad Man turned the knob and walked outside.

Jibran couldn’t help but grin. Soon everything would be under control once again.

Jon opened his eyes and found himself in the computer room. Wait a minute…HOW THE HELL DID HE ESCAPE AN ARMY OF FLYING MONKEYS AND PREFECTS???

" I transported him here through the power lines." Max Man said.

" What the? How the hell did you manage that?" Jon asked in surprise. His head ached a bit but it was nothing that was too serious.

" The world you live in isn’t exactly real. It is actually a computer program." Max Man said on the computer screen.

Jon shook his head, " What the? That’s violating copyright laws for the Matrix!"

Max Man grinned and said, " I am glad you brought that up. Take the name Matrix…and remove 3."

" Sorry, haven’t taken grade 12 math yet." Jon said sadly.

" No no, take away tri from Matrix." Max Man said.

" Oh…WAIT!!! IT SAYS MAX!!!" Jon said with surprise.

" Exactly! And they used me to make parts of that movie. Listen Jon, you are the only person who can stop Cad Man now. He will be restoring order anytime now and you have to prevent him from causing too much order. You have your Turing booklet with you?" Max Man asked.

Jon nodded and pulled out his Turing book from out of nowhere. " Yep, here it is. What are we going to do with it?"

" Turn to page 44." Max Man said.

" But in the Turing booklet we have no page 44. We have two page 43’s instead. It was a misprint. We pointed it out to Mrs. Young a while back." Jon said flipping to page 43 b.

Max Man sighed, " Do I have to tell you what to do? GRRR! Ok…take some white out and erase the second 43…and write 44 on it!"

Jon did as he was told and watched with amazement as the page seemed to open up. " What the hell? I just used white out! How is this possible! The laws of Physics don’t apply!"

" That’s because its quantum mechanics…forget everything you learnt in Mr. Shaikh’s class…" Max Man said.

Jon looked around nervously for a bit (because he had cut the class replacing it with lunch) and said, "Done and done! My god…look at page 44! What is this???" Jon asked.

" The syntax code for making something that will become reality… It uses a simple put command followed by a never-ending loop. The computer is fooled into bringing the thing to life from the floppy drive!" Max Man said.

Jon was amazed at what he was seeing. " You mean a computer program can come to life? As in into our world?"

Max Man nodded. " Then you know what you have to do!"

Jon nodded and immediately started making REALITY PAC MAN! Max Man grunted with anger, " No you idiot! Don’t make some stupid game! You need to design something of unimaginable power!" And a picture appeared on the monitor that showed Jon what he had to make…

Cad Man stood on the cafeteria stage as several birds hit him from all directions. "Stupid birds." He coughed slightly and summoned his full orderly power. " Uh, excuse me…crazy people fighting in the caf, kindly turn your attention towards me." The entire caf still didn’t stop. They continued fighting and pecking and punching and Roddy threw a table everywhere still. Cad Man sighed and said, " Grrrr…this is going to take my most powerful power…" Cad Man started tap dancing on stage and saying, " Excuse me crazy people…birds, tables, flying monkeys and homosapiens…PLEASE LOOK AT ME!!!" The caf finally stopped to stare at Cad Man who was dancing. Now that he had their attention he spoke.

" Could you guys please be a bit more orderly?" Cad Man grinned nervously when he noticed that people had indeed stopped what they were doing. Adit who was in the middle of another belly flop seemed to float in the air with much difficulty. " Oh for crying out loud! Land and then direct your attention towards me!" Adit fell as did everything else that was floating and then they turned to face Cad Man. " Ah good. I have some concerns. Firstly, you are all nuts. Secondly, what the hell is with the flying monkeys? Who released them?"

Rama spoke, " The bitch did sir."

Cad Man shook his head, " No, Britney Spears didn’t do that! It is unkind to lie. Ignoring that last question and arriving to my largest concern. It has occurred to me that most of you are at each others throats…" He stared at Nurdin who was trying to live despite the fact he was against 43 vultures. " In some cases, many of you are teaming up against Nurdin, BUT ANYHOW! Could you please keep the violence down to a minimum of no violence? It hurts my head." Everyone nodded agreeing and the caf fell silent. " Very good. Now go and have some tea or something, or whatever it is you humans do. I have a country to conquer."

Cad Man walked off the stage and headed for the caf doors when he crashed into them. He spun around and yelled " AND WILL SOMEONE REMOVE ALL THE DOORS IN THIS SCHOOL? I HATE BUMPING INTO THEM!" He pushed on the lever to the caf doors and walked out.

Jibran walked back onto the stage and grinned as he saw people were once again in order. " Excellent, everything is falling back into place."

Sina had spent several days in the Nut House for the Insanely Interesting (because of the fact that time flowed at a different rate in there than it did everywhere else) and he had not been fed once. He was dead starving and raving paranoid. The white coat he wore seemed to keep his arms into place and the padded walls prevented him from either hurting himself, the wall, or making an escape for it.

" I need some energy." Sina said barely being able to move his mouth. Then, something caught his eye. It was a banana peel. Sina rushed to it but when he reached the banana peel, it vanished. It was only a mirage. " Oh no, I am starting to hallucinate again! NONONO!" Several pink elephants started dancing around Sina and in sheer terror he ran to the corner of the room and rolled up into a ball. " Sina want out…Sina want Fruit to Go… LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! LET ME OUT!!! " He continued those words for several more hours…time passed by.

Bill Gates walked around the city without his glasses bumping into all sorts of things. It had taken him a while to get out of the school being blinded and not knowing where the hell in the never-ending halls he was. But at last he was out and in the city. He spotted something large and assumed it was a car.

" YES! I can drive my way to the Nut House! I have to get Sina out of there so he can overthrow Jibran. That stupid runt broke my glasses." Gates made a fist and stepped onto the car’s roof when he heard an elephant like cry.

" Uh, sir, could you kindly get off that elephant?" A voice said. Gates looked around but could see no one (he couldn’t see anything anyway because he was blinded).

Gates ignored the voice and grabbed onto the steering wheel of the car and started driving away. " UH SIR!!! GET BACK HERE WITH THAT ELEPHANT! I KNOW YOUR OLD AND CONFUSED SIR BUT YOU DON’T NEED TO STEAL ELEPHANTS FROM THE ZOO!"

Gates yelled back, " Elephants are the new field of traveling! Camels are too slow!" And with that, the elephant stomped out of the zoo headed in no particular direction. Gates just hoped that at random he would luckily arrive at the Nut House for the Insanely Interesting.

Britney Spears walked through the halls trying to find Cad Man and or Bill Gates. She had left him blinded in the halls but when she came back, he was gone. The fighting prefects and birds had for some odd reason stopped and the halls were now once again very orderly. She frowned as she sensed the order Cad Man had caused.

" Blast this stupid story. I cant even find Cad Man in it! I really should have stayed in Florida and kept to my singing career instead of trying to get another shot at ruling the world." She took a deep breath and pushed back some of her hair, " What I need to find is a script of the story to find that repulsive Cad." At that moment she heard two people talking in the halls beside the one she was walking in. One spoke in a very sloooow tone and the other talked and judging by the way he talked, Britney guessed that the man had a very large beard.

" Well actually Don, the new version of Auto Cad is supposedly the fastest way to render!" The bearded man said.

" Don…who is Don?" Britney asked herself. Then it snapped into place and she took out her copy of the Woodlands Planner…TEACHER EDITION! She found what she was looking for. " Ah yes…Don Gidley will be able to lead me to Cad Man…BWAHAHAHHAHA!" She stepped in front of them and smiled,

" Uh, hello. You two look like gentlemen who know the whereabouts of Cad Man. Could you kindly take me to him?" Britney said in a very puppy dog eyed look. The fact of the matter was that at that moment, her head had somehow turned into a dogs head with the puppy dog look on its face.

Mr. Gidley smiled and started to speak but realizing it took 3 minutes for him to say the word, " Sure," Britney turned to the bearded man whom she identified as Mr. Vendryes and decided to let him lead her to Cad Man, it would be much faster.

" Sure, follow me." Mr. Vendryes said. Britney grinned and followed Mr. Vendryes as Mr. Gidley struggled to say the next word in his sentence as fast as he could.

Bill Gates and his elephant Jimbo (a name he had given it recently) stormed around in the city in hopes of finding the Nut House for the Insanely Interesting.

" Mommy, why is that man riding an elephant in the streets?" A little boy asked.

The mother replied, " That’s Bill Gates." And with that simple sentence, the boy’s questions were answered fully.

" Uh, excuse me, what street is this?" Gates asked a man. The man didn’t reply and Gates asked again, " Uh, I have a dollar, could you kindly tell me what street I am on?" At that moment the tall man spoke,

" Ah yes, this is Winston Churchill." The man took the money and ran away. Several meters away, a man watched in confusion as a lamppost talked, took Bill Gates’ dollar and ran away.

Gates said, " Winston Churchill, who the hell was that?"

Jimbo replied, " Some sort of English man, how should I know?" Gates nodded and realized that the information he had just received was of much help indeed.

" English man eh? TO ENGLAND! Maybe there I can find the Nut House for the Insanely Interesting." Gates pointed in a random direction indicating which way Jimbo should move. Jimbo sighed and proceeded in that direction.

Jibran stood on the stage once again staring at the order the caf was in. Birds and people and prefects were now playing cards and drinking tea in calm order. He smiled and took a deep breath of relief. " Boy that was a scary 2 episodes! But now with my godness once again staring down at these fools, I feel renewed again… BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHHHHAAAHAHWHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHABAHHAHWHAHHAHAHAHAHAHWHAHWBABWAHAHHAHHAHWBAHBHAHHHHHHBHWAHHHHHHHWABWHABWAHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAABABAAAWWAAAAAAAAABAAAAAAAAAAWWAAAAAABBBAAAAAAABAAAAWAAAAA-"

" Could you shut up please?" Adit asked.

" YOU DO NOT TELL ME TO SHUT UP!" Jibran said angry.

" You are right, I asked you politely, NOW WILL YOU SHUT UP OR NOT?" Adit asked very irritated.

" No, I do not believe I shall." Jibran said grinning and holding himself up in the highest degree.

Adit nodded and said, " OK, just wondering."

Jibran took a jar and decided to store his laughter in the jar. He laughed into the jar and when he was done he closed the lid.