A short time ago in a galaxy right hereÖ
WAR OF CHAOS III!!!
Episode Fourteen: The Low Panter Mysteries of the World
It had been some time since Britney and Sina were glaring at each other. Actually, it had reached such a level that they had actually lunged at one another and engaged in a senile stick fight. Throwing rocks at one another, defending themselves with sticks, the area inside the cave had turned into a battleground.
" IF I GET YOU, YOU WONT GET ME!" Sina yelled rushing with the stick. Britney's stick flung forth and the two collided in such an unlikely way, that the tips hit one another and broke.
" AND VICE VERSA!" Britney yelled back. The unlikely event that the tips of their sticks would collide every time repeated until they had no more sticks left. They turned to the odd shaped things around them, rocks. Picking up a rock, Sina threw it yelling, " SEE YOU IN HELL, CRAZY GIRL!"
Britney dodged the rock to a dancing move used in Crazy (which has still been singing through all this time on repeat). She picked up a rock and threw it at Sina which hit him directly in the face. " HEY YOU!" Sina yelled angrily. " YOU DONíT THROW SUCH ROCK!" Sina picked up a rather large boulder and the idea popped into his head that the boulder was big enough to get out of the hole! But it would be much more fun to use for squishing purposes, and he did!
" MY FOOOOOOOOT! ITS FLAT AS A PANCAKE! ILL KILL YOU!" Britney yelled and the two engaged in a massive fight once again. At many times, a mysterious ladder from nowhere came and left, with all moments of escape being ignored by both of them. Idiots.
" HEY SHUT UP!" Sina yelled. " I DIDNíT ASK YOU TO SPEAK YOU STUPID NARRARATOR!" Well I did anyway, and there is nothing you could do about it. If you would pay attention to the ladder to your left, the one that just vanished instead of fighting! IDIOTS! You have to ally to get out of this hole.
" But that involves a truce!" Sina yelled. Yes it does, so make a bloody truce! Sina and Britney stared at one another's beat up faces. " Well, it couldnít hurt to get out of here at least." They shook hands.
" Now how do we get out of here?" Britney asked rubbing her chin.
" I GOT IT! I read in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy that if you stick out your middle finger, aliens may find you and give you a lift!" Sina said sticking out his middle finger. From the sky, a large anvil fell on his head.
" Isn't that your thumb?" Britney asked extending her thumb. Immediately a green glow surrounded the cave as the exit hole was covered by a large disk. A light shone down on Britney, Sina and the anvil and they floated up inside the ship. Reaching the ship, the first thing they heard was a funny voice saying,
" YOU DONíT EVER STICK OUT YOUR MIDDLE FINGER AT US!"
" OwwÖI am sorry, but you didnít have to throw an anvil on me." Sina said.
" True, but we found it amusing. We do all these sorts of things. Our favorite target is someone named Nurdin." Sina smiled and started chuckling.
" Well thank you. We have to get to Earth immediately." Sina said.
" Which one?" The voice said. The shadowy figure stepped forward and Sina gasped to be staring in his own face. The being was him! From another reality! Sina felt like someone in this multiverse finally understood him. That is until the being removed the mirror mask he was wearing to reveal his ears to be ridged, like that of a Vulcan.
" What the hell?" Britney asked. Sina gave the Vulcan salute.
" YOU DONíT GIVE US THAT CRAP!" The Vulcan yelled. " THAT HAS BEEN FOUND TO BE OUR VERSION OF THE MIDDLE FINGER! Now in regards to your Earth, which Earth do you wish to go to?"
" What do you mean? EarthÖmy home! NOW!" Sina yelled. The Vulcan led him to the window where Sina nearly cried. Before him floating were hundreds of Earths, just floating, and engaged in some sort of battle. It was at that moment that Sina realized the multiverse had collapsed releasing all realities into one. " Ah hell!" He said.
Jon stared and said again, " Dave? Dave is that you? MY GOD! HE SAYS HE IS DAVE! What is that?" Jon paused. " He wants us to follow him."
" WHAT?" Cad Man yelled. " But he didnít say anything! And I donít sense any telepathy! Whats going on?"
" I donít know. Just lets follow him." Jon said floating towards the direction Dave was headed.
" What is he saying now?" Cad Man asked. Gates and Turing followed behind.
" He says he wants to show us something. Apparently he has always been everywhere, we just haven't noticed him because his existence works on a different barrier than our brains. Meaning we could stare at him for ages, and not even notice he was there! But with the Multiverse barriers broken, he is now visible." Jon said.
" How the heck did you just learn that?" Gates asked feeling dumb.
" Dave told me." Jon said so casually it even scared himself. " And now he wants you to shut up." Jon said to Gates.
" Who does he think he is? Bossing me around like that?" Gates yelled angrily.
" Dave." Jon said again. They all floated to where Dave was leading them.
"EIGHT!" A voice yelled as he flew through the air. Eight stopped and everyone else was forced to stop. " Something odd is happening!" The voice replied.
" What has happened?" Eight asked. Celine joined in on the conversation while everyone just stared at them talking to what appeared to be themselves. Michelle spoke, "If Jon were here, he would assume they are somehow talking to Dave." Everyone nodded.
" WHAT?" Eight yelled suddenly. " WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE PYRAMIDS CAME TO LIFE? WHAT? OH LIES! IMPOSSIBLE! Are you trying to tell me, that the Heads on Easter Island merged to form a large floating head which floated over to Egypt and combined with the Sphynx which merged with the Pyramids. And in the meantime Stonehedge just got up and walked away? HOW? Whats going on?" At that moment a slight rumbling was heard and Eight stared below them as he saw massive bubbles appearing in the ocean they were flying over.
" What's going on? Did the ocean eat too many beans?" Roddy asked.
" I donít know." Eight said staring closely. Suddenly a large shadow appeared and Eight yelled, " EVERYONE! OUT OF THE WAY!" Everyone lunged to one side and from out of the ocean a large continent rose, and flew high up into the sky where it floated for several moments.
" WHY THE HELL IS ATLANTIS UP SO EARLY?" Celine yelled. " We didnít rise it until after the third world war! Why is it happening now?" Eight shook his head with disbelief. The continent seemed to be rearranging itself.
" ITíS A TRANSFORMER!" Isaque yelled. At that moment the sound of someone yelling in the distance was heard. It got louder and Eight yelled once again,
" EVERYONE! OUT OF THE WAY!" Suddenly the air became chaotic as millions of rocks, pyramids and other wonders of the world filled the air. They all span around Atlantis which continued to float. Everyone stared at awe at the chaotic sky filled with the many mysteries of Earth. It was now clear who had built the pyramids. The aliens had clearly done it. The next thing that happened was very odd. The large head of the merged Easter Island heads spoke,
" YO! Atlantis, how are you guy?"
" Yo find head! Feeling good now, yo?"
The Pyramid opened up to form a mouth which said, " YO, WAZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!"
" WAAAAZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!" The continent spoke back. At that moment, the Stonehedge blocks all began saying WAZZZAAAP as well. Something very odd was happening.
" Yo guy, so what is up?" The sphinx asked.
" I dunno, looked like the Multiverse crashed again. Crappy Norton Anti-Multiverse Crash not working. I mean how many times have we had to do this man?"
" Only once." The Pyramids spoke.
" Oh yeah, well thatís one too many times. Yo guy, this sucks!"
" Please, all of you shut up." Atlantis spoke in a godly voice.
" Yes sir."
" Now we must all merge to form the ultimate repair unit to go and help fix this crummy universe. We have to separate the universes one by one."
" And how do you say we do this man?" Stonehedge asked.
" Well, we gotta drag every single planet and molecule back to the area where it belongs and repair the barrier." Atlantis said.
" Like defragmenting?"
" Exactly. So lets all do this. ITS MORPHINE TIME!" Glows of energy surrounded the massive beings and voices were heard, but they were drained out by Atlantis, " MOPHINE TIME YOU IDIOTS! NOT MORPHIN! THIS AINT SOME CRAP POWER RANGERS EPISODE! MORPHINE TIME!" A glow came this time, as large needles appeared out of nowhere and injected some liquid into the buildings. The needles vanished and a glow surrounded the things.
" Now, let us all uniteÖ" And the oddest thing happened. Like a really old transformer that doesnít transform, but is forced to, the pieces from all around the world forced themselves into fitting into a large figure. " Lets do this." The being said. And with that it flew up into the sky.
Everyone paused for a minute as if speechless. " What the hell was that?" Roddy asked.
" That wasÖodd." Rama said making a face unable to comprehend what just happened.
" Well, the fact that this just happened is no reason to postpone our training. And I think that this area is just perfect for training. Oceans so if you drown its OK. LETS BEGIN! First we will form into battle groups and test our strengths." Eight said. Everyone went into groups and began training.
Bert and Jibran sat on the train tracks eating rats. " Awww rats." Nurdin said.
" You donít have to rub it inÖthe rats I mean. Donít rub them in the dirt." Jibran said briefly. " Look at us, stranded and somewhere where we donít know where we are. What kind of crummy end is this to the adventures of Jibran?"
"AND NURDIN!" Nurdin quickly added.
" No, The Adventures of Jibran and his useless canary." Jibran said hatefully.
" IM A ROOSTER." Nurdin yelled standing up.
" Yeah whateverÖya useless canary." Jibran said under his breath.
" I HEARD THAT!" Nurdin yelled again.
" For crying out loud! You YELLED IT OUT LOUD! What do you take me for? Deaf? I mean I would hear something like that." Nurdin stopped and saw two females standing in high stockings and holding a sign, " Looking for a good time, for money? What the hell is that?"
Jibran sighed, " Part of popular culture."
Nurdin's eye twitched once. " Donít ever say that! I'm popped full of culture. BIRD CULTURE!"
" No one watches the bird channel Nurdin. Thatís why it doesnít exist." Jibran said drawing a shape in the ground.
" Where is the bloody train?" Nurdin asked impatiently.
Jibran shook his head, " So this is how it ends. No train. Here we just sit, doing nothing. Look at me. I am a mess. I'm a renegade in some bird dominant world."
" THERE HE IS!" A voice quacked. Jibran stood up quickly, alert for what was to come next. It was the chef, but he brought a mob of chefs with him.
" OH NO!" Jibran yelled. " WERE DOOMED!"
" WE? I am one of them, you are not. I believe it if, YOUR DOOMED! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!" Nurdin laughed stepping aside.
" WE WONT LET HIM ESCAPE THIS TIME!" The chef yelled. " READY!" The birds all turned and bent over. " AIM!" Their asses pointed at Jibran and Jibran gulped with fear. " FIRE!" Massive loads of white crap flew towards Jibran.
" OH SHIT!" Jibran yelled.
" Thatís bird shit." Nurdin corrected. At that moment, a train went by and Jibran did a quick backflip onto the train and escaped.
" DONíT LET HIM GET AWAY!" The chef yelled. Nurdin followed the large mob as it flew up into the air and followed the train. Jibran ran over the train cars trying to get to the very front where he would then hijack the train. As he ran, he heard the evil squawking of birds behind him. Running faster, Jibran finally made it to the front where a rooster in a conductor hat was.
" THIS IS A HIJACKING!" Jibran yelled making a gun by putting his hands in his sleeves.
" And what is that?" The conductor asked. Clearly he was not believing it was a gun.
" THAT IS MY HAND IN A SLEEVE SHAPED LIKE A GUN! NOW STEP ASIDE!" Jibran said. The rooster did so,
" OK OK! Just donít point that sleeve at me! Maybe we can talk this out!"
" NO TIME! YOU GO NOW!" Jibran said. He pushed the rooster and it fell out of the train with tremendous speed yelling, " AAAIIIIEEEEEE!"
Jibran fumbled with the controls of the train and found that there were none. "WHAT IS THIS?" He yelled pressing the wall. Nothing happened. Obviously, what kind of idiot would press a wall,
" CRAM IT NARRARATOR!" Jibran yelled. " Now I must find a way to make this train go faster." Jibran grinned with an idea. He got out and started pushing it somehow. The train sped up slightly but not fast enough. The birds were still pursuing him. Jibran panicked, " OH! STUPID TRAIN!!! GO FASTER!"
" I cannot do that Dave." A strange voice said.
" WHAT THE? IM JIBRAN!" Jibran yelled at the voice. "GO FASTER!"
" I cannot do that Dave." Jibran snapped,
" LOOK! I AM JIBRAN! JIBBY! JIB JIB! JIBU! JIBRANIBAL! SOMETHING WITH JIB IN THE FRONT OF IT!"
" Jibdave?" The voice asked.
" WAAAAH! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND DAVE? Look, just please go fasterÖplease, I beg of you!"
" I am sorry DaveÖyou cannot have any more oxygen." At that moment something odd happened. The train began to fly higher and higher.
" What are you doing?" Jibran asked nervously.
" Getting high Dave. Soon you will get light headed, and then beheaded when your head explodes due to lack of oxygen." The voice said calmly.
" NOOOOOO!!!" Jibran looked at the ground and saw that the birds were flying up as well still following him. He looked at the sky which was getting closer. Suddenly, the train rocked.
" Oh no Dave, we hit the sky." The voice said.
" HIT IT? BUT HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?"
" It just is DaveÖnow we fall back to the ground." And it did. Jibran felt himself float because he was actually falling. His time was soon to come as the ground drew closer and closer.