A short time ago in a galaxy right here…
WAR OF CHAOS III!!!
Episode Sixteen: The First Earth
Jibran was floating nowhere. For as long as he could remember he had been floating there. Here, there was here. Where was here, and was here truly there? These thoughts plagued his mind. Wherever he was, it was dark and empty. He thought of calling out to someone but was too lazy to do so. Instead he hoped someone would find him. He started thinking to himself.
" Why am I here? I didn’t absorb the universe to account for all this nothingness. And where the hell is everyone else? WHY HAVE THEY JUST LEFT ME?" Jibran yelled. The thought of Jack crossed his mind. " Yes…Jack. That’s why I am here, or rather that’s why I WAS here. But now…now, it looks like I am screwed." At that moment a large screw appeared. Angry at his fate, Jibran aimed his palms at the screw and blasted it to oblivion. Only, he didn’t blast it to oblivion. Nothing happened. Jibran tried again and failed again. " What the?" He floated from left to right, but he couldn’t do anything other than fly in a specific direction. " NOOO! Well, whatever happens, I sense Jack is gone, and the Multiverse gone wrong. Ahh…why did I get up this morning? Eh, might as well fly towards the closest star system and try to find something…" Jibran floated in no apparent direction heading for where he felt (and hoped) would be someone…
Jibran was floating somewhere. Why was he breathing now? Didn’t the stupid HAL train fly into space or something? Or did he just appear there? Either way, he was able to breathe. " Stupid HAL thing…" At that moment a large boot came out of a compartment and kicked Jibran in the face.
" SHITHEAD!" Jibran yelled in pain.
" I do not like it when you say such things Dave. You must be nice…" HAL said.
Jibran felt the boot print that was on his face. " Ahh…there goes my beautiful face…" For some unknown reason, the entire Multiverse felt like it was laughing out loud. " AH QUIET YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING UNIVERSE! WHAT GOOD ARE YOU ANYWAY? I remember how I absorbed you…and you barfed yourself back up! What good are you? HUH? YOU ARE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE!"
" No I’m not…" A cosmic voice said.
" Who are you?"
" Oh for cryin out loud! You talk about the universe for ages and when it (me) speaks you ask who are you?" The voice replied.
" Nono, I know its you. I just had some laser thingy in my eye for no apparent reason by some idiot…old habit of stuff happening like that." Jibran said blinking.
" Well, looks like its just me and you…and a couple infinity other creatures and dimensions." The voice said.
" JUST US? Such a small world…" Jibran said feeling almost sympathetic for the universe he was in. " Hey, what are those flashes of light?"
" Earths…many of them caught in useless conflict. These are several worlds where Bush has gained dominance." The voice said.
" Can you get me there HAL?" Jibran said.
" As you wish…which Earth?" HAL asked.
" Ummm…the first Earth on the way."
" As you say Dave…" Jibran was about to say something, but decided against it. For the time being he felt fine being called Dave…for the time being…
Sina landed hard on the ground but for some odd reason didn’t get hurt. Britney on the other hand had landed spinefirst on a large rock and appeared to be in pain.
" Are you OK?" Sina asked.
" YOU TELL ME? I HAVE A ROCK GOING THROUGH ME? YOU THINK IM OK??? Well…I am." She got up ignoring the gaping hole in her chest and walked towards Sina. " So…how the heck do we find a train?"
" I have not a clue…but I was hoping the train could come to us." Sina said rubbing his chin.
" Pfft…yeah right." Britney suddenly placed a finger on her lips signaling Sina to SHUT UP. Sina listened carefully and heard something. There was something coming, and it was getting louder by the second. Before he had the chance to ask what it was, IT came.
A large fanfare like thing was headed in their direction. Trumpets were playing and people were rejoicing.
"MAKE WAY, FOR LORD BUSH!" A man yelled. The crowd yelled the same thing back. Suddenly, from out of nowhere elephants, camels and a large army of people appeared around Sina and Britney.
" Looks like Prince Ali has gone too far…" Sina said eyeing the large camels.
" Either that or in the world Prince Ali became king of all, and Bush is his direct descendant." Britney corrected.
" Nope…it wouldn’t be Aladdin…I believe Bush is the descendant of Jaffar, either that or the parrot Iago."
" Why are we even arguing this?"
" I have not a clue." Sina stepped up to the largest elephant and yelled, " HEY! YOU! BUSH! STICK YER HEAD OUT THE WINDOW FOR A SEC!"
A head stuck its head out the window. It was Bush, and he was wearing a turban like thing on his head. " YOU DON’T DISRUPT PARADE!" He yelled. " ME WAS HAVING FUN UP HERE SEEING THE VIEW!"
" The curtains were blocking your view you idiot…" Sina said.
" YOU DON’T NOT CALL ME IDIOT!" Bush yelled. " OR YOU WILL PAY!"
" Yeah right…listen, I need help. You know of any talking trains here?" Suddenly another head stuck its head out of the window. Sina fell back with horror as he realized who it was and suddenly he felt like saying train was worse than death.
" OH YES! THE SHINKANSEN WAS THE FASTEST TRAIN IN THE WORLD! BUILT IN-" It was Mr. Knapp and he was talking…and talking, and talking and talking. Over the backdrop of his voice, Sina yelled,
" TELL ME! BUSH! NOW!"
" YOU DON’T TALK TO ME THAT WAY!"
" And it could travel at speeds up to 190 miles an hour…but it was nothing compared to the German model, that bastard Winston Churchill tried to create something like that with a stroke of his pen and failed!" Mr. Knapp continued.
" BUSH! TELL ME NOW!" Britney yelled shaking a fist and supporting Sina.
" YOU ASKED FOR IT!" Bush suddenly hopped out of the elephant roof thing and landed ahead of Sina and Britney. He rolled up his sleeves and something happened no one would have expected.
" AWSOMAAAAA POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He yelled. Bush began to undergo some sort of transformation.
" WHAT THE? A TRANSFORMER?" Britney yelled.
" GERMAN MODEL WAS A TRANSFORMER TOO! Like the Shinkansen only better, this model could even transform into a household toaster-" Mr. Knapp continued.
" Why is Bush transforming?" Sina asked himself and anyone else who was listening. " Oh…no…or better yet…WHAT is he transforming to?"
Bush completed his transformation and everyone gasped. " GEORGE BUSH!"
Sina raised an eyebrow, " Why did he transform into himself?"
" Cause I couldn’t think of anything else to transform into…"
" Stupid head." Britney said.
" WAH! BUT IN THIS MODE I HAVE POWERS! BWAH!" At that moment two large cannons appeared on Bush’s shoulder. " EAT STUPIDITY!" And massive beams of stupidity flew at Sina and Britney. Sina jumped to the left, and Britney to the right. Unfortunately, they bumped into one another. For some odd reason Sina bounced off and hit the ray of stupidity. Immediately something began to change in him,
" Sina?" Britney asked terrified of what was happening to Sina. The glow around Sina faded and for the first time Britney was glad to see Sina was still normal…for him. But her hopes where shattered when Sina yelled,
" EDUCATIONALIZE ME!"
" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Britney yelled with terror. There was an evil laughter and another sound.
" It could travel faster than 190 miles! Being the fastest train at the time…"
" Dave says its time…" Jon said. A glow came around the space around them as a door was about to open…and it did. It was an actual wooden door on hinges.
" WHAT? So cosmic is Dave and his door is this? What kind of joke is this?" Gates yelled angrily.
" Dave says the multiverse is much simpler than what YOU make it out to be. He asks us all to enter." Jon said. And with that, they all entered the wooden door and appeared on the other side. Another figure much like Dave was there, only there was something different about him. Something that Jon couldn’t quite put his finger on. Maybe it was his nametag that said Bob, or maybe it was something else.
" WAZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!" Bob yelled. Dave said nothing. "Yo! Cmon guy! Speak!" Dave still said nothing. " Ah, I see…why are they here?" Dave said nothing. " I see…and what do you hope to accomplish?" Dave said nothing. " You really think it will work?" Dave said nothing. " Well, whatever you say! Welcome people to the other part of the Multiverse, the part that no one notices because everything else is more interesting than this place." Bob said.
Jon stepped forward and said, " But being that unique must make it very interesting, does it not?" Bob’s face became distorted.
" You leave your philosophy out of this place…" Bob said.
" WHY ARE WE HERE?" Cad Man yelled angrily.
" Dave wants to show you all something." Bob replied. A third and final figure appeared and this figure was by far the oddest of them all. " SANJEE!" Bob yelled.
" Jeesam, riding a jeep in the sunny days of summerjee…DANSEE!" The third figure yelled back.
" What the hell is wrong with this guy?" Max Man asked.
" He is soooo metaphorical that he makes all and no sense at once. When you learn to pacify your thoughts you will learn how to do that." Bob said. Dave motioned for everyone to follow him and they did. As they walked away, Jon heard Bob saying to Sanjee: " What do you say we fry Dave later on?"
" The sun says eej, the jeep cannot lay an egg, but it can roll over on one side squishing jeesan." Sanjee replied.
Eight teleported to the left as fast as he could dodging Celine’s shot. With quick reflexes, Celine sensed this and immediately redirected her energy to where Eight was. The energy hit Eight and he was sent flying through the air.
" Cmon! You can do better than that Eight!" Celine yelled. " DON’T GO EASY ON ME JUST CAUSE YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH!"
Eight stopped and Celine saw something in his eyes that terrified her, but signaled the arrival of a challenge in their training. Eight’s eyes were glowing red.
" Now you shall die…YOUR HAIR!" Eight vanished and Celine spun around and blasted energy. The energy went flying towards Eight who flew up and blasted his own energy at Celine who dodged them all. Firing back, Celine hit Eight again creating smoke and dust from the collisions between her energy and Eight’s shield. The smoke cleared and Celine gasped, Eight wasn’t there. She didn’t kill him, did she? Her question was answered when a pair of hands grabbed her feet and started spinning her around.
" YOU GO SPIN SPIN!" Eight yelled joyfully.
" YOU DON’T!" Celine yelled trying to concentrate on escaping. Eight was spinning her far to fast for her to concentrate properly. Suddenly, his hands released her and the world spun around her. She fell into the water with such force that a large wave was created from her disoriented energy. Eight aimed his palms at the water and it began to spin faster and faster. As it spun, Eight sensed where Celine was and made sure the water was extremely ferocious there.
" EIGHT!" Celine yelled. " STOP!" Eight stopped and Celine flew up to where he was. Her wet face turned into a grin. With much speed, Celine’s energy filled hands lashed out at Eight hitting him hard in the chest sending him flying away. " JACK WOULD NEVER STOP IF YOU WERE IN THAT POSITION! NO MERCY!"
Eight realized his mistake and flew at her again for another round.
The others had just completed their second lap and were going for their third. "This really sucks…" Rama said as he flew.
" Yeah, but it beats doing nothing." Chrissy replied.
" Well maybe it would be better if we actually tried to do this as fast as we can. What we are doing is like asking all the contenders in a race to walk as slowly as they can. Of course none of the players will get tired, and the race will probably end in a 10 person tie…that sucks." Roddy said.
" Well then, maybe we should try." Michelle said.
" Maybe…" Adit said.
" Is that a yes?" Isaque asked.
" YOU GET OUT OF THAT GUNDAM ISAQUE!" Roddy yelled.
" What, I’m too lazy to actually fly. Besides, look at Jia." Isaque said. Everyone turned around and saw that Jia was flying, but that was only because somehow his laziness had imbalanced the flow of the universe which was now moving him forward. For every bit of laziness, there is a ton of strength it seemed.
" Well then, lets actually try!" Greg said.
" RIGHTO!" Everyone yelled. And with that, bursts of speed came from all of them. Now things were getting interesting…
In some corner of space, Sina let out an angry howl. " HOW DARE THEY BE HAPPIER THAN I! ONLY I MAY REMAIN HAPPY! EVERYONE ELSE MUST BE UNHAPPY TO DEAD! GRAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He yelled as energy crackled through him. " JAAAACK! WHERE ARE YOU????" He yelled. He had been here in nowhere for some time now just cursing and yelling and his throat was sore. " Owww… I need some lozenges." At that moment, they appeared and Sina swallowed them. " Well, no way of getting anywhere like this…I think I will fly to where I want to go." He chuckled, " And torture a few people along the way, WBAHAWHA!"
" EVAD! Slow down!" Jon yelled. The dragon slowed down slightly and Jon looked around himself. " Well, at least I am somewhere where stars exist." He smiled as he saw the stars. " Now, in regards to modifying REFMAN…hmmm, it appears to be a bit more difficult than I thought. Crap, Turing should be with me." Jon said. " No matter, I will just run his program file again creating another Turing!" He frowned when he realized that this Turing would still not ally with him. " I need to modify Turing first." Jon tapped away at the keys and clicked the run program. Beside him, a glow started to occur and when it vanished, Turing floated where he was. Only, his face looked different from before. It looked almost…evil. " Hello Turing." Jon said.
This new Turing had a different look on its face. Its eyebrows were tilted towards its nose, its eyes were @ symbols, and for some odd reason it had + for ears. Jon smiled seeing what he had created. " Turing Plus Plus, I am delighted to meet you."
" I am pleased to serve you in modifying REFMAN." Turing PP replied. This one could talk, and the voice sounded something like CATS.
" Then let us get started, shall we?"
" All your REFMAN shall be modified…"
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