A short time ago in a galaxy right here…
WAR OF CHAOS III!!!
Episode Seventeen: Three Goes Nuts
"LEFT, LEFT, LEFT RIGHT LEFT!" Eight yelled.
" We only have one left leg, and one right leg…you are asking us to hop on one leg, is that it?" Rama asked. Eight spun around on the ground and wagged a finger at Rama angrily,
" YOU DARE QUESTION ME? Besides, I did want you to hop. Hopping makes the world go round, and considering the current circumstances I cannot see why you wouldn’t want to hop." Eight replied firmly.
" Do I have to hop?" Jia asked lying on the ground.
" Yes." Celine replied for Eight. Out of sheer laziness, Jia started to hop somehow. " Yes! That’s the stuff, now let us continue with our hopping! Left, LEFT, LEFT RIGHT LEFT! TURN ABOUT! LEFT RIGHT LEFT! TURN AROUND, LEFT RIGHT LEFT! WALK AHEAD! LEFT RIGHT LEFT, TURN TO LEFT! LEFT RIGHT LEFT!" At this stage, Eight realized that somehow they were going around in circles.
" STOP THIS CELINE! I want you all to blast away the buildings in the area just to warm you up for today." Eight said.
" But aren't there people living there?" Chrissy asked. Eight rubbed his chin and nodded at Celine. They turned to the buildings and closed their eyes. Immediately, dozens of people began flying through the windows and were flown to some far away area.
" Good, now that they are out of the picture, you are free to commence." Eight said. Everyone took their positions and began blasting energy out of their hands.
" Good, aren't they?" Celine whispered to Eight.
" Yes, quite good." Eight replied bluntly.
" EIGHT!" A voice yelled. Eight looked up but couldn’t see anyone. The voice continued to yell at him, " EIGHT! THREE IS AWAKE!"
" Who is talking?" Eight yelled.
" Below you!" Eight looked down and saw that the head of a Galactian had appeared through the ground. " Eight, Three woke up and is going nuts, he is throwing chairs and tables around in the hospital!"
" I told him never to use his powers like that!" Eight yelled.
" He isn't…he is using his hands! The telepathic part of his brain was severely damages and now he is just going nuts! Please come with me!"
" I shall." Eight got up onto the mule which had appeared out of nowhere and said, " Lead the way to the hospital."
" Eight, why are you riding a mule?" Celine asked with confusion.
" At the moment, I feel I must conserve my energy." Eight said. " Besides, mules are always fun! Hey, a mule is traveling across the desert 1000 km wide. He can carry 1000 bananas on his back. At home base you have 3000 bananas and the stupid mule eats one banana every kilometer. What is the maximum number of bananas you can get across the desert." Eight asked.
" Were here." The Galactian said.
" WHAT? Was I talking for that long?" Eight asked surprised with his new surroundings.
" Yes you were…enter this way please."
Eight stepped through the hospital doors where he could sense much tension coming from all around him…
" I think I want to celebrate!" Sina yelled hopping on one leg. " LET ME BOMB SOMETHING!"
" That’s the spirit!" Bush said climbing back onto his elephant home thing.
" SINA! STOP THIS NOW!" Spears yelled shaking him furiously.
" No, you stop this now! We must cancel the treaties we have signed with people, we must tear down our rain forests and try to locate Canada on a map even though it is under our noses…oh, and uh…what the hell is a function."
The sound of a math teacher screaming was heard in the distance.
" WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" Spears yelled. " HOW THE HELL ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIND A TALKING LOCOMOTIVE NOW?"
" I did what is best, would you like to join?" Bush offered.
" NO!" Spears yelled. Sina was now standing on his head…and falling.
" Wow…I thought up to the upside down part, but I didn’t think about the falling part…stupid me. Tell me this, where is the nearest Starbucks?" Sina asked looking around.
" UP YOUR….wait, such a building of that size could not successfully fit." Spears thought for a moment before adding, " But he is stupid, how would he…OH NO!" Sina was trying to turn inside out now to find the Starbucks. " YOU IDIOT! MORON DEAD HEAD! AHHHHHH!"
" Frustrated are we?" Sina asked leaning close, " LETS EDUCATIONALIZE THE PUBLIC!"
" Lets not and say we did…" Spears added.
" YES! LETS! And while we are at it…let us start singing a jingle!" At that moment, an anvil fell from the sky and nearly hit Sina. Upon closer inspection, Britney noticed it was actually a wheel…the kind found on trains.
At that moment, the sound of something falling was heard and a familiar voice was slowly getting louder…
" shhSSHHHSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIITTTT HEAD!" A large train crashed into the ground.
" I am sorry Dave. The thought that I was no longer equipped with breaks seemed to have slipped my mind." A computerized voice said.
" JUST SHUT UP! I AM IN PAIN! Don’t you have a band aid or something here?" Jibran asked getting out of the train.
" Nope…" Bush replied, " We used our money on the defense shield thing!"
" JIBRAN?" Spears asked.
" BRITNEY?" Jibran asked.
" SINA?" Spears asked.
" SINA?" Jibran asked.
" Who are you?" Sina asked looking rather confused.
" What the? Why don’t you remember me? Jibran…I am Jibran." Jibran said.
" Hey, aren't you the little weasel who always parks in the handicapped area?" Sina asked with a familiar look on his face.
" Jibran, we have to get this train to someone we know! It is very important!" Britney said. Sina fell down.
" What is wrong with him?" Jibran asked.
" He has been stupified…he is now in the state of stupidity." Jibran grinned and began to chuckle,
" YES!!! BWAHWAHWHAH! WHICH MEANS I AM SUPERIOR TO HIM NOW! BWAHWHAHWHAHWAHAAA!" Jibran yelled.
" RUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!" A voice yelled.
" Is that Knapp?" Jibran asked.
" Yes…" Britney replied.
" KALAMARIES!!!!" Mr. Knapp yelled. Everyone looked to the horizon and saw that a large army of strange fishlike beings were somehow swimming through the air in their direction. The ground began to shake.
" WHAT THE?" Jibran yelled. " HOW THE? NO!"
" Hehe…bet I could make Fruit to Go out of them…" Sina said.
" THEY ARE FISH!" Jibran yelled.
" NO FISH THAT!" Isaque said appearing out of nowhere and vanishing.
" Fish eh? THIS IS NOT A FISH MARKET!" Sina yelled clapping joyfully.
" No…its worse…FISHVALANCH!!!!"
They walked into a dark room that was completely pitch black. Jon was used to the shade of black and his eyes adapted immediately. For Gates, Max, Cad and Turing Man it took a bit longer. Actually, because there was no light, everyone's eyes adapted to seeing…nothing. Until Dave gave the signal. Suddenly, Gates fell back, Cad Man began screaming, Max Man began laughing and Turing did nothing. Jon stared with awe.
" Dave says that what we are seeing is a map of the entire Multiverse. Our minds will adapt to the vastness of it in a few moments. Please wait." Jon said.
" NOOO!!! SOOO MUCH 3D!!! AHHHHH!!!" Cad Man yelled. Then his eye caught something pleasing, " What is that line?" Everyone looked there, Jon spoke,
" That line is the two dimensional realms, they appear as a line because they are 2D, there are many of them like this. And many are even 1D! And some according to Dave are 2.5D!" Jon said.
" How the hell does that work?" Gates asked.
" It is a strange universe, where things are soooo 2 dimensional, they appear to have a 3rd dimension!" Jon said.
" Like a slinky." Cad Man said.
" No…but the closest thing in our universe would be a slinky." Jon said. The area around them was vast and infinite. Everything looked to have its own proper place in the multiverse. The 2D realms were set aside from the 3D, and everyone noticed there were certain grid like objects, sphere like surrounding certain areas. There were an infinity of these spheres.
" What are these spheres?" Max Man asked.
" Universes separated by the barriers between them. Dave tells me he will now show us the shape of the Multiverse now."
Suddenly, the orderly area they were in began to shake. Metaphorically speaking, two hands grabbed the Multiverse, shook it, threw it into a blender and set the speed to high and finally spilt the Multiverse goo all over the cosmic kitchen. Everyone was now a mess.
" Dave says this is the state the multiverse is in now…with the barriers of space broken, everyone and everything is free to mix." There was a large Mac cursor which appeared, turned into a magnifying glass and the Multiverse was zoomed into a particular area. There were massive objects dragging stars and cosmic objects into place. Some were buildings for some reason, others were large balls of energy. " Dave says the things we are seeing are trying to set up the barrier before the arrival of something…"
Gates shrugged, " Ummm…ask Dave what percentage of the Multiverse uses Windows."
Jon turned to Dave and then back to Gates and replied, " He says the numbers are soooo incredibly small that if you heard them you would get a heart attack. He says that only a bunch of unfortunate looser universes had the misfortune of developing Windows." Gates grunted annoyingly.
" What is coming?" Max Man asked. " I mean, what is the thing everyone here is trying to prevent?"
" Them…" Jon said. A darkness came over his face.
" Sorry, hit the light switch." Cad Man said. He turned on the lights again.
" Who are they?" Gates asked.
The map zoomed out massively until the whole of the multiverse was just a small speck. Two dots, one blue, one green, were speeding towards the multiverse. They were moving at such an incredible rate, that it looked like at no time would they reach the multiverse. " What are they?"
" Dave says they are beings greater than anything we have ever seen, creatures that feast of chaos and terror, being of such enormous power that Jack seems like an insect to them." Jon replied. A shiver went down everyone's spine.
" What happens when they reach our Multiverse?" Gates asked afraid of the answer.
Jon leaned very close until his nose was almost touching Gates'. It was one of those terrifying moments when the camera zooms in on the speaking person and creates total terror with his or her words. Total terror and chaos would erupt once the words were spoken…and they were…
UNABLE TO CONTINUE! LACK OF FUNDS! LETS GO TO THE OTHERS NOW….
Jon hacked away as fast as he could through the REFMAN file while Turing (linked with him) provided the necessary information for the hackage. REFMAN was thus far modified in the slightest degree, not enough to form an extremely powerful merger strong enough to get them back together. But he would succeed.
" WHAT IS THIS SYNTAX ERROR! Everyone looks right! Why is this thing doing that?" Jon yelled.
" Such vagueness." Turing PP said.
" GRRR!" Jon yelled. He tapped away at the keyboard furiously. " Why isn't anything working in this reality? What the hell was I thinking coming here and doing whatever it was I was doing? Hey…wait a minute." Jon looked carefully at the screen and noticed something flashing.
" There are things requiring lots of memory headed our way." He looked and saw two bright points of light drawing closer and closer. He could feel their presence, it was the alternate versions of Sina and Jibran.
" YES!" Sina thought. " PEOPLE TO CRUSH!" He flew at a point in space where he sensed one being remained stationary, while another moved towards the direction of the stationary being. Soon he would be provided with some fun. " YES! BWAHWHAHAWHAHWAH!" Sina yelled. He added an extra boost of speed to his flying and headed faster and faster towards Jon.
Jibran was thinking about camels when he felt the presence of two other beings, in his area. One was ahead, and the other was flying almost parallel to him, headed towards the first object. Jibran grinned as he said, " OH YES! These energies…they are much much better than I thought. Hmmm, perhaps I do not need Jack to become total supreme lord of all that is and is not. If I could just absorb these two, my power should increase greatly." Jibran thought.
Angry versions of Cad, Max and Turing Man flew towards the last known location of Jon. They would get even with him for forcing a merger with them. They would make sure that no such event ever happened again. Revenge was exactly what they had in mind.
The focal points of massive badness headed towards the location where things would get even worse…