A short time ago in a galaxy right here…
WAR OF CHAOS III!!!
Episode Eighteen: Variety in the Timeline
" THREE!!!" Eight yelled ducking from a chair that was just flung at him. "CALM DOWN NOW!" Eight yelled getting back up.
" DON’T YOU GET IT? LOOK AT ME!" Three looked a wreck. His eyes were cupped with sleeplessness, his right eye was twitching with irritation, and the telepathic essence of him had completely vanished. His mind had suffered a lot of damage during the war, and sensing the death of the Comrads was far too much for Three to handle. For what seemed like hours he had been throwing chairs and tables everywhere scaring many.
" STOP THIS AT ONCE!" Eight yelled in his commanding demeener.
" YOU DON’T TELL ME VAT TO DO! YOU TELL ME VAT NOT TO DO AND I WILL NARROW IT DOWN MYSELF!" Three yelled throwing a vase at him. Eight ducked and the vase flew outside hitting a doctor rendering him unconscious.
" Three…I understand why you are behaving like this." Eight said calmly.
" THEN GET HIT WITH SOMETHING!" Three yelled throwing another chair. Eight ducked in time and activated his shield. " SHOWOFF! NOW I CANT DO DOO ON A STICK! LOOK AT ME! I AM A HUMAN! I CANT EVEN TALK TO YOU WITHOUT OPENING MY MOUTH!" Three tried and actually succeeded, " WHAT I MEAN IS THROUGH TELEPATHY! My brain is damaged, I don’t want to live anymore. First there were Eight. Then there were Seven, then there were two, soon there will be one, and last but not least, negative 1."
" Don’t you mean zero?" Eight corrected.
" Shut up you." Three said. He looked around and realized that there was nothing more to throw. He pointed at Eight, " MOVE TO WHERE I AM STANDING!" Eight did as he was told and Three said, " WAIT HERE PLEASE!" He ran to where Eight was standing (and there was a large rubble of broken chairs there). He picked them up and started throwing them at Eight. The objects broke against his shield and Three continued to throw more stuff. He picked up a chair and swung it backwards to get momentum and hit the doctor who was unconscious (becoming conscious for a brief moment) and then going unconscious from getting hit again. Three used the momentum to throw the chair at Eight and it too broke. Realizing the situation was hopeless Three began to cry.
" This is unfair…this is so unfair. Why are things happening the way they are? I just wanted to save the timeline, why didn’t I see this coming? Facing a tyrant throughout time, how could I expect to win? WHY DID I LET THEM DIE? Oh…wait…" Three picked up the doctor and threw him at Eight. Eight grabbed the doctor and gently placed him down. " It wasn’t your fault." Eight said in a calm tone.
" Yes it was…and you know it! One day you awake in some green cloning tube and find out that you were just a precaution, the next you are where I am, STARING AT THE STUPID WINDOW CLEANER WHO HAS BEEN GETTING ENTERTAINMENT AT MY INSANITY!" Three picked up a table and flung it outside the window hitting the window cleaner sending him crashing into a pillow truck that was parked outside. Three looked outside, "YOU SEE? COME HERE EIGHT!"
" Oh Three, don’t be like this! People die all the time and-"
Three grinned, " NO! COME HERE!" He pointed at the window cleaner who was lying comfortably on the pillows, " THEN WHY WONT HE DIE?" Three took the bed in the room and pushed it out the window crashing into the wall and taking the wall down with it. He quickly took hold of the TV set and flung it down on the man too. Soon he had access to anvil, pianos and even safes for some reason. They all crashed horribly onto the man below.
" Three…oh my goodness." Eight said shocked by the display.
" You said people die all the time…" Three said with more tears in his eyes.
" You killed that man…" At that moment, the man got out from under the rubble and casually walked away.
" AHHHAAAA!" Three yelled pointing at Eight, " LIES! HE LIVES!!! BWHAHWAHWHAWHAWAHWHAHWAHWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWWHAWHAHWAHWHAWHAWHAWHAHWAHWAHWHAWHAHWHAWAHWAHWHAWHWAHWHAW!" At that moment the man was run over by a truck. Three stopped laughing, " Ewww…" Despite the fact that the man was missing major parts of his body, he still got up and hopped away. Three commenced his laughter, " WBAHWAHWHAWHAHWHAWHAWAHWAHWAHWAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAHAHWAHWAHWAHWAHWHAWHAHWHAHAWWAHWAWHAHAH!"
Eight punched Three hard in the jaw. " I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS THREE! GET A GRIP! COMPOSE YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY!" Three burst into tears,
" THE MAN WONT DIE! WHY DID THE COMRADS HAVE TO? IT IS UNFAIR! GOD, WHY ME???" Three yelled bending down on his knees.
" BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE YOU…" A voice said from out of nowhere. Three began to shake,
" What the hell was that?" Eight looked around with the same confused look and said,
" I have no clue. Listen Three, I feel the same way you do about the deaths of the Comrads, but hope will live on. We will live on. You will live on…JUST LIKE THAT MAN WHO SIMPLY WONT DIE! Look in my eyes Three." Three did so and saw the sincerity in Eight's eyes. " You will and MUST live on. We need you for the final confrontation, powers or no powers."
" OH YEAH BULL SHIT! WHAT, AM I GONNA FLING CHAIRS AT JACK? OR PUNCH HIM TO DEATH? OR MERGE WITH THE CHAIR SO THAT WHEN I PUNCH HIM CHAIRS ARE FLUNG WITH HIM???? HUH??? HOW DO YOU PROPOSE I FIGHT NOW?" Three yelled.
Eight tapped his nose several times, " What the hell is that? If you have an itch, SCRATCH IT!" Three yelled.
" No you idiot! It is something the humans do. The point is, that you will fight in any way necessary, you will triumph. Wouldn’t it be the most glorious victory if you, Comrad Three, defeated Jack Thorne, supreme master of telepathy without any powers? Imagine the pride you will have! Imagine the glory. You have to try my friend. There is no escaping it. It is your destiny." Eight said.
" I thought you were always telling me NOT to fight." Three said.
" Yeah, well I lied. So, what do you say you join us in our training? I am training a bunch of kids. We can get punching bags for you and you can become strong that way. What do you say?" Eight asked extending his hand.
Three stared at the hand and his life flashed before his eyes for some reason. " I shall fight…and avenge the deaths of the Comrads." He looked up at the roof and yelled, "I CONTRADICT YOU! I WILL FIGHT! FIGHT TO THE BITTER END! I WILL FIGHT TO THE DEATH, EVEN IF IT KILLS ME! BWAHWHAHWAHWHA!" At that moment, a large anvil fell on Three's head. The anvil had writing on it. It said,
" Shut up down there…god is trying to watch television."
Three got up for some reason and wasn’t hurt at all. He started laughing as did Eight. The two of them began to laugh a hysterical laugh of joy.
The unconscious doctor opened his eyes and saw two people who looked very alike laughing for no reason. He looked up and yelled, " IM GOING NUTS! SOMEONE HELP ME!" An anvil fell on the man's head and on the anvil was a message,
"Help is on the way…actually I stand corrected, help is on your head…"
Also, I think it is proper to tell the reader at this point that there was a strange timewarp around the planet Earth (our planet Earth) that was causing time there to speed up. While the rest of the multiverse processed at its regular speed, Earth processed at four times the speed. Just thought you would like to know…
Britney stood defiantly against the large wave of KALAMARIES. She had her microphone in her hand and for the first time in a long time felt powerful once again. Jibran stood beside her, palms outstretched. There was nothing in his palms but he was hoping by some miracle he would unleash his powers once more.
Sina was on the ground. He was actually digging in the sand looking for a penny that he had dropped. For some reason, the value of the penny seemed more valuable than his friends at the moment.
Bush and Knapp had cowardly run away on their parade of elephants and zoo animals. It was now just Britney, Jibran and Sina versus the swarm of KALAMARIES.
Britney brought the microphone close to her mouth. " Its been a while since I last did this. And the last time I did this I got pied, and tomatoes, and watermeloned. Actually, the level of Fruit on me would have been more than the Fruit to Go Sina eats in a year! It was quite amusing."
Jibran smiled. " And the last time I did this was just a few days ago, when I vanished for some reason and awoke to find Bert staring at me. My powers were gone, but I will stand and fight because I hope…and hope makes things go round."
" OH COME ON! THAT WAS SOOOO CORNY!" A voice said from above.
" CRAM IT!" Jibran yelled. He stood facing the army as it drew closer and closer. At the same time as Britney, he took a deep breath preparing for an onslaught of KALAMARIES.
At that moment one interesting thing happened. Britney began to sing, and the KALAMARIES began to have pain in their heads. But that was not the interesting thing. What was interesting was that a large horde of camels ran from behind Jibran and collided headlong with the KALAMARIES. Jibran smiled,
" YES!!! OH HOW I HAVE WAITED FOR THIS MOMENT!" The camels ferociously tore and trampled on the KALAMARIES. The singing of Britney was causing the pain to spread. Sina suddenly stood up and yelled,
" IVE FOUND IT!" Then he sighed, " Nope…just a 20 dollar bill." Sina failed to realize that with a 20 dollar bill many pennies could have been bought, stupidity at its best of course was at work here.
" WE HAVE TO KEEP THIS UP!" Britney yelled. Jibran nodded and focused harder and harder. More and more camels appeared from out of nowhere and added to the chaos that was occurring. Jibran closed his eyes and visualized the battle. Suddenly, entire whales appeared and joined the battle. Soon thereafter, large fish appeared. And last but not least, a large army of Prefects appeared. They too rushed into the scene.
Sand and fish flew everywhere as the battle went on.
Britney smiled as she saw the pain the KALAMARIES were in when she sung. Jibran smiled at the power he now had…they both felt supreme once again…
" OH MY GOD!!!" Gates yelled screaming. He ran around in circles. Cad Man, Max Man and Turing just floated there filled with terror. Jon had just told them what would happen if they failed to stop the two creatures. Of course we were not here to hear it (probably for the best) and were not effected by the nonsense.
" So as you can see, we have to stop them at all costs." Jon said. Dave nodded.
I would now like to note, that around this area Jon and the rest are was also a timewarp causing time to speed up at four times the speed of that of the regular Multiverse.
" But how the hell do we stop them? HOW? NO! WE CANNOT! NONONONOOOO!!! WERE DOOMED!!! DOOOMED!" Bill Gates yelled running around in circles.
Dave stepped forward and said something that for some reason everyone understood. It was the first time he had said anything ever in the history of history.
" " He said.
" What did he just say?" Bill Gates asked with a twinkle in his eyes.
" Did he mean it?" Cad Man asked. Dave nodded and replied,
" " Everyone froze with joy. Especially Jon and Turing. Jon smiled and raised a fist of hope and said,
" Well then, we must do this! I didn’t know it was possible, but if it is and if it causes our chances of success to increase, WE MUST! WE MUST MODIFY REFMAN!"
Jon and EVAD and Turing PP stared at the screen as the objects flew in closer towards them. Jon was tapping furiously away at the keyboard. He had to modify REFMAN before they arrived. He simply had to. Turing was helping him to the best of his abilities and EVAD was starting to get frightened at the presence of the beings headed their way.
At this point I would like to add that this area was also in a timewarp that made things go 4 times SLOWER!!!
" CMON! Faster, faster!" Then he had an idea. " TURING! PROCEDURE CHEAPNESS!" At that moment, Turing flew into the portable computer and Jon smiled as he saw that REFMAN was very quickly being changed, from the inside.
We have now reached the 5th page in this episode. At this time I would like to answer a few questions you may have…no…sit down you idiots, because this is not an interactive story. I will answer questions I BELIEVE you have.
Firstly, you are probably wondering what the heck is with the time warps around the three locations? Well the reason is that War of Chaos is now linked with time. I took a look at the story line, and how things would develop as we got closer to the ending and at the rate certain things were going, things wouldn’t make sense. For example, I realized badness for evil Jon would occur before the arrival of Jack. That would be much bad since it is to take place after. Hence, time slows down there. In the areas time speeds up, I realized I wouldn’t get a chance to show what was happening cause badness is just a few episodes away and people wouldn’t have enough time to train and before better opponents for the MIGHTY JACK. I hope that enlightened a few things.
Second, many of you might try to sue me and say that I lied by saying Dave said something. Well he did. But the fabric of War of Chaos did not allow us to display it. You know, government cutbacks (go start a riot outside either Harris' house or Bush's because they conspired against me).
Thirdly, many of you are probably wondering what the heck is the point of Rama, Chrissy, Adit, Michelle, Graham, etc… training when they cannot get any stronger. Well, the purpose of that is that they can take up pages in War of Chaos. And also because they are all such great people that I have to recognize them…once in a while.
Fourth, many of you are wondering what has happened to those fixing the multiverse (you know, the Vortecians and the queer pyramid/Atlantis/stonehenge pain in the ass mix). Well, as we speak, they are trying to fix the multiverse. Simple as that. They are moving stars to their location and in essence cleaning up the big screw up War of Chaos caused. Simple as that…
Finally, many of you are wondering who the two beings are, when Jack will arrive, and what horrors of joy will occur when REFMAN is modified. I cannot tell you.
One major reason for this is that if I did, the Multiverse fixer upper squad would immediately move to the cause of the massive screwup to come (they forgot about the two beings headed their way). AND BESIDES! THAT WAY YOU WILL HAVE TO READ ON TO FIND OUT!!!! BWAHWHAWHAHWAHWWHAWHAHWAHWAHWAHWHAWAWHAWAHWAHWAHWAHWHAWHAHWAHWHAWHAWHAHWAHWHAWHAWHAHWAHWAHWHAWHAHWAHWHAWHAHWAHWHAWHAHWHAWHAWHAHWAHWAHWAWHAHWAHWAHWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAWHAHAHWHAWHAWHAHWAHWHAWHAHWAHW…ah…im getting lazy…VERY lazy…