A short time ago in all of space right here…
WAR OF CHAOS III.5!!!
Episode twenty-one: He's Back! Are We Prepared?hell no
Sina stuck his head outside the window and yelled, "GET A MOVE ON!"
The computerized HAL voice inside the train asked, "Dave, would you like me to execute my most commonly used function in the case of traffic jams?"
Sina replied, "YES! Do it!"
The train's hatch opened up and a rather gigantic megaphone came out. "I suggest you cover your ears Dave…" Sina, Jibran, and Spears did as they were told and moments later, it sounded. A large shockwave sound wave was flung through the nearby space, it was the loudest car horn anyone had ever heard, or had their ear blasted away by.
" UP SHUT SHITHEAD!" An alien yelled.
" You called me shithead? YOU ARE SHITHEAD!" Jibran yelled shaking a fist at the alien in the ship beside theirs.
" Cloak a in kid crazy you are you think you do who?!" The alien yelled shaking a tentacle at Jibran.
" MAKE SENSE SHITHEAD!" Jibran yelled. Sina stuck his head out the window, "Self usual his being just is he, Jibran friend stupid my excuse!" Sina said.
" KO!" The alien replied.
" Going you are where?" Sina asked.
" 88 Earth." The alien replied.
" Going are we where that’s!" Sina yelled surprised by the response. " Guys! This guy says that he too is going to our Earth! For some strange reason, everyone in the Multiverse seems to be drawn to our Earth recently!"
" HEY! Maybe it’s a gigantic black hole that is pushing everyone towards it and when they get there it will swallow them and then the black hole will get even bigger and eat even more things and it will be like the movie the 'Blob that Ate Everyone' and only it wont be a blob it will be a black hole that is pushing everyone towards it and when they get there it will swallow-" A cow fell on Jibran's head. Sina and Britney looked up.
" SHUT UP JIBBY!" A familiar voice yelled. Sina gasped,
" ADIT!? What are you doing here?"
" I'm here with Rama, Michelle, Chrissy, Roddy and Mr. Shaikh for some reason. I have no clue why, but ever since the multiverse merged, I have had this strange feeling that I should be going somewhere and I am now! I thought you were in Bangladesh with Jibran doing some elephant hunting?" Adit asked.
This was all Sina needed to realize what was happening. Clearly, this version of Adit was from a completely different reality that had merged into this one. " Umm, Adit, I am the Sina of another reality…what did your Sina say before he left for Bangladesh?"
" Something about horses…and cows stuck in someone's chimney. You remember the Clause Scandal of last Christmas? Well, that still isn't over."
" Clause Scandal?" Britney asked.
" Well, a Christmas ago, Santa Clause got involved with some drug dealing in the States and that made him do crazy things. Apparently, instead of delivering presents, he delivered people anvils…and dropped them on their heads! Anyhoo, he ran out of anvils cause Russia wouldn’t give them to him, so he went around stealing cows and horses from local farmers and dropping those. Well, several of those cows and horses fell into chimneys OK? And since then, global warming has been going down since many chimneys were covered, but with President Gates now the President of the United Provinces of Chindian Colonies, all chimneys have to be cleaned, and he selected my version of Sina and Jibran for the job." Adit finished. He stared at where Sina had been and realized he wasn’t there anymore.
" They left a few hours ago…" Michelle said. Adit lowered his head and said,
" I only talked for a few minutes! Stupid Gidley taking over the East Coast and slowing me down massively!" Adit yelled shaking a fist.
The train carrying Sina, Jibran and Spears quickly changed lanes and unfortunately for them, they moved into a slower lane…as usual.
" I NEED MASSIVE SUGAR TO MAKE A GIANT REPLICA OF THE LEANING TOWER OF STRAIGHTNESS!" Three yelled.
" ACH NO FULLEN YA?" A man yelled at him.
" I know what you are saying Dimitri, but I don’t think it works with oil!" Three replied sighing. He looked around frantically, " MUST GET SUGAR TO MAKE MODEL OF TOTAL BENT STRAIGHTNESS!" Three ran around in Russia trying to find some sugar, but all he found were Russians, those furry hats they sell, a few Secret bases and a cow that was cloning itself 5 times a second. He would keep looking, nothing would stop him…except the muffin plague!
" WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE ISNT THERE EITHER?" Eight yelled. Celine replied through the link,
" Look, Eight, hunny, dear, my loving companion…HE ISNT HERE IN GERMANY EITHER! He escaped 15 days ago! He is way ahead of us! And in his current state, god knows what he will do! He has gone mad with power…like the Albert Sweitzer version of a Hitler X-men gone bad!"
Eight sighed, "Well move on…go to Russia, I dunno! Just find him! He isnt very stable right now…you saw the message he left on the school's answering machine…" Eight transferred the message to Celine,
" GOTTA RUN! I WOULD LOVE TO STAY AND LEARN, BUT THIS CAT HAS TO FLY INTO SOME SALTY LAKE WATER AND MAKE SUGAR OUT OF IT FROM THEM! You know those cows that clone themselves…WELL, I DON’T NEED ONE ANYMORE! I GOT SUGAR! And speaking of clones, I AM A CLONE! Wouldn’t it be weird if I became COW MAN, SAVIOUR OF MILK AND CHEAP PENCIL LEADS? I would like that, but for now, sugar is what I need! Soon the world will be in my hands and I will watch it spin like a little kid in some toy store watching the spinny things and getting dizzy and falling over to land into sugar! HEHEHEHEHEEEE!"
" I GET IT EIGHT! EEEESH!" Celine yelled. " Look, we already have everyone here trying their hardest…Russia is next on the list so we will go there. I will contact you if we find him." Celine said closing the link with Eight.
Eight sighed and closed his eyes. There was a man that had been following him around all over Canada for several days with a long telephone and a chord and it seemed like the man would be useful at this time. Eight picked up the phone and dialed the Woodlands school.
" Woodlands school…how may I help you?" The secretary asked.
" This is Eight, give the phone to Mrs. Brayman please?" Eight replied.
" Is this regarding course conflicts, because at the moment we have asked the military to help us resolve them and we are trying to fix them all as best as we can."
" NO! This is regarding the students who are overseas looking for a missing crazy person." Eight yelled.
" Oh, well here she is then." There was a click and some voices came on.
" Hey Bill."
" Whats Happening?"
"Well, the school is too cheap to fill in this waiting period with some music so we gotta do a little jingle."
"Gee Bill, what a crappy system."
" Your right Dan, it does suck…now how about that jingle? And a one and a two and a four…"
"uh, you mean three Bill."
" Don’t I feel silly ehehh ehehe"
" This is Mrs. Brayman's answering machine. I am either away from the phone or have been trampled by a wave of students requesting time table corrections. Please leave your name, your number and your message after the beep and I will try to get back to you the moment that I can breathe again…thank you and have a nice day."
Eight shrugged and left his message, " Hi, Mrs. Brayman, this is Eight. Umm, I am calling to let you know that Three and the search party we sent out after him will not be able to come to school for a while, so if you can give Mr. Stuart this message:" At that moment, a red glow of anger surrounded Eight and the laws of physics failed and for some strange reason his voice became the deep dark, sinister voice of a demon's: " I DEMAND THAT YOU FIX MY SCHEDUAL HUMAN! SHOULD YOU FAIL, YOUR LUNGS WILL BE RIPPED OUT AND I WILL BE FORCED TO STICK THEM BACK INTO YOUR THROAT WHERE I WILL OPERATE ON YOU EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE SURGICAL PROCESS AND I WILL BE USING A VERY DULL RUSTY BLADE KNIFE! Oh and uh, fine job trying to fix everyone else's schedule, keep up the good work…" Eight hung up and turned to see the terrified face of the man who had just witnessed Eight turning into a demon.
" Oh for crying out loud! The laws of physics don’t apply anymore! You can turn into one too, or rather a smaller, more kitty cat like version of it…" The man stared at Eight. "Ah…leave me alone. I have a crazy person to find."
Jon, Gates and Turing, Cad and Max Man flew as fast as they could (which was actually remaining stationary on account of the beastly traffic jam). Jon was laughing slightly because of a recent encounter they had had with an alternate version of Nurdin. Although he looked the same, what was very amusing was the clothing he was wearing. Imagine a rooster wearing glasses, having many feathers but wearing Mexican clothing. Now give this rooster a very large beard, and the look of a very wise man on his face. Now add a big ball on his head connected to a large inflatable cow on his back and flying through space yelling, "And the cow jumped over the moon! The cow was fat, and so it fell, and the colonies on the moon were crushed by the burning meteorite cow! I have this joy joy happy feeling down in the cow, WHERE? Down in my cow to stay! And if Jibby doesn’t like it he can go BEEEP a horse, WHAT? GO BEEEP A HORSE!!! WHAT??? WHAT??? HUH???? JEH??? BUCK BUCK BUCK! MEOW!!! ARGH!"
" You know, I think that the version of Nurdin we just had an encounter with wasn’t our version of Nurdin." Cad Man said.
Everyone looked at Cad Man and Turing let out a beep that was the 'well how stupid are you?' beep. Cad Man grunted and Jon said,
" This traffic jam is really starting to bug the heck out of me! We decoded the entire universe, cant we just somehow get to our destination?"
Gates took out his laptop and said, " Well, we could. But that would require either removing all these people from space-time for a moment, or bringing the Earth to our current location, neither of which I suggest since there is very little memory in the multiverse right now."
Jon sighed and replied, " Well, I still don’t like this…there must be a way to regain memory!"
A ball of energy floated beside Jon. "Actually, we are working on some way of restoring the memory of the Multiverse."
" IT’S A BIG BALL OF ENERGY! RUN!" Cad Man yelled.
" I am a Vortecian." The ball replied.
" Vortecian…ah, I see. I read about you guys in REFMAN. You guys are like protectors of the Multiverse eh? So how long will this memory retaking thingy take?" Jon asked rubbing his chin.
" It may take a looooong loooong time…much longer than you have to live." The Vortecian replied.
Jon tilted his head slightly, Turing modified the code of the universe around Jon and Jon smiled and said, "I am now unaffected by old age, I will remain this age for an infinity of days!"
" Very well…nicely done, but this will still take a loooong time! Even with your code abilities, it will take the entire Multiverse a while to repair itself."
"Anything we can do to help?" Gates asked.
" Two things…one…don’t screw things up anymore than they already are. And Two…IF YOU CAN FIND OUT WHERE ALL THESE COWS ARE FALLING FROM, I WOULD GLADLY APRECIATE IT!" Jon looked up and noticed that indeed many cows were falling through space against the backdrop of the stars. It was an odd sight and Jon couldn’t help but smile.
" Well, I am going to execute a procedure soon now…" He said.
The alternate version of Jon saw that the alternate Sina, Jibran, Cad, Max and Turing man were now right in front of him. He smiled and pressed the button for the ultimate merger…
But since the space around them flows at a much slower rate, it will take some time before the merger actually takes place…
Eight was flying towards the Rockies when he suddenly became disoriented. There was a single moment of pain but it was gone in a second. Eight shook his head and took a deep breath, " Stupid USA and their pollutants…I am getting lightheaded."
Suddenly, Eight's heart skipped a beat when through his head, the loud, terrified and shrieking voice of Celine was heard, " EIGHT!!!!!!! WE FOUND THREE!" The sound of someone screaming in the background was heard.
Eight smiled, "Thank goodness." In the link, Celine screamed a little and then she quickly added, " EIGHT! YOU HAVE GOT TO COME HERE RIGHT AWAY!"
" Why dear, is the sky falling? Are we all going to die?" Eight asked sarcastically. The sound of a bone breaking was heard and a cow started screaming furiously. Eight could hear sounds of gunfire and energy blasting but he assumed that someone was having a waterfight in their backyard.
" EIGHT! ITS JACK! HE'S KICKING THE CRA-" And the message ended abruptly there.
Eight's heart stopped…it froze and for a moment no thought reached Eight's head on account of no blood. He took a deep breath and started to shake. The glow of energy surrounded his body and he made tight fists. He took several deep breaths and tried to contain himself but he couldn’t, and then, his energy exploded.
A farmer was farming on the hilltops when he saw a light. The light got brighter and brighter and within seconds, it engulfed the entire area. Suddenly, there light flew past him, and went right through the mountain blasting the top half away as if it were made of paper. " Stupid drunk kid…" the man said and continued to try and teach his cow how to do a hoe down.
" Procedure_ EARTH 88 COME TO ME NOW!" Jon said. Immediately, a large spherical object was starting to appear just ahead. It appeared and everyone gasped. On the East side of the planet, was a large crater and Jon and everyone else in the area gasped as they sensed a source of tremendous power.
Jon couldn’t even bring himself to say the cursed name. He just made fists, took a look at Cad, Max and Turing Man and yelled, " ITS MERGING TIME!" Code Warrior was formed very quickly and flew towards the area of the Earth known as Russia.
Sina shook his head with disbelief, " NONONOOO!!!" At first he had been happy to see the Earth reappear, but now that he sensed what was on the Eastern part of it, Sina was absolutely terrified.
Many people sensed the power and all across the multiverse a unified sound was heard as many Jack's had appeared in this multiverse, one for each reality. The sound was that of everyone gasping, and of Nurdin yelling, "And the cow jumped over the moon! The cow was fat, and so it fell, and the colonies on the moon were crushed by the burning meteorite cow! I have this joy joy happy feeling down in the cow, WHERE? Down in my cow to stay! And if Jibby doesn’t like it he can go BEEEP a horse, WHAT? GO BEEEP A HORSE!!! WHAT??? WHAT??? HUH???? JEH??? BUCK BUCK BUCK! MEOW!!! ARGH!"