A short time ago in all of space right here…


Episode Twenty-two: Randomly Flying Sticks Break People's Bones

Three screamed in pain. His body thrust forward as from behind him, Jack punched his spine damaging it painfully. " AHHHH!!" Three yelled. Celine and the others had tried to get through Jack's energy shield, but all attempts had failed. Three was the only person who had gotten through (probably because Jack let him) and after 5 seconds of hitting Jack in the stomach (at which point Jack noted how he was not feeling any pain what so ever), he was picked up through telekinesis, turned around and was being punched and punched.

" LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Celine yelled blasting some energy at Jack. The energy bounced off Jack's shield very quickly and Jack continued to punch Three's spine.

" Punch me in the stomach will you? Inflict no damage upon me will you? WELL TAKE THIS!" Jack laughed punching Three over and over again.

" AHHHHHHH!!!……..a little lower please….that part of my spine is completely smashed into millions of bits so I cannot feel any more pain…" Three said.

Jack nodded, " As you wish." He smiled and punched Three slightly higher, closer to the neck. "I must have misheard you…ah well." Jack said punching Three there now.

" YOU ARE A STUPID COWARD AND A BEAST!" Rama yelled at Jack.

" Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names shall never hurt me." Jack said mockingly, " Speaking of breaking bones, I have a spine to smash!" He punched Three again and again, Three could no longer scream in pain.

After several seconds, Jack stopped and cracked his knuckles. " This is like one of those toys that breaks the moment you buy it, no fun what so ever…so I'm gonna finish you off and start playing with some newer toys!" (DESPOSE OF SICK JIBBY THOUGHTS HERE!)

Jack's right hand turned into a tight fist as he said, " If I were you, I wouldn't hold my breath…it will be more painful that way when my entire hand goes through you." Jack moved his fist back and prepared to punch Three one last and final time. He brought his hand with full speed towards Three when he heard,


Eight flew towards Jack yelling loudly, " NOOOO!!" To his horror, Jack's fist hit Three, but fortunately Jack had been slightly distracted by the scream and his hand didn’t go through Three, it merely snapped his spine in half. Three was sent flying into a tree nearby and collapsed, his bones at odd angles.

Celine and everyone else rushed to him. Jack crossed his arms and yawned. " Ah yes, and now everyone will try to make the idiot's last moments of life heroic…crap heads…"

Eight knelt down before Three's body and shook Three slightly. " Eight…"Three said coughing up parts of his internal body. "There is nothing more to be said…avenge my death like Simba in the Lion King. Avenge my death like Luke for his father who wasn't really dead…avenge my death, and if you don’t, may you horribly be crushed somehow…" Three said smiling.

Eight smiled back and tears welled up in his eyes, " You wont die…you cannot die!" Eight's grip on Three's shoulders became tighter as if not wanting to let him go.

" My time has come. Just finish this bastard off…by a dying Comrad's hand…make my dying wish come true…" He coughed up his last breath (and lung) and his body went limp. There was a moment of total silence as the wind blew quietly throughout the field like Three's vanishing soul.

" Is he dead yet?" Jack asked rather rudely. Eight took a deep breath and stood up and made tight fists, his mind racing, his fury increasing. The clouds overhead started to move slightly, moving towards Eight it seemed, becoming darker and darker with each passing moment.

Celine motioned everyone to step back and everyone did, except for Nurdin who was pecking away at Three's eyes.

Code Warrior flew in through the dark clouds and noticed Sina, Jibran, Gates, Spears and a large cow had also just recently flew in. They all stared at the sight below. There was a wind blowing through the land below, Jack was standing to one side, his arms crossed, and there was a shadow getting larger around Eight. They were that of the clouds. Eight turned around to face Jack very slowly, taking very deep breaths. Sina, Code Warrior, Jibby and the rest saw Three's dead body being pecked at by Nurdin and everything became clear.

" Holy mother of all that dwells within the buttocks…" Sina said quietly.

Eight was now facing Jack, both his hands in fists. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning hit Nurdin and rain started to pour slightly. It began as a slight drizzle, but then it increased and increased much like the rage of vengeance within Eight's heart and soul.

There seemed to be music playing in the background. Some sort of choir music singing in the background as the rain started to pour heavily. The music got louder and louder and Sina and Code Warrior recognized it as that song they couldn’t find the title for…the one in the Musketeer commercial. Then everyone realized that a choir had appeared out of nowhere, and an entire orchestra with them.

The choir sung louder, the rain poured harder, and more bolts of lightning hit Nurdin. Eight gritted his teeth and his fists became tighter and tighter. His breathing became much heavier and the glow around him was complete and at full strength. He stared at Jack with extreme anger and Jack looked around before pointing to himself,

" ME?" Eight nodded bitterly, "Why must you blame me for everyone that dies around here?" Jack asked as if he had been accused of the worst crime. " You must blame me for not only the lives lost here, but all those other poor saps I killed back…Comrad One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six and especially Comrad Seven. Lets not forget Galictar and the couple million other lives I ended…pretty good for a single man holocaust wouldn’t you think?"

Eight stopped breathing and the choir music reached its climax. A single bolt of lightning struck Bert and brightened the sky and from then on, there was massive light in the sky, flashing as Eight and Jack commenced in a furious battle…

" WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" The Adit of the other dimension yelled.

" I do not know Dave…" HAL TRAIN replied.

" It's beginning." A voice said behind them. Adit looked around for a while before asking, "Who said that?"

" It is beginning…" A voice said slowly and painfully.

Adit became irritated and yelled, " WHO THE HELL SAID THAT!??!?!"

" It has begun…" The voice said…on the Earth that had just appeared, flashes of light were visible on the Eastern continent of the planet. Adit screamed out loud and kicked the ground under him. Then he heard,

" WAAAAAAAH!" And he realized who had said the beginning crap…it was a midget version of Mr. Gidley from some odd reality…the same Gidley that Adit had just kicked.

" OOPS…" Adit said.

" Shit head…" Said another version of Jibran randomly appearing.


" Aren't you all glad to see me?" Nurdin asked also randomly appearing. This Nurdin wasn’t a Rooster…he was a chicken and everyone noticed that on a nametag on his chest it said, " Nurdina."

" Wow…this is getting to crazy for me…" Chrissy said.

" Wow…wow…YOU SEE! You listen to the rap music!" A voice said. Chrissy's eyes opened wide with fear as she turned around.

" With yer hippin and yer hoppin, and yer bippin and yer boppin, so ya don’t know what da jazz is all about!" Bill Cosby said randomly appearing.

Chrissy immediately took out a large shot gun and out of panic shot the poor man down. There was a hole in his face but to everyone's horror, his face remolded itself like something out of Terminator. " My face is made out of J - E - L - L - OOOOOO!" Cosby yelled freakishly.

Chrissy exploded into random high-pitched squeals. As did Nurdina…


Everyone nodded and glows of energy appeared around them. With complete confidence in themselves because of the training they had received from Celine and Eight, they too joined the battle being joined shortly by Sina, Code Warrior and Jibran. They all flew at Jack yelling profanities at him,

" SHIT HEAD!" Jibran yelled,

" @$$ F***ER!!!!" Rama yelled.

" MAMA LIQUOR!" Adit yelled in a strange odd way.


Everyone turned and glared at Greg, " What the hell kind of insult is that???" Roddy asked angrily.

" Ummm…a really long and uhh….PAINFUL ONE! BEAT THAT!" Greg yelled laughing and flailing his arms all over the place. He failed to see Jack and Eight flying at him and they ended up causing him to spin rapidly like the Tasmanian devil.

As Jack flew, he turned around and started laughing at Eight, " SLOW SLOW SLOW! BWAHWHAH-" At that moment, a cow slammed right into Jack's face. Jack continued to fly and he crashed into a building.

" ACH BEN TULLEN!" A Russian yelled sticking his head out the window. At that moment, a red glow surrounded the building and it exploded around Jack, the bits and pieces spiraling around him orderly as if he were a kind of atom and they were the electrons.

Isaque couldn’t help but laugh at what he had just seen. He exploded into laughter and with his powerful contagious laughter, everyone else started to laugh…everyone except for Jack who was gritting his teeth and his face which now had a big cow mark on it.

" That cow you will all regret…" Jack said. He extended his hands towards the crowd and immediately millions of the building pieces flew towards everyone.

Below, Russians were in total panic. In the city it was raining horribly, flooding everywhere, dead cows were floating on top of the water, and some were making a futile attempt to swim and were being mocked by the fish. Tori was on a Russian roof along with a bunch of Russians.


" But ve cannot! It is the flooD!"The Russian said in a very Knapp like way. Tori closed her eyes and said, " The wrath of Tori will be upon us…" The Russian's eyes went blank as did the eyes of everyone else. Tori had just influenced their minds.

" Now! Use those cows as life boats! And spin the cow tails very quickly to get it to move like a propeller boat.

Nurdin appeared out of nowhere and said, " HEY! You can milk these things! Milk them in the direction of the water and like an octopus the momentum will push us all forward!" Nurdin said immediately milking one of the cows.

Everyone stared at Nurdin and Nurdin slowly stopped milking, Tori said, " Why don’t YOU milk cows…but we gotta live! SPIN TAILS EVERYONE!" And the many Russians started spinning the cow tails acting like propellers and getting them away from the massive battle up ahead.

" PROCEDURE UNZIP!" Code Warrior yelled flying through the air at Jack. At that moment, lightning struck him and Code Warrior became a huge flying sword, his power and size increasing dramatically. " Kinda cool no? A little something Dave taught me." Flying at Jack quickly, Code Warrior slashed at Jack and the moment before his sharp blade tip hit Jack, Jack grabbed the tip with incredible strength and speed (refer to the picture to get a glimpse of this NONO BADNESS!) Jack smiled and tossed Code Warrior aside. This gave Eight and Celine enough time to rush at Jack, blasting all they had at him.

Jibran was starting to use his new powers and was summoning an army of flying Prefects and monkeys into the air and tossing them at Jack who blasted them all away quickly.

The cosmic battle taking place began hogging up some of the Multiverses few remaining resources…the cosmic ballet struggled to keep itself from crashing and creating a large hole in the stage of space and time…

As the battle went on creating loud noise (due to energy blasting, lightning bolting, yelling, punching and tossing cows at Jack), and also due to the fact that the choir was still singing (on a floating cow now moving away), no one was able to hear the quiet voice of one small child who had just appeared on a rooftop.

She was a young child, about five or six and had still not seen much violence in her life. She had no idea what had just happened to her or why things were happening this way. There was a feeling of darkness within her, a feeling that perhaps she wasn’t in "Kansas" anymore. She had no pet dog, no red slippers. Just a rather futuristic child like outfit that was customary for her to wear at school.

Nothing she was seeing or sensing made much sense to her, but she said, looking up at Jack, in a quiet innocent but quite scared voice: " Daddy?"