A short time ago in all of space right here…


Episode Twenty Seven: Explosive Anger (or the story of how the moon was blown to smithereens)

"Bets here, make yer bets here! Are we all doomed or not! Odds of us survivin are 100000000000000000 to 1…make yer bets here!" the man said walking around the Woodlands School trying to make a fortune with his last moments of life.

" You want a bet?" Chrissy yelled. "HERES A BET!" She kicked the guy in the crotch and yelled, "WERE NOT DOOMED YET!" At that moment, a reverend ran by in a frenzy with eyes wide open with terror yelling:


Tori frowned and said: "Death…what a bitch…"

"BRING HIM BACK!!! BACK!!! DAMN YOU JACK! BRING HIM BAAAAAAAACK!!!" Celine shrieked with fury. Celine flew at Jack as fast as she could, trails of tears streaking behind her. Nothing mattered anymore, not Jack, the planet or herself. The only thing that mattered was vengeance and she would get it. Flying at Jack, she fired a mass array of energy beams at him.

Jack dodged them all and Celine flew to punch him. She got him in the jaw and he floated back several meters. Jack moved his jaw around a bit and said, "Wow, first time a girl punched like a man…SHEMALE!!!!"

Celine’s face turned red with fury and she screamed out loud. Flying up into the air, she blasted several balls of energy at Jack, each with ¼ of the energy from her massive beast ball launched moments earlier. They hit the ground, causing Mt. Everest to loose its rank as the highest mountain and gaining the rank of FLATTEST LEVEL ON EARTH.

Celine breathed very heavily as she tried to keep her concentration intact, but found that she couldn’t. Eight had just died and her life had slipped away. Jack flew up behind her and she spun around and kicked him hard in the face sending him flying towards the ground. Giving him no chance, Celine flew down with Jack and punched him rapidly in the gut until the two of them crashed hard into the ground.

Celine flew out of the area as fast as she could and launched another array of energy missiles at Jack, hitting him hard on the ground, causing several other craters to be made. Somewhere below, a man yelled,

" LOUSY TEENAGERS VANDALIZING MY PROPERTY!" Celine aimed her palms at the man and flung him aside causing him to land on a couch that just randomly appeared.

Celine flew towards the crater and found that Jack was gone. She took a deep breath and yelled out, "COME OUT YOU COWARDLY STUPID MAN!" Suddenly, she felt a pain in her side and she realized she was falling.

" HEY! I may be cowardly and stupid…but I am certainly not a…wait a second…what was that last thing you said?" Jack asked with confusion.

" STOP IT! BRING HIM BACK!" Celine yelled. Jack watched as she flew up at him and suddenly disappeared.

" What?" Jack yelled with surprise. He spun around and the last thing he saw were Celine’s fists both going at his face. They hit his face hard and Jack flew back. Suddenly, he felt pains all over his body as Celine kicked, punched, blasted and mutilated him mercilessly, her eyes red from the crying.

" This is total nonesense!" Jack yelled. He blocked Celine’s hands and squeezed very hard. Celine tried to escape from Jack’s grin but found that suddenly she was trapped. Her thoughts vanished as she heard a loud crack and as her hands flopped down her sides, both crushed horribly. " I’d like to see you play the piano like that bitch!" Jack yelled hitting Celine in the face.

As she fell, she did something very impressive. Reversing her momentum, Celine flew back up feetfirst doing massive quick bicycle kicks. They hit Jack and he fell back several meters. This continued and Jack finally grabbed a hold of Celine’s feet, her hair and flew down very fast throwing her at the ground with great force. Celine landed hard on the ground, thudding loudly.

" KEEP IT QUIET UP THERE!" A voice said from under the ground as Celine hit the ground. She lay on the ground unable to move, full of hate. Jack floated to the ground and looked at her,

" Pitiful…" He said bitterly and he kicked Celine hard in the face. Celine fell back, her face bleeding from the impact.

" It can’t end like this…" Celine said to herself. She lay on the ground, her whole body in pain, but her mind still motivated by vengeance. Jack walked up to her body very slowly with a smile on his face. Celine closed her eyes and focused on the task at hand. Jack walked closer and closer until his boots were right by her face.

" Too bad you sucked so much…I wanted a bigger challenge…" Jack said.

Eight could sense Celine’s life force dropping rapidly within his mind. Here he was, trapped within the moon, unable to help her. All he could do was sense her pain, and she didn’t even know that he was alive. Eight continued blasting energy at the walls around him trying to make a hole of the moon in hopes of saving Celine.

With each passing moment, Eight felt Celine becoming filled with more and more pain. Eight’s breathing was very heavy as he fired as much energy as he could in the enclosed area without hurting himself. "I must get to her." Eight thought…he continued trying to make a hole.

" Please proceed to the nearest heaven\hell conjunction." A woman’s voice said. Sina looked around rather uncomfortably. Everyone was there, either missing a limb, or many limbs, or just being a walking pile of ash. Sina looked at his chest and found there was a gaping hole within it.

" OH! This is attractive!" Sina said bitterly.

" Shut up…" Nurdin said. Sina looked below and saw a pile of feathers, ash and glasses somehow floating past him. "At least you have some form of intact body."

" HEY! Where the hell are we going?" Ryan yelled out, his head severed from the rest of his body.

" Please refrain from using the word hell in this place. Since you may actually end up going there, we suggest you try and not encourage us to send your these…" the woman’s voice said.

" WHERE THE HELL IS THAT VOICE COMING FROM?" Adit yelled out loud. Suddenly, a large hole opened up in the ground and Adit fell through. Before the hole closed, Sina, Jibran, Roddy and everyone else saw the colour of red there. It was hell…

" Well we cant just leave him there!" Rama said. " We gotta save him!"

" Please do not attempt to save anyone as to saving anyone could actually get you a bad place in hell…" The voice said again.

" SHUT UP WOMAN!" Rama yelled shaking a fist. At that moment, a large arm appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Rama throwing him inside another randomly appearing hole.

Sina noticed two bright lights appearing somewhere up ahead and he gasped as he saw Britney Spears and Bill Gates floating higher and higher to calm happy choir music.

" HEY! HOW DID THEY MAKE IT INTO HEAVEN?" Sina yelled running after the light.

Gates laughed evilly and said, "We have wealth…we bribed ourselves in! HAVE FUN IN LINE!!! HAHAHAHAH!" Britney started to laugh and they both vanished up in the sky with the happy choir vanishing behind them.

" HEY!" Jibran yelled running after the light, "LET ME IN! TRAITORS! HEY GOD, I CAN SING AMAZING GRACE! LET ME INTO HEAVEN!" At that moment, Jibran started to sing,

" Amazing grace…how sveet the sund-" before he could finish, the woman’s voice said,

" Please refrain from singing if you sound as if a frog crawled down your throat and started a rusting chainsaw whore colony down there before dying…" Jibran hung his head.

At that moment, several voices were heard getting louder:

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Four thuds were heard and Sina turned to see Jon, Cad, Max and Turing Man standing up.


" Well the map said we had to go that way…" Cad Man said sadly.


A beeping noise was heard and Jon heard to his horror, "The request you have made, death, is not in service as to the fact that you are already dead. Please restate your request and God will consider it."

" I WANT MY OLD CLOTHES BACK! PLEASE!" Jon yelled. At that moment, a large bucket of black paint appeared out of nowhere and spilled its contents onto Jon, colouring him black. " Much better…" Jon said calmly. "So where are we? Whats with the line up?"

" The lineup you are currently in is a line which all dead people must go through. You will eventually reach the end of the line where you will be chosen to sent to either heaven or hell…at this time, since many people have recently died, we ask that you please remain patient as we process all of your lives. In the meantime, please fill out the forms that are being passed out." The woman’s voice said.

" Hey, she sounds hot…" Jibran said,

" IDIOT CHILD! IT’S THE BELL CANADA WOMAN! SAME VOICE!" Jon yelled hitting Jibran over the head. At that moment, application forms appeared in their hands with pens beside them.

" Question 1…name…" Sina read out loud. Everyone filled in their names and Sina looked to the next question that made him laugh, "Cause of death…I THINK ITS PRETTY OBVIOUS!" Sina yelled pointing to the large hole in his chest.

" Hey, what happened to you?" A voice said beside him. Sina turned around to see a man with the same problem, a large hole in his chest.

" A super powerful being flew through me…same happen to you?" Sina asked.

" Naw…I fell asleep under a meat slicer…you know, the ones used to make the large circle shapes?" The man replied.

" Uh…little help here…I am a pile of feathers, how do I fill in the form?" Nurdin asked irritatedly.

The woman’s voice spoke once more: " If you are unable to fill out the form, kindly scream at the top of your lungs so we can send a helper to serve you."

At that moment, almost all of the area started to scream on account of the many people with missing limbs. The woman’s voice replied, "We are sorry, all our helpers are currently busy…please continue screaming until we reach you…if at any time you feel the need to skip the process, kindly swear and we shall gladly send you to hell."

" Eh, the line doesn’t look too long…" Jon said. Unaware of the fact that the line up was very long, and that the guy at the application center didn’t speak any language, and was deaf, and the fact that he was old and slow, and the fact that the computer systems were down, and the fact that the people without limbs had to be served, and the fact that no one here knew how to serve properly, and the fact that both Satan and God were arguing over where the heck to send that idiot bozo the Clown, Jon didn’t realize that he would be waiting here for a looooooooooong time.

" Hot dogs! Get yer hot dogs here!" A man said walking by selling hot dogs. He looked almost normal and Roddy asked,

" How did you die?"

The man smiled and replied, "I ate the very hot dogs I was selling…HOT DOGS! GET YER HOT DOGS HERE!" At that moment, a large TV screen appeared showing Celine on the ground and Jack walking closer to her.

" To shorten the wait, we have provided live coverage of your planet’s destruction, we hope you enjoy the program…" The voice said. Everyone’s eyes were drawn to the television as a voice yelled,


Jibran stepped up and stupidly said, "3000 on Jibran…"

Celine waited until Jack was just about to kick her again and she rolled to one side, kicked herself up, concentrated hard on Jack’s area, and caused the ground to literally eat him up. Jack fell inside the ground and Celine closed her eyes and tried as hard as she could to crush him. A bright light appeared from within the mountain and Jack blasted his way out, "Nice massage…" Jack mocked. He kicked her hard in the chin, sending her crashing into the ground. Jack made fists, and his smiling face turned into that of determination, "You are getting on my nerves insect…"

Walking closer and closer, he kicked Celine hard again. She fell back hard, landing on all fours, struggling to breathe. Her energy shield started to flicker and Celine knew that she only had moments left to live. She could feel the ground shake as Jack walked closer and closer to her. As he stood above her, Celine felt completely helpless. The very notion disgusted her so much that the moment Jack began to laugh, Celine punched him hard in the gut…again…and again and again and again, releasing every last ounce of strength she had. She then collapsed completely, her shield vanishing.

Jack was caught off guard but he quickly composed himself. He pointed a finger at Celine and picked her up using telekinesis. "Baby, death wont hurt a bit…until I blast a hole through you!" Then Jack exploded into evil laughter as he grabbed her by the neck. It was at this moment that Celine caught a glance at Jack’s eyes and saw to her horror that they didn’t look right. They were almost blurry and bright red, as if Jack’s soul wasn’t in his body right now, a kind of creepy sensation for Celine…she had only seen this once before…in Eight, when he completely snapped over the loss of Tricia (whom Eight thought was on their side at first) when she was killed by Comrad. At that moment, Celine realized that there must have been some external force acting upon Jack. Her final thoughts were interrupted abruptly and Celine felt a sudden rush of pain. There was no more pain after that and then she fell…

Her body fell to the ground slowly, Celine’s eyes open, seeing Jack at odd angles as her life flashed before her. As if every sound around her was amplified, Celine felt she could hear a heartbeat, not Jacks, not her own, but Eight’s. Her lips parted and curved into an innocent smile, and then the thud was made engulfing Celine’s mind, the last sound she heard, her own death. Celine’s eyes became empty and soulless…

All over the multiverse, many heartbeats were skipped. All of them were Eight’s as many versions of Eight sensed Celine’s life vanish forever. At that moment, there existed a flame, that became brighter and brighter until it engulfed all of Eight’s mind and soul…and then it continued to explode.

The moon exploded sending pieces of moon everywhere. At this same instant, hundreds of other moons exploded as well as the many Eight’s released their anger completely. Their eyes went completely red and their soul vanished completely. Flying towards Jack, they all screamed at the same time in a unison of total fury and anger, wiping out all other sounds that could previously be heard.

The sound of total anger was heard all throughout the multiverse as everyone watched Eight fly towards Jack faster than he had done so…a crazy lust for Jack’s blood in his eyes…

(no, he didn’t turn into a vampire…)