A short time ago in all of space right here…


Episode Thirty: The Battle for Nothingness


            “ AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!” Jack yelled flying towards Lord Chovas. The big lard ass (as Jack called it) floated with the same grin on its face as before. Jack lunged at him and with all of his speed and strength started to punch the coded being. Three voices responded making the Lord sound like a schizophrenic that wasn’t hallucinating.

            “ You foolish attempts will fail…as long as there exists memory in the universe I will live!” He started swinging his code blades around and Jack just barely dodged having his head severed completely. He closed his eyes and took out both of his energy blades. Energy started to flow from his hands to the handle lighting up the blades like two light sabres.

            “If this is the game you wish to play, then I intend to win it like this…” Jack said bitterly. He lunged at Lord Chovas again and the two of them engaged in a very high speed and intense battle. Around them there was a kind of tranquillity. By tranquillity I mean sheer chaos.

            People flying here and there, flickering people after them, balls of energy spewing back and fourth, energy beams colliding, people being zapped, fried, toasted and sent to virtual nothingness. It had been this way since the portal opened up spilling thousands upon millions of Dave like creatures on one mission, to destroy the Multiverse. Within all of this chaos there was only one multiversal constant that had not completely lost his mind…John Trenmill.

            He stared with horror and tried his best not to add to the chaos. He flew around trying to stop it, Cad Man by his side as the two of them tried to calm things down.

            “ Cad Man! You must stop the chaos in any way you can! If this continues, when Stephanie and Steve arrive we will all be seriously screwed!” John said desperately.

            Cad Man made a two-dimensional fist, looked up at the sky, contacted his other universe counterparts and started to glow. John was caught by surprise and was very curious to see what was happening.

            Cad Men from all over the multiverse started to speak in one unified voice: “000110001111111000 01110 101001!” They all chanted. “11100 01 0110 1000 1011001 01010111111 01010.”

            “ Woah, its some sort of computerised chant…” John said.

            Jon Scotts from all different realities started to hear the voice and suddenly they began to sing the chant as well. As did the many Turing Men and soon followed by the Max Men.

            Throughout the chaos, beams of light ascended upon one focal point in space as every single Jon, Turing, Max and Cad Men chanted something computerly holy. If god had a modem, this is what it sounded like upon connecting to the internet. The Low Panter combination of Atlantis, the Stonehenge and the other mysteries of the globe joined in on the chant. Clearly there was something greater happening here than anyone could imagine. It was not will, it was instinct…some sort of constant was occurring throughout the Multiverse, and it was going to be great…the choir singing the tune of a doomed Multiverse started to chant as well, making it sound greater than any mass of choir or any number of Borg drones combined. It was awesome.

            The only coded being not effected was Lord Chovas who was attacking Jack with all of his might in an attempt to absorb Jack. Jack was slightly faster, but Chovas had greater skill in terms of code. As Jack rammed the two of his blades against Chovas’, he had the sensation that something even greater was about to dawn on him.

            “Eight…” Jack said silently through the link. Suddenly, Jack’s mind was shattered as three trillion Eight’s responded,

            “ What is it Jack?” Jack had forgotten about the Multiversal barriers being broken and he was now slightly dizzy. Chovas took the opportunity to take the upper hand and swung the blades out of Jack’s hand leaving him almost defenceless.

            “ NO!” Jack yelled. He flew at Chovas and punched him repeatedly in the gut screaming profanities about Tylenol and how it didn’t work. His arms had become beams of energy, lashing and attacking Chovas. With one mighty punch, Jack unleashed all of his fury at Chovas and Chovas floated in the middle of all the chaos bent over. Jack was breathing heavily from all the punching, but was more determined than ever.

            Suddenly, without warning, Chovas looked up at stared at Jack with a grin that was the second scariest grin he had ever seen (the first being the grin Stephanie and Steve gave him before they killed off one of his dear friends). Suddenly, Chovas’ blades were heading right at Jack’s eye and with very quick reflexes, Jack grabbed the two blades as hard as he could, mere millimetres from his eyes.

            Suddenly there was a wave of energy unleashed from their area as the two of them released energy to overpower the other. Jack gritted his teeth and started to feel his mind slipping. Chovas continued to grin like he had before…a grin much like Turing Man’s only evil, with sharper teeth and an impression of death imprinted on it. Either Jack would now be defeated, or he would survive for moments longer.

            “ I WILL NOT DIE!” Jack yelled releasing a beam of energy from his chest hitting Chovas and sending him flying. Jack was breathing very heavily and he heard Tricia’s voice within her mind,

            “ Jack…are you alright? Your energy levels are dropping rapidly…you must take some time out or you will blow your brain…”

            Jack replied, “I don’t care…this battle must end and I intend on ending it NOW!” Jack aimed his palms at Chovas and gritted his teeth again, “THIS IS FOR THINKING YOU ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN I AM! DIIIIEEEE!” Jack unleashed a beam of focused energy which hit Chovas square in the body, and killed off several dozen Dave rebels in the process. A bright explosion filled the space and Jack felt the world around him flicker.

            “ Warning…crystaline energy levels reaching maximum tollerance.” Jack heard the computer inside his mind say. He made fists and yelled with a great ferocity:

            “ Continue operations as normal!” He then opened his link to his version of Eight and said, “Eight…I can feel their presence…” He said calmly.

            Eight replied, “I cannot Jack, I am not sure what I am supposed to be sensing…there’s total chaos here! I am getting mixed signals…” Eight replied as he blasted away several dozen Dave rebels.

            Jack opened another link with Tricia who immediately said, “I know Jack…they are coming…they’re presence is increasing.”

            Suddenly, Jack felt a pain in his back. It was Chovas launching another assault at him. Jack was caught completely off guard and crashed into an asteroid. Chovas powered up and launched a destroy procedure at Jack. Moments before it hit, Jack teleported out of the way and watched with horror as the entire asteroid was destroyed.

            “ More powerful than I thought…I must end this quickly…” Jack said. He closed his eyes and focused on the universe around him, shattered and thrown into chaos. When the time was right, he lunged once again at Chovas and started punching him rapidly again. He felt himself getting light headed, but ignored all of the pain using every single technique he knew. Chovas was now slightly faster than Jack was and was blocking all of the punches as quickly as Jack was throwing them.

            “ JACK!” Tricia yelled sending Jack’s energy readings drop rapidly. She knew his attitude, she knew how stubborn Jack was…the only thing that would get him to stop fighting would be death itself, and she couldn’t let that happen, not now…not ever. Tricia flew towards Jack’s location and watched with horror as the next set of event unravelled. She watched as Chovas suddenly blocked both of Jack’s fists and then saw as Chovas kicked Jack in the face hard.

            The next moment brought back some horrible memories within both Tricia and Jack. Chovas’ blades moves away from Jack’s arms and before Jack could block, passed by Jack’s other eye leaving a gruesome scar on his other eye. Jack grabbed his eye in pain and let out a painful cry.

            “ NOOOO!” Tricia yelled. She flew in and started attacking Chovas. She was able to hold him off for a while. Jack floated in space, curled up inside a pall of pain, holding his eye as the universe around him became slightly red on account of bleeding. Then as if something within his mind snapped, Jack turned into a vicious savage, much like the day Galictar cowardly struck Jack’s other eye.

            “ AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!” Jack yelled. The glow around his shield became almost completely unbearable as Jack began to concentrate on every bit of compatible matter around him. Tricia watched as for the second time in Jack’s life, he had snapped unleashing his true potential. It was something Tricia had witnessed in the training chambers against impossible odds, it was something she saw Jack do against the first battle with Stephanie and Steve, it was the same as when he unleashed his fury on his own people when Galictar slashed his eye leaving a scar forever imprinted on his face. She almost wished Chovas didn’t push Jack over the edge…


            “ What is happening?” A maniacal voice asked.

            “ Oh for crying out loud…those mortals are trying to lessen the chaos we have unleashed.” A second voice, female, replied.

            The first started to laugh and said: “Hey, Steph, take a look at this…its that insolent human Jack. Hey! This should be interesting…looks like he is having a spasm again!”

            “ HEEHEEE! Remember when he tried to take us on a few years ago…my oh my…that was fun! Then again, it is a shame he didn’t die…but now its time to finish the job I guess…”

            “ Right…but first, we must torture him like we did before…” The two beings erupted into a kind of devious laughter, that echoed in the space they were in.


            Commander Jibran stood at his post. In recent events, he had seen lots of universes merge into his own, but nevertheless he knew they were no match for the Earth Union, a powerful organisation that had taken over half of the galaxy in their universe. They had powerful fleets of ships, and a population spanning 13 trillion. With their mighty empire constantly keeping on top of things, it was almost welcome that enemies challenged them.         

            “ Commander, the fleet is responding…they have driven off the Dave rebels.” A voice on the intercom said.

            “ Very good Luetenant Shithead 5343. I am pleased by your ability to state the obvious! Now, tell me what our next objective is.” Jibran replied.

            “ The Macintosh high council wishes us to help the other universes, but the Microsoft council bids us not to…the decision is all you’re my liege.”  The shithead lieutenant said.

            “ Naw, I doubt we will be helping them…I want to see them try and fight for themselves for once. Set coordinates back home-“ Suddenly the ship began to rock. “SHITHEAD! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT ALL THIS ROCKING IS!”



            At that moment, several thousand ships roughly the size of the continent of Australia each flew directly at the two beings.

            Stephanie and Steve floated in space, their arms crossed and proud. They had a smirk on their faces as Stephanie said, “I dunno, first group of losers we are attacking today. These are supposedly the mightiest human empire in the known Multiverse. Shall it be quick or long and painful?” Stephanie asked.

            Steve laughed and said, “ They’re all going to die anyway, and besides, I want to make the squirm…but just to test our abilities, lets just see what percentage of their fleet we can destroy. Any predictions?”

            Stephanie smiled and said, “I bet we could get their entire fleet in a single shot…” They extended their palms at the oncoming fleet and released a small fraction of their energy.

            The entire Multiverse lit up as their energy destroyed the massive fleet. Jibran stared on the bridge of the flagship and his jaw dropped open as he saw the beam of white energy flew in his direction. He had never felt fear before in his whole life, but this was the first time he was feeling it and it caused him to crawl under the chair and completely cower.

            The white beam of energy flew through space like a destructive phoenix, destroying the entire fleet, claiming several billion lives. But the beam continued and destroyed everything in it’s path. The people of the Earth Union stared at what was now the brightest object in their day sky. It was brighter than the sun and at first, the populous was blinded. Then the owls of the planet starting hooting madly as the entire planet went from night to day in a single second. Solar panels exploded on account of being overwhelmed and even the blind became blinder. The last sound everyone on the planet heard was a loud rushing noise, like a loud cosmic stomach grumbling. The sound deafened everyone and then everything went dark as the planet was blown away along with the half of the galaxy the human’s occupied.

            “ Awww shit…I guessed wrong.” Stephanie laughed. “We could kill more…we gotta be careful now with our abilities. We wouldn’t want to blow them all to hell and waste the fun!”

            “ Agreed…lets just see how much damage we can do to this universe before we leave on for the next one…” Steve said. He aimed his palms in different directions and his eyes began to glow, a red glow of sheer power as beams of energy escaped his hands, destroying entire solar systems. He laughed out loud, a maniacal laughter that sounded like a thousand hyenas laughing on superficial pumped steroids amplified on several thousand megaphones. “ HAHAHAH!!! DIE DIE DIE!!! WHEEEEEAAAAHAHHAHAHHHHHHAAAA!” The two beings laughed joyfully watching the destruction unfold.


            Cad Man started to fall to his feet, John asked, “What’s wrong?”

            “ Something…is…draining all of the Multiverse’s memory…I cant…” And then Cad Man started to scream. At first John thought it was Stephanie and Steve, but then he gasped when he saw the energy travelling to one point in space…towards Jack. The area around Jack became the brightest object in the visible sky as Jack  absorbed all of the energy that was going through the universe. All the coded energy flew at him, became one with him powering him up to full strength once again, and passing him over the edge of powerfulness and into godliness. John gasped as suddenly he saw several dozen people flicker in and out of existence…they all looked like different versions of him, only at different ages. He stared wide eyed and said, “Crap…the timelines are starting to collapse…”

            The beams of order stopped and everyone who had been chanting felt a little dizzy. Jon turned to Sina and said, “Jack is absorbing most of our energy…we cannot bring order to the chaos…”

            Jack floated in space…his eyes glowing not of red…but of white. His pupils had completely vanished as he became a being of ultimate power. It was a greater sensation than he had ever felt before in his life and he smiled an evil smile as he said, “Hey, lardass! I dare you to try and lay a single atom of your stupid merger on me…” Jack placed his hands on his back and said, “I will fight you without my hands.”

            “ YOU WILL FAIL JACK THORNE!” Chovas yelled out and within a single moment, Chovas ran his “Use all available memory” procedure. He began to glow with the same intensity as Jack. The two of them floated in space and stared at one another, wanting to test one another to the extreme.


            Throughout all of space, the chaos increased exponentially. All over the Multiverse, people struggled to fight off the Dave rebels who outnumbered the people of the Multiverse nearly 400 to 1. For the first time ever since the Big Bang, the total vacuum of space had sound. It was not a pleasant sound, but a loud uproar that makes no coherent sense. The only sense it made was that it was chaotic. People of different Multiverses united to stop a common threat, and unknown to them, they were powering an even larger threat……but the war went on…