1X12 FIRE

"The time to hesitate is through
No time to wallow in the mire
Try now we can only lose
And our love become a funeral pyre
Come on baby, light my fire"
The Doors

"Fire is the devil, hiding like a coward in the smoke."
Log Lady in Twin Peaks

"I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me...
So I lit a fire, wasn't it good
Norwegian Wood"
Lennon/McCartney

"I don't mean to be insensitive, but I really hate that chick."
She's got Issues by The Offspring

"I'm tempted to call her something that rhymes with 'bitch'!"
Gypsy MST3K in Bloodlust

SYNOPSIS

ROSHAM, ENGLAND
WASHINGTON DC
BOSTON
Cecil L'Ively, a worker for the household staff of a member of Parliament, burns him to death in front of his family. A Scotland Yard detective, Mulder's ex-love from his days at Oxford, Phoebe Green, comes to America to protect another Parliament member, Lord Marsden and his family. The arsonist finagles his way into their household staff; this time, he targets their children. Mulder works with Green, despite his pyrophobia, while Scully does detective work on her own to figure out who the arsonist is.

SCULLYVISION

Sparks fly in Fire, only between Phoebe and Scully. In this episode, we're treated to another visitor from Mulder's past. Now, his now dead friend, Jerry, may have been a little irritating, but his former lover, Phoebe Green, is a full fledged heat rash. She takes the cake, lit candles and all. Mulder and Scully are returning to his car fresh from an appearance in court. Wonder what that was about, it had to be more interesting than this episode. It's a carefree time in their partnership, as Mulder tells a joke about why they don't have to appear in court often in their line on work because, "aliens and mutants don't usually press charges", and Scully actually laughs. They find his car unlocked, and wonder why, Mulder was sure he locked it. Scully jokes back, "Must be an X File."

They've settled into a nice, easy friendship. Too bad it's going to be tested. No, not by worms that make their hosts homicidal. This time challenge is much more extreme, and she goes by the name of Phoebe Green. Since Scully is a non-factor until later in this episode, let's tear Phoebe apart, and we won't even mention the quality of the scenery chewing actress. She is really one to keep your eye on, and if she keeps up her high jinx, hopefully she'll be in jail one day. A simple walk to Mulder to say hi with a smile would be sufficient, but no. Not for Phoebe. She stalks him by finding out where he is, breaks into his car to leave an audiotape, that said tape contains the long, drawn out detail of a car bomb explosion case in England, only to give a rise to Mulder and whoever he may be with while listening, then rips open his door to stick her mug in his face to say, "Scare you?" We get a taste of how Mulder felt about the woman when he was listening to the tape and recognized the voice right away, looked around expectantly for her. Mulder leaves Scully in the car, shuts the door so Scully can't hear, to talk to the woman. When Scully gets out of her side, because she certainly wasn't going to be invited to the party, she sees Phoebe planting a misplaced kiss on Mulder in public, even though we'll find out that she's the one who broke his heart. Yep. Good introduction for this witch.

Scully's reaction of just hearing a voice, getting no explanation for the scare or the woman, then seeing Green and Mulder kiss was nice. Very nice. Scully's a wonderful character, so classy. She only hikes her eyebrows in surprise that Mulder's actually kissed a woman before and turns away to give them privacy, something Phoebe would never think to do. In fact, when they notice her and unclench, Scully sweetly says, "Hi," to which, FullOfHerselfPhoebe whispers to Mulder, "She hates me." Just who's the monster in this episode?

They go to the X Files office for Phoebe to explain the case she needs help on, it's not even the car bomb case that she explained on the tape! What was that all about then? And wonder who got to sit in the front seat with Mulder on the ride back to the office.

Phoebe doesn't talk to Scully directly at all in the episode, until she's able to dismiss her when Scully was sure she saw Cecil in the lobby before the fire toward the end, unless it's to breezily say goodbye. Just who hates who?

Scully is great in her teasing mode when Mulder mentions extending professional courtesy to Phoebe and Scully responds, "Is that what you were extending?"

Mulder and Phoebe work together, why Scully wasn't invited along can only be classified as Mulder not wanting her around his woman. During a meeting with Green, Mulder and an arson specialist, Scully walks in, sees they're busy and lingers by the doorway, uncomfortable, like she doesn't belong.

Only when Mulder confides in Scully that he's terrified of fire (for a pretty silly reason of having spent the night in a burned out building to keep looters away from the burned out building), one wonders again why Phoebe would have brought this particular case to Mulder in the first place. Just so Chris Carter can make sexual parallels between 'fire' and 'hot sex' in an episode?

One wonders at this point, from what we know of Phoebe and her ruthlessness, why it took Mulder ten years to finally get over her. Then we find out that she was the one who slept around on Mulder. When Mulder throws out a valid line, expressing his hurt, Phoebe doesn't apologize (probably never did), she only puts on her little girl hurt face and then quickly reminds him of a night she spent with him on a dead author's tombstone. Smooth. We'll never think of poor Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in the same way again.

Now comes Scully. While Mulder is reliving his sexual past with the monster, I mean, Inspector, Scully is doing good old fashioned detective work that would make Sherlock proud. She does the grudge work of going through files, talks to the arsonist specialist, immigration, produces a profile of the arsonist, that's dead-on correct. During Scully's magnificent work, Mulder is shown actually having the gall to tell Phoebe that "he's not used to working with someone who's quick to agree with him". He's lucky to have Scully and at this point in the series, he clearly doesn't realize it.

Mulder and Phoebe go to Boston to protect the Marsden family from the arsonist, and he's sitting on his nice comfy canopy bed at the hotel when Scully calls on the cell. As soon as she tells him her classic line, "Mulder, it's me," he stands up. One gets the feeling he was expecting Phoebe's call. Then he tells Scully that she doesn't need to come up, even though she told him that she had evidence, by saying "I'm anticipating having my hands full." No further comment required.

Another classic reaction from Scully comes when she's walking into the hotel to see Mulder and Phoebe dressed to kill, dancing in the lobby. Her reaction is mixed with a hint of jealousy, and also good old fashioned manners by not wanting to interrupt them.

She sees Cecil standing near a potted plant in the lobby, but doesn't know who he is yet, and then is alerted that there's a fire on the 14^th floor. Cecil is gone. She interrupts Mulder and Green as they kiss to tell them of the fire. Scully and Phoebe go one way, Mulder the other. Instead of rescuing the children, he needs rescue from the firemen, as he has a pyrophobia attack. Although, he knows what one should do in case of a fire. He doesn't use the elevator, he feels the temperature of a door before opening it, he stays low, but he couldn't make it to the kids' door.

While Phoebe is too busy high-fiving everyone and congratulating the arsonist for saving the children to worry about her former lover, Scully rushes to Mulder and helps with his oxygen, feels his forehead, checks his eyes, takes off his shirt, puts him to bed, waits until he wakes up, gives him a glass of water for his sore throat, and his first words are, "Where's Phoebe?" A simple thank you would have been a little more appropriate, Mulder.

Phoebe's not willing to second guess Mulder, but she is to Scully when she questions "Bob the Caretaker", hero of the night. After finally being able to tell Mulder her correct information on Cecil L'Ively, he gives instructions on what she should do while he finds Phoebe, as if he was Scully's superior.

Mulder walks into the Marsden house to see Phoebe in a clench with him. Color us surprised. Mulder may have been, but we saw that semi coming down Broadway. Finally, you gotta give Mulder credit. He learned his lesson by the end of the episode. He didn't bother to listen to yet another tape Phoebe left instead of actually saying goodbye to his face. Well done, Mulder, if only a little too late.

Cecil was a wicked Monster but you just wish they would have saved him for another episode. The real conflict should have been between Phoebe and Scully if Carter had known what he had to work with after his lacking script was performed by the magnificent Gillian Anderson. We were just salivating for her to take Phoebe out with a body slam like she perfected on Bear in Ice.

OH COME ON!

Phoebe Green's entrance, and that Mulder would give her the time of day considering their history.

A British aristocratic Lady with 200 employees would make her own tea? And her husband would make lunch? Come on!

And if they had over 200 employees, why did we only see the driver and Cecil? Extras cost that much?

Can one really get fires to burn as hot as 7000 degrees? After 1000 degrees, temperature is a mute point, isn't it?

There isn't a fire hot enough that would turn a concrete foundation into sponge cake.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's grave is in Minstead, not Windlesham.

When arriving in the US, it's the US government that issues the VISAs, not the English government.

Mulder should have been more professional, knowing he had pyrophobia, to not put himself in harm's way, and have to be rescued along with the kids.

Why didn't Mulder just shoot Cecil when he was at the end of the hall setting the fires? Let's see, that would be arson, property damage, attempted murder, probably more counts, so being shot by an FBI agent to stop him would be completely understandable.

Mulder knows Cecil works for the Marsdens, but when he arrived loaded with the information, he doesn't search the house to find him, and only finds the burnt-to-a-crisp driver after Scully arrives?

The Marsdens, Phoebe and Scully all stand around while the one with the fear of fire is in charge of putting out the fires?

Even though they're aristocracy, would they really have rushed downstairs without their children when there was a fire upstairs? Would Scully have allowed that? Oh, that's right. Of course they had to. Mulder had to conquer his fear and save the tikes.

Why did he have to break down the door? Couldn't he have just asked the kids to unlock it?

Why did he have to carry the 8 to10 year olds out of the house? They didn't look injured. Maybe they should have helped carry him out.

THINGS LEARNED
or All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned From the X Files

So, Cecil L'Ively was the one who set the Windsor Castle fire of 1992! But wait, Windsor Castle burned in 1994, the Queen's Annus Horribilis.

A 'three pipe problem' is a catch phrase from Sherlock Holmes.

A fire at 7000 degrees can't be put out. Water would split into hydrogen and oxygen at that temp, 'adding fuel to the fire'.

If you have a live-in boyfriend at home, don't approach another guy in a bar. The FBI might let it slip to the boyfriend when they want a artist's sketch made of the arsonist.

British aristocracy can't drive their own cars, but do make their own tea and lunch, and they have caretakers making their beds. What a strange lot!

JACK'S MONSTERVISION

Ah yes, an angry Englishmen with pryokinesis. Talk about people you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley while you were carrying a few sticks of dynamite, cans of spray paint or fire accellerant. Mr. Cecil L'Ively (why couldn't my family have a name like that) is a Virgo who enjoys fantasizing about female aristocrats while planning to destroy their families by using his ability to set fires with his mind and faking his death. After torching a guy in England to give us an idea of what he can do, he makes his way to the good ole US of A just to kill a caretaker and make an elaborate plot to kill a family of British aristocrats? Ooo....k. Good thing the FBI agent on his tail is a pyrophobic and is being distracted by a old flame (pun intended) from Cecil's homeland. His partner has all the time in the world. All in all I think this guy is cool. The pyrokinesis and the cocky attitude appeal to me so I give Cecil L'Ively a 4 out of 5 self lighting cigarettes.

P.S. His last line is one of the best lines to end an episode. "I'm just dying for a cigarette."

SFX

Nice pyrotechnics and burned corpses. Except all the editing for Cecil's cigarette tricks were a little slow.

CASTING

Amanda Pays, Phoebe Green, is awful, but from Doug Hutchinson as Tooms, to the Olsen Twins, (oh, sorry) the Eve twins and the wonderful Harriet Harris, to Mark Shepard as Cecil L'Ively, they cast Monsters of the Week well. Although Shepard's accent flipped from Irish and Scottish brogues to Australian at one point, he was a charismatic presence.

WRITER
Chris Carter

Well, not his best work. Not as bad as Space, which was a travesty, but close. The jokes fall flat, the sexual innuendos are juvenile, he has no clue as to how English people speak, there are glaring lapses in logic, he used Scully as an afterthought, most of his research is wrong, and if he's going to take the time to introduce Mulder's ex-girlfriend, (and one hopes he had someone better than Phoebe in his life at some point, so we'll meet more) one would hope she would be more appealing. All we can think of poor Mulder was that he was Phoebe's lap dog while he was a brilliant Behavioral Sciences student at Oxford. Are we supposed to feel sorry for Mulder, or root for him?

DIRECTOR
Larry Shaw

He direction was by the numbers, except when he got into the mind of Cecil L'Ively with Scully's profile in voice over. Long, slo mo, lingering over Lady Marsden's breasts and wisp-thin waist while Cecil stared at her was appropriately creepy on many levels. Nice segue scene from Mulder, fearing fire, telling Scully, "A man has to face his demons," to the ignition of a burner in close up.

RUNNING TALLIES
Guns - both Mulder and Scully show them, and both should have used them but didn't
Slide Projector - arson specialist
Scully and Mulder wear glasses
Scully types out an excellent report
Cell Phones - Scully called Mulder twice
Scully Drives

POINT/COUNTERPOINT

Mulder and Scully are sitting in the X Files office. Scully is spraying the air with Glade to get rid of the residue of Phoebe's cheap perfume. Mulder smirks, "Were you a little jealous, Scully? You have nothing to worry about, Phoebe's in the past."

Instead of spraying him in the face for making such a silly, such a guy, response, she only uttered, "Jealous? Of what?"

Mulder tips back his head, almost falling backward off the chair and teased, "Come on, Scully. I saw you hike your eyebrows when you saw Phoebe plant one on me at the car."

Scully looks at Mulder showing him just what the hiking of her eyebrows really looks like. "I can assure you uh, Fox... I wasn't jealous." To which Mulder let out a long, carefree laugh that, circumstances behind it aside, Scully was pleased to hear. She continued, "You know, Mulder, I can accept that you may believe in aliens, but for you to believe that I am in any way jealous of Phoebe is truly beyond the realm of any reality. Think about it, what could there possibly be that would make me jealous?"

"Shall I count them off for you?" Mulder said, still wearing that smile, still mighty proud of himself.

Scully interrupted, "I admit that I was disappointed that she could distract you from your work and appalled that her criminal bomb threat action against us went basically unnoticed by you. I stand in wonder that you could tolerate someone with such disturbing and sadistic characteristics as Phoebe. But those are your choices Mulder, just don't imagine that I'm in that loop."

She continued as Mulder thought about what she said, "And you could hardly be referring to professional jealousy. After all, we solved the very case that Phoebe and all the lads at Scotland Yard let slip through their fingers."

ATHENAEUM

Scully, being the thorough detective that she is, and having had good luck with gaining information from the Athenaeum in the past, even though the Curator was a little goofy, walked down the marble steps and rang the bell on the high imposing information desk.

When The Curator answers the call, smiles to see the diligent FBI agent once again come to visit. Scully immediately asked, "Could I get any information you have on Scotland Yard?" before he can go on about that crumb cake recipe he gave her last time, and she hadn't had time to try.

The Curator rattled off, "Still maintaining links between British law-enforcement agencies and Interpol, Scotland Yard's responsibilities are now limited to metropolitan London. This renowned police force was established in 1829 under an act of Parliament. The first headquarters was located at No. 4 Whitehall facing a plot of ground called Great Scotland Yard. In 1967 headquarters moved and officially changed their name to New Scotland Yard.

"The Yard's most famous case has never been solved. Eleven brutal slayings known as The Whitechapel Murders were committed between 1888 and 1891 and are generally attributed to an unknown killer who called himself Jack the Ripper." The Curator leaned toward Scully to motion her closer with his finger. "It was a fraud, but it the name stuck.

"The Crime Museum at Scotland Yard is the oldest museum in the world put together purely for recording crime. It is not open to the public and serves as a lyceum for forensic studies. While Scotland Yard will not comment on the actual existence of Inspector Phoebe Green or her secrets, it does confirm that her tasks of guarding politicians and royalty does fall under their domain."

Scully waves her hands in exasperation, "I don't have that much time today. Thanks."

Before she leaves, the Curator thrusts some books across the desk to her. "Here's some personal reading that I think would do you a world of good."

Scully sees the titles of the books, "The Green Eyed Monster", "She's Not the Enemy", "Platonic Friends Means Platonic Friends, So What Do You Care?", "You're Better Than Her, So Don't Lose Any Sleep".

YOU MAKE THE CALL:
Does Scully reply: "Are you trying to tell me something?"
OR
"No thanks, I've already read them."

QUOTES

SCULLY I forgot what it was like to spend a day in court.
MULDER Well, that's one of the luxuries of hunting down aliens and genetic mutants. You rarely get to press charges.

MULDER That's weird. I'm sure I locked it.
SCULLY Must be an X-File.

MULDER 10-1, you can't dance to it.

GREEN Oh, come on, don't tell me you left your sense of humor in Oxford ten years ago.
MULDER No, actually. It's one of the few things you didn't drive a stake through.

SCULLY Mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower.
MULDER That was over ten years ago, Scully.
SCULLY Yeah, I noticed how you couldn't drop everything fast enough in order to help her out.
MULDER Oh, I was merely extending her a professional courtesy.
SCULLY Oh, is that what you were extending?
MULDER Look, I'm going to run this by the arson guys and then she's on her own.
SCULLY Something tells me you're not going to get rid of her that easily.

SCULLY So, Sherlock, is the game afoot?

L'IVELY Care for a light?

GREEN Deftly done, Agent Mulder. Casually disregard her indiscretion. A firm but polite manner until she accedes to cooperate.
MULDER It's a technique I refined in my relationship with you.

MULDER I think this guy just sent us a message that he's far more exotic.
GREEN I'd say so, I mean, he can set himself afire.

SCULLY Can I meet you somewhere?
MULDER No, it's just that I'm, I'm kind of anticipating having my hands full.

SCULLY Well, I did a little checking of my own. I didn't know a whole lot about arson or arsonists so I took the opportunity... for my own edification, of course.

NURSE Can I get you anything, sir?
L'IVELY I'm just dying for a cigarette.