| 'Shane needs compassion, not criticism' Victoria Mary Clarke Sunday Times 15 Sep 2002 Victoria Mary Clarke finds it hard to describe the torture of seeing her friend of 20 years appearing to destroy himself with drink THIS, I confess, is an enormously difficult article for me to write and I have hesitated about writing it at all. Shane MacGowan is somebody who has been part of my life for more than 20 years now, as a friend, as a lover, as a partner, and as a soulmate. This week, I am aware that there has been speculation in the media on a daily basis about his health and about his sanity and about the spectacle of him vomiting on stage, during a performance at the Olympia theatre, while confined to a wheelchair. I was asked to talk about this on the radio, to add my opinion to the many opinions that have already been voiced. Considering that we are currently hovering on the brink of what may be extinction, in the form of war between America and Iraq, and considering that this week a shipload of deadly plutonium is being transported back to Sellafield, having been rejected by the Japanese company who bought it, I am surprised that Shane's condition has garnered as much attention as it has. As someone who has had to learn the hard way to accept the things I cannot change and to only try to change things that I can, I am probably writing this because I am intrigued by the level of interest in somebody whom none of us can change. All of this is not to say that it doesn't break my heart to see Shane in a wheelchair and to see him drinking the way he does. I don't believe there is a way to describe the torture of seeing someone you love appearing to destroy themselves. Perhaps I am one of the luckier ones, in that Shane is not actually family, even though he is as close as family. I have one friend, in particular, a successful businessman who has had to endure the pain of seeing his brother living on the street, and drinking himself into oblivion, right outside the place where my friend has his office. Another friend of mine walks past her brother every day, on the way to work, as he does the same thing. While Shane may be condemned for vomiting on stage and while I can see that this is a shocking and unpleasant sight to behold, at least Shane is still able to share something of his remarkable talent, has always been able to pay his own way in the world, and is an enormously generous giver to charity as well. Given that he has struggled with personal demons for most of his life, I think his contributions, in the form of music and words and in the form of his own uniquely wonderful being are to be especially commended. Some of the people who called RTE's Liveline last week were horrified that the Olympia and their promoters allowed Shane to go on stage in a wheelchair and to vomit. Other performers, it is true, cancel gigs because of a sore throat. But, to put this in context, one of the very first shows that The Pogues played in Ireland, in the early Eighties, featured Shane vomiting on the front row of the audience, without missing a beat. And I have seen him perform with one arm and one leg in plaster, so the wheelchair is not really a surprise. I DIDN'T see the show, but it didn't surprise me to hear Shane say that he couldn't understand what the fuss was about, because in his opinion he sang perfectly well, regardless of how bad he must have looked. I believe that anyone who goes to Shane's concerts regularly knows that he is not likely to ever be clean and sober, because he never was and, therefore, I do not hold the Olympia or their promoters responsible for this situation. I do not believe that an artist should be prevented from singing or playing music, painting, writing or expressing themselves creatively in any way based on their being sick, because I believe that to express oneself creatively is generally therapeutic for the artist, and if it gives people pleasure to come along, that should not be prevented, as long as the artist is not being exploited, is of sound mind and has agreed their fee voluntarily. Sinead O'Connor mentioned two things when she phoned in to give her opinion on the radio. The first was that she believes Shane is too far gone now to come back. I personally hope and pray that this is not the case. This is what makes it so difficult for me to write about him. Perhaps he will never give up drinking and perhaps he will die. But I have always wondered and worried whether this might happen, throughout the 15 years that we spent together. When we first met, the newspapers were already giving him six months to live. The truth is that I really have no idea when he will die, any more than I have any idea when I will die. It disturbs me that he drinks, because I don't believe it will help him to be healthy, but death is another matter. I have known too many people to die suddenly and unexpectedly without alcohol being involved, to believe that any one of us could not die today or tomorrow. So what are we left with? I separated from Shane because I could no longer be happy with his lifestyle, it was having a destructive effect on my own and even though I had tried very hard to reconcile myself to this, because he was so very special to me, I eventually found my own sanity suffering. But Sinead says that we cannot blame Shane for this and I know she's right. Shane is dealing with his life in his own way and no one but him can stand in his shoes and see it from his point of view. And, so, the only thing we can do is to offer love, if we have it and compassion, rather than criticism. And to take responsibility for our own happiness and well-being and not to judge anyone else, including Shane. And for those of us who don't like to see him vomit on stage, perhaps we don't have to go to his concerts. For those of us who do decide to go to his concerts, I am sure that he will continue to give the best that he is capable of, for as long as he possibly can. Long may that be. Victoria Mary Clarke (c)2002 |