THE ISSUE 

A Sequel to "One Day In the Sun"

by Christine Hantzopulos Hunt

 

 

        Natalie regarded the dry toast and tea for a full five minutes before pushing it aside in disgust. What would be the use? She hadn't been able to keep very much food down in the past two weeks, and today would be no exception. She stood from the breakfast table, found her way to the bathroom mirror, and studied her reflection. Make-up wouldn’t obscure the tired dark bags under her eyes, nor brighten her drawn features. She'd dragged herself to work like this for too many days, leaving herself open to a barrage of questions: why did she look so pale? Why was she losing so much weight?

        "Not today, Sidney," she told the grey and white cat that had jumped up to the vanity to observe her. She rubbed him lightly on the forehead, a smile escaping her lips as her feline companion's eyes became thin slits, and he purred in pleasure. "At least someone feels good today."

        She slipped back under the covers, Sidney snuggling against her as she dialed the phone.

        "Grace, this is Natalie. I can't make it in, today. Okay, that'll be fine. Oh, and Grace? Did Nick call at all?" Disappointment flooded her voice. "Okay, well, if he does...just tell him I'm home."

        She hung up the receiver, clinging to an obliging pussycat as if he were a teddy bear. How long had it been since she'd seen Nick? Days? Weeks? Her time with him had dwindled so over the last month. While she had been stuck on day shifts, he'd of course, continued to work at night. And though he called her once a day, the conversations had become increasingly strained. Had he eaten today? Had he kept away from the blood? His answers, at first enthusiastic, had become apologetic as the pressures at work had put his efforts towards humanity on the back burner. And the protein drinks which she'd left for him in his refrigerator had gone untouched, while the bottles of blood had slowly emptied. Finally she'd stopped asking, stopped pushing so hard lest he feel pressured. There was just so much she could do. Between them it had become an unspoken issue, a wall fortified by each passing day.

        He's given up. He's not trying anymore.’ And she knew that it was his own disappointment with himself that was keeping him from her.

        So now, at a time when she needed him most, when she longed to tell him what was happening to her, she could not. In her rational moments, she knew he was ashamed to face her. But when she felt as she did now, her only thought was that he simply didn't care. It wasn't important enough to him, and neither was she.

        And that was what had kept her silent, and would continue to do so. For if he didn't care about her, he wouldn't want to hear what her instincts as both a doctor and a woman told her.

        She was carrying his child.

        Natalie turned on her side, cuddling Sidney as she closed her eyes. Sleep was the only escape.

        If only she didn't see him in all her dreams.

       

        Nick regarded the bottle for a full five minutes before relenting. Then, with anger directed at no one but himself, he drank the thick red liquid with a seemingly insatiable hunger. Yet even as the blood invigorated him, dizzying him with its potency, he threw the bottle to the floor in disgust, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces.

        Why did he keep doing this to himself? To Natalie?

        He sat on the couch, picking up the Polaroid photo he'd framed and left on the coffee table. Natalie smiled vibrantly in his arms as the sun beat down upon them. He stared at the photo as a blood tear filled the corner of his eye. It was real. It did happen. For after three months, he'd begun to doubt his own memory. Why couldn't he find the strength to make it happen again?

        Oh, there were reasons. Five unsolved murders, and working overtime to cover for those on vacation, had kept him from seeing much of her. And the frustration of all the dead ends he had run into on his caseload had sent him home each morning to his only relief--the bottle. He'd found it harder and harder to break his habit, his insatiable hunger that only blood could assuage. Even his control seemed to falter from time to time. How could he let Natalie see him like this? How could he look her in the eyes when he knew that he was letting her down? And how could he be so close to her, and not want to...?

        But he needed her. He longed for her strength, her gentleness, her inspiration...her love. He reached for the phone. It was only three p.m. Maybe if she hadn't taken lunch, she would come over...

        "Hello, Grace? Is Natalie...what do you mean, she's home sick? What's wrong with her? Okay, thanks."

        He punched in Memory One, her home number. "Nat, it's me. I just called you at work and Grace said you're sick...what's the matter?

        "Just an upset stomach. I needed to rest."

        Her voice sounded oddly distant, while his was filled with concern. "Why didn't you call me?"

        She paused. "I just needed to sleep. What's up?"

        He didn't like her tone. Since when had he needed an excuse to call? "I called you at work because I thought maybe you'd take your lunch hour and come here." He paused, emotion filling his voice. "I miss you, Nat. I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about you, and I really want to see you."

        "So do I," she said, her tone softening.

        "Hey, do you mind if I stop by on the way to work?"

        "Don't you have to go in at ten?"

        "I'll be late," he said. "I really need to see you."

        "Me too."

        His eyes brightened. "Okay. I'll be over as soon as I can. And Nat?"

        "What?"

        "I love you."

       

        She'd showered and put on clean sweats and a t-shirt, trying desperately with makeup to rid herself of the tell-tale signs of the stresses she was under. When she opened the door, he met her with a broad smile and a bouquet of long-stemmed roses. But his face clouded over with worry as he saw her.

        "Natalie, you look awful," he said in shock.

        "Thanks a lot," she said, hurt crossing her eyes.

        "Nat, I'm sorry," he said quickly, knowing he'd made a major faux pas. "I just mean I didn't realize how sick you were. Come here." His voice was tender as he pulled her into his arms, holding her close and nuzzling at her cheek. She relaxed in his embrace, her anger assuaged by the contact. "I missed you so much," he whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek.

        "Me too," she replied.

        He led her to the couch, handing her the roses. "These are for you. A get well present."

        "Thanks," she said smiling lightly. "They're beautiful. Let me put them in water."

        "No, you sit here. I'll do it."

        He placed the filled vase on her table, then sat beside her. "So, how do you feel?"

        "Awful," she replied, although he could already see it on her face.

        He took her hand. "Nat, I have to go to work tonight, but I can come back here as soon as I'm off duty--I'll spend the day with you, and take off tomorrow night, too--"

        "You don't have to do that," she said stiffly.

        He looked at her strangely. She was being too aloof.

        "But...I want to, Nat." He paused, trying to read her eyes.

        "Natalie, what's the matter? And why didn't you tell me you were this sick?"

        Her expression was bitter as she said evenly, "I've been like this for three weeks. If you had made any effort to see me, you would have known."

        He looked down, knowing she was right, yet still surprised by the extent of her anger. "Nat, I'm sorry. Work has been really frustrating. I haven't had time for anything. And it's very difficult with you working during the day."

        She heaved a sigh of resignation. "Oh, well, I guess three weeks doesn't seem like a long time to someone with eternity ahead of them."

        He looked at her sharply, not believing what she was saying. "Natalie, I don't think that's fair. I know--I know I haven't been trying a lot lately--"

        "You haven't tried at all!" she retorted. "When was the last time you even tried to eat food?"

        He shook his head, guilt-ridden. "I don't know. A couple of months ago maybe."

        " I leave food for you. I try to help. But you need to work at it, too--"

        "I know, Nat. It's just been very difficult. Ever since Janette brought me over again, the urge for blood has been overpowering. I can't control it anymore. I've tried, but it's stronger than ever. She says it'll take time..."

        The wrong thing to say. Obviously it was an issue he had discussed with Janette. She let it go, but he could see the hurt in her eyes. "There was a time when you would come to me if you needed help, if things were rough. And now, when we're supposed to be closer than ever...I feel as if you've been avoiding me."

        He took her face in his hands. "We are closer than ever. You have to understand that if I've been avoiding you, it's only because I'm afraid to be close to you. Sometimes I want you so badly, Nat..."

        She pulled away from him, as if hesitant to let her defenses down. "You controlled it before," she told him. "If you wanted to, you could. If it were that important to you--if I were that important to you--"

        "How can you even question what you or becoming human mean to me?" he cried angrily. "You know better than that!"

        "I thought I did," she said shakily. "But maybe it was just some phase you were going through. Janette always thought that, didn't she? Maybe having achieved it for a while was enough to satisfy your curiosity--oh, you may not want it badly enough to try seriously again for another hundred years or so." She stood angrily. "The only difference is that by then it won't be me you're doing it for, but some other mortal woman who catches your eye for a couple of years."

        She turned away, but he grabbed her by the wrist, swinging her around, perhaps harder than he wanted to. "You don't know what you're talking about. You have no idea what I feel for you."

        "Let go of me!" she said, pulling her arm free. "Just leave me alone..."

        His eyes were ablaze, on the verge of changing as he said, "You're the one who said it would take time. That it would be difficult, but that you were willing to wait. Are you forgetting that?"

        He was too angry to notice her hand go unconsciously to her abdomen as she replied, "Some things can't wait for eternity, Nick."

       

Her words pierced him like a stake through the heart. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was this his Natalie, who had been best friend, lover, fiancee, savior, inspiration, endless source of patience and love? "I don't know what's going on," he told her, fighting to regain his calm. "But when you're ready to tell me, you know where to find me." He resisted the urge to fly away, escape as if this day had never happened. Instead he found his way to the door, slamming it behind him.

       

Natalie's eyes filled with tears as she watched him leave. She didn't know why she'd just exploded at him so. It was as if all her frustrations had come to a head upon seeing him. She headed towards the door, ready to open it and call to him--but what would she say?

        ‘I have to get out of here...’ echoed in her mind. ‘I need time to think...decide what to do...’

        In moments the suitcase had been pulled from the closet. ‘Don't think of him. Just pack. Jeans, tops, underwear...oh, God, Nick, why can't I tell you..? ...sneakers...socks...wallet...Nick....’

        She collapsed on the couch, crying uncontrollably as Sidney jumped up to her rescue.

        He didn't know what to do. But then again, neither did she.

       

        Nick's face was like stone, his eyes glowing slightly in his anger. Schanke hadn't questioned the sunglasses, but then again, he'd simply begun to accept some of Nick's idiosyncrasies.

        But Nick's mood was a little too far from the norm. "Wanna talk about it?"

        "Talk about what?" he snapped.

        "Oh, I don't know." NAFTA. Hockey. Or maybe the reason why you look like you could kill someone."

        "If I look like that, maybe it's not a good idea to force me to talk," Nick said mirthlessly.

        But Schanke was undaunted. "It's just my guess, but I'd say there's trouble in paradise. What is it? A fight with Natalie?"

        Nick took a deep breath, trying to control himself, remembering that Schanke was harmless.

        "Because if it is, it's totally normal. Myra and fight all the time. Especially when she's going through that PMS thing. Women just get that way. You can't let it bother you."

        He looked at Schanke curiously for a moment, hating the idea of actually looking to Schanke for advice on his love life, but realizing that Don was, after all, married. Maybe he did have a little insight.

        ‘What am I thinking?!’ he reminded himself, then almost laughed at his own reaction. "Okay, Schank. Maybe you can give me a little advice."

        "Shoot. Remember, us older guys have more experience in these matters."

        "Uh, yeah. Anyway, Nat's just been very...upset, angry...irritable...lately."

        "What is she accusing you of doing?" he asked matter-of-factly. "It's always something they're complaining about."

        "I'd rather not get into it. Suffice to say, she does have some cause to be angry with me. But she just seems so...irrational." He sighed. "I don't know. Maybe it's just because she's sick. She hasn't been able to keep food down for two weeks."

        "Has she been to a doctor?" Schanke asked with a strange gleam in his eye.

        "She is a doctor," Nick said, not quite getting it.

        "Wrong kind, buddy."

        "Well, what do you mean? What do you think?" Nick asked, intrigued.

        "Irritable...irrational...can't keep food down...I dunno about Natalie, but Myra was just like that once..." He looked at Nick with his eyebrows raised. "Nine months later we had Jenny."

        Nick stopped short and looked at him.

        "It's possible, Nick. Isn't it?"

        He was about to say no, but realized that yes, maybe it was. "I...I don't think so," he stammered. "Why wouldn't she tell me?"

        "There could be lots of reasons. If it's true, it's a big change. Anyway, for some reason, they always want you to guess. You're supposed to 'know their feelings'; you know, all that sensitive crap women eat up."

        Nick shook his head, dismissing it with a nervous smile. "No. It can't be, Schank. Nat's not like that. She would have told me..."

        "Okay, maybe I'm barking up the wrong tree," Schanke admitted. He shrugged. "Maybe it's just the flu."

        But later, as Nick's shift had come to an end, he found himself on his way to see his only other real friend, one who could understand the situation far better than Schanke. For like Natalie, she was a woman. And like Nick, she was a vampire.

        Janette was standing by the bar, a wine glass filled with her favorite mixture as she watched the Raven's patrons dancing the early morning hours away. She put the glass down as she saw him, and smiled. "Nicolas." She took his hand, placing a kiss on his lips. But as she separated from him, she looked at him strangely. "Something is wrong. What's troubling you?"

        He sat on the bar stool. "Do you have any cow?"

        She looked at him curiously, then nodded, going behind the bar to pull a bottle from the cooler. She placed the glass in front of him, watching him take a large gulp, then close his eyes as it invigorated him. He took a deep breath, then set the glass down.

        "What is it, Nick?" she asked gently as she put her hand over his.

        "I've had a hard time keeping away from it," he began, looking at the half-empty glass.

        "You knew it would take time," she told him. "You have to be patient."

        "Oh, but it's not just me that's involved this time," he responded.

        She looked at him knowingly. "Natalie?"

        "I know she's disappointed, frustrated...I am too. But it's more than that. She seems so distant...and angry. Almost irrational. I thought maybe it was just because she's been sick. She's got some sort of stomach virus, and can't keep any food down."

        "Haven't you tried talking to her? From what I know of her, she seems quite reasonable."

        He let out a deep breath, shaking his head. "Not right now. There's something definitely wrong." He forced a smile. "Schanke thinks she's pregnant. But we know that's not possible."

        For a moment, Janette was at a loss for words, not quite sure what she thought--or felt--about the possibility. Finally she asked, "Well, you did use some kind of," --she searched for the word-- "...protection?"

        He shook his head, surprised that she was even giving it any credence. "No. I never thought about it--"

        "Of course you didn't. You've spent almost eight hundred years as a vampire. But if you're going to become human you have to think about these things. Disease, pregnancy..."

        "I wasn't afraid of getting anything from Natalie..." he told her defensively.

        Janette shook her head in disbelief, almost annoyance. "Nicolas, how could you live for eight hundred years--not to mention be living in the 1990's-- and be so naive, or so careless? What about you, Nick? Even if you haven't drunk human blood, and exposed yourself to human disease, you still are one of us. And you were when you made love to her. Even if she's not pregnant," she paused, seeing the concern growing in his eyes, "she could very well have been infected by your bodily fluids, just as surely as if you had given her your blood."

        His concern had escalated to real fear. "What have I done?" he whispered.

        "You didn't know," she told him, squeezing his hand.  "There is no real way of knowing. But you must go to her and find out."

        He nodded, thanking her, and kissed her lightly before her left.

        Janette just watched him go, not sure what to think. This was unexplored territory for all of them. But whatever was happening to Natalie, Janette hoped that she would be all right. If not, what would happen to Nick? It just might send him irredeemably over the edge.

       

        She had composed herself after a long nap, packed her bags and left sufficient food and water for Sidney for two days. She'd call her neighbor tomorrow to come in and check on him. Her coat was on, and she was about to go to the door when the bell rang. She opened it without asking who was there. Somehow she knew.

        "Nat, I'm sorry to come so late-- He stopped abruptly as he saw the coat and suitcase. "Natalie, where are you going?"

        She moved to let him in. He closed the door, taking her by the shoulders. "Natalie, please, tell me what's going on. You don't know how worried you have me."

        "Nick, look, I'm sorry for the things I said before--"

        "It's all right. You have a right to be upset. I have to put everything else aside, and try harder. I will. I swear to you."

        "It's not just that, Nick. I just need some time to get away. To think."

        "Then we'll go away together," he said, panic rising in his eyes. "Nat, we need to spend time alone together. We'll both take off from work--"

        "No, Nick," she said, her voice filled with the pain of her internal struggle. She did want to be alone with him. But until she could deal herself with what was going on, she needed to be away from him. "Please, just let me go off by myself for a while."

        "But where? And how long?" His voice betrayed his alarm.

        "I'm not sure," she said, averting his eyes now. "I'll call you in a few days..."

        "No. Nat, look at me." He brought her face up so that he could look into her eyes. "You're not yourself, Natalie. There's something wrong. And I'm afraid that maybe when we made love, there was something that passed between us that affected you. We need to talk, spend time together. I need to know you're all right."

        "I'm fine," she said, pulling away from him. "I just...want to be by myself. I need to be. Now please, respect that." She turned to pick up her bag.

        "Natalie," he asked, his voice softer, and filled with emotion.

        "What?" She looked at him, trying to hold back her tears.

        He struggled to get the words out. "Do you still love me?"

        She nodded. "Of course I do," she said gently. "I just need to get away. I promise I'll call you in a couple of days." She went to hug him, not surprised when he grasped her tightly, protectively, in his embrace. He brought his lips to hers, kissing her deeply, passionately, running his fingers through her hair, pushing himself to the very limit of his self-control. For a moment she felt weak in his arms, tempted to tell him the truth. But as she pulled away from him, she knew that her head was nowhere near clear enough.

        "I... have to go," she murmured.

        He went to the door, looking at her one last time, his eyes filled with hurt, an image that would be imprinted on her mind. And then he was gone.

        She grabbed her things, said good bye to Sidney, and left. But as she threw her bag into the back seat of her car, and started the ignition, she could not see the figure that watched her, hidden from her sight. Her tears had blinded her, and she had to call on all her reserves to calm herself before driving away.

        Nick watched from above as the car drove off, contemplated following her, then thought better of it. It was almost dawn. Anyway, this was not a situation that his vampiric powers could help him resolve. If Natalie needed time and privacy, he would have to give it to her. No matter how difficult waiting would be.

       

        He'd lived eight hundred years, and envisioned eternity. But centuries seemed to have passed more quickly than the last twenty-four hours. As dawn came up, he found himself on the couch, three empty bottles at his side. He'd called in, hoping in vain to hear from her. And after a few hours of waiting, he'd given in to his anger and despair. Without her, without her human warmth, only the blood could comfort him. And he hated himself for it. But with Natalie gone, he was too sick with worry to care. He took another gulp as he reached for the phone.

        He dialed her number, cursing as he got the message. He'd hoped...

        "Natalie, it's me," he said in a voice lower than his own. "If you pick up your messages, I just want you to know that I love you...and I'm thinking of you." he paused, his voice becoming choked with emotion. "I need you. Nat, please. Please come home. Or at least call me so I know you're all right."

        He put the phone back on its receiver, then lowered the blinds as the sun began to rise. He picked up the bottle again. Yes, the oblivion that blood and sleep would bring would be his only solace.

       

        From a hotel room in Buffalo, she picked up the phone to retrieve her messages. As she heard his voice, her heart began to ache, as tears filled her eyes. She'd tried so hard to forget about him, to clear her mind, to think about the baby and how she would deal with what was going on. But he was a part of it, the most important part. And as much as she'd convinced herself that he didn't really care, that it was her problem alone, his voice had rid her of any doubts. And the image of his pain-filled face had haunted her...

        She closed her suitcase and called for a bellhop, knowing what she had to do...

       

        The sun was high in the sky when she reached Toronto. She entered the door code, and stepped into the elevator, her heart beating wildly. She stopped in her tracks as the door slid open to admit her.

        Nick sat on the couch in his black silk pajamas, a bottle in his hand, a half dozen empty ones in front of him. He looked up at her, his amber eyes betraying a dawning hope, quickly replaced by shame. His hair was tousled, his face covered with two days' growth--but her attention was drawn at once to his fangs, extended as they had been since his binge began.

        "Nick," she whispered, guilt overwhelming her. This was her fault.

        He stood unsteadily to meet her, setting the bottle down, willing his features to return to normal. "Nat, you're back!" He paused, realizing the sight he must present. "I'm sorry--"

        "It's okay," she said softly, wrapping her arms around him. "It's my fault. I did this to you. I'm sorry."

        "No, no," he insisted, but she silenced him with her kiss. He kissed her hungrily, knowing once more that her warmth gave him more comfort than anything else could. He held her tightly as if afraid to let her go. "Natalie, thank God you're all right..."

        "Nick, I'm sorry," she began, tears welling in her eyes. "I was so cruel to you. But I was afraid. And I really thought you didn't care...I didn't know how to tell you--"

        "I'll try harder, Nat. From this moment on. I promise," he swore, kissing her again.

        "I know you will. And I'll be here to help you." She paused. "There's just something we need to talk about. The reason I've been sick, and not thinking straight--"

        "I know, my love," he broke in, taking her face in his hands. "It's not your fault. It's my blood." His face was guilt-ridden. "I'm so sorry for doing this to you. If I had known--"

        "Nick--"

        He looked curiously at the slight smile that had crossed her lips as she insisted, "I'm trying to tell you something."

        "What is it?" he asked tenderly, a bit curiously.

        She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant, Nick. We're going to have a baby."

        For a moment he wasn't sure he had heard her correctly; his mind had been functioning on a totally different wavelength, concerned only with how he might have affected her with his blood. But now..

        "What did you say?" he whispered, needing to hear it again.

        She smiled at his utter shock. "We're going to have a baby," she repeated.

        Relief flooded her as his face filled with joy. "I can't believe it. Oh, Nat..." He kissed her again, then held her close. "Are you sure?" he asked, looking at her with excitement.

        "Yes," she said, smiling broadly for the first time in a long time. "Absolutely sure. In six months, you're going to be a daddy."

        "Nat, this is incredible," he said as he led her to the couch. "How is this possible?"

        "You mean to say that at your age you still don't know?" she teased him.

        He reached up to caress her cheek. "Of course I know. I just didn't think--" He stopped midsentence, just looking at her, his face a mixture of incredulity and emotion. "I love you," he whispered, drawing her into his arms.

        For a long while they sat together in each other's embrace, drinking in the pure bliss of the moment. Finally, once the realization had sunken in, he asked, "Have you been to a doctor? Is everything all right?"

        Her smile faded. "No, I haven't gone. I've been taking all my prenatal vitamins, and doing everything the books say--"

        "It's not the same. You should see an obstetrician."

        "I know I should, but I was afraid that if there's anything unusual--how could I explain it?"

        His face clouded over with concern. "I know."

        "What you said before about being infected by your blood...You're right, we have to know. But I'll have to run tests myself."

        "I just wish you could see a doctor. Nat, I'm worried about you. Not being able to eat..."

        "It could all be normal," she told him, then paused. "And if it's not--I don't think there's anything a human doctor could do for me anyway."

        He knew it was true, and it filled him with guilt. "Natalie, I'm sorry."

        "Don't be sorry," she pleaded him. "I'm not. Let's just be happy about this."

        "You don't know how happy I am," he told her as he gathered her into his arms again. He ran his hands through her hair, tousling it, playing with it. "I love you," he whispered, kissing her. His hand found her abdomen, resting there in wonder. "I love you both," he said softly.

       

        Two weeks later, Natalie sat at work, trying to concentrate on the report in front of her. Andrew had performed the autopsy, and she was trying desperately to find a tie-in between this victim and the last. She laid the papers down as Nick strode in, his smiling face full of life.

        He plopped a package in front of her.

        "What's this?" she asked, standing to greet him.

        "A milkshake. Heavy on the milk." He kissed her, holding her a long moment as she rested wearily against him.

        "Any chance you can get off work early?"

        "No, I really have to finish going over these," she replied, separating from him. "I really hate it when I haven't done the procedure myself--I always worry that they forgot something."

        "So why didn't you?" he asked curiously. "The Owens case is fairly big."

        She shrugged. "I don't know. I just felt a little queasy all day."

        "Well, drink this." He opened the shake.

        "Ugh, I don't think--"

        "Drink it," he ordered.

        She gave him a look, but complied, taking a few sips then setting it down. "I'll finish it. Don't worry."

        "You'd better," he warned. He pulled the car keys from his pocket, handing them to her. "I'll see you at home. I'll have breakfast waiting for you." He gave her a kiss, lingering a moment, and was gone.

        Natalie picked up the shake, forcing half of it down before nausea overtook her once more. She willed the time to pass quickly, so she could go home--to their home.

        When Nick had learned of her condition, he'd convinced her at once to move in with him, insisting that he wanted to be there for her every moment possible. She hadn't argued. She needed to be with him, just as much as he needed her there. So they'd gone to her apartment to collect Sidney and most of her things, and, aside from their time at work, they hadn't been apart since. Being together had brought them both strength, and she'd even found that with his concern and coaxing she'd been able to eat. She'd always thought of herself as independent, but the last two weeks had proved to her how truly dependent on him she'd become. And it frightened her.

        Because as much as he was trying now, he still hadn't crossed back over. And until he did, he wouldn't be hers completely. She found her mind wandering back to that day over three months ago, that beautiful day in that sun, that wonderful morning when they'd become one...

        ...and she ached for him.

        She willed herself back to the present, and to her work.

       

        Cleaning the cat litter was far from his favorite job, but it was one of those things he knew he had to do while Natalie was pregnant. He finished, washed his hands, fed Sidney, then opened the refrigerator, looking over its contents. The bottles of blood sat side by side with milk, juice, eggs, vegetables, cheese, meat... He reached for a bottle, then held himself back, opting for some meat instead. He threw a patty in the frying pan, browning it enough to make it healthy...

        He took a bite, forcing himself to concentrate more on the meat than the precious red juice within. He swallowed, took a deep breath, then took another bite. So far, so good.

        Having Natalie at his side had been the impetus he'd needed to start again. For though he still needed some blood to sustain him, he was well on his way to recovery, eating more food each day. And there was a goal. He would walk beside her in the daylight again. And together, they would raise their child in the sunlight.

        The elevator door slid open, bringing him from his reverie. Too early to be Natalie. He looked up in surprise to see Janette.

        "Nicolas."

        He was about to suggest she ring the doorbell next time, but the concern in her eyes set all else aside.

        "Janette. What's wrong?" he asked going over to her.

        "We need to talk." She kissed him lightly on the lips, her eyes darting about. "Are we alone?"

        "Yes, Natalie won't be back for an hour."

        She looked at him. "May I have something to drink?"

        "Sure." He reached for one of the bottles, uncorking it with his teeth, trying not to whiff its aroma as he poured her a glass. "Sorry it's not your type," he said with a slight twinkle in his eye.

        She raised her eyebrow at the half-eaten hamburger, then accepted the drink gladly, not even complaining that it wasn't human. As soon as she'd taken a few sips, her calm demeanor seemed to return. She set her glass down. "Nick, some...of our kind, that I'd never seen before, were at the Raven, asking questions."

        "About what?"

        "You, Nicolas. Natalie. And," she paused, looking into his eyes, "a baby. Is it true? Is she really with child?"

Pride still peeked through his concern. "Yes," he told her. "I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to tell you. I found out two weeks ago, that night we last spoke. I've just been with her every moment, I haven't had time to stop by." Janette's expression was one of disbelief, although no one but Nick would have noted the touch of envy. "Nicolas, this is...incredible."

        "I know," he said, smiling broadly. "I still have a hard time believing it myself."

        "So, my sweet Nicolas," she said, touching his cheek. "You trade one form of immortality for another."

        "I always wanted to be a father. You know that," he replied, putting his hand over hers.

        "Yes, we both were enchanted with the thought of children not so long ago," she replied softly. "Don't you remember?"

       

        They watched Daniel playing with his new toy truck, oblivious of the horrors of the so-called war to end all wars. 

        "He's so precious, Nicolas," she said from behind him, her body molding against his. "Don't you wish that we too could have children?" she whispered in his ear.

        "Yes," he said absently, caressing the arms that had wrapped around his waist. "But we can't, can we?" 

        "Daniel could be ours,"

        He turned to face her, taking her into his arms. He knew how she really did long for a child, just as he dld.

        "But he's not ours, Janette," he whispered as he kissed her."Nor LaCroix's. He's not ours to keep..."

       

        "I remember," he said quietly, not wanting to think of what had happened to Daniel. He could tell by the sadness in her eyes that she was remembering too. He took her into his arms, hugging her. "There was nothing we could do."

        "You're right. That's why all the questions being asked tonight...just reminded me."

        "Of Daniel?"

        She nodded. "And of Stavros. It was him, Nick. I feel it. He knows about this baby."

        She could feel him tense as the little color in his face was drained. "Janette, you don't think he wants Natalie...the baby..."

        "All I know was that they were asking questions: are you still one of us; is the child really yours; has she been brought over." She sighed. "That's all. I wish there was more. But I thought you should know."

        "Thank you," he said with real emotion, knowing that she could be endangering herself by her loyalty to him. He kissed her warmly before separating from her.

        But as his lips came from hers, the unmistakable sound of the elevator door sliding open told him that they were no longer alone. He turned quickly to see Natalie standing there.

        Watching them.

        Her eyes were filled with anger and hurt. Nick went to her quickly, realizing what it must have looked like. But she turned away from him, heading up the stairs.

        "Natalie !"

        Janette eyes opened wide as she watched Natalie retreat. "I'm sorry, Nicolas. Do you want me to talk to her, explain--"

        "No. I don't want her to know about Stavros. I don't want to upset her--"

        "I think it's a little late for that," she commented. "I'd better go."

        "Thank you," he said, squeezing her hand. "For everything."

        He ran up the stairs as she left, finding Natalie sitting on the bed, her eyes red with tears.

        "Natalie, I know what you must think--"

        "Do you?" she asked bitterly, standing to face him. "You're making a fool of me, Nick. We're engaged, I'm carrying your baby, I've just moved in here with you--and come home to find her here, kissing you in our own home!"

        "Nat, it was innocent. Just a friendly kiss."

        "Friendly?!" she asked fuming. "You don’t kiss Schanke like that!"

        "You know what she is to me," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "We've been friends for centuries. And now that she brought me over--she's like a sister, or mother--"

        "Listen to yourself trying to justify it!" she cried.

        "I'm not--"

        "Because you can't! And you can't have us both, Nick. I thought you'd made your choice!"

        "Nat, I have made my choice," he insisted, his blue eyes sincere. "She just came here to talk to me. I was kissing her good bye. That's all."

        He could see in her eyes that she wanted to believe him.

        "Janette and I have been kissing like that for centuries. But I've already told you a thousand times that it doesn't mean anything. There's nothing more between us. Just the remnants of a very old passion, and a friendship that's a little stronger now because she brought me back across, and saved my life. You said you understood that."

        "The bond you have with her, yes. But the physical closeness. . ." Her anger had abated, replaced by distress. "It just hurts me, Nick. Can't you understand that?"

        "Of course I do," he whispered, holding her against him. "I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry. I promise I'll talk to her about it. And I won't do anything anymore that might hurt you." He kissed her deeply, with more passion than she could ever have witnessed between him and Janette. "I love you," he said softly, kissing her again.

        "Nick..." she said as they dropped down to the bed. "Please... I need you..." She ran her fingers through his hair, caressing him as his lips moved down her neck. But even as she felt his own excitement building with hers, she could feel his entire body stiffen as he pulled abruptly away from her.

        "No..." he said as his head came up. And his pain-filled eyes were glowing bright amber. "Natalie, I can't...control it. I want you too badly..."

        "Then fight it," she pleaded, reaching out to him. "Please, Nick. I'm not afraid..."

        "But I am," he told her, rising to sit on the bed. He looked down at her in anguish. "I won't take a chance of hurting you or the baby, Nat. I can't." He took her hand, kissing it, holding it against the coolness of his cheek, blood tears falling from his still-yellow eyes. "I need to go downstairs for a while," he said.

        "Nick, please," she entreated him, rising to sit next to him, putting her face against his. "Just hold me. Please."

        "Not right now," he said in a hoarse whisper. "I'm sorry..." And he pulled himself away, rushing from the room in fear of her life.

 

        And downstairs, he reached for the glass Janette had set down, drinking with as voracious a hunger as he had ever experienced, hating himself for it, knowing damn well that it was with Natalie that he wanted to be,  holding her, loving her. And it was the very blood that was satisfying him now that was keeping him from her. He threw the glass into the sink, breaking it into a dozen pieces. He wanted the blood...he wanted Natalie...he could allow himself neither. He threw himself on the couch, closing his eyes, trying to escape himself in sleep, escape the conflicting urges that battled within him...

       

        ...and in his bedroom, Natalie heard the glass break, could see him in her mind's eye...wanted to go to him...but knew that he wouldn't want her to. She closed her eyes, forcing herself to sleep...

       

        ...but hours later she still lay awake. She tip-toed quietly down the stairs, watching  him for a moment as he slept peacefully on the couch. She would let him enjoy his peace, knowing how rare it was for him. She went to the kitchen, trying in the dim light to find something to assuage the hunger that had made her stomach ache, but that wouldn't make her nauseous again. She decided on an apple, grabbing a paring knife to peel it.

        "Ow!" She glanced at Nick to make sure she hadn't awoken him, then turned to see the finger that she'd accidentally slit open. Instinctively, she brought her finger to her mouth, licking the blood away...

        ...and suddenly dizziness overtook her,  nearly making her fall. She steadied herself, found her way to the armchair, and sat down, waiting for her head to clear. She realized that her cut still stung, and once more, she brought it to her mouth...but this time, as the dizziness overwhelmed her, she realized it was much more. An exhilaration, an assuaging of that hunger that she'd tried to appease, without any of the accompanying nausea that had plagued her for weeks. And as she looked at Nick's sleeping body, suddenly she was afraid. ‘My God, what's happening to me?’

        She could not see her own eyes that had begun to glow pale amber. If she had, then she would have truly been afraid.

       

       

        Daniel's eyes were glowing bright yellow, his fangs extended as he sated his thirst with the blood LaCroix had just given him. Nick watched him in horror, his grief overwhelming him. Why hadn't Daniel gotten away?

        Janette placed her hand lightly on his arm. "Now he can stay with us, Nicolas. Our child..."

        He glared at her. "How long will he want to remain a child, Janette? What  happens when his mind matures, and his body does not? Will he still look on us so fondly? Will  he  still call you "Princess", or will he look on you, on all of us, as the monsters we are?"

        Janette was silent, contemplating what he had said. But LaCroix, overhearing, turned   to   her. "Pay   no  mind  to Nicholas, Janette. I've  given  you  the  child  you  always wanted..."

 

        Nick  awoke abruptly, wishing he could not remember the dream, but glad it had ended  where  it  did. Why  was  this plaguing him now?

        He  sat  up, surprised  to  see  Natalie  asleep on the armchair. Had she come to be with  him? Gingerly, he  lifted her  into  his  arms, careful  not to wake her, carrying her upstairs, and laying her gently on the bed. He observed  her for a long moment, then went to shower.

       

       

        She awoke, disoriented. How had she gotten here?

        "I carried you up," he explained to the question in her eyes. As  her  vision focused, she saw that he had showered, changed, and was carrying  a  tray  of  food. "Breakfast  in bed," he told her.

        "I'm not hungry," she murmured.

        "But  the  baby  is," he reminded her as he sat across from her. "Here, I brought for me, too. And  if  I  can  eat this stuff, then certainly you can."

        She  looked  down  at the bacon and eggs, toast, juice, and milk, with no  appetite  whatsoever. And  suddenly  last night  came  back  to  her. It  was a dream. It had to be. A nightmare. To disprove it all, she took a  healthy  gulp  of orange juice...

        ...and felt ill.

        "Come  on, Nat. Please. Look, it's  easy." He  brought milk up to his lips, tasted it, swallowed it, and smiled. He handed it to her. "Come on. Now you."

        To satisfy him, and for the sake of the  baby, she  ate as  much  as  she  felt  she could keep down, then pushed it away. "Please, no more," she said. And as she wiped her lips with a napkin, then placed it on the tray, she  noticed  it. The cut, just beginning to heal. She gasped slightly.

        "What is it?" he asked with concern.

        "Nothing. I'm okay. I just think...I ought to stay home tonight. I didn't sleep very well."

        "Do  you  want me to stay with you?" he asked as he set the tray aside. "I will if you want."

        She shook her head, forcing  a  smile. "No, it's  okay. Save your time off for when the baby's born."

        "Okay." He  kissed her on the lips, pushing himself to his limit in his need to comfort her. "I'll be home in a few hours. Call me if you need me."

        

       

        But a few hours later, when he called to  check  in  on her, she  was  gone. And  immediately  his thoughts began to race with possibilities he didn't even want to  acknowledge. He told Stonetree he'd have to leave early, and went home to find the loft empty, save for Sidney. Panic began to set in, but   he   resisted   the   call   of  the  bottles  in  the refrigerator...

 

        As Natalie stepped into the Raven, she knew immediately she was not in her element. She felt  uncomfortable  in  the blouse  and knee-length skirt that had just begin to fit too snugly, compared to the almost bulimic young women in  their twenties  wearing  every  mixture of black lace and leather. But she'd come here for a purpose, and  she  strode  towards the bar, looking for Janette.

        There  she  was. Natalie  hated  the way she looked, so young despite her ancient  soul, eternally  perfect  in  her basic black minidress, low-cut to reveal the slim white neck from  which, she  knew, Nick  had fed so many times. Janette looked up in surprise as Natalie  approached  her. Was  that concern crossing her eyes? Or amusement? She had to know how Natalie felt, especially after last night.

        "Natalie. What brings you here? Are you alone?"

        "Yes. And  I  need to talk to you," she said, measuring her words.

        "Of course" she said pleasantly, her curiosity rising.

        "Can I offer you a drink?"

        "No, thank you. I can't drink alcohol right now."

        Janette smiled  sweetly. "Yes, I  hear  congratulations are  in order." As Natalie nodded her thanks, Janette turned to the bartender. "A  glass  of  my  usual, and  some  plain cranberry juice for my friend."

        Natalie  started at her use of the word friend. Janette couldn't  help  but  notice. "I  am  your   friend, Natalie. Nicolas loves you. How could we not be friends?"

        Natalie  tried to choose her words carefully. "Janette, I'm grateful for everything you did for  Nick--and  for  me.  And I know your friendship with him runs very deep--"

        "There  is no deeper bond than that of blood, Natalie," Janette told her as she raised her own glass. "My connection to Nick is an eternal one. It won't go away."

        Her tone was matter-of-fact, but her words stinging.

        "I know all that," Natalie  told  her. "But  can't  you respect what I have with him? Our relationship? Our baby?"

        "I  do  respect  that,"  Janette replied. "Because it's what he wants--"

        "Then why can't you keep your hands off  of  him?"  she said evenly, with anger raging in her eyes.

        "Is that what's bothering you, Natalie? A kiss?"

        "It's more than that. You don't seem to realize, things are different now."

        Janette  moved  closer  to  her, as if about to tell an intimate secret. "Natalie, Nicolas has made his choice. He's chosen  a  path  that  has nothing to do with me, or what we once had. He loves you, and the child  you're  carrying. Why should  an  occasional  kiss  or embrace between old friends bother you so?"

        Natalie was searching for an answer  when  the  bouncer tapped on Janette's shoulder. He whispered something to her, and  she  said, "They  need  me for a moment. Please, relax, have something to drink, and we'll talk some more."

        Natalie watched her  go, her  thoughts  racing. Janette did  make perfect sense, and seemed genuine. Then why did it bother  her  so? Was  it   her   own insecurity? Her   own frustration  at  wanting  to be as intimate with him as they once were, and his inability to do so? With a  shaking  hand she picked up a glass and began to drink absently...

 

        Out  of  the corner of her eye, Janette watched Natalie as the  bouncer  spoke  to  her. Uncontrollably, she  did  a double  take...were  her  eyes playing tricks on her, or was Natalie drinking blood?!

 

        ...and suddenly that  exhilaration  overtook  her  once more, that unquenchable  thirst  that  only  could  only be satisfied by...

        She looked at the glass  in  horror, wiping  her  lips, looking  down  at  the  blood  on  her fingers. In panic she realized that the cranberry juice  still  lay  untouched  in front  of her. She had taken Janette's glass! She dropped it to the floor in terror, in disgust, the crash unheard  above the  loud  dance  music. I  have  to  get out of here... She grabbed her purse, running away, trying to deny what she had done.

        She was  gone  when  Janette  returned. The vampire picked  up  the remaining  glass and sniffed. In shock she set it down, then noticed the broken glass at her feet. Her glass.  Without hesitation, she reached for  the  phone. Nick's voice  was  almost frantic with worry as he picked up on the first ring.

        "Nicolas, we have a problem. A very big problem."

 

        Natalie's heart was beating wildly as she  entered  the apartment, throwing  her  bag on the floor. She looked up in surprise to see Nick  standing, waiting  for  her. His  blue eyes were ablaze with anger.

        "You're supposed to be at work," she said, averting his gaze.

        "I  came  home early when you didn't answer the phone." He came up to her, taking her by the shoulders, forcing  her to  look  at him. "Why did you go there, Nat? You don't know how dangerous it could have been!"

        At once  it  dawned  on  her. "Oh, I  see. Your  friend called, didn't she?"

        "She's worried about you, as I am--"

        "Look, I know you're angry because I went to talk to her, but I had to. I don't want her coming between us--"

“Natalie, as far as I'm concerned, nothing can come between us. But that's a different issue entirely." He paused, looking into her eyes, trying to compose himself. "I want to know about the blood."

        "I don't know what you're talking about," she lied,  pulling away from him. She couldn't deny it to his face. She  walked into the kitchen, looking for...something, some  relief.

        "Nat, please," he said, coming up behind her, placing  his hands gently on her shoulders. "Tell me the truth.  Janette saw you drink blood..."

        She turned sharply to face him. "Okay. So I did.  Without realizing it, but yes, I did. And it made me feel  good, healthy, for the first time in months! So why not?"  she cried. She opened the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle  of his own supply. "Besides, maybe after all is said and  done, this is the only way that I can really have you!"

        With that she tore out the cork, raising the bottle to  her lips...

        He grabbed it from her, smashing it to the floor.  Natalie fell into his arms, crying uncontrollably. "It's  okay," he said tenderly, kissing her on the forehead.

        "Please, Nick," she sobbed. "I want it. I need it...I  want to be like you...I want you to love me, have the same  passion for me that you do for Janette..." 

"I love you," he told her, holding her tightly. "And my  passion for you, my desire for you is immeasurable. Don't  you see that I'm just afraid to get close to you again until  I'm fully human?" 

"You wouldn't be afraid if I were like you," she said,  clinging to him. "Please, Nick..."

        "Nat, you're not thinking straight," he said, hugging  her close. "It's my blood...maybe even the baby...It's given  you the desire for blood...you're too confused to even  realize what you're saying..."

        But as she raised her head to look at him, he gasped to  see that her eyes had turned a bright amber. "Please, Nick,"  she beseeched him. "I'm so thirsty. Help me feel better.  Please..."

        "No, my love, no," he said tenderly as his own eyes  filled with blood tears. What had he done to her? Anguish  consumed him as he held her weak, whimpering form in the  protection of his loving embrace. Finally, he lifted her up  into his arms, carrying her upstairs to the bed.

        He sat with her for a long while until he was sure she  was asleep, then went downstairs to do what was long  overdue. One at a time, he emptied the bottles of cow's  blood. It was something he should have done for himself. Now  he would do it for her.

       

 

She awoke to find herself alone in bed. "Nick?"

        In moments he was at her side, smiling at her with  concern in his blue eyes. She reached out to him, and he lay  beside her, drawing her close. She rested her head against  his bare chest where his black robe had fallen open. He  reached up to her hair, his flowing sleeve brushing against  her skin. "It's okay, Nat. You're all right now."

        "What's wrong with me, Nick?" she asked weakly. She  looked up at him, fear in her normally bold blue eyes.  "What's happening to me?"

        "I'm not sure," he admitted, unable to hide his own  worry. "Nat, I spoke to Janette about it...she's the only  one I thought might know--"

        "It's okay," she said, assuring him there was no need  to explain. "Does she have any theories? Is it the baby?" 

He shook his head. "No. Neither of us thinks so. The  baby would only have my DNA."

        "And your condition isn't genetic," she finished, the  doctor in her taking over. "So it's me. The blood I drank--"

        "No, Nat." He refused to let her accept the guilt that  was his alone. "It's me. When we made love, whatever was  dormant in my blood, in my bodily fluids, was passed to  you."

        "So you...brought me over? It can't be. I've been in  the sunlight--"

        He shook his head. "No. Thank God. But it's lying  dormant in your blood, as it was in mine that day. That's  why you couldn't eat food."

        "And drinking the blood brought it out."

        He nodded. "Natalie, I'm so sorry..." he said,  caressing her cheek.

        "You had no way of knowing," she told him. "What we  have to do now, is figure out how this is going to affect  the baby. The fetus doesn't share blood with the mother, so  its blood hasn't been infected."

        "No. I didn't think so. If a fetus were brought over,  it couldn't develop."

        "But it does take in nourishment from me," she said.

        "Which is why the most important thing for you to do is  eat real food, and stay away from the blood."

        "Easier said than done." She paused. "But then you know  that." She reached up to touch his face, as she said  tenderly, "For the first time, I think I really understand  how hard it's been for you."

        "That's why I'm going to help you--just as you've  helped me. All the blood in the house if gone. There's  nothing left but food."

        She looked at him in alarm. "How will I go to work? I  deal with blood all day." She thought a moment. "That must  be why I was getting so dizzy--"

        "You're not going back to work," he told her. "Not  right away, anyway. Neither am I. I told Stonetree that  you're having complications with your pregnancy, and I'd  need to stay home to take care of you." He smiled. "Which is  exactly what I'm going to do."

        She reached up to kiss him, relishing his touch, his  love and attention being what she needed most of all right  now. "Nick, if I can stay away from the blood--"

        "The vampirism should grow weaker and weaker. Maybe  disappear completely. We don't know. But at least, the baby  should be safe."

        "There's no guarantee, is there?" she asked, tears  filling her eyes.

        "No, Nat. Not for any of us. But we have to try. If you  drink blood, you'll come across. And the baby..."  His voice trailed off. He couldn't say it. But they  both knew that there was more at stake than Natalie's coming  across.

        For if she did, the baby would undoubtedly die.

        He pulled her closer, holding her tightly. "We'll do  it, Nat," he whispered in her ear. "We'll do it together."

       

        And they did. For the next eight weeks, they spent  every moment together, living their lives to the fullest  each night, sleeping in one another's arms each day. It  became a game, first coaxing each other to eat, and then  finding a new restaurant each night to try every type  cuisine imaginable. They also took time to do all the things  that their work schedules had rarely permitted--movies, the  theatre, baseball games, museums, evening walks through the  park, concerts...totally normal activities that Nick had  never had someone with whom to share.

        The effects on both of them were outstanding. Nick's  vampiric abilities had dwindled down almost to where they'd  been five months ago, as his skin had warmed, and his  complexion had turned a healthy peach. And Natalie was  perfectly radiant, bursting with good health, and a strong  appetite that had spurred the baby's growth. According to the  books, her weight gain was perfect, and Nick delighted in  feeling the growing bulge where their baby continued to  kick, anxious to join them in the mortal world.

        But most satisfying to Nick was seeing Natalie truly  happy, at ease with herself and their life together. Her  sense of humor had returned, along with the beautiful smile  that never ceased to captivate him. It was so good to see  her smile, hear her laugh again. And as they planned for the  future, their concerns of the past few months seemed to  disappear...

         It was a warm August evening, and when Natalie awoke,  she reached over to find only Sidney sleeping with her. She  sat up in bed, looked on his pillow to find a note: "Went  shopping. Be back soon. Love, Nick." She lay back down to  wait for him, resting her hand on her abdomen, smiling as  she felt the baby kick. "Good morning to you, too," she said  softly.

        She didn't wait long. In minutes she heard the door  slide open, and his familiar step as he ran up the stairs.  He peeked into the bedroom, holding something behind his  back. He smiled as he saw her watching him. "Good, you're  awake."

        "And where have you been at the crack of...uh, dusk?"  she asked, struggling to lift herself up to a sitting  position.

        He sat across from her, then brought forward the  package he'd been hiding. "Buying these," he said, handing  her three dozen long-stemmed roses.

        "Nick, they're beautiful! But what's the occasion?"

        He smiled mischievously. "I know I forgot last year, so  I wanted to make up for it today. Happy Birthday, Nat."

        Her eyes opened wide. "August 15th! I lost track of the  days. I can't believe you remembered!" She laced her arms  around his neck, accepting his kiss. "Thank you," she said,  smiling.

        "We've got dinner reservations in two hours. Do you  want your present now, or later?"

        "Well, since you brought it up, now you have to give it  to me," she teased.

        "Okay. Here it is." From his inside jacket pocket he  pulled an oblong box, delicately wrapped in gold metallic  paper. He handed it to her, then remembering, pulled the  card from another pocket. "This goes with it."

        She opened the card first; it was one of Hallmark's  mushier variety, which said, "Happy Birthday to My Wife."  She looked up at him, and his eyes were serious as he said,  "I know we're waiting until we can do it the right way, in a  church, but it seemed appropriate. That's how I think of  you." She smiled, the warmth in her eyes telling him that  she understood. When she had read the inside, he said,  "Look--I even signed "LOVE, Nick" this time..."

        She laughed. "Yeah, it sure beats "with affection",  like last year's card."

        "Well, I still don't think it was that bad. I meant  with a lot of affection. I just couldn't get that four  letter L-word out."

        She laughed. Last year seemed centuries away...She  began to unwrap the package.

        "I hope you like it," he said expectantly.

        Her mouth dropped open as she lifted the cover on the  box to expose an exquisite diamond heart necklace. Probably  an inch and a half in diameter, the heart itself was made up  of twelve diamonds, each at least a half-karat in size. It  sat on a rich gold chain, thicker than any Natalie had ever  seen. "Nick, it's breathtaking," she said softly. "I love  it!" She threw her arms around him again, kissing him, then  resting against his chest.

        He smiled, pleased that he'd made the right choice.

        "I just want this birthday to be better than the last,"  he said as he held her close. For a moment his expression  grew dark as he thought of how he had almost lost her just a  year ago.

        "How could it not be better?" she asked, oblivious to  his thoughts. "I've got you, and in four months we're going  to have a baby..." She separated from him, taking his hand  to lay on her abdomen. "It's kicking now. See?"

        He held his hand there in absolute awe until the child  within began to calm down. "He certainly is anxious to come  out," he commented.

        "Yes, she is," Natalie replied with a grin, then looked  at him seriously. "You know, maybe since everything seems to  be going okay, I can finally go to a doctor--at least get a  sonogram--"

        "That's an excellent idea," he told her, relieved that  she would finally relent to going. "Why don't you try to get  someone with evening hours so I can go with you--"

        "In the summer time? Sorry, but I think coroners are  the only doctors that work after sundown." At the  disappointment on his face, she added, "Okay, I'll try.  Maybe in some hospital..."

        "Thanks. I just want to be involved in every aspect."

        "Good. I'll look into Lamaze classes so you can know  what to do in the delivery room."

        "Hey, I was a doctor in another life, you know."

        She laughed. "A lot's changed in a hundred years."

        "Not how babies are born," he replied dryly. He took  the necklace out of the box. "Come on. Let me put this on  for you."

        He helped her out of bed, then stood behind her in  front of the mirror, fastening the clasp.

        "It looks beautiful," she said, admiring her gift.

        He wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her on  the neck. "So do you." He held her a moment, looking at  their reflection, then said. "Why don't you get ready now?  We've got a table at the most exclusive restaurant in  Toronto. I want this to be the best birthday you've ever  had."

 

 

         The dinner had been wonderful: shrimp cocktail, an  asparagus salad, and filet mignon, rare for Nick, and  well-done for Natalie. They sat now contemplating the  dessert menu. "I don't know. I'm really full..." she began,  although the pecan pie did look tempting..."

        He looked at her and smiled. She looked so lovely in  the pale pink dress, her light brown hair flowing freely  about her shoulders. It was true what they said about  pregnancy enhancing a woman's beauty...

        Suddenly, Nick felt a cold chill run down his spine.  Natalie must have sensed him tense, for she asked, "What's  the matter?"

        How could he explain what he felt? A presence, an  ancient One, watching him, closing in...

        The figure had made his way to their corner table  noiselessly. Nick looked up with a start, the blood draining  from his face. Natalie followed his gaze to see a tall  dark-haired man with piercing brown eyes that seemed to  smile at Nick's reaction.

        "Hello, Nicholas. It's been a long time."

        "Stavros," he said, instinctively rising.

        

 

The dark-haired man that stood before them had the  presence of an ancient soul, exuding a power that could only  belong to a vampire who had lived through millennia. His  dark eyes pierced through Nick and Janette, Making them feel  almost weak in his company. Even LaCroix seemed shaken to  see him, as if his own reign of power were threatened by  this Elder among their kind...

 

 

 

         "You're looking well, Nicholas. Humanity seems to agree  with you." He turned to Natalie. "And this must be your  fiancee," he said as if enchanted by the notion.

        Nick broke into a cold sweat, glad that he had begun to  perspire as humans do, for it was far less obvious than  blood. "This is Natalie," he managed, hating being forced  into the introduction. "Nat, this is Stavros...an old  friend."

        He glanced at Stavros, who didn't seem to mind the  introduction, nodding his approval of Nick's adherence to  the Code. "Pleased to meet you, Natalie."

        Natalie responded in kind, as his cold handshake  reaffirmed what she'd already guessed him to be. She glanced  at Nick, feeling his discomfort, but forcing a smile.

        "Nat, Stavros and I have some things to discuss--" he  said in a tone that told her that it had to be private.

        "I was just going to freshen up," she supplied quickly.  "Will you excuse me?"

        "Certainly, my dear. Although I look forward to getting  to know Nicholas' true love." His smile was charming and  unnerving at once. With a glance at Nick, she picked up her  purse and left the table.

        Stavros, ever the gentleman, had asked a waiter to  bring over another chair, while he left the lady's vacant  for her return. He sat down, motioning for Nicholas to do  the same.

        "So, Nicholas, when and where was it last?"

        "England. 1915," Nick said needlessly. Stavros knew  damn well when it had been. "Is Daniel well?"

        "He's become quite powerful actually, under our  tutelage," he replied.

        "But is he happy?"

        Stavros raised an eyebrow at the question, so human in  nature, but responded honestly. "As happy as a creature  almost 90 years old can be in the body of a child."

        "LaCroix's great experiment," Nick said disdainfully.

        "You know I've never liked LaCroix much," Stavros  intimated. "But I do like you, Nicholas. You have a spirit I  admire. That is why I came personally to speak with you."  Nick was silent, knowing what was coming.

        "It's of this new experiment we must speak," Stavros  told him plainly.

        "There's no experiment here, Stavros. Just an unborn  child."

        Stavros looked at him with interest. "You know for a  fact the child is yours?"

        Had he been able to lie, it might have made things  easier. But Stavros would know. "Yes, of course it is."

        "And it was conceived in a mortal union?"

        "Yes. "

        "No sharing of blood?"

        "No."

        "And the woman--you've not brought her over to be one  of us?"

        "I would rather die than do that," he replied.

        Stavros paused, impressed by the apparent intensity of  Nick's emotions. "I know, of course, of what happened  between you and LaCroix. It was Janette who brought you over  again. Was the child conceived before this?"

        Nick nodded. "I was, as far as I knew, human."

        "Yet it was dormant within you, wasn't it, Nicholas?"

        Nick hesitated, not liking where the conversation was  going. But he knew he had to answer. "Yes. I just didn't  know it at the time."

        "And has Natalie suffered ill affects of her union with you?"

        "She did. She was very sick. But she's fine, now.  Perfectly normal," he added. "So is the baby."

        "Come, Nicholas. Do you really know that for a fact?  Can any of us know?"

        Nick was silent, trying to obscure the fear rising  within him.

        "You know why I've come, Nicholas."

        "No, I don't. There's no need for you here. There's  nothing unusual about this--"

        "Ah, but there is. The first child conceived between  mortal and vampire--"

        "I was human," Nick insisted, perhaps a little too  vehemently for Stavros' liking.

        "Not completely," Stavros reminded him. He paused,  studying the dread in Nick's eyes, then said what he must.  “ I've come to take her, Nicholas."

        "No!" Nick nearly cried in terror, as loudly as he  could in a public place. Damn Stavros for choosing to  confront him here!

        "That's precisely why I did choose it, Nicholas. No  scene. No argument. This is what must be done."

        "I won't let you," Nick said boldly, though both men  knew there was nothing he could do to prevent it.

        "She'll be unharmed, Nicholas," he promised. "I'm  taking her back to our headquarters in Paris, where she'll  be under observation until the child is born--"

        "And then what? Are you saying you mean to let her live  after she's seen you all?" he challenged. "The Enforcers--"

        "--do my bidding," Stavros told him. "Natalie is not a  danger to us. She has known of you for three years, and said  nothing. I will allow her to live."

        At the look of surprise on Nick's face, he explained,  "Yes, we have been observing you both for a very long time.  You've never been out of our sight. Especially since the  child was conceived."

        Nick's heart dropped as he cursed himself for having  been lulled into a false sense of security.

        "In any case, Nicholas, it's the baby we're really  interested in."

        The rage began to grow within him. "You can't take our  child!” he sputtered in a hushed whisper.  

"We can do whatever we want, Nicholas," Stavros told  him, his own anger crossing his dark eyes. "I speak to you  only out of courtesy, because of the respect I hold for you.  I could have sent the Enforcers to whisk her away the moment  we heard of her pregnancy--"

        "Stavros, please," Nick appealed, trying to force down  his panic. "Believe me when I say that the child will be  human. In which case, it would be of no interest to you,  right?"

        Stavros considered it a moment, then replied, "Correct."

        "Well, contemplate this. Natalie is in a very  precarious condition. If you were to take her from me, bring  her to a strange place where a group of vampires were  observing her, examining her, holding her hostage, as it  were...the results could be devastating. The stress alone  could cause her to miscarry."

        "It's a risk," Stavros admitted. "But I see no other  alternative."

        "You can't risk her life, the life of our child, just  because it's the most convenient way to handle the  situation!” Nick told him.

        "You have a suggestion?"

        "Yes. Let her stay with me. Let me care for her, as I  have been. And when the time comes, you can send someone to  see that the child is human, and of no use to you--"

        "If it is not, we will take it," he warned.

        "It will be," Nick said with certainty. "Please,  Stavros," he implored. "Don't needlessly destroy all that I have. Don't destroy Natalie by putting her through that  ordeal..."

        Stavros pondered his words for a long moment, until  finally nodding his head. "All right, Nicholas. We'll do it  your way. But there will be a restriction."

        "Anything," Nick said, breathing a deep sigh of relief.

        "She must not go to a doctor, or hospital, even to give  birth." At Nick's look of protest, he explained, "This is my  only mandate. For if the child is born vampiric, all those  humans who witness the birth, with the exception of his  mother, will be destroyed. It is the Code."

        Nick nodded his assent.

        "When the time comes, we will send an observer to verify it the child is human or not. Don't worry. I will choose someone who will not frighten her."

        "Thank you," Nick said softly, understanding the concession this Elder was making for him.

        At that moment, Natalie returned, hesitating to see if their business had concluded. "It's okay, Nat," he told her. "Come sit down." He rose to pull out her chair, glancing at Stavros as the Elder seemed to stare in wonder at Natalie and the bulge where their child lay nestled.

        "When is your baby due?" he asked pleasantly.

        "December 15th," she replied, a little nervous at the way he was gazing at her, no, through her.

        "We should drink a toast to your child," he said, reaching into his cloak. The bottle he pulled out was unmistakably filled with the thick red liquid that Nick and Natalie had pointedly avoided for the last two months.

        “He' s testing me’, Nick thought to himself.

        As if in answer, Stavros filled a wine glass, offering it to him.

        "No, thank you," Nick told him, motioning to his own glass. "I think I'll stick to the White Zinfandel."

        "Have it your way," Stavros replied, seemingly unperturbed. But as he turned to Natalie, his eyes sparked with real interest. "Would you like some?"

        Nick held his breath as Natalie hesitated, the sight and aroma of the blood jarring her. But she knew somehow how important it was for her to force a smile and say, "No, thanks. Never touch the stuff."

        Stavros withdrew, but Nick knew that he had noticed Natalie's initial reaction. And it filled him with dread to imagine what the Elder must be thinking...

        "Well, then, I'll leave you two to your dinner." He took Natalie's hand, bending to kiss it with his cool lips. "Lovely to meet you, my dear." He nodded to Nick. "Nicholas....until we meet again."

        He was gone as quietly as he'd arrived.

        Natalie looked at Nick, her eyes clouding with concern. "What was that all about, Nick?" Her voice demanded an answer.

        He rose from his seat. "We can't talk about it here. Do you mind if we leave?"

        She gathered her things and stood. "That's okay, I think I lost my appetite for dessert."

He slipped an arm around her shoulders protectively. "Me too," he murmured.

       

        Once the car had gotten under way, she turned to him. "Okay, do you want to tell me just who that was?"

        "An Elder," he replied, keeping his eyes on the road. "One of the most powerful in existence."

        '"You know him." It wasn't a question.

        "Yes. He's the one who came to take Daniel away from us..."

       

        Daniel's eyes were filled with terror. "Don't let him take me, Nicky. Please. I want to stay with you..."

        "Why must you take him away, Stavros?" Nick challenged him. "He's just a boy. He's frightened..."

        "Ah, more than a boy, Nicholas. A boy who is now one of us. A great experiment. We can not leave him in LaCroix' s hands. He just be trained, studied..."

        "We can teach him," Nick implored. "Care for him, teach him the ways of our kind..."

        "He's too important," Stavros replied. "Important to us all." He turned to the boy, his hand extended. "Come, child."

        "No! Nicky!" He looked from Nick to Janette. "Princess, don't let them take me!"

        "I'm sorry, Daniel," Janette said helplessly, trying to keep back the tears. Nick put a comforting arm around her as Stavros led away the child who would be theirs...

       

        Natalie put a comforting hand on his arm, knowing how difficult it must have been. "Did you ever see him again?" she asked gently.

        "No." He answered without looking at her.

        "Nick," she began, not without trepidation. "What did he want tonight?"

        Before he could answer, he had reached the Raven, and pulled up in front. She looked at him in confusion. "What are we doing here?"

        He turned to her for the first time, and she could see the fear clouding his eyes. "Natalie, they've been watching us. Since we met, and especially since we conceived this child. I need to know more. Janette will have heard. She knows everything that goes on in Vampire Society in Toronto."

        Natalie nodded, not quite sure why she felt suddenly so uneasy. He took her hand as they made their way inside and through the crowd, to find Janette sitting at a corner table.

        "We need to talk," he said simply, without greeting. "He came to me tonight."

        Janette's eyes grew wide with concern as she led them silently to her private office, where they could converse unheard. "We knew it was only a matter of time," she said as she shut the door behind them. "Ever since they began asking questions..."

        And suddenly it occurred to Natalie, that whatever was going on, they both knew about it. Indignation began brewing inside her.

        She turned to Nick. "Wait, do you mean, you knew that someone was following us--" She motioned to Janette. "You both knew--and no one bothered to tell me?!"

        Nick took both her hands in his, and looked into her eyes. "Nat, I didn't want to burden you with this. You were ill, and upset...I didn't want to make things worse."

        "Don't you think I had a right to know? My God, Nick, I was walking around oblivious to the fact that I was being watched every minute--"

        "Nat, you were never out of my sight," he told her. "That night Janette came over to the loft, she told me that they were asking questions about me, you, and the baby--"

        "And you didn't think I should know," she stated angrily.

        "Nat, the next day was the day you drank blood. After that, we both stopped working, and I was with you every minute."

        "So that's why you insisted I move in with you?" she asked, suddenly questioning his motives.

        He shook his head. "That's only part of the reason. The truth is that I wanted to be there for you. I needed to be with you, just as you needed me. Protecting you was just another part of it."

        "Protecting me from what, Nick? What do they want?" Her anger was turning to real panic.

        Janette stepped toward them. "Natalie, Stavros was a great scientist. He still is. And he's fascinated by...experiments. Like Daniel." She paused. "Like your child."

        "This isn't an experiment!” she cried in outrage, clutching at her abdomen. "It's a baby!"

        "Not to Stavros," Nick told her grimly.

        "Nick, are you trying to tell me that he wants to take our baby away?" she asked in horror. "He can't! We won't let him..."

        Janette gazed sympathetically into her tear-filled eyes. "Natalie, no one can stop Stavros from doing what he wants. We are all powerless to defy him."

        Natalie looked to Nick, feeling suddenly helpless. "Nick?"

        "He won't take the baby," he assured her. "If it's born totally human, it'll be of no interest to him. He said so himself."

        "And if it's not?" she asked frantically. "Nick, I never ran any blood tests. We're not sure-- "

        He was at a loss for words. He couldn't lie to her about what would happen if the Elders had any indications that the baby had inherited any aspect of his vampiric nature.

        "What did he say, Nicolas?" Janette asked. "Why did he come now, tonight, when they birth is still four months away?"

        He hesitated, though he knew they were both awaiting his response. He gazed into Natalie's eyes, his own anguish showing through as he reached to caress her cheek. "He wanted to take her away," he whispered.

        "Take me? Take me where?" she asked in fear.

        "To Paris. To...observe you until the baby's born," he replied, each word painful to him.

        "I don't believe this...why won't they leave us alone?" she cried, clearly petrified. "Nick, you won't let them...?" she asked in a small voice.

        He gathered her into his arms, holding her tightly. "I'll never let them hurt you," he swore, closing his eyes as his own salt-water tears burned them. He kissed her forehead, repeating in a choked whisper, "Never!"

        Janette just watched them, feeling their pain. "Nick, how did you ever convince him to go without her?" she asked gently, knowing Stavros' strong will.

        "I told him how harmful it would be to Natalie and the baby," he replied as he led Natalie to the couch, still cradling her in his arms. "He said he would wait, and send an observer to see if the baby's born human."

        "That's why it's very important for you to stay away from the blood, Natalie," Janette said, kneeling beside them.

        "He tested us, Janette. Offered us blood. And he saw her hesitate. He must suspect something..."

        "I couldn't help it," Natalie told them. "The aroma--"

        "I know," Nick said, well aware of what a temptation it could be. "That just means it's still dormant in you. You're going to have to keep trying. It's the only way."

        "Did he say anything else, Nicolas?" Janette asked.

He nodded." She can't go to a doctor, or the hospital--just in case."

        Natalie looked at him in disbelief. "Just where am I supposed to give birth?"

        "In the loft. It's our home. You'll be comfortable there."

        "And what if there are complications?" Natalie began.

        "Nat, it was the only way I could get him to agree to let you stay with me," he told her firmly. "We don't have a choice."

        Her fear had begun to give way to anger once more.

        "It's not fair, Nick. And I still can't believe all this time you knew something like this might happen--"

        "He was protecting you, Natalie," Janette broke in. "What good would have done you to live in fear?"

        "I deserved to know the truth," she said stubbornly.

        "You needed to grow strong, and healthy," he responded. "That was my only concern." He paused. "It still is. The only way to get out of all this is for you to stay calm, and keep taking care of yourself and the baby."

        "Stay calm," she repeated. "And how do you propose we do that, knowing what might happen?"

        "We forget about it, and try to live our lives," he told her, running his hands through her hair.

        But the words were empty, and he knew it.

        He simply didn't know what else to say.

       

        Two weeks had passed without a sign of Stavros or his henchmen. No one had come to the Raven, and while Nick checked with Janette every day, she had nothing new to report.

        With each passing day, Nick's guilt grew more intense. He had, after all, involved Natalie in his life. For her love, she might pay dearly. But this time, he would not let guilt drive him away from her. He was determined to be there for her, care for her...

        He laid the glass of milk on the night stand, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her back was to him, and he studied her for a moment, wondering if she had fallen asleep. It was early evening, yet after showering and dressing, she had lain back down, claiming to be tired. But Nick knew that it was depression that had plagued her since that night at the restaurant. Her joyful anticipation of their child's birth had turned into helplessness and dread. Yet they had not spoken of it. What was there really to say? And as he witnessed the slow breakdown of her spirit, Nick had to confront his own powerlessness, faced with the reality that there might be nothing he could do to protect his own family. And his own inability to carry out this basic human instinct filled him with anger and frustration...

        He put his hand lightly on her arm. "Nat," he said softly. "Are you awake?"

        "Yes, " she replied emotionlessly.

        "I know you're not hungry, but I brought you some milk."

        "Thanks. Just leave it there."

        He sat there watching her silently for a few moments, wishing she would look at him. Finally, he said, "Natalie, we can't spend the next three and a half months like this. We'll both go crazy."

        She turned on her back to look up at him, her eyes betraying the tears long-dried. "What do you suggest we do?"

        He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know--why don't we go to a movie, or for a walk. You need some fresh air. We both do."

        "There's nowhere to go that they won't be watching us. I can't live like this...just waiting for them to come and--" She stopped mid-sentence, not wanting to even say it.

        Nick said nothing, but his face was filled with pain. He couldn't bear to see her like this. He tried to find a smile within himself, for her sake. "Hey, Nat, why don't you come downstairs? I have a surprise for you."

        She allowed him to lead her down the stairs slowly, his arm around her as he said, "I ordered some things through a catalog, and they were delivered while you were asleep..."

        In the middle of the living room sat a large collection of baby furniture and supplies: a big wooden crib painted white, a matching changing table with dresser drawers underneath, a dark blue carriage, a stroller, and packages filled with clothes. He pulled a receiving blanket and pajamas with tiny feet from the bag. "Look, I got yellow, since we don't know if it'll be a boy or a girl." He set down the delicate garments and went to the crib, where a huge white teddy bear sat. He picked it up, offering it to her. "I thought we'd go with the traditional teddy bear. The Barney fad will probably be over by the time the baby's watching tv."

        His smile, and the enthusiasm he'd been exuding, faded as he saw the tears filling her eyes. "Is this some kind of joke, Nick?"

        His heart fell as he realized that in his attempt to cheer her, he'd only made things worse. "Nat, I just wanted to surprise you...plan for our future...It's only fourteen weeks away...we said we were going to buy some things..."

        "That was before we knew that someone would be waiting to take our baby away as soon as it's born--"

        She clutched at the teddy bear he'd handed her, falling slowly onto the couch, staring blankly ahead. When she finally spoke, her words, filled with defeat, brought tears to his eyes. "Maybe you can just give this all to Stavros with the baby," she whispered.

        He fell to his knees before her, his love for her and need to protect her overpowering all else. "Nat, no one is taking our baby from us," he promised, taking her face in his hands and forcing her to look at him. "I told you, there's no reason at all to doubt that this child will be totally human."

        "How can you be so sure?"

        He wasn't. But for her, he had to be. "I am," he reassured her.

        "I just can't stand sitting here waiting...being watched...wondering if at any moment they might come..."

        Fear welled inside him at her words. He knew he could trust Stavros. But it had occurred to him that Stavros did not necessarily have the final word amongst the Elders. He had not even allowed himself to think of what he would do if Stavros were to be forced to go against his word, and come for Natalie now...He knew he would never see her again. She, and the baby, would be lost to him. He fought desperately to control his rising panic as she repeated, "It's the waiting that's killing me..."

        "Then we won't wait," he told her suddenly.

        "What--?"

        "We'll go away, Nat. Leave Toronto. Go off to some isolated place where they won't be watching us. Where we can live in peace until it's closer to the time."

        She was contemplating his words, but knew the danger. "They'll follow us..."

        He shook his head, his eyes lighting up as the perfect plan unraveled. "Nat, they can only follow us at night. We'll travel by day. I can stay in the trunk, and you can drive. It' s perfect."

        "I don't know," she said dubiously.

        "Listen to me," he said, bringing himself up to the couch to face her, his hands resting lightly on her arms. "We can't have you a nervous wreck for the next three and a half months. It's not good for you, or the baby."

        "I don't know..."

        "Nat, the waiting is driving me crazy, too. I really need to get away, be alone with you, so we can enjoy this time together. We deserve it."

        She looked into his eyes, the ray of hope there becoming infectious. "Where would we go?" she asked, beginning to consider it.

        "Schanke's cottage up north. He just told me today that they closed it up for the winter this past weekend. There's no danger of anyone showing up, and if Schanke doesn't know, no one can get information out of him."

        She smiled slightly. "I guess if we could pull it off--"

        He grinned broadly, wrapping his arms around her. "Of course we can. Look, it's only eight-thirty. Why don't we make a list of what we'll need, get some rest, and then as soon as it's light you can get to the stores without anyone seeing you. I'll help you pack things up, and we can leave by mid-afternoon."

        She nodded, then kissed him. They needed this. She needed this.

        And as he held her against his chest, his smile slowly faded. He couldn't tell her that this would be more than just a reprieve. If he had his way, they would stay away until the baby was born. And if by some small chance their child should be born with any signs of his curse...

        They would never come back.

       

        Natalie filled her cart with all the medical supplies they might need on their journey. Nick was right--if she went into premature labor, they'd have to be prepared. Satisfied that she had found all she could, she went to the cashier.

        And as the girl rang up her order, she saw them. She'd never bought them before, never really had to. But she thought now of the last time she and Nick had been lying in bed together...Nick had told her that he now felt he could control himself, yet still feared reinfecting her with his bodily fluids. The solution was right in front of her.

        "Could I please have a box of...those?" she stammered, embarrassed, as she pointed at the lubricated latex condoms.

        Her awkwardness mounted as the sales girl glanced at her strangely, until she realized why. In her condition, buying condoms probably seemed like shutting the barn door after the horse was already out! She smiled to herself as she took her change. Who cared what anyone thought! Soon, she and Nick would be alone, safe...and in each other's arms once more.

       

        The sun was already high in the sky as Natalie drove away from the city. At her side, Sidney sat complacently in his carrier, while the back seat was stuffed with clothes, food, supplies, and whatever personal items they'd been able to fit. For some reason, as she sat behind the wheel heavy with child, the image of Linda Hamilton in the last scene of The Terminator came to her mind. Where had she been escaping to--Mexico? She laughed as she mumbled to Sidney, "I feel just like Sarah Connor. The only difference is that you're not a guard dog, and I don't think she had anyone riding in the trunk."

        From his resting place, Nick smiled as his acute hearing brought her remark to him. He longed to be out there with her...

        He shifted uncomfortably, wishing he could sleep. But until he and Natalie were safely away, he would find no peace.

        Hours later, as the late summer sky turned crimson with the setting sun, Natalie stopped on the shoulder of the deserted road, tapping on the trunk. From the inside it opened, as Nick yawned and stretched, hopping out as the sun slipped below the horizon.

        "Good morning...or is it good evening?" she said cheerily as he hugged her.

        "How do you feel?" he asked.

        "Okay. Just tired. We're almost there."

        He kissed her on the cheek, going to open the passenger door for her. "Sorry, Sidney, you're going to have to go on the floor," he told the cat as he helped Natalie into the seat.

        He hopped in beside her, his energy returning. "This countryside is beautiful," he commented as the Caddy moved into a leisurely motion once more.

        "According to this map, it's probably right past the town. . ."

        They were driving through a small village, dotted with quaint houses and no more than five or six stores. The town hall was a tiny house on a lush green lawn, not far from what must have been the town's only church. Nick found himself thinking back to the small church houses in France when he was an altar boy...

        "It's lovely, isn't it?" Natalie asked, catching his gaze as he stopped for a red light.

        "Yes," he murmured, then turned to her. "Natalie, maybe it's just my thirteenth century morals rising to the surface..." He took her hand. "But I wish we could get married before the baby's born."

        He could see the same desire in her eyes. But she said, "Nick, we already talked about this. You know churches are still a problem for you."

        He breathed deeply. While his tolerance to the sun, garlic, crosses, and other holy symbols had slowly increased, a visit to St. John's had still filled him with discomfort, anxiety... "I know, Nat. I just wish--"

        "So do I," she broke in. "But I also want our wedding day to be the happiest day of our lives. Could it really be, with all this hanging over our heads?"

        "I guess not," he said, looking down to her abdomen, guilt invading his being.

        "Look, Nick, we could get married in a civil service if we wanted. But I don't think the legal aspect of it is what' s important to either of us. It's having God bless our union. . ."

        He looked into her eyes, smiling as he brought his hand up to her cheek. "He already has."

        She leaned against him as the light turned green and he drove on towards their private sanctuary.

        

        The cottage was on an isolated stretch of land, miles from neighbors or the village whose quaint little church had filled them both with a bittersweet longing. Nick carried in their things while Natalie explored the Schankes' summer home. She turned up the thermostat to seventy-five degrees, shivering at the chill in the air, but glad that Don and Myra had decided to winterize the year before. "Are you sure they won't be coming up here?" she asked, examining a collage of family photos hanging over the mantle.

        "Positive," he called from the kitchen as he put their food away. He peeked into the living room. "Nat, would you please check all the windows for me? I'll set up Sidney's box, and then we can relax--"

        When they'd completed their respective chores, and had a bite to eat, they collapsed together on the couch. Natalie closed her eyes as she lay against his chest. "I'm so tired..."

        "So am I," he said, playing with her hair. It was still early evening, but only now that they were safe could he truly relax. His lack of good sleep was beginning to catch up with him. "What do you say we go to bed?"

        She smiled, still snuggling against him. "You're lucky I'm so sleepy, or I might ask you how you meant that..."

        He grinned as he carried her to the bed. "If I weren't so tired, I might show you," he replied as he lay her down. He settled beside her, taking her into his arms for a long, deep kiss. "I'm so glad we came here," he whispered in her ear.

        "So am I," she said, cuddling against him. She laughed lightly. "Although, the thought of lying in Schanke and Myra's bed--"

        "What they don't know won't hurt them," he said, finding her lips once more.

        And later, as she slept in his arms, he tried to suppress the passion which his closeness to her aroused. He wanted her so badly...needed her...but until he could be sure that their union wouldn't harm her...

        ‘I can wait. We have the time now, Nat. I'll keep you safe. And someday soon...’

        He held her tightly, possessively, as he fell into his first peaceful sleep in weeks.

       

        The Indian summer had been a blessing over the last two weeks, as Nick and Natalie had slowly allowed themselves to slip into a simpler way of life. The warm September evenings had afforded them the luxury of long walks in the forest, midnight swims, and nights of lying outside on the grass looking up at the immense star field rarely visible through the bright lights of Toronto. Nick had even ventured finally outside in the day, excited by his increasing ability to withstand the sun for limited periods of time. His humanity, and the birth of their child, drew wondrously near.

        It was after one of their daytime jaunts into town to shop, that Nick hesitated outside the door, lifting up his face, closing his eyes to feel the warm rays of sunlight. She came up behind him, reaching to kiss him on the neck. "Don't overdo it, sweetie," she whispered.

        He stood a moment, excited by the touch of her lips, the feel of her soft breath... When she separated from him, he smiled at her, nodding. "Let's go inside."

        And as she closed the door behind them, he took her into his arms, kissing her hungrily. "I love you," he breathed. He held her against him, closing his eyes in frustration as he buried his face in her hair. "Oh, God, Natalie, I want you so badly."

        "Then make love to me," she said. "Nick, I need you. It's been so long..."

        He pulled away to look into her eyes. "Nat, I'm afraid to--"

        "You can control the vampire. You've come so far--"

        "I know. But I can't take a chance of infecting you again, of making you sick."

        He was puzzled by the smile on her face as she said, "I think I know a way of getting around that."

        Curiously, he let her lead him to the bedroom. She motioned for him to sit down as she pulled a package from her purse and handed it to him.

        He looked up at her in surprise. "Condoms? Will these really work?"

"Of course they will. 95% effective."

        He hesitated. "What about the other 5%? Nat, I don't want to take a chance--"

        "Nick, listen to me. Whatever is dormant in you, is probably dormant in me, too. From a medical standpoint, I really don't think your blood would have any effect on me at all at this stage. But if we want to be sure, for the baby's sake, this is the best way." She paused, uncomfortable pressing him. She had, after all, waited for him to broach the subject. She relaxed to see him smile slightly.

        "You had these all the time, didn't you?" he asked.

        "Well..."

        He took one out of the box, looking at it as sudden embarrassment crossed his eyes. "Nat, I don't know how to say this, but..." He looked up at her, his face flushing slightly. "...I never used one of these. I don't think...I know how..."

        He was afraid she might laugh. But her expression was one of understanding as she said, "It's okay. I can show you. . ."

        She took it from his hand, setting it on the night stand. She was ever-amazed at the innocence and naiveté of someone who had lived so many lives...perhaps it was what made him so endearing. She reached up to touch his face, bringing his lips to hers. "I love you," she said simply.

        And suddenly she knew that he was ready to drop the wall that he'd so carefully maintained to protect her and the baby from harm. For knowing now that he could have her without risk, without danger, he was truly free. To hold her, to love her...

        With a greater hunger than blood had ever driven in him, he kissed her passionately, his mouth exploring hers as his hands gently began to undress her. And as his lips found the softness of her breasts, she sighed in pleasure as his tongue began to taste her, tease her. Her fingers laced around his neck, caressing his hair, making their way down to his shirt, unbuttoning it, as his lips joined hers once more in a slow, sensuous kiss. And now it was her turn to move down his body, along his perfect chest, the hair on his stomach tickling her as she moved downward. He lay there in ecstasy as she undressed him, releasing him, tasting him, playing with him with her tongue, taking him into the sanctuary of her mouth, aroused by her own power to bring him such pleasure. She could hear him moaning in delight, feel his hands running loving through her hair...and then he was gently lifting her head from him, bringing it up to kiss her, as his hands reached for her own warmth. He smiled at her as he felt the heat of her own arousal, then bent down to taste her, to pleasure her as she had him. She held his head there, quivering at the touch of his tongue on her most intimate self, her body reaching up instinctively to meet the tender caresses of his mouth...

        And as her body burned for him, he rose to look at her, whispering, "Natalie, I want to be inside you..." She reached for the condom, ripping open the package, taking him into her hands, caressing him as he pulsed at her touch. He watched, entranced, as she slid the condom on...

        She fell back now, waiting for him, inviting him. He looked down at her, touching her abdomen lightly. "Is it okay like this?" he asked hesitantly. At her smile of assurance, he carefully lay himself on top of her, entering her, dancing inside her, ever aware of their child, the product of their love, nestled between their bodies as they melded into one.

        Natalie held tightly to him, the fire between her legs almost unbearable as she rose up to meet him in swift, desperate movements. The frustrated desire that had tortured them both for months was driving them now, as they clung to each other in a wild quest for relief. Natalie cried out as her passion suddenly reached its pinnacle, feeling her insides contract violently, uncontrollably. This was all that Nick needed. The warm pulsing rush of her climax brought him to his own, as he erupted inside her.

        Nick held her for a long moment, then sighed deeply as he lay on his back, letting her remove the condom, disposing of it. She settled back into his arms, and he hugged her tightly. "I love you so much," he whispered as he brought the cover up over them.

        "I love you," she replied, relishing the sensation of his naked skin against hers.

        They slept together for the rest of the night and day.

       

        A week later...

        She awoke to his warm caress, his fingers running lightly down her neck, to her breast. He cupped her gently in his hand as his lips went to hers. She responded with a hungry kiss, as she drew him close, excited by the sensation of his arousal against her. His hand moved down to touch her, ready her...

        And suddenly he tensed, pulling away. "My God, Natalie.."

        She gasped as she looked at his hand covered with blood...her own.

        Her heart was beating rapidly as he led her to the bathroom, and she closed the door to be alone. No, there was no doubt...

        The fear on his face matched her own as she left the bathroom, gladly accepting the robe he wrapped around her. "Nat, what is it?! Why are you bleeding?"

        "I don't know," she replied, shaken, as he put her back in bed. He sat beside her, holding her hand between his. Guilt mixed with his terror. "Nat, is it because we...?!"

        She shook her head, trying to regain her composure for his sake. "No. I don't think so. It's common to stain, or bleed. My sister-in-law did at six months..."

        "What did they do for her?" he asked anxiously. He kissed her hand. "What can I do for you?"

        "Nothing. She was in the hospital a couple of days...then had to stay in bed for another ten weeks. It'll be okay--" she looked at him, her eyes betraying her own fright. "--as long as it stops."

       

        For the rest of the day, he made her stay in bed, first bringing her food and drink, then lying down to hold her. By nightfall, the bleeding had ceased completely, and they both breathed a sigh of relief.

        "It'll be okay, now," she assured him, as they lay face to face. "I just need to stay in bed."

        But his face was still filled with worry. "Nat, I don't have to tell you how frightened I was--I still am."

        "There's no need to be. It stopped--"

        "But it happened. You have to see a doctor."

        She shook her head. "We both know I can't do that."

        "I know. But Nat, it occurred to me that I don't even know where the closest hospital is--certainly a long drive. And I can't fly anymore. What would I have done? What could I do if it happened again--if you really needed help?"

        She knew what he was getting at, and it filled her with dread. "Look, Nick, if we're here or in Toronto--what's the difference? You promised Stavros we wouldn't go to a hospital--"

        "The difference," he said tenderly, "is that if something happens to you in Toronto, I will take you to a hospital--no matter what Stavros said. I won't risk your life or our baby's."

        "Nick, please..." she begged, tears filling her eyes. "I don't want to go back."

        "We have to, my love," he whispered.

        And she knew he was right. She moved closer to him, burying her head in his chest. Maybe they would have to leave their idyllic hideaway. But for now, they were here. She closed her eyes, trying to make it all go away.

       

        Nick's face was grim as he drove back towards Toronto, and the possible danger that he'd wanted so desperately to avoid. He glanced at Natalie, dozing peacefully at his side. The foreboding that had nearly vanished over the last four weeks had suddenly returned, as the city lights came into view. It had seemed such a perfect plan--keep her hidden away until the baby's birth, and after, if it were necessary. But he hadn't anticipated the problems that had developed with her pregnancy. Her health, and the baby's, were the paramount issues now. She had to be in safe distance of a hospital, just in case. If Stavros disapproved, Nick would deal with him later. And if they should come for her, or the baby...

        ...he would fight with every last breath to protect them.

        He looked once more to Natalie's serene form. After a week's rest, she had come to terms with what they must do. And he knew that their brief time away had lifted her spirits, their renewed intimacy given them both strength to go on. He would conceal his own trepidation from her, veil it in hope. He had to.

       

        Natalie had gone to bed, and he sat alone in the living room, waiting....for what? He didn't know. Perhaps some sign that they had been here...

        He pressed the recall button on the answering machine, listening to a myriad of concerned messages...Schanke, Grace, Schanke, Schanke, Janette, Janette, Janette...

        He dialed her number. "Janette?"

        "Nicolas, where have you been?" Her voice was filled with a mixture of anger and worry.

        He began to tell her, but she stopped him. "I'm coming over." He heard her sports car moments later, then waited as the elevator door opened. "How could you just go off like that without telling me?" she complained the moment she stepped out.

        He held a finger to his lips. "Nat's sleeping upstairs," he told her.

        "At least you're both all right. I didn't know what to think!" she said in a hushed whisper.

        "I'm sorry, Janette. I didn't want to involve anyone else--for your safety and ours." "I already am involved just by virtue of our friendship," she replied, and he knew she meant it. He gave her a hug, kissing her lightly. It was good to see her, and know once more that she was there for both of them.

        "I'm sorry, Janette."

        "What did you think you were doing, Nick?" she asked, separating from him. "If Stavros had come by looking for you--"

        "Then there was no one," he said in relief.

        She shook her head. "Not as far as I know. But you took a chance of angering them--"

        "He never said we had to stay in town. We had to get away."

        "Until the birth--or permanently?" she asked, knowing him too well.

        "I don't even know," he admitted. "Janette, I was afraid of losing Natalie and the baby." He paused, looking into her eyes. "I still am."

        She put a hand on his arm." I know, cheri. But you can't think of that now. And you mustn't let Natalie feel that from you."

        He told her why he had decided to come back.

        "Then you must keep her calm. And plan for the birth. Now, who will you have in attendance?"

        "What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

        "There are many of our kind who are doctors--"

        "No," he said adamantly. "No strangers. She wouldn't want that. She's a doctor. And I have been, too...

        "Then it will just be us?" she asked.

        He raised an eyebrow and smiled, "Us?"

        "You'll need help, Nicolas. Remember--you're the father. You may panic."

        "Janette, that's really not--"

        "Darling, you forget I was the eldest of eight children, five of whom I helped the midwife to deliver."

        Nick looked at her dubiously. "Uh, Janette, that was eight hundred years ago--"

        She flashed him a knowing smile. "I have a very good memory."

        He smiled, quite touched by her willingness to help. "Okay. I'll mention it to Nat." He kissed her, a kiss much friendlier in nature than their usual. "Thank you."

        She raised an eyebrow, a playful warning in her eyes. "Just don't tell anyone that I've grown soft-hearted towards humans. It's just a vicious rumor."

       

        Daniel' s eyes glowed amber, his fangs extended as he fought to free himself from Stavros' grasp. "Nicky, help me" he pleaded, struggling. Nick's entire being filled with anger as he watched, helpless...

        Suddenly Daniel was gone. And Natalie stood before him in a flowing white gown, an angelic infant in her arms. She smiled at Nick, holding the child out to him. Her eyes were filled with tears of joy as she whispered, "We have a son..."

        Exhilaration welled in him as he reached for the baby...when a tall dark figure ripped the child from his mother's grasp. Natalie screamed as her son's abductor disappeared in the distance, a great bird in flight. Frantic, Nick took off after him...but his legs were like lead, unable to move.

        "Nick, please, do something!" Natalie cried hysterically.

        But once more he was helpless.

       

        He awoke with a start, sweat drenching his pillow. Where was he? What had happened?

        He sighed in relief as his head cleared. He was in bed. It had been a dream. Natalie was snuggled against him, her back to him, just as she'd been when they'd made love. He buried his face in the scent of her hair, the arm around her coming to rest on her abdomen. Yes, a dream. The baby was still safe in his mother's womb.

        Two months had passed since their return. And while he'd managed to convince Natalie that everything would be all right, his own nerves had deteriorated. Hence, his latest nightmare.

        When would it end?

        He held onto her just a bit more tightly as he willed himself back to sleep. He prayed he wouldn't dream.

       

        The cold November wind was biting, but Natalie found it refreshing. As much as she loved Toronto's fleeting summer, the wintertime did have its charm. And with Nick to hold her at night, the winter didn't seem quite so cold...

        She smiled as she thought of him, and the way he'd cared for her over the past few months. So loving, so thoughtful, so protective. And as the excitement mounted over their baby's coming birth, her fear over what might happen had slowly dissipated. The baby would be human. They all were now. That other world slipped further and further away...

        She stopped into the corner store, said hello to the old man who'd gotten to know her, and headed straight towards her destination--the ice cream freezer. Nick had laughed at her midnight cravings, but she'd reminded him that there were far worse things she could crave...

        They'd returned from their Lamaze class, practiced her breathing exercises, then fallen asleep watching an old movie. She'd awakened to images of ice cream sundaes, and a freezer devoid of anything that might satisfy her urge. Nick hadn't really let her out of his sight since they'd returned, but how could she wake him from such a peaceful sleep? With a brief kiss that she hoped would penetrate his dreams, she'd grabbed her coat for a quick trip to the store, leaving him a note in case he should awaken.

        Now, with the intensity of a woman on a mission, she studied her choices, settling finally on Heavenly Hash for herself, and a Cookie Dough for Nick. Maybe she'd mix them...

        It wasn't until she'd ventured back into the cold that she saw him. With light brown hair and eyes, a young boy, no older that eleven or twelve, stood watching her. Something in his gaze made her uneasy, but her curiosity obscured her apprehension.

        "Isn't it a little late for you to be out alone?" she asked in a maternal tone.

        "Not really, Miss. I like the night." An accent. British was her first guess.

        Their eyes locked for a moment, and she felt as if he were delving into her mind. She shook the feeling off, attributing it to...anything but what she most feared. ‘It' s a little boy. That's all,’ she told herself. Another voice whispered, ‘Don't be afraid.’ She could hear it more easily than obey it.

        "When's your baby due?" the child was asking pleasantly.

        She hesitated, until she realized that in her state it was an obvious question. "Three weeks," she replied, then glanced up at their apartment. "Well, I'd better be going." Then, as an afterthought, "You really shouldn't be out here. It's not safe."

       

She had already hurried back to the house before he responded softly, "No, Natalie. It's not."

       

        The elevator door slid open and Nick was waiting for her with a worried look on his face. "Nat, where did you think you were going at this hour?"

        "For ice cream. Didn't you get my note?"

        "Yeah, I got it," he replied, taking the package from her. He set it down, then hugged her. "I'm sorry, I was just worried. The phone woke me up, and when I didn't see you, I panicked."

        "I'm sorry for worrying you," she told him, warming her cheek against his, for a change.

        "Just don't do it again," he breathed, closing his eyes as he found her lips.

        They were interrupted by the ring of his door buzzer. He went to the monitor, where the black and white screen made Janette seem even more pale against her dark attire. "Nicolas," she was saying impatiently, "don't make me do this human thing to the hilt, or I'll just fly through the window--"

        He smiled as he buzzed her in. She was trying.

        "At least she doesn't just barge in," Natalie commented.

        She's making an attempt to respect our privacy," he pointed out sheepishly. "She's the one who called and woke me. She wanted to bring us a present for the baby."

        "That's...very nice," Natalie said, trying to sound good-natured. She had only seen Janette once since the blood episode, an awkward meeting where Natalie had attempted to free herself of even the slightest hint of jealousy. Not that she didn't still feel it at times--but now that she was in control, she would never again betray her insecurity to Nick's ageless friend.

        "These elevators are so slow," Janette was complaining as she appeared. She pulled down the black hood, shaking her hair out as Nick helped her off with her cape. "Bonsoir, Nicolas," she said pleasantly, giving him a brief kiss on the cheek. She turned to Natalie. "And how are you feeling? My, you look just about ready to pop!"

        Nick looked at Natalie quickly, dreading the cat fight he feared might erupt. He was proud of Natalie as she merely responded, "I've been feeling ready to for a while now, but it just keeps getting bigger..."

        But it was clear to both of them at once that Janette's comment had not been intended as it had turned out. For her eyes were filled with a real...admiration? "You're very lucky, Natalie," she intimated as the women sat down. "This is the one thing...probably the only thing...I regret about my immortality."

        Natalie smiled, affected by Janette's sincerity, almost feeling sorry for her! And as she realized what Janette had always known, that this was the one part of Nick that Janette could never have, the last tinge of jealousy was gone once and for all. As if sensing his mother's contentment, Baby Knight began to kick furiously. She laughed. "I think he's trying to get out," she commented, then, at Janette's look of surprise, offered, "Would you like to feel it, Janette?"

        "May I?" she asked, and at Natalie's nod, lightly placed her cool hand on Natalie's abdomen. Her eternal eyes lit up in wonder as she felt the child's movement, sensing its very essence. Death meeting Life.

        Nick watched her reaction with a smile, beaming as he sat beside Natalie, putting his arm around her. "It's amazing, isn't it, Janette?"

        "Yes," she said as she took her hand away, a wistful look suddenly appearing in her eyes. She forced it away, as she rummaged in her bag for the small package wrapped elegantly in gold foil. "This is for the baby. I hope you both like it."

        Natalie accepted the gift, thanking her, looking at Nick, who nodded for her to open it. The small white satin garment, with its delicate lace decoration, left them both breathless. "Janette, it's beautiful," Natalie told her, then, after a pause where realization hit, "It's a Christening gown..."

        "Nicolas told me your plans to baptize the child," she explained, obviously uncomfortable with the subject. "It reminded me of the kind we used to have in France. Of course, I won't be able to make the ceremony," she said, attempting to lighten the moment, "but I wanted you to know I wish you well."

        "Thank you," Natalie said warmly, impulsively giving her a hug.

        "Thank you, Janette." Nick was so moved by her gesture, he could find no other words. He kissed her lightly on the cheek.

        "You're both very welcome." She smiled slightly, and Nick once again was struck by how much her attitude had changed, as she'd come to accept his decision, his mortality...and Natalie.

        "Janette, Nick's told me that you've offered to help with the birth. I really appreciate it."

        "Well, you need to have another woman there," Janette replied. "Besides, I'm sure Nick will be a nervous wreck."

        "I will not," he responded in mock defensiveness.

        "You are already," Natalie chided him, then put her hand on his. "I'm sure you'll do fine."

        The conversation went on to other things: children, parenting, and how frightening it could be to raise a child in today's world.

        "Some parents just don't seem to care," Natalie was saying. "Why, I just saw a little boy outside on the street all alone--he couldn't have been more than ten or twelve, and it was almost midnight."

        The hair on Nick's neck bristled at her words. "Outside here, Nat?"

        "Yeah, when I went for ice cream."

        "What did he look like? Did he talk to you?"

        "Yes, in fact, he had an accent. British I think. He was about this tall, with light brown hair, brown eyes...Nick? Why is this important?" She could see Nick glance worriedly at Janette, who was returning the same concern.

        "Daniel," Janette whispered.

        "What?" Natalie asked, her eyes filling with fear.

        "So you remember me, Princess."

        They turned as one to see the figure that had suddenly appeared by the window. Natalie recognized the child from the grocery store, while Nick and Janette saw the boy who'd been taken away so long ago.

        "Daniel," Nick said, standing.

        "Hello, Nicky. Good to see you again.

        "What are you doing here?" he demanded, furious at Daniel's having found a way into his home, much less having approached Natalie alone. Natalie had come to stand beside him, and he stepped in front of her, shielding her with his body.

        "What kind of greeting is that? I thought you'd be glad to see me after all these years."

        The sincere disappointment, on the face that still belonged to a boy he'd grown to care for, pulled at Nick's paternal heartstrings. He had to remind himself that this was no longer a boy, but a creature that had killed to survive his last eighty years. How had that existence transformed him?

        "Of course we're glad to see you, Daniel," Janette said, going to him. "We're just surprised. Until Stavros came, we didn't even know what had happened to you."

        "He sent you, didn't he?" Nick accused, still keeping himself between the young vampire and Natalie.

        "Fitting isn't it?" Daniel walked around to face him.

        "One experiment sent to witness the birth of the second."

        Anger flared in Nick's eyes. "There's no experiment here. I've told Stavros that. Just a child. A human child."

        "Like I was?" Daniel retorted bitterly. "Poor Nicky, still trying to live a normal life and play 'daddy'. What makes you think you can protect this child any more than you did me? If the Elders want it, they'll have it."

        Daniel's resentment fueled the flame of Nick's guilt. ‘I did let him down. And he can't forget it either.’ His face softened. "Daniel, I know I let you down. But I tried to make you run away before LaCroix could bring you over. You know that."

        "Yes, I do," he admitted hesitantly, before his angry countenance returned. "But you should never have taken me in in the first place," he snapped. He glanced from Janette back to Nick. "Neither of you. You had to know what LaCroix would do."

        "We wanted to care for you, Daniel, that's all," Janette broke in sincerely.

        "Well, you failed," he responded brusquely. "Do you know what my life has been? A mature mind trapped in the body of a boy? I fit in nowhere! Forever a child to the mortal world, unable to even pretend to be a mortal man. And to those of our kind, I'm but an oddity, a freak, LaCroix's experiment." He glared at Nick. "Here you stand with a beautiful woman by your side...such pleasures could never be mine, in the mortal world or in ours. For eighty years the Elders have kept me under their close watch, their observation, monitoring my every move. You complain of your own existence, while yours has been a paradise compared to mine. At least you had the freedom to choose your way. I have never enjoyed such liberties." He paused, looking into Nick's eyes. "And I never will until--"

        "--until they find some other experiment to keep their interest," Nick finished for him. "Isn't that it, Daniel? You want them to take our baby so that they'll leave you alone."

        "No..." he heard Natalie say from behind him.

        Nick's gaze was unswerving. "Isn't it true, Daniel?"

        "Yes, it will free me," he conceded. "But regardless, they want your child. And they always get what they want, don't they, Nicky?"

        Nick shook his head. "Not this time," he said firmly.

        "And how do you propose to stop them? From what I've seen and heard, you're virtually mortal now."

        "And so is our child," Nick replied. "Making it of no interest to them."

        "We'll see, won't we?" Daniel's voice was as ominous as his words, both incongruous with the face of the child he once was, and would always be. "I've been sent to observe...and report back to them. Suppose I don't think it's possible to determine at birth the true nature of the child? I may recommend they observe it further..."

        Nick could feel Natalie's nails digging into his arm as his own anger welled. "I will not let you take our child just to avenge what was done to you eighty years ago. LaCroix was responsible; I was not. I won't let you sacrifice an innocent baby to buy your own freedom."

        "I'd call it bloody fair; you couldn't save me, but your child can--"

        "Nothing will save you from your existence except yourself," Nick told him in quiet fury.

        "Become human like you?" he asked in amusement.

        "Perhaps," Nick replied, deadly serious. "Or end it all if you wish. Those are your options. But you will not use our child for your purposes. I would die before letting anyone take Natalie or the baby from me. And I will destroy you or anyone who tries."

        Daniel regarded him for a moment, the amusement washing from his face as he considered Nick's words. He looked from Natalie to Nick, from the fear in her eyes, to the determination in his. He watched as Nick slowly slipped his arm around Natalie, holding her protectively, as if defying Daniel to intrude upon their little world. Daniel moved towards the door slowly, looking back at them before he made his exit.

        "I will be back when the time comes," he said simply.

        As soon as the door had slid shut, Nick turned to Natalie. "It'll be all right. I don't want you to worry about this."

        But panic had already begun to set in. In his arms, Nick could feel her trembling. "Not worry? Nick, he doesn't care if the baby is human or not! He intends on taking it anyway!"

        "He's not going to," Nick promised her. "None of them will."

        "My God, Nick, how can we stop them?" she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "What are we going to--oh!" Her face registered more surprise than pain as she reached down to her abdomen.

         "Nat, what is it?" he asked, alarmed, as Janette came closer.

        She looked up at him, a mixture of wonder and dread in her eyes. "It was a contraction. I think I'm going into labor."

       

        Nick had taken her up to the bedroom, making her lie down to wait for the next contraction. It came an hour and a half later, then another an hour after that. He sat beside her, watching her worriedly as she and Janette tried to reassure him.

        "It's too early," he kept saying.

        "It was the stress, Nicolas," Janette told him. "Don't panic, please. It won't help."

        "It's okay," Natalie said. "It's the eight month. The baby's already turned."

        "It's their fault," he muttered under his breath, bitterly.

        "That doesn't matter, now," Janette chastised him. The most important thing is for Natalie to rest. She may have a long labor ahead of her."

        Nick nodded, knowing he had to get a grip on his own emotions for her sake.

        "And since we'll be here for a while, I think I should go back to my place and get some things," Janette added.

        Natalie looked up at her with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "You can always borrow my clothes..."

        "Thank you. I think I'll pass," she replied in the same spirit. "Besides, if I'm going to be here for a while, I think I should get something to drink. Your cupboards are bare."

        "That's a matter of opinion," Natalie replied.

        Nick looked from one to the other. "How can you two joke at a time like this?" he asked nervously.

        Janette laughed. "Calm down, Nicolas. We've got a long wait."

        He watched her leave, his brow wrinkling with anxiety as he wondered suddenly what he would do if the time came before she returned. "She's right, Nick," Natalie said quietly at his side. "We have to keep calm."

        He sat beside her, taking her hand as he looked into her eyes, so serene now, so devoid of fear.

        "Are you all right?" he asked.

        She nodded. "I have to be. I'm trying not to think about anything but the baby."

        He leaned his head closer to hers, glad that they were alone now, kissing her tenderly. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her tight embrace the only indication of how truly afraid she was. As she leaned back on the pillow he smiled at her, admiring, as always, her strength.

        "You know, we haven't even had time to think of a name," he said, trying to keep the conversation light.

"Well, if it's a boy, I think we should name him Nicholas, Jr."

        He made a face. "No. There' s been a Nicholas around for eight hundred years."

        "Well, do you have a better idea?" she challenged.

        He nodded. "How about Richard?" he suggested softly.

        Natalie's face brightened, his sentiment touching her deeply. To give new life, in a way, to the brother they had been unable to save... "Okay," she said. "And if it's a girl--is there someone you'd like to name her for?"

He thought a moment. "I suppose 'Natalie' is out of the question."

        "Yup."

        He considered a bit longer, then finally said, "Joan."

        Natalie smiled, understanding. Joan of Arc. The woman who had made him believe he could regain his faith. "That's a beautiful name. And I think she would appreciate it."

        Suddenly, the pain began to surge again, heading towards its peak. Nick could see it in her face, and squeezed her hand, reminding her to breathe, as they had learned in the Lamaze class. When it had subsided, she lay back on the pillow with a deep sigh of relief. "That one was bad. How long was it since the last?"

        "A half hour," he replied, trying to obscure his worry.

        She smiled wanly. "I don't even want to think of how bad it's going to get. I'm really a coward, you know."

        Nick shook his head. "No. Not you. I'm the one who's scared to death. It's your courage and hope that got us this far in the first place."

        She caressed his hand against her cheek. "We did it together," she said softly, then added with a light laugh, "Especially this."

        Nick gave her a kiss. "Is there anything I can do for you ?"

        "Just stay here with me," she replied as her eyes closed. He watched her pensively as she rested in anticipation of what was to come.

       

        "Breathe, Nat, breathe..." Nick was saying as she panted wildly, clutching at his hand.

        "God, it's awful," she cried, tears streaming down her face. There was no respite between contractions now, just one continuous pain as the baby slowly made its way down her birth canal. Janette had offered to take the pain away, but Natalie had refused, wanting to be aware of every moment, every sensation. Now she almost wished she had relented, as her insides seemed to be ripping apart from within. "Oh, God, Nick!"

        "It's okay, Nat," he soothed her, wiping the sweat from her brow with a damp cloth. He was kneeling beside her, his face level with hers as she held desperately onto his hand. "Breathe, my love, breathe..."

        "I can see the head!" Janette called excitedly. "You're going to have to push, Natalie! This is it--"

        "Push, Nat, come on, you can do it--"

        "Nick!"

        "I'm right here, Nat...Come on, push..."

        "The head is out! I see the shoulders..."

        Natalie screamed as the pain became unbearable. She could hear Nick's voice, urging her to push, and without thinking, she obeyed, struggling against the agony, knowing that maybe if she pushed hard enough, it would stop...

        She was dying. She had to be. She couldn't hurt this much and live. She grasped Nick's hand, concentrating on his voice, not wanting to let go of him, of life. The pain intensified, and she began to scream uncontrollably...

        Suddenly: release, relief. And as her own screams died, she could hear a baby's cry, and Janette' s triumphant announcement.

        "It's a boy!"

        The tears of pain turned to tears of joy as Nick's jubilant laughter rang out. He kissed her full on the lips, and as his face came away from hers she could see the happiness in his eyes.

        He pulled away from her, looking in wonder at the tiny infant whose birth he had just witnessed. Janette held the baby out to him, her own eyes filled with a greater awe than he had ever seen there. "Here is your son, Nicolas," she said softly. Gingerly, Nick took the child into his arms, amazed at the tiny body, the angelic face, the delicate fingers and toes, the soft white skin, still covered in his mother's blood. Janette had tied the umbilical cord, but he knew that the blood was making her feel weak. "I'll clean him," he told her, and she nodded.

        She turned towards the door, but looked back as he called her name.

        "Janette...thank you.

        She smiled. "I'll leave you two alone with your son."

        He carried the baby to Natalie, placing him in her open arms.

        "Oh Nick, he's so beautiful..."

        He sat beside her, brushing the hair from her forehead with his fingers, then kissing her there. "Just as beautiful as his mother," he whispered. He slipped his arm around her. "Do you know how proud I am of you?"

        She lay back against him, still entranced by the tiny life resting in her careful embrace. "Well, I did do most of the work--" She looked up at him. "But I don't think I could have done it without you here."

        He kissed her tenderly. "I love you, Nat."

        "I love you, too."

        He held her for a long time as they watched the baby squirming in his mother's arms. "I'd better clean him up," Nick suggested finally. "Come on, Richard. Let Daddy give you your first bath..."

        When he returned, Natalie seemed to have taken on an air of apprehension. She quickly reached out for the baby, her face filled with worry as she held him possessively.

        "What is it, Nat?" he asked, although he knew the answer.

        "They're going to be coming, Nick," she said without taking her gaze from her son's face. "I won't let them take him...I won't..." Her eyes had begun to fill with tears, and Nick wasted no time in wrapping his arm" around her.

        "Shhhh, Nat, it's okay. No one's going to take him. I promise--"

        They looked up as Janette entered, her face filled with foreboding. "Nicolas, you have...a visitor."

        Nick stood slowly, nodding to Janette, who came to stand by Natalie's side. And suddenly Daniel was at the doorway. Natalie gasped.

        "Outside," Nick told him firmly.

        "But I have a job to do, Nicky," Daniel replied, ignoring his request. He walked to the bed as both Janette and Nick moved closer to the baby and his mother.

        "Congratulations are in order," the young vampire said pleasantly. "What have you named him?"

        "Richard," Natalie responded, tightening her grasp on the infant.

        Daniel approached her, and Nick put his hand on Natalie's shoulder to remind her that he was there. And as the boy who had lived almost a century carefully inspected the tiny creature, his eyes filled with an almost child-like amazement. "He's so...small."

        Nick picked up on his wonder and put in, "Probably only four or five pounds."

        "I think...I would be afraid to pick him up," Daniel muttered under his breath.

        "Look at him, Daniel," Nick told him. "A fragile, helpless, human infant. No great experiment, and of no great importance to the Elders. But to us--" he paused as Daniel looked up at him, "--he's everything. And I won't let anyone harm him."

        Daniel was softening, and Nick knew it.

        "Touch his skin, Daniel. That soft, warm skin. Do you sense anything but purity--mortality--from him?"

        Daniel reached out one cold finger to touch the baby's arm, pulling it away slowly as he felt the heat emanating from him. He looked up at Nick. "You really love him, don't you, Nicky?"

        What did he see in Daniel's eyes? Sadness? Regret for a life long gone? Envy? "Of course I do. Just as I loved you."

        "You betrayed me," Daniel accused.

        "I tried to save you. But I failed. And I'm sorry. But taking this child will not change what you are."

        "It will free me from their omnipresent control--"

        "Perhaps. But maybe not. And what will happen to Richard? What will they do once they realize he' s nothing more than a human child?!" Daniel was silent, but his face had clouded over.

        "Daniel, Nicolas cared for you," Janette broke in. "We both did. And he never forgave himself for not being able to save you. Can you really do this to him now?"

        "Please, Daniel," Natalie implored.

        Daniel looked from Nick to Janette, his eyes resting finally on Natalie and the baby. And as his gaze met Nick's once more, Nick believed he could see the little boy who had looked up to him so many years ago. And in those eyes were forgiveness...and compassion.

        "I'll tell Stavros I've seen the baby," he said finally. "And that he's completely human." He paused. "You all are."

        The tension in the room broke. Nick hugged Natalie and the baby against him, while Janette sighed a breath of relief. Nick looked up at Daniel, at the sad smile that had crossed his lips. "Thank you," he told the boy, his voice filled with emotion.

        "No, Nicky. Thank you. You may not have been able to save me from this existence--but today, you saved me from losing my humanity altogether." He walked over to Nick, extending his hand. "Good bye. The next time I see you, I promise, it'll be a social visit."

        Nick nodded his understanding and gratitude. "Good bye, Daniel. And good luck."

        "Natalie...Princess...be well."

        "Good bye, Daniel," Janette said, giving him a hug as she had so long ago.

        "Thank you," Natalie said simply, her face filled with peace for the first time in months.

        And he was gone.

        Nick let out a deep breath as a weight lifted from his soul. With one arm, he drew Natalie and the baby towards him, holding them close, kissing her on the forehead. With his other hand he reached for Janette's, squeezing it. She had really come through for him in the end, and his expression told her that he would never forget it.

        "It's over," he told them all in a hushed whisper. "It's over."

        Natalie shook her head, but was smiling brightly as she looked down at their son. "No. It's just beginning."

       

         The noonday sun was shining brightly, melting the February snow that had covered the street outside the Twenty-seventh Precinct. Natalie tucked the blanket more snugly around Richard, glad that she'd bought him the new snowsuit with its fuzzy hood. A tiny mittened hand reached up to her, and she smiled. "It's okay, sweetie, Daddy's coming soon..."

        When she looked up from the carriage, he was coming down the steps, smiling face becoming flushed from the cold, blond hair catching the sunlight. She loved what the sun did to him. She laughed as he grabbed her in a bear-hug, nearly lifting her into the air. "You're in a good mood," she said, kissing him.

        "It's a beautiful day," he told her. "You're here...our baby's here..." He peeked into the carriage where Richard had dozed off once more. "Why shouldn't I be in a good mood?" he said, hugging her once more.

        "Well, well, if it isn't the little mother..."

        Natalie looked up to see Schanke coming towards them.

        "Hi, Schank," she said warmly, accepting his kiss on the cheek. "Coming with us to lunch?"

        "Nah, I'd like to, but I'm beat. I'm heading home." He peered into the carriage. "Just thought I'd come say hello and take a look at the little guy. Geez, he's getting big." He looked up at Natalie. "You know, I think it's nice you named him after your brother--but does that mean twenty years from now there's gonna be a guy on the force named Rick Knight?"

        Nick laughed. "No, I think Richie will be a doctor like his mother."

        "Smart kid," Schanke commented. "Look, guys, don't forget, Myra wants to have you over for dinner..."

        Natalie promised she would call her, and Schanke took his leave. Nick put his arm around her, wheeling the carriage with her.

        "Did you call Father Roquefort about the Christening?" she asked.

        "Yes. He said we can do it as early as two weeks from now. All we have to do is pick godparents."

        Natalie was thoughtful. "Hm. This is a big decision. Don't laugh, but after all she's done to help us, I really wish we could ask Janette--"

        Nick stopped wheeling, looking at her with a blend of amusement and shock.

        "Yeah, yeah, I know, the church thing. It was just a thought..."

        "It's a nice thought, and I know she's changed a lot, but, Nat, let's not push it."

        She laughed. "Okay. Then how about my sister-in-law, Sarah? It would probably mean a lot to her, especially because he's named after Richard."

        Nick nodded in agreement. "I think so too. Okay, now we need a godfather."

        Natalie grinned. "Well, you only have one really close male friend--"

        Nick feigned a look of horror. "Schanke?! No, that means if we die, he's got to raise our kid? He'll have him living on souvlaki and falafel!"

        "Come on, now, he's your best friend--"

        Nick sighed deeply. "Okay. You win. You're right."

        "I'm sure he'll be thrilled," she said, beginning to push the carriage once more. "So, now that that's settled, let's go eat. I'm starved. What time do you have to get back?"

        "Oh, I took the rest of the day off," he said nonchalantly.

        "Not that I'm complaining, but I thought you were busy with the Peters case..."

        "We solved it," he told her triumphantly. "My first case solved as a mortal."

        "That's great!" She slipped her arm around his waist. "I told you you could do it."

        His nose wrinkled. "It's a little hard when you can't fly, or dominate someone's mind into giving a confession--but I think I'm getting the hang of it."

        "Just stay out of the way of flying bullets, okay?" she said gently. "I worry about you now, you know."

        He stopped, taking her into his arms. "Nat, the reason I took off, is that Father Roquefort wants to see us."

        "About the Christening?" she asked, confused. "Why, is there--"

        "No," he told her tenderly. "About our wedding."

        Her face flushed with excitement. "Nick. . ."

        "It's long overdue, Natalie. And I won't feel complete until you're my wife."

        His kiss could have melted the snow. She melted in his arms. "I love you," she whispered.

        "Is that a yes?" he breathed.

        "You know it is."

        He held her for a long moment, reluctantly releasing her as the wind began to blow. "Come on. Let's get him out of the cold."

        They headed arm in arm towards St. John's, and towards the blissful future they'd never even dared dream possible.

 

The End